The Plus One Pact

by MacIntosh, Portia

  ‘I probably should have looked at the combination,’ he says with a laugh. ‘Memorised it in case I—’

  Millsy takes one step too far backwards, wobbling back and forth for a couple of seconds, holding out his arms to regain his balance, flapping them as if it might just save him, but it's no good. He topples over with nowhere to land but the loch below him. It’s only shallow water, by the jetty, and I know he can swim. Still, I’m pretty sure he didn’t want to do that.

  ‘Shit,’ he calls out as he falls down. Despite him falling back into the water, every inch of him getting absolutely soaked, he calls this out in such a casual way. Sort of like you would if your pen rolled off your desk or something else equally low stakes.

  He scrambles to his feet, the weight of the water in his clothes making him walk funny as he climbs to the shore.

  Millsy stands next to me. He’s soaking wet.

  ‘Shit,’ he says softly. He blows air through his lips to blast off the water running down his face.

  I can’t help but laugh.

  ‘Don’t worry, I was about to dry my hair – you can use my hairdryer,’ I tell him.

  ‘It’s a good job I didn’t have my phone in my pocket,’ he says as we make our way back to the house.

  Once the three of us are safely back inside Millsy throws on some dry clothes and washes the evidence of burnt pancakes from the pan while I blow-dry Dougie’s coat. With everything that belongs here restored to its normal state, it’s just me and Millsy who look wrong, both with wet hair.

  ‘Cara, seriously, thank you so much, you’ve saved the day again,’ he tells me.

  ‘It was nothing,’ I insist.

  ‘No, it wasn’t nothing, it was seriously cool. Come here.’

  Millsy wraps his arms around me and squeezes me tightly; right as Rod, Mhairi and Iona walk through the door.

  ‘Hello,’ Rod says brightly. ‘Are you two…?’

  He stops what he’s saying the second he claps eyes on us before rejigging what he was going to say.

  ‘Are you two wet?’ he asks.

  ‘I had a bath,’ I tell him honestly. Well, it’s true, so it should sound true, right?

  ‘You both had a bath?’ he asks.

  ‘Yeah,’ Millsy replies quickly.

  Rod’s eyebrows shoot up.

  ‘Oh, no, not together,’ I quickly insist.

  ‘Group baths, an obnoxious car…’ a voice chimes in. ‘Very on-brand, Joe.’

  Shit! The last person through the door is Jay, Millsy’s dreamy stepbrother. I thought he wasn’t coming. Double shit, he thinks I’ve been taking baths with Millsy!

  ‘We had separate baths, didn’t we?’ I insist.

  ‘Oh, absolutely. Cara hogged it, actually. I only had time for a quick dip.’

  ‘Is that really what the kids are calling it these days?’ Iona asks with a cheeky laugh as she hangs up her coat.

  Damn, she’s such a cool older person. I can’t help but giggle.

  ‘So, how are you?’ Jay asks me.

  ‘Oh, I’m—’

  ‘We’re pretty busy, right now, actually,’ Millsy informs him. ‘Come on, Cara, we’ve got that thing to do.’

  ‘Catch you later, I guess,’ I call out to Jay as Millsy leads me off to our bedroom. I can’t imagine that is a good look either, not if I want people to believe we really are just friends.

  ‘Yeah, see you later,’ he calls after me.

  ‘Little bit rude, Millsy,’ I tell him once we’re alone. ‘And what are we busy with right now?’

  ‘He’s a little bit something,’ he replies. I imagine a swear word replacing the word something. I never make my wittiest remarks when I’m annoyed either.

  ‘Anyway, I’m taking you into Pitlochry, to a café, to buy you lunch, seeing as though I, you know, set your breakfast fire. Oh, and to say thank you, for saving the day.’

  ‘That’s very sweet of you,’ I tell him. ‘Thank you. I’m excited to see the drive to town in the daylight.’

  ‘It’s amazing,’ he tells me. ‘Plus, now Jay is here, I just want to get out. Absolute trip-ruiner.’

  I nod. Funny he should say that because, as far as I’m concerned, this trip just got a whole lot better now Jay has turned up.

  16

  Last night, when we were driving along the road to Millsy’s gran’s house, if I knew then what I know now, I’m not sure I would have found it such a relaxing and enjoyable ride.

