With a final smirk, she spun around and flounced away. I stared after her for a moment, fighting to control my panting, hyperventilating breaths as the walls of towering bookcases closed in around me, suffocating.
Escape—I needed to escape.
I stumbled blindly from the library and through the corridors, unsure where I was going, only knowing I needed to get away. I’d rather face the guards flanking the outside gates that prevented my exit into the Forest than experience whatever harm Princess Seren’s suspicions could do to me, or worse, to Aiden.
I spun around a corner and ran right into him, as if my panic and need to see him had drawn him to me. The papers he’d been carrying flew everywhere. Guard Alastar slipped out from trailing me in the shadows and promptly began picking them up. Aiden didn’t even give him a second glance, his worried attention focused solely on me.
“Eileen! I’m sorry, I wasn’t watching where I was…Eileen, love? What’s wrong? Are you alright?”
For a moment I gaped at him, faintly registering that this was the first time I’d seen him in the halls of the palace. He was here. I flung myself at him with a sob. His arms wound around me, holding me close.
“What is it? What’s wrong?”
“I need to leave,” I stuttered. “I can’t stay here any longer.”
“Calm down and tell me what happened.”
“I’m being found out. First Princess Lavena’s comments and then Princess Seren’s…what’s worse, she knows you’ve been helping me.”
“Seren?” He muttered a curse and stroked my hair. “Don't worry, she can’t hurt you.”
“You don’t understand. She will. She’ll hurt both of us.” I tried to tug out of his arms—never mind the thought of separating myself from his warm and soothing embrace felt as suicidal as remaining in the palace—but his hold was firm.
“No consequence is so dire as for me to regret helping you,” he said, brushing a kiss along my brow. “Now please tell me what happened.”
I shook my head as my embarrassing tears escaped. I wiped them away, but he’d already seen them.
“Please, Eileen.” His voice broke.
My ache to return home—which had been temporarily masked by the contentment I’d been experiencing—returned. I’d allowed the elegance of the palace and the joy I’d felt with Aiden to distract me from my worries concerning Mother and the danger of my situation, but my conversations with Princess Lavena and Princess Seren had shattered the façade that I could be safe here. I couldn't stay any longer.
“I want to go home.”
“I know you do. Tell me what happened first. Please.”
I shook my head again. “Not here.” We were too exposed in this corridor. Aiden scanned the opulent hallway, lined with many doors that could open at any time and have someone stumble upon us. He nodded curtly.
“I understand. Come.”
He took my hand and led me briskly through the corridors, casting me frequent concerned glances as we walked. Even though the panic from my encounter with Princess Seren still pounded through my bloodstream, Aiden’s presence calmed me with each step.
Aiden’s intended destination turned out to be the palace roof, which we reached by ascending a winding back staircase. At the top, Aiden pushed against the ceiling and it opened to reveal the settling dusk. He hoisted himself up before turning around and helping me through.
Outside, the sky blazed with the golden rose of the setting sun. A calming breeze caressed my skin and tangled my hair. Still kneeling, Aiden pulled me into another embrace and held me close, an act which immediately broke the dam of tears I’d been struggling to suppress. I buried my face against his chest and cried.
He stroked my hair and murmured sweet words into my ear. It was amazing how soothing his attentions were; with each touch I melted further into his comfort.
Eventually, my sobs stilled until I was only sniffling against him and occasionally hiccuping. He nestled against my head. “What happened?”
“I can’t do this anymore,” I stuttered. “First Princess Lavena confronted me in the library, then Princess Seren. She knows, Aiden, and if she tells…” Cold fear rippled over me, suffocating me just like the noose would should this charade end in the disastrous way I so feared. “I’m frightened.”
His arms tightened around me in a protective embrace. “Oh Eileen, this is all my fault. My selfishness got you into this mess. When you first arrived at the palace, all I could think about was how happy I was to see you again, how this was an opportunity for us to be together. I’ll never forgive myself for forcing you into a situation that’s brought you nothing but pain.”
