The sky had been a swirl of grey all morning, a sign of approaching rain. I ignored the sky’s threats and ventured outside anyway, unaffected by the biting chill and too restless to remain cooped up in the palace. I strolled the cobblestone pathways weaving through the manicured gardens, so unlike the wild beauty of the Forest, whose dark, majestic trees surrounded the Sortileyan Palace, taunting me with their presence.
Despite its bout of mischief in leading me to the palace, I still longed for the sanctuary of the woods—its minty, pine-scented air and dappled green light as the sun danced through its canopy of leaves. I missed the whispers of the trees, the air that was thick with mystery and possibility, and especially the thrill that came from taking whichever path it had in mind and seeing where it led.
The decision to follow the Forest’s constantly shifting pathways had led me here, and now I was facing another path I never imagined I’d one day walk. How freeing it was to finally embrace what my heart had been leading me to all along.
I found myself at the maze, where Aiden had invited me to explore a future with him. I ran my hand along the hedge wall as I walked the outside, not daring to venture inside without Aiden’s sure guidance to keep me from getting lost.
Aiden, the man I’d chosen. I smiled and pressed my hand to my heart.
I began searching for him. As if the Forest also had control of the garden pathways, I felt it guide me in a specific direction, one I followed, trusting it would lead me to where I needed to be.
I slowed when I heard loud, antagonistic voices coming from up ahead, one of them as familiar as my own. Dread knotted my stomach as I crept towards the water garden. Inside, Aiden stood with his back facing the entrance, his attention riveted to Princess Seren, who glared at him.
“Your threats won’t keep me silent,” she said. “I know all about your scheme, and I won’t let you get away with it. His Majesty will never allow it.”
“You can’t stop me.” Desperation filled Aiden’s voice. “I refuse to be swayed from my decision by anyone, least of all you. I’ve chosen my path and nobody will prevent me from taking it.”
Princess Seren’s glare sharpened. “You’re a fool. One day you’ll realize that.”
Thunder rumbled through the sky, as if affirming her words, before the threatening rain escaped. She covered her head and scowled up at the sky.
“Even arguing with you isn’t worth the rain soiling my gown.”
Aiden rolled his eyes. “Appearances are all you seem to care about. But I’m not like you; I only want someone who makes me happy.”
“And you truly think that imposter will give you that? You’re of noble birth. If you choose that commoner, you’ll regret it forever. Perhaps not immediately, but one day you’ll realize all you gave up for her. Then you’ll toss her aside. Why wait? Just do it now.”
My heart lurched as she voiced the very fears I’d worked so hard to overcome, ones that waited in the wings to revisit me at any vulnerable moment.
Princess Seren smirked. “Or perhaps she’ll be the one to leave you when she discovers everything you’ve kept from her. Some secrets require too high a price, even for her.” The rain picked up and Princess Seren shivered. “If you insist on continuing our fight, let’s at least do it inside.” She turned towards the exit and spotted me, watching with a pounding heart, a heart that felt on the brink of breaking all over again.
“We’re not finished, Seren.” Aiden seized her firmly by the arm as his gaze fell on me. His mouth fell open and his hardened manner immediately softened. But it was too late. I’d already seen and heard too much.
I didn’t realize I was crying until Princess Seren smirked. “Looks like I won’t be ruining anything for you after all; you did it yourself by showing your sweetheart what you’re really like.”
What he was really like…. Once more, witnessing Aiden’s hardened persona put a chink in my resolve. I knew without a doubt that I loved him and wanted a future with him, but was he truly right for me? I ached to move forward, but there was still so much I didn’t know. Was love enough? Had I been so afraid of losing the opportunity to embrace love that I’d chosen him too quickly?
Aiden released Princess Seren and stepped forward, eyes pleading. “Eileen?”
I couldn’t face him now, not when I was so confused by what I’d just overheard. Distance—I needed distance.