  When Millsy told me that the road ran alongside the loch, he wasn’t kidding. In some places the loch is only a few feet away from the road. Far too close for comfort given the fact I learned today about the depth of the loch. Even with Millsy’s reassurances that he knows the road well, I think I’m going to be insisting that we only drive along the road in the daylight from now on.

  Pitlochry is a seriously cute place. It’s very touristy but in a way that isn’t in your face. The main part of town is on, or just off, the main street. There are a few pubs, a lot of shops selling shortbread, tartan and Irn-Bru-flavoured things, and then there are the cafés. There were so many to choose from but Millsy recommended a place called Ella’s. He must come here a lot when he visits Pitlochry because the ladies working there all recognised him. Then again, wherever Millsy goes, women pay attention to him.

  We looked over the menu and naturally I was drawn to the dessert items. I ordered a cup of tea as I ummed and ahhed over what to eat. Turns out, if you’re an indecisive eater, with a willing friend, you can order a dessert platter that features mini versions of each sweet treat: brownies, blondies, millionaire’s shortbread, chocolate crispies. The only possible downside is the impossibly romantic presentation of this heart-shaped platter. I do wonder how many girls Millsy has brought for one of these over the years but I honestly don’t care because I would sit down at that table and eat heart-shaped chocolate, with rose petals scattered around the table, with absolutely anyone just to eat it again. Not right now though. Right now, after putting away too much food, we’re walking it off.

  The scenery in Pitlochry isn’t limited to lochs and trees. Millsy took me to see Pitlochry Dam, which you can actually walk across and peep inside. At the other side there is a fish ladder – apparently the fish use it to travel upstream, up the River Tummel, but I can’t for the life of me figure out how just by looking at it, and I didn’t see any fish using it, hard as I tried.

  So now we’re just strolling along the edge of the river, chatting about anything and everything, taking the long route to the Co-op where Millsy wants to stop for supplies for tonight’s gathering. It’s weird but, if you’d told me a few weeks ago that I would be doing this now, I would have imagined it all feeling really awkward and forced. Somehow it just feels right.

  ‘So, what do you think of the house?’ he asks me.

  ‘It’s gorgeous. Absolutely stunning,’ I reply.

  ‘Yeah, Loch Tummel certainly puts the Leeds Liverpool Canal to shame,’ he says with a laugh. ‘Could you live somewhere like this?’

  ‘You know what? I don’t think I could. I think it’s too isolated for me. Isolated can be good but I work from home so… I’m imagining something like The Shining right now.’

  ‘The book or the movie?’ Millsy asks curiously.

  ‘That’s a very good question,’ I reply, excited that the conversation has gone in a direction that taps into something I feel passionate about. ‘The movie, one hundred per cent. I’m not worried about the place being haunted – it wouldn’t need to be. It’s the descent into madness that terrifies me. I do like the book, but I love the way the movie is a little more ambiguous. Is it haunted? Is he mad? And, oh my God, that maze. What I’d give for a go in that maze. Just, you know, preferably without the added pressure of my psycho dad chasing me with an axe. That would make one hell of an escape game though…’

  Millsy laughs.

  ‘I like that,’ he says. ‘My usual… the type of people I usually hang out with don’t want to chat about movies.’
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  ‘Do you want to star in movies?’ I ask curiously.

  Millsy often talks about his past theatre roles, but never about what he’s doing now. I doubt his theatre gigs made him enough money for him to live off for the rest of his life.

  ‘I’ve had… bits in movies,’ he tells me kind of vaguely. ‘But yes, I want to do more. My agent is currently working on some things. Watch this space.’

  I decide not to delve deeper. I get the feeling he’s telling me as much as he wants to.

  When we get to the supermarket Millsy leads me straight to the booze.

  ‘I know my dad has food covered but I thought I’d get some extra drinks, make sure there’s something you like.’

  ‘What does your gran like to drink? Perhaps I could take her some to go with her chocolates?’ I suggest.

  I didn’t know what to buy Iona for her birthday, having never met her, and I wanted it to be something I knew for sure that she would like, so Millsy helpfully steered me in the direction of her favourite sweet treat.