It was startling how the thought of his distress was more painful than my own. I caressed his face. “Please don’t blame yourself.”
“But it’s all my fault. I’ve hurt you.”
“It’s not your fault Princess Lavena and Princess Seren discovered who I truly am, and it’s not your fault I’m frightened now. You mean so much to me, Aiden.” I nestled deeper into his tender embrace.
“Does this mean you’ll choose us?” Hope filled his voice. “Please do. I’ve never met anyone who not only makes me so happy but who’s so noble in character. How could the prince not pick you?”
I groaned and pressed my forehead against his heart, which beat as frantically as my own. “I don’t want a prince, I only want you.”
He hooked his fingers beneath my chin to raise my gaze to meet his, his own searching and pleading. “I want you, too. No matter the outcome of this competition, I want you to choose me.”
“Would I be allowed to?” For I felt certain that no one could say no to royalty, no matter how much they wanted to.
“No matter how lost one is, there’s always another path,” he said. “Can’t I be yours?”
I ached to say yes, for no path had ever felt as right as the one that led to him. But even though I’d already chosen him, my fear still lingered, not completely releasing me from the bars of my self-made prison, making me still unable to tell him I chose him.
Aiden waited a patient moment for my answer and sighed sadly when I remained silent. Guilt prickled my heart at the pain my limiting fears were causing him. I needed to overcome them, not just for myself but for him, for us.
He stroked my cheek, his yearning-filled gaze seeping into mine. “You're not ready, are you?”
“Not quite,” I said. “I’ve been thinking about when you spoke of a future together in the hedge maze. I want one with you, but I just need some more time.”
“Of course, Eileen. I’ll give you all the time you need. But can I really be so selfish to claim you when doing so would make you unhappy?”
“You’re afraid you’ll make me unhappy?”
“I’m afraid of hurting you again.” He took a wavering breath. “There’s something I need to tell you.”
I peered up at him, curious. He searched my expression, opened his mouth to speak…but remained silent.
“What is it, Aiden?”
He leaned against my touch. “I don’t know how to tell you. What if you leave me?”
“Why would I leave you?”
He pulled me into another hug, clinging to me as if afraid I’d slip away if he let me go. “Because I know you miss your old life, the life I took you away from when I entangled you in this competition. I need to make it up to you. Do you still want to leave?”
It was the invitation I’d been seeking since arriving at the castle. Did Aiden know of a way out of this that up until now he hadn’t shared with me? Was escape really within my grasp?
I searched his expression for his sincerity. After all his efforts in keeping me here, would he really help me escape? With the fear from the princesses’ suspicions I considered it, but one look in Aiden’s eyes changed my mind. I couldn’t turn my back on the opportunity of being with the man I loved, no matter how frightened I still was.
I cared for him and I knew he cared for me in return. I relished the way
he looked at me, as if after years of searching he’d found exactly who he’d been looking for. As I stared into his eyes, I realized I felt the same way about him. With this thought, the terror tightening my chest slowly eased.
“No, I don’t want to leave, not anymore.” And I snuggled closer, sealing the decision my heart had made.
Chapter 21
My hands shook as I stared at the final task:
For all the decorum and knowledge a princess possesses, she must still win the heart of the prince in order to be of his choosing. Prepare to present yourself at tomorrow night’s ball, where each will dance with His Royal Highness before he chooses the queen who will rule by his side.
It wasn’t the task itself that frightened me. After I’d managed to fumble my way through proper etiquette and royal knowledge, I could surely learn to dance in a single evening; I’d seen Rosie dance on several occasions, so it wouldn’t be completely new to me. No, it was the fact that I’d be forced to dance with the Dark Prince. It would be my ultimate test in this deception. Why hadn’t I seized Aiden’s invitation to escape when I’d the chance?