I turned and bolted. Aiden immediately ran after me. I wove through the gardens, slipping and sliding on the wet cobblestones, my wet hair dripping down my back and onto my already tear-stained cheeks. My breath came in sharp bursts but I didn’t slow. The palace’s front doors loomed ahead and I ran harder.
“Eileen! Please wait.”
Aiden caught up and seized my wrist with surprising gentleness and tugged me to a stop. I glared at him as I feebly tried to wriggle free, but as before it was futile. Even if he hadn’t been holding me, the emotion in his eyes rooted me to the spot; the pain filling his pleading gaze was more acute than my own.
“Please, Eileen, I need to talk with you.”
I finally gave up the fight. “About what?”
A shiver rippled over me. Aiden tugged off his cloak and draped it over my shoulders. I drew it around me and waited for him to speak, getting more soaked the longer we lingered in the rain.
“Did you overhear my conversation with Seren?”
I flinched at the memory. I didn’t want to think about that encounter, didn’t want to dwell on Princess Seren’s words and all they’d revealed: the darkness I’d again witnessed must be the true Aiden rather than the one who’d stolen my heart away. If what she said was true, I had a greater need to protect my heart. But how could I protect something that wasn’t in my possession any longer, but in his?
Aiden’s eyebrows drew together as he searched my teary expression. He reached out a hesitant hand to brush away my tears. “How much did you hear?”
“Enough.” I gave another tug on his hold, and although he released me his eyes pleaded for me to stay and listen. I still cared enough that I obeyed.
“Seren is angry with me and is using you to hurt me,” he said. “But nothing she said is true. Please don’t believe it.”
I pressed my hands to my hips. “Oh, really? None of it is true?”
He lowered his eyes. His silence confirmed my fears.
“You promised me I could trust you,” I whispered.
“And you can.” He reached for my hand and despite my reservations I let him, needing him to touch me, even now.
“How? I want to, but you keep giving me reasons not to.” I took a deep, steadying breath. “What are you keeping from me? Can’t you tell me?”
He opened his mouth—as if he meant to do just that—before he snapped it shut with a remorseful sigh. Avoiding my eyes, he shook his head. “I can’t tell you now.”
I yanked my hand away. “Please Aiden, don’t do this. Our relationship is still too new.” I could already feel it slipping away. We’d barely lasted a few days. Was this path doomed even before we had a chance to walk it together? My voice choked on my sob. “Please, Aiden. It took me so long to trust you.”
He took my hand again, squeezing it desperately. “I promise I’ll tell you everything, but now isn’t the right time.”
“Then when will it be?”
He groaned and buried his face in his hands. “This is such a mess. Please, Eileen. You must trust me a little while longer.”
He stepped closer, cradling my cheek. Against all sense I leaned against his touch, relishing the gentleness of it, a tenderness that couldn’t be faked, which made me want to believe that this path was still one worth pursuing, despite the potential risks.
“I can’t promise I’ll never hurt you,” he continued. “Despite how much I care, I still have many weaknesses. But I will promise to not only do my best to never hurt you but to always love you. I’ll protect your heart and cherish it forever…if I can still have it.”
He didn’t even n
eed to ask. Love was illogical…yet somehow still achingly beautiful. Thus I needed to be brave.
Aiden’s fingertips caressed my cheeks and my pulse quickened. With a deep breath I stepped closer, allowing Aiden’s warmth to enfold me, blocking out the chill from the rain. His arms tenderly wound around me to hold me close, a gesture which reaffirmed my decision to trust him once more.
I took his cloak and wrapped it around both of us so we were sharing it before I nestled back against his chest. As I did so, I caught sight of a corner of folded parchment sticking out from the inside pocket of his cloak, the handwriting peeking out familiar.
My stomach jolted. “What’s that?”
He stiffened, guilt twisting his expression, confirmation of my horrific realization. I snatched the parchment. My heart sunk as my eyes confirmed my suspicion.
“My letter to Mother, the one I gave you days ago.” I raised my stunned gaze to his dark, remorseful one. “You never sent it.”