  ‘You know, not a very grandma drink, but she likes rum. My dad loves it too. Do you drink rum?’

  ‘I used to love it but, well, let’s just say there was a night out where I drank too much. I can’t stand the stuff now.’

  ‘That sounds like an interesting story,’ Millsy says. He claps his hands together excitedly, ready to listen.

  ‘Erm, it’s not, actually,’ I confess. ‘I just drank too much of it on a rare work night out and it made me feel so sick that I went right off it. I can’t stress enough how boring my life is – or at least it was until I started hanging around with you. I get into scrapes now – I never used to get into scrapes!’

  ‘We’re having fun though, right?’

  ‘We absolutely are,’ I reply.

  ‘Well, that’s all that matters,’ Millsy says. ‘I wonder what sort of trouble we can get ourselves into tonight.’

  He waggles his eyebrows playfully.

  ‘I have no idea,’ I say with a laugh. ‘But I’ll bet there’s something.’

  There’s always something these days.

  17

  Iona’s birthday dinner was an informal affair, with a buffet spread out across the large table, so that everyone could help themselves. Food ranged from classics, like cocktail sausages and cheese and pineapple on sticks, to local foods. The food Millsy hyped up the most beforehand was the ‘square sausage sandwiches’, which, for some reason, when I thought of them I imagined sort of rectangular sausages, rather than the slices of sausage loaf I was ultimately presented with. They were delicious though, in local bread, with ketchup. It was all really casual with the option to sit at the dining table or on the sofas. Now, all suitably stuffed, we’re all gathered around the table.

  After we give Iona her presents we’re going to move to the party room, where various relatives will be joining us. I asked Millsy who but, I suppose because they’re only his step-relatives that he never really sees, he doesn’t think he can confidently tell me who is who. I told him to pay attention when people introduce themselves to me, so that he can learn their names. He suggested I could just learn names for both of us but it’s not as if I’m going to be here next year to remind him, is it? Not unless I can somehow get Jay to fall head over heels in love with me. Not going to be easy when, despite my best efforts to insist nothing is going on, I’m sharing a bed with his brother.

  Iona was really happy with her chocolates and the bottle of rum I picked up in town. Millsy definitely steered me in the right direction.

  We’re currently sitting around the table still, waiting for Jay to return with his present. Apparently it’s in his car.

  ‘Notice how he says, “It’s in the Range”, rather than, “It’s in the car”,’ Millsy whispers to me. ‘And for someone so preoccupied with the environment, that’s not a very environmentally friendly car, is it?’

  ‘No, not like a convertible Mercedes,’ I reply through a smirk.

  ‘Erm, that’s a hire car,’ he reminds me. ‘And I only chose a convertible so you could make the most of the views while I was driving. The Mercedes was all they had left.’

  ‘Only teasing,’ I tell him with a friendly squeeze of his arm.

  Millsy is easily the most confident person I have ever met. He’s so outgoing, so sure of himself, so content with who he is… apart from when Jay is around. There’s something about Jay that gets to him, bringing out his insecurities, and I can tell that he’s trying to keep a lid on something. I suppose it must be difficult, having a stepbrother like Jay, when he appears to be the perfect man. That must be hard to compete with. I mean, take it from someone whose brother is a much better feminist than she is, you can’t help but measure yourself against your siblings. He may only be his stepbrother but that only seems to make their rivalry stronger.

  After a few minutes, Jay is back with a very large, beautifully wrapped present. I’d say it’s about up to my chest in height. It’s sitting on a little wooden board with wheels, to help him move it around. The present is wrapped in shiny gold paper with a large red ribbon tied around it.

  ‘Here we go, Gran,’ he announces.

  Iona jumps up excitedly.

  ‘Oh, Jay, you shouldn’t have,’ she insists, still with no idea what is inside.

  ‘It’s nothing you don’t deserve,’ he replies. ‘Go on, open it.’

  Iona gleefully tears away the wrapping paper to reveal a new armchair.

  ‘It’s an electric recliner,’ Jay tells her. ‘To replace your old one.’

  ‘Oh, Jay… Oh… Thank you,’ Iona gushes. ‘So thoughtful, thank you.’

  ‘Go on, then, try it out,’ Rod insists, jumping up to help Jay put it into place.