I didn’t hear Aiden’s knock until it became louder and more insistent. I walked numbly to the door to yank it open.
Aiden’s eyes widened as he took in my expression. “What is it? What’s wrong?” He closed the door behind him and rubbed my arms soothingly. I pressed my forehead against his chest and allowed him to hold me.
“I don’t know if I can do this,” I whispered. He wrapped his arm around me and gently led me to the settee in front of the crackling fire, where he lowered us.
“Is it the final task?”
I nodded and wordlessly handed it to him. He read it. “Why are you so worried? This is the easiest one.” He rubbed my back as he nestled against my hair.
I tipped my head up. “I’m afraid to dance with the prince.”
Aiden’s brow furrowed. “Are you afraid he’ll pick you?”
“I’m afraid of being found out, of being seen for who I truly am. I’m a fraud.”
“You’re not a fraud,” Aiden said. “You’re the most genuine person I know. As such, you’ll be fine. You’re strong and will get through this. Will it ease your heart to know I’ll also be at the ball?”
“You will?” This both pleased me and horrified me. “That means you’ll see me dance with the prince.” My cheeks burned deeper at that thought.
He tilted his head. “Perhaps I could pull faces at you during your dance in order to get you to smile.”
“Oh, don’t do that; what if it makes him like me? I don’t want to encourage him at all.”
His lips twitched. “You’re right; you’re bound to be chosen even without my interference.”
Horror filled my heart at the thought. “He mustn’t choose me. I can’t pretend to be something I’m not the rest of my life; eventually my deception will be revealed.” But that was nothing to the thought of living the remainder of my life without Aiden.
“No matter what happens, I promise you’ll be alright. And don’t worry if you mess up; you’ll still outshine every princess there.”
I knew he was trying to ease my worries, but they only escalated. “Why are you so certain I’ll be picked?”
He caressed my cheek, his gaze adoring. “Because you’re wonderful.”
“Then let’s hope he’s too blind to see whatever it is you do.”
He reached for my hand and rubbed his thumb along the back of it. “You really don’t want to be chosen by him, do you?”
“That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you.”
He frowned. “Does the thought of being royal still upset you?”
My stomach knotted. “It does, but it’s more than that.”
I caressed his cheek. He rested his hand on top of mine and leaned against my touch. “Do you want to be chosen by someone else instead?”
His look was hopeful and smoldering, one that ignited my insides. I stared at him in return, hoping he could read the words from my heart in my eyes, ones I couldn’t express. I wanted him, needed him. I ached to confess my feelings; I’d regret it forever if I didn’t. I had to summon my bravery tonight, somehow.
I forced myself to pull away from his warm embrace, needing space to think. “Can you really dance adequately enough to teach me?”
“I’ll have you know I’m an excellent dancer and an even better teacher.” He helped me to my feet before bending over my hand to kiss it. “Princess Eileen—”
“Please don’t call me that.”
His lips quirked up. “My darling Eileen, may I have the honor of this dance?”
Mouth dry, I nodded. Aiden wrapped his hand around my waist to pull me closer. I melted against him with a content sigh, marveling once more at how right it felt to be with him.
“Our first dance,” he murmured into my hair. “I hope you save one for me at the ball.”
I couldn’t speak. I pressed myself closer to him, allowing all of him to envelop me.
“Rest your left hand on my shoulder and gently place your right hand in mine. There, see how easy this is so far?”
“Until we start to move.” I was beginning to regret refusing Rosie’s multiple attempts to teach me how to dance.
“We’re only doing a simple waltz, so you’ll be fine.” He squeezed my hand assuringly. “Each of your steps is a mirror image to mine. We’ll start by making a square with our feet. I’ll step forward with my left foot while you step back with your right.”
I did and managed a choked laugh of relief when I succeeded. He held me closer, his heated touch enveloping my waist.
“Now, I’m going to step to the right with my right foot in an upside-down ‘L’ shape while you move your left foot back to the left so we still face one another.”
