Pathways (The Kingdom Chronicles Book 1)

by Camille Peters

  A princess possesses the knowledge necessary to rule—both a well-rounded education and an understanding of royal life, relationships, and expectations. A princess with wisdom is one who can better govern as queen.

  This task felt far more daunting than the last, for appearances were far easier to feign than knowledge. How could I cram an entire lifetime of education into a single night? Even with Aiden’s help it felt impossible…assuming he’d come. Not that I doubted he would, but the hour was growing late and he had yet to arrive.

  Minutes dragged by. I practically wore holes in my satin slippers as I continued to pace, eying the door each time I passed. I frowned at the clock on the mantle. It was well after ten. What if he never came?

  I nearly sobbed with relief when a knock sounded at the door. “Come in.”

  Aiden stepped inside with his usual warm smile and bow in greeting. I gaped at him. Despite my doubt, he’d come.

  He tilted his head, brow puckered. “What’s wrong?”

  “You came.” The words came out strangled.

  He gave me my favorite crooked grin. “Of course I did. I promised I would.”

  I swallowed what would certainly become a spout of embarrassing tears. “You came.” Even repeating the words didn’t make them feel real.

  His bewildered expression softened to understanding. “You were worried I wouldn’t?”

  I twisted a strand of my dark hair around my finger and avoided his eyes. Now that he was here I felt foolish for having doubted him. I lowered my eyes, saying nothing. He closed the distance between us and cupped my cheek, tilting my face so our eyes met. By the tenderness filling his expression, I could tell he read the words ingrained on my heart that I couldn’t express.

  He stroked my cheek. “I will always come. I promise.”

  I closed my eyes and allowed his words to wash over me. I ached to believe him. Little by little it was becoming easier.

  Aiden’s hand fell away, sliding down my arm until he reached the task still clutched in my hand. He frowned as he read it. “This is admittedly better than the last one, but it’s strange that the king only seems concerned with finding a candidate for queen rather than a wife for the prince.”

  “Focusing on finding a queen seems logical considering the king’s duty to prioritize the happiness of his kingdom.”

  “But couldn’t both be achieved?” He shook his head. “I suppose it doesn’t matter now; we can’t change the test, we can only prepare you for it.”

  I sighed. “It’s more impossible than the last. How can I gain all the required knowledge of a queen in a single night?”

  “That would indeed be impossible,” Aiden said. “But that’s not going to be our approach. Instead, we’ll discern what will likely be asked of you and give you enough knowledge that you can feign that you know more than you actually do.”

  While even that seemed overwhelming, for the first time all evening a flutter of hope filled me. “Do you really believe I can do this?”

  “I have no doubts. I’ll tutor you in all you need to know, even if it takes all night. I’ll return shortly.” He kissed my hand, but when he started to pull away I didn’t let go.

  “Where are you going?”

  He enfolded my hand securely between his. “I need to get some books from the library. I promise I’ll return soon.”

  I nodded, not trusting myself to speak, and when he dropped my hand I had to clench it to keep myself from reaching for him again. I didn’t tear my gaze away from him as he backed slowly from the room. Even after the door closed behind him, I couldn’t make myself stir. I stared at the door and waited.

  He was gone nearly half an hour, but I refused to move. I’d have stood there all night; I’d waited far longer for Father.

  Aiden’s knock finally echoed through the room once more. I released my pent-up breath. “Come in.”

  Aiden stepped inside, his arms laden with books. He paused when he spotted me and furrowed his brow. “Have you moved from that spot the entire time I was gone?”

  I bit my lip and didn’t answer. Compassion filled his expression.

  “I’m sorry I took so long to return.” Aiden set the books on the desk and motioned me over. “Would you like to see what I’ve brought you?”

  I managed to unthaw and slowly approach. He wrapped his arm around my waist and lifted the first book in the stack. “We’ll only cover the basics in all the general areas I imagine you’ll be tested in,” he said. “First: the royal genealogies.”

