Victorious, a Tame Quantum Novel

by Marie Force

  “I was going to ask if you wanted me to see about getting him a lawyer.”

  “No. He’s on his own. He’s made his choices, and now he can live with them. I don’t want anything to do with him or what he did.”

  “Whatever you want, sweetheart. I’m following your lead. What about your mom?”

  “What about her?”

  “I wondered if you might want to see her now that you’re back in touch with your sisters.”

  “I’ve thought about that, about her, and I have to admit that it hurt me all over again to hear she’d finally left my dad when she couldn’t bring herself to do that when I needed her most. Since I’m back in touch with the girls and I intend to be fully present in their lives, I suppose I’ll run into her at some point, but I can’t imagine ever having a close relationship with her.”

  “I can totally see where you’re coming from. She had her chance to step up for you and she didn’t.”

  “No, she didn’t, and there’s no way she can ever truly fix that as far as I’m concerned.” I link my fingers with his. “I want you to know… If something like this, my dad killing David, had happened before this, before us, it would’ve set me back again to day one, but I’m stronger now than I’ve ever been, and it’s because of you.”

  “No, baby, it’s because of you. You’re the strongest person I’ve ever known.”

  “Our love has made me stronger than I was alone. And it’s made me happier than I ever could’ve imagined being.”

  “Me, too.”

  “Thank you for chasing after me the day Fluff bit you.”

  “Thanks for turning around, for giving me a chance.”

  I smile at him, madly in love and free from the past. “As if I ever had a choice.”

  “The choice has always been yours, sweetheart.”

  “I choose you. I choose us.”

  He wraps his arms around me and kisses me. “I’ll always choose you, too.”

  Safe and secure in his arms, I feel like I can take on the world and win every time.

  Epilogue

  It’s been a very good night for Quantum Productions. Jasper has just won the Academy Award for cinematography for his work on Camouflage, and now we’re waiting for the Best Director award to be announced.

  Hayden brought Addie as his date, a development Flynn and I have been whispering about all night. Addie told Flynn it was so she could be here for his big night, but we don’t think that’s the only reason.

  My husband leans in to whisper in my ear. “I think she’s holding his hand over there.”

  “I’m more excited about that than I am about the awards.”

  He smiles at me and drops something into my hand.

  I look down to see the red ribbon we played with in Mexico, and my entire body ignites at the memory of it wrapped around my wrists as he had his wicked way with me. I’ve become more comfortable with being bound and I hope one day to be able to play in the room in the basement. But Flynn says it will be a while before I’m ready for that kind of bondage. That’s okay. We’ve got all the time in the world to get there together.

  “It matches your dress.”

  I’ve worn a red Givenchy gown for his big night because he loves me in red. “What am I to do with this?” I ask, full of mock innocence.

  He winks at me. “Keep it handy for later.”

  The epiphany I had in Mexico about the kind of sex I have with Flynn being nothing at all like what my attacker did to me has helped to free me from the shackles of the past.

  I don’t worry anymore about triggers or flashbacks. I’ve battled through and found my way to the other side. I’m able to separate everything that happens with my beloved husband from what happened long ago to the girl I once was.

  I’m a woman now, a woman in love with the most extraordinary man, and he has shown me the limitless possibilities of our love. I want to soar to the heavens with him as my guide and companion. I want to fully experience everything this life has to offer us. I’ve been to hell and back, and I survived. I’m not afraid anymore.

  My father has been formally charged with the murder of David Rogers. After we released our statement to the media, they’ve mostly left us alone. The fact that my father and I have been out of touch for most of a decade put a damper on the story as far as the Hollywood press is concerned. I’m sure it’s a big story in Nebraska. It’s not a big story in LA, and I’ve chosen to keep my distance from it. I’ve encouraged my sisters, who are here with us tonight, to do the same.

  They are sitting somewhere toward the back of the huge ballroom with Flynn’s family. I had the time of my life getting ready with them earlier, sharing my excitement and pride in my husband with the two people I love most—after Flynn and Fluff, of course.

  When Hayden’s name is called for the directing award, we rise to our feet to cheer for him. He kisses Addie square on the lips in front of everyone before heading to the stage to accept his award.

  Tears stream down Addie’s face as she watches him. Her stunned expression upon receiving that kiss is priceless.

  Flynn and I exchange a smile. He’s so happy tonight, and I love to see him sharing in this special moment with his closest friends.

  “Thank you so much to the Academy,” Hayden says once the roar of the crowd dies down. “Camouflage was a very special project for all of us, and to see it recognized with these awards tonight is the greatest thrill of my life. I have so many people to thank, including the entire team at Quantum, all of my friends and family who supported me during the making of this film, and our amazing cast, headlined by the one and only Flynn Godfrey, who gave the gutsiest performance of his career as Jeremy. To the movie-going public that fully embraced Jeremy’s story and, by extension, the stories of all our injured servicemen and women… Thank you for letting them know you care, that you remember, that you appreciate the many sacrifices military members and their families make for all of us.” He holds up the gold statue. “Thank you again for this incredible honor.”

  By the time Hayden leaves the stage, I’m mopping up tears from his heartfelt acceptance speech. Addie, Marlowe and I are all a hot mess, which makes the guys laugh.

  After an endless commercial break, the show continues with the Best Actress award, which goes to an old friend of Flynn’s. He’s delighted for her, but he’s grasping my hand because it’s finally time for his category.

  Last year’s actress winner takes the stage to announce the nominees for Best Actor in a Leading Role. Clips from each actor’s performance are played as their names are read. Flynn appears in a scene from the hospital, half his face burned as he talks another injured warrior out of giving up on his recovery. It is among the most powerful moments in the film, and the crowd in the Dolby Theater gives the scene a huge round of applause.

  “And the Oscar goes to… Flynn Godfrey.”

  For a brief second, it’s just him and me, caught together in this moment in time, disbelief and amazement reflected in his gorgeous eyes. Then he leans in to kiss me before standing to accept hugs and congratulations from his producing partners and closest friends.

  Everyone around us is in tears as we stand and cheer for Flynn.

  He goes up the stairs to the stage and accepts the award, hugging the actress who presented it before turning to face the crowd. It takes another full minute for the applause to die down. In that time, Max and Stella appear on one of the screens, both of them smiling and crying and on their feet, applauding for their son.

  I hope he’s able to see them from his vantage point on the stage.

  “Thank you so much. Thank you.” He glances down at the gold statue in his hand. “Wow. I thought I knew what this might feel like, but apparently, I had no clue. Thank you to the Academy and to everyone involved in the making of Camouflage. We knew from the first time we read the script that this would be a special project. We had no idea how special it would become to all of us, and I’m deeply thankful to the Academy for this award as well a
s the others you’ve bestowed upon the film tonight. You all know it’s been a wild couple of months for me professionally and personally. I want to thank my friends and colleagues in this room for your unwavering support during the tough times. I’ve seen the heart of this community more in the last few weeks than I have in my entire career before now, and I’m deeply