I narrowly missed stepping on his foot. “Oh no, I almost maimed you.”
He chuckled. “You can step on my feet all you want if it means we’re dancing together.”
“I doubt the prince will be so accommodating.”
“I thought you’d welcome such a mishap, considering you don’t want to be picked,” he teased. “Don’t worry, you’ll be fine. Now, the next step…”
The waltz continued step by step, each performed several times until I could dance without prompting. Although I was unmistakably rough and lacking in natural grace, I wasn’t as terrible as I’d feared. Rosie would be proud.
Aiden hummed the familiar waltz tune I’d heard performed during the village dances as he twirled us effortlessly around the bedroom, leaving me to savor not only the dance itself but the dance with him. An intense, warm emotion filled my heart to be wrapped securely in his arms.
With each spin Aiden pulled me closer, as if he meant to keep me near him always. His hand resting at my waist moved up to massage the base of my back, sending pleasant tingles rippling up and down my spine. Each touch from him only ignited the feelings burning within me, the need to remain in this moment with him forever.
I rested my head on his shoulder and snuggled close, sighing contentedly as he rested his head on top of mine. In my need to be even closer to him, I stood on tiptoe and brushed a soft kiss against his lips, a kiss that melted into a long, lingering one. My arms hooked around his neck and my fingers burrowed in his hair.
Eventually we not only broke the kiss but slowed our waltz to a stop.
“Eileen?” Aiden’s soft voice penetrated the reverent stillness and drew my gaze to him once more. “Have you had a chance to think about our future?”
I nodded as I unwound my arms from around his neck and intertwined our hands. “I can’t imagine any future without you.”
He cradled my face and pressed a soft kiss on my brow. “Neither can I. As such, there’s nothing I’ve ever wanted more than what I’m about to ask you for.” He pressed his free hand against my pounding chest. “I want your heart. I know you’ve been through a lot of pain,” he continued gently. “I know your heart has been protected and will take ti
me to completely relinquish to me, but I also know that as soon as you do—as soon as you allow faith to be stronger than your fears—you’ll finally be able to heal. Trust me, I know. I love you, Eileen, more than I’ve ever loved anyone, and if you trust your heart to me, I promise to cherish it forever.”
He loved me. I found myself completely unprepared for the effect those beautiful words would have on me. Warmth enveloped me, as if I’d been dipped in the sun, and my heart soared.
Mother had told me that love was worth experiencing even at the risk of losing it, that she’d choose Father again even after knowing the outcome of that choice. I hadn’t understood her then. I understood her now. I was no longer afraid of choosing love, only of losing my opportunity to embrace it.
Aiden shifted uneasily at my extended silence. “Please, Eileen…” He held both my hands and pulled them to his chest.
“I can’t give you what you already have,” I whispered. “My heart is already yours.” It had been for a long time.
I would never forget the joy that lit his expression at my words. “Oh Eileen, really?”
“It’s always been yours, even before I realized it.”
“And mine is yours.” He embraced me, holding me tightly, as if he never intended to let me go. I snuggled closer, marveling at how simple it had been to choose him, how right this felt. “Tomorrow at the ball I’ll claim you,” he murmured into my ear. “Everyone will know we belong together. Will you save me a dance?”
“I’ll save you every dance.” I kissed him lightly, sealing the promise. As magical as dancing with Aiden at a ball was sure to be, I knew that it wouldn’t hold a candle to our dance tonight, the one that had allowed me to finally tell him I’d chosen him and would continue choosing him forever.
Chapter 22
I’d scarcely slept. How could I with all that had transpired between Aiden and me? Whenever I’d tried to sleep, the beautiful memory of our dance would fill my mind, causing me to grin as my toes curled in delight. My heart felt lighter than it ever had, on the brink of soaring away.
Pathways (The Kingdom Chronicles Book 1) Page 23