  ‘Oh, yes, lovely,’ Iona says as she makes herself comfortable in the cream leather chair.

  ‘These are the buttons to recline it,’ Jay says as he presses one.

  Everyone coos impressed sounds – everyone apart from Millsy, of course. I don’t think he’d let himself be impressed by anything Jay did. It does seem like a really thoughtful present though; Iona’s old chair was looking pretty tired.

  ‘Joe, why don’t you bring your present over to Gran, so she can stay in her chair?’ Jay suggests.

  ‘OK,’ Millsy replies through lightly gritted teeth.

  I watch as he pulls a gift bag from under the table. It seems so small, compared to a chair, but I’m sure he’s got her something awesome.

  Millsy hands Iona the bag, leaning forward to kiss her on the cheek.

  ‘Happy birthday, Gran,’ he says.

  ‘Aww, thank you, darling,’ she replies. ‘Let’s see what’s in here, shall we?’

  Millsy sits back down next to me. There’s a confident smile on his face. Whatever he’s got Iona, he thinks it’s going to kick the chair’s arse.

  As Iona carefully lifts the present out of the bag I narrow my eyes. Is that…?

  ‘Is that a Walking Dead box set?’ Jay blurts in disbelief.

  ‘It is,’ Millsy says.

  ‘What?’ Mhairi says, rushing over to inspect it. ‘Let me see.’

  ‘Did you think that was an appropriate present for an elderly lady?’ his dad asks him.

  ‘It isn’t at all – look at this box,’ Mhairi says with a look of disgust.

  ‘It’s not even the first season,’ Jay points out with a chuckle. ‘Did you just grab something you already owned?’

  ‘Oh, Joe, thank you,’ Iona says, snatching the boxes back from her daughter.

  ‘It’s the two most recent seasons,’ Millsy tells her.

  ‘Oh, you can’t imagine what it’s been like, after that season finale, wondering what happens next. I don’t like that Negan at all.’

  ‘Wait, you watch this?’ Mhairi asks. ‘My mum watches a zombie TV show?’

  ‘I certainly do,’ Iona insists. ‘I love it. Joe and I message each other about it.’

  ‘As soon as they get your high-speed broadband sorted, I’ll get you
set up so you can stream it, so you can keep up to date,’ Millsy tells her.

  ‘Oh, Joe, thank you so much,’ she says, getting up to give him a hug and a kiss. ‘I’d been so looking forward to everyone coming to visit. Now I can’t wait for everyone to go so I can watch these in peace.’

  Millsy laughs as he hugs her. Everyone else looks surprised. I’m surprised myself. Iona just keeps getting cooler and cooler. It’s lovely, how well Millsy knows her. His present to her is easily her favourite; she can’t hide it.

  Jay looks a little deflated.

  ‘And, of course, I can sit in my chair to watch it,’ Iona assures Jay. ‘Such lovely boys, thank you.’

  ‘I’m not sure you should be watching that, Mum. What if it scares you?’ Mhairi fusses.

  ‘Don’t be so daft,’ Iona says with a roll of her eyes. ‘Zombies aren’t real and, even if they are, I’m in the safest place. Hardly any people around here. I could row out to one of the islands in the loch – I’d be fine. Stop worrying.’

  I can’t help but laugh. Iona is brilliant. It’s easy to see why Millsy loves her.

  ‘Enough about zombies,’ Rob says. ‘The other guests will be here soon. Let’s move to the party room, shall we?’

  ‘Yeah, let’s,’ Jay agrees.

  I feel a little bit sorry for him; he seems a little put out by Millsy’s gift. Well, imagine spending so much money on something, only to be upstaged by DVDs. Both are incredibly thoughtful gifts though and I’m sure she’ll make good use of them.

  ‘How cool is it that your gran watches The Walking Dead?’ I say to Millsy as we head downstairs.

  ‘Yeah, she’s awesome,’ he replies. ‘She watched Breaking Bad, Game of Thrones – the works. This lot treat her like a bit of an old dear sometimes but she’s so cool.’

  My gran might seem young for her age but there is no way on earth you would be able to convince her to watch all the stabbing and shagging that goes on in Game of Thrones. Not in a million years. She’s a Downton Abbey and a cup of tea kind of lady.