  I frowned at the thick volume. “We’re reading that entire book in a single night?”

  He chuckled. “That would be dangerous, considering it’s an excellent cure for insomnia—although sleeping is undoubtedly far more entertaining than reading this. We’ll only go over the living royalty in Sortileya and the four surrounding kingdoms, along with notable historical royals within Sortileya’s own royal history. From there we’ll move on to other necessary subjects.”

  He picked up another book from the stack: A Basic Guide to Diplomacy.

  I groaned. “I don’t think I can do this.”

  “Of course you can. You’re smart and perfectly capable.”

  Already a headache pulsed behind my eyes, making me feel anything but. I took a steadying breath in an attempt to quell my escalating panic. “It’s not about being smart or capable; there’s just so much knowledge expected of a queen. I doubt my own limited education covered subjects the Dark Prince desires his wife to know.”

  “I wouldn’t be so sure,” Aiden said. “An educated wife doesn’t guarantee a happy marriage, for memorizing facts doesn’t determine the kindness of one’s heart, which you have in abundance.”

  I warmed at his words. “Really?”

  He nodded. “Knowledge can always be acquired. I consider your sweet nature far more valuable. Remember: the Forest led you here, making your presence in this competition no accident. You can do this.” His dark eyes were so earnest and sincere, radiating his belief in me.

  I took a wavering breath and nodded. He stroked my cheek.

  “It’s a good thing you’re not trying to win the competition. Imagine how much more anxious you’d be if your performance determined whether or not you could wed your true love.”

  He was right. I wasn’t trying to win; I only needed to do well enough not to get caught. The anxious knots tightening my stomach gradually loosened. I managed a smile.

  He tucked a loose strand of hair behind my ear. “Are you feeling better?”

  “I will after this is all over.”

  “It will be soon. Now, shall we begin?” He took my hand and led me to the settee in front of the hearth, where we settled with our books.

  Over the course of several hours, we went through the facts Aiden felt essential for a princess to know in all manner of subjects. Despite the cramming of so much information, the experience was still surprisingly pleasant. Although the subjects were extremely dry, Aiden was a fun study partner. He told dramatic stories to help me remember the names of both famous and infamous royals and the dates of important events. From there he summarized even the most daunting subjects in simple terms. Diplomacy in particular seemed extremely complex until Aiden broke it down.

  “Diplomacy consists of flattering the one you’re negotiating with in order for them to give you what you want, which is easiest to accomplish if you make it sound like it’s in their best interest. It’s also wise to ensure they appear to be in the right—even when they’re clearly not—and to point out all the positives of the contract while skimming over the negatives, but never in a way that’s dishonest. Simply…misdirection.” His lips twitched as he eyed me. “You’re smiling, Eileen. Why?”

  I tried to mash my lips together in order to hide it but failed. “It sounds…conniving.”

  “Oh, it is,” Aiden said. “But admittedly rather effective.”

  From diplomacy and royal history, we moved on to the geography of the surrounding kingdoms and the basics
of foreign relations and trade—particularly in regards to Sortileya’s economy—before finally ending the extended study session on rhetoric. As Aiden taught me, I marveled at his intellect and warmed at his praises when he complimented my own.

  “And finally,” Aiden concluded as we finally finished, “if you find you don’t know something, it’s better to admit it than make a guess and get it wrong. A ruler is praised more for humility than for a poor decision made in ignorance.” He grinned and leaned back on his elbows, signifying the end of the lesson. “Congratulations, you’ve survived another tutoring session.”

  “I did.” Amazing. I managed an exhausted giggle. “My head feels about to explode, but I feel much more confident about tomorrow. Thank you for your help.”

  His soft gaze penetrated mine, making me feel turned inside out. “As always, it was my pleasure.”

  We stared at one another for a reverent moment, the spell between us broken only by the chime of the clock. Aiden glanced at it with obvious reluctance. It was after three in the morning. “It’s rather late. Shall we call it an evening?”