He avoided my eyes. “No, I didn’t.”
I gaped at him as this newest betrayal burned through me. “But you promised you would.” The thought of Mother’s pain and worry over this past week sickened me.
“And I will…eventually.”
“Eventually?!” I crumpled the letter in my fist. “How could you not send it after I told you how much my father’s disappearance hurt me and Mother? Don’t you realize how important it is that my mother knows where I am? That I’m safe? I’ve been gone a week. She likely thinks me dead because you didn’t send my letter.”
Aiden winced, revealing his anguish. “I’m so sorry, Eileen, I—”
“You’re sorry? Is that all you have to say?” The tears burning my eyes finally escaped. “How could you? You told me you would send my letter. I believed you.”
“And I will send it,” he said, eyes pleading. “I just need to wait for the best moment.”
“The best moment for who? For you?”
He flinched. “No…I mean, I know it looks bad, but please trust me. I promise I—”
“No!” Fresh tears trickled down my cheeks, fast and furious, but I made no attempt to wipe them away, and when he stepped forward to do it for me, I slapped his hand away. “You broke your promise. I can’t trust you. I can’t trust anyone.”
“But Eileen—”
“No! Why should I give you yet another chance? You entangle me in a mess that risks my life and don’t even have the decency to deliver a letter to ease my frantic mother’s heart. I’m all she has left, and you’re not only keeping me from her but causing her to believe the worst fate has befallen me. This isn’t love; this is selfishness.”
Aiden moaned and buried his face in his hands. “Eileen, I’m sorry, so sorry.”
I threw the letter in his face and spun around to stomp up the front steps. This time he didn’t come after me.
I’d been right all along. Love wasn’t worth all of this.
Chapter 23
The clock on the mantle inched ever closer to the time of tonight’s ball, where I’d not only be forced to dance with Prince Deidric but see Aiden again, neither of which I wanted to do. Alaina had been knocking on my locked door for the past hour, persistently ignoring my order for her to leave.
“Please open the door, Princess. I must prepare you for the ball.”
“I’m not going to the ball,” I told her for the dozenth time.
“But His Majesty has ordered it,” she protested. “Forgive me for refusing your orders, Your Highness, but I must obey the Sortileyan royal family.”
I gritted my teeth at her formal address. “Please stop addressing me in such a way.”
I couldn’t bear to be called princess one more time. I desperately wanted this nightmare to end so I could return to my old life and especially to Mother. The thought of her frantic worrying escalated my anger towards the man who’d broken my trust by failing to deliver my letter.
Alaina ceased knocking for a blissful moment before exclaiming, “Your Highness!”
Unsurprisingly, she continued to ignore my request. I groaned and collapsed backwards onto my bed, where I pressed my pillow over my face to smother her repeated knocking. Still, as annoying as her persistence was, its endurance was a price I’d gladly pay in order to avoid not only the elegance and glamor of the ball but especially the Dark Prince and Aiden.
More knocking. I unburied myself to glare at the door. “Go away.”
“Eileen?”
My breath hooked. That voice…. “Aiden?”
“Yes, it’s me. Please open the door.”
“No, I don't want to see you.” I reburied my head, this time to protect myself from the effects of his honey-smooth voice, already doing strange things to my insides. My legs tingled, defying me by their wish to go open the door to my betrayer. I fought to resist this ridiculous impulse.
“Please, Eileen, I want to talk to you.”
“I refuse to hear anything you have to say.”
“Please listen.” His tone was pleading. “I’m so sorry about this afternoon.”
I tried to ignore him, a difficult feat when the pillow did little to tune out his words. I fought to ignore the part of me that was relieved about that.
“Please open up, Eileen. If you do, I promise I’ll—”
I bolted upright and glared at the door, never mind he couldn’t see it. “Oh, you promise. Such empty words from one who’s broken previous promises made to me. As such, I never want to see you again. Now go away.”