  “Oh please, let’s not.” Despite the exhaustion pressing against my senses, I didn’t want the evening to end. I’d never been with someone where hours melted away to form a single beautiful moment that, no matter how long it was, could never be long enough.

  Aiden smiled and relit the candle on the side table that was nearly spent before twisting back towards me, sitting cross-legged so closely our knees nearly touched. The candle’s flickering glow lit his handsome face.

  “We shall stay up a little while longer, if that is your wish.” Aiden scooted closer, his touch going to my hair, where he pulled out my hairpins. My dark hair cascaded around my face.

  He gently parted my curtain of hair. I held my breath as he traced his fingertip along the chain of my necklace and tugged it from beneath my collar. He stared at my locket before glancing back up at me, seeking permission. I slowly nodded.

  Aiden opened the locket and held it in his palm, staring at Father’s portrait. He traced the edge of its heart shape as he raised his questioning eyes to mine; it was the key that finally opened the stronghold protecting the secrets I couldn’t keep any longer.

  “Father gave me this necklace as a farewell gift,” I began shakily. “He was only going to be gone for a few days, he said. He told me he loved me and promised he’d return.” Tears burned my eyes. “But he lied. He never did.”

  Aiden’s eyes softened as he reached out and wiped away the tears already staining my cheeks. “Oh, Eileen.”

  “He lied,” I stuttered. “He left. He said he loved me, but they were only words. I trusted him and he—”

  A shudder raked over me, but now that I’d started, I couldn’t stop sharing the memory I’d kept buried deep for so many years.

  “He broke Mother’s heart. He broke mine. I don’t want to experience that pain again. I can’t. It’s too agonizing.” And finally my deep-rooted fear tumbled out, unable to be contained any longer. “Was there something wrong with me that caused him to leave?”

  “No, Eileen, of course not.”

  “Then why did he? My own father didn’t want me, and thus no one will ever—” My sobs escaped and Aiden enfolded me in a warm hug. I nestled close, burying my tear-streaked face against his chest. Aiden rubbed my back as he rocked me, whispering soothingly.

  “I’m so sorry he left you, Eileen. But please believe me, there’s nothing wrong with you.” He paused. “I’m beginning to better understand your hesitancy in getting close to me.”

  I clung to him, hoping the gesture would keep him with me, for the longer I was with him, the more I realized how much I needed him. “What if you’re wrong? What if you decide to leave me, too?”

  “Impossible,” Aiden murmured. “I could never leave you. Are you certain your father meant to stay away?”

  “No. And not knowing for sure is the worst part.”

  “Then perhaps he didn’t. Maybe something happened to him.”

  “It doesn’t matter,” I said. “All that matters is that he’s gone.”

  Aiden nodded and nestled against my hair. “How many years ago was it?”

  “Ten,” I said. “He went to the capital to trade—or so he claimed—and never returned.” I released a pent-up sigh, exhausted from all the emotions raging through me. Aiden’s comforting hold tightened around me, enfolding me in a cocoon of security.

  “I understand why you’re hesitant to open your heart. When people leave—whether willingly or not—they leave a hole in our hearts that makes it difficult to trust anyone with something so precious again.” Pain twisted his expression as he lowered his eyes.

  “What is it, Aiden?”

  He hesitated. “Mother died while giving birth to my sister, something I’ve never forgiven my sister for, nor my mother. Now that I’m older, I understand it wasn’t Mother’s fault, but at times I still feel angry towards them. Mother left me, and the hole in my heart from her leaving can never fully be healed.”

  My own heart broke for him. I rested my hand on top of his. “I’m so sorry, Aiden.”

  He stared at our touching hands before flipping his over to stroke my palm. “Nothing was ever the same after Mother died. I became hardened and withdrawn, pushing everyone away in my pain. I thought it easier to be alone than to face the heartbreak at losing someone so close to me again.”

  “You haven’t pushed me away,” I said softly.

  He finally raised his gaze to mine. Whatever fortress protecting his secrets that used to guard his eyes now lay crumbled.