“Eileen, please, I just want—”
“Go away!” I threw my pillow very satisfyingly against the door, with plenty more piled on this bed to use should the need arise; I’d likely use all of them with how stubborn Aiden was proving to be.
His knocking paused. “Did you just throw a pillow at me?” Amusement filled his tone and my own lips twitched. Thank goodness he couldn’t see my bad mood faltering.
“I did, and so help me, if you force that door open, the next one will hit your face, with many more to follow; this bed is drowning in pillows.”
He chuckled and the warm sound seeped over me, weakening my defenses. “Oh, my Eileen.” His laughter faltered and he returned to knocking. “I’ll happily risk any attack from you if you just open up and let me talk to you.”
“Why should I grant your request when I’m determined never to see you again?”
“Because I want to help you escape.”
I’d just seized another pillow and taken aim but froze at his words. “What?”
“I’m going to help you escape before the ball.”
I blinked at the door, still stunned. “Why?”
“For one thing, I have it on good authority that the prince has chosen you as his wife—”
“What!?” Panic clawed my throat. Impossible. That wasn’t supposed to happen; it couldn’t happen. “I’m a failure at being a fake royal. How can a stranger who doesn’t even know me really be so insane as to—”
“Eileen, please.” He kept knocking, and the aggravating sound was causing the beginnings of a headache to throb against my temples. “I know you don’t want this, and I feel horrible for the pain I’ve caused you. You’re right that I’ve been terribly selfish. I wanted your heart so badly that I put my desires above yours. But no longer. I need you to be happy, so I’ll take you back home so your mother will no longer worry. I’m so sorry I didn’t send your letter. I know I’ve messed up and thus don’t deserve your trust, but I need to do this for you so I can somehow make it up to you. Please.”
His knocking ceased as he waited for my answer. I blinked back my tears as I gaped at the closed door. I knew his speech had been nothing but words and thus I had no reason to trust them…but I did, even after everything. Regardless of how fragile my trust currently was, he still possessed my heart, a heart that urged me to take a leap of faith one last time.
I scrambled from the bed and yanked the door open. My breath hooked as I took him in, in all his finery. He wore a ce
remonial dress uniform and looked incredibly regal.
“Are you armed?” he asked.
The pillow I’d brought to hit him with slipped from my fingers. My cheeks warmed as I gaped at him. “You’re…dressed up,” I managed. His own gaze had been hungrily caressing my face. He grinned crookedly.
“I mentioned last evening I’ll be attending the ball, which I believe is starting in an hour.”
“So my maid has told me countless times.” I searched the hallways for her, but she was nowhere in sight. “How did you get her to leave me alone?”
“A bit of persuasion.” He hesitantly took my hand and rubbed the back of it with his thumb, all while his remorseful gaze seeped into mine. “I’m so sorry about betraying your trust, my Eileen, especially after I promised I wouldn’t.”
I bit my lip to keep it from trembling. “Why didn’t you send my note?”
His fingers tightened around mine. “Because I was afraid if your mother knew where you were, she’d come take you away from me. I didn’t even think of the pain she must be experiencing at your disappearance or how much my actions would hurt you. I thought of no one but myself. It was inexcusable.”
I didn’t trust myself to speak, not with the sudden lump in my throat, so I only nodded. “You’re going to take me home?”
“Yes. Now is the best time to leave, when everyone is distracted by the ball.”
“A ball you’re expected to attend.”
“You’re much more important to me than duty. Now, shall we make your escape, my dear?”
He offered his arm. I retrieved my sketchbook before I returned and slowly wound my arm through his, curling my fingers at his elbow. Despite everything that had transpired between us, being with him felt so right. I nestled closer with each step as he led me through the corridors, down a back staircase, and out a side door into the water garden. The air was brisk and smelled fresh and earthy from the recent rain. The sun hung low in the sky, dappling its golden light across the rain-splotched fauna.
“How will we manage to escape when this past week you’ve told me it’s impossible?”
Pathways (The Kingdom Chronicles Book 1) Page 24