  “I tried to at first, but the closer we became, the more I realized that there’s something stronger than my fear of losing you—and that’s loving you.” He took both my hands and held them against his chest so I could feel his beating heart. “I’m finding that the more pieces of my heart I give away, the more it heals. I’ve never met anyone who makes me feel the way you make me feel.” He dropped his gaze. “I’m hoping you feel the same way towards me…or have your feelings changed?”

  I stared at the flickering candle, its dancing flame causing shadows to waltz across the walls. My feelings had changed, but instead of fading away, they’d only strengthened. I was tired of fighting against these emotions. I pressed my hand against my heart, as if the added pressure could somehow contain the swirling pain, a pain that became more acute the harder I fought against my heart’s desire. This constant battle was too wearying. Could I allow myself to finally choose this path—to choose him?

  I ached to tell him my deep feelings—that there was nothing I wanted more than him—but my fear still continued to hold me back. I hated how paralyzing it was, the power I’d allowed it to hold over me. How could I become brave enough to choose Aiden no matter the potential risks that came from a future together?

  He cradled my face, so incredibly gently, a gesture that nearly undid me completely. “I know you’re frightened. I am too, but my fears are nothing to the thought of living without you. Don’t you need me as much as I need you?”

  “I do need you,” I whispered. “That’s why I’m terrified of losing you.”

  “You won’t if you let me in. I know the future is uncertain—everybody’s is—but I promise to always be there for you. You’re so brave, Eileen. Can’t you trust this path?”

  My lip trembled. “I’ve protected my heart far too long. What if I’m not strong enough to ever give it away completely?”

  “You are,” he said. “You must believe that.”

  “Can you help me be strong enough?” I whispered.

  His gaze caressed my face as he thought for a moment until an idea lit his eyes. “May I have tonight’s payment?”

  The suddenness of his question shattered the mood. “What do you want?”

  His hand released mine to trail up my arm and cradle my necklace in his palm. He stared at it long and hard before slowly looking up. “I want this necklace.”

  I gasped. No, he couldn�
�t really be asking…I searched his eyes, trying to discern whether or not he was serious. He was. I yanked out of his arms. “You want the last gift my father ever gave me?”

  “You don’t have to give it,” he said gently. “But I’m asking for it.”

  I clutched my locket protectively against my heart, so tightly it dug into my palm. He waited patiently, his dark eyes intense as he peeled back my secrets one by one, accepting each one, accepting me, just as I was. He now knew all of me—my brokenness, my fears, my lack of trust. He saw my raw, fiercely protected heart—one I was currently too afraid to give to him, unable to bear the agony should he break it—and yet he still looked at me with as much adoration as always.

  He slowly held out his hand. I whimpered and clutched my locket even tighter, holding on to the symbol of Father’s betrayal, of his broken trust and the pain his leaving had caused me.

  But gradually my fingers loosened around the metal heart and I slowly unclasped the locket for the first time since receiving it. I searched Aiden’s eyes, full of such sweet understanding.

  “Can you let it go?” he whispered, and in that moment, I realized what he was really asking of me. He didn’t want the locket but something far more difficult to relinquish.

  I shakily dropped my locket in a coil in his palm. His fingers enclosed it before he tucked it away, taking it forever. Giving it to him somehow removed the burden I’d been carrying for years, leaving me feeling lighter and freer. My tears escaped, blurring his awed expression.

  “You gave it to me.”

  I lowered my eyes, unable to speak. He pulled me close and held me. I snuggled deeper into his embrace, relishing in the feelings filling my now-free heart. When I’d initially resisted walking this path it was because I’d expected it to lead only to heartache, but after finally letting go of the past, I felt nothing but wonderful feelings. I’d never felt so safe, so warm, and so cherished. I never wanted Aiden to let me go.

  But eventually he did, pulling away with obvious reluctance. “Thank you, Eileen. I know that was difficult for you, but I’m hoping that by letting go, you’ll finally be able to heal.” He pressed his lips to my tear-stained cheek. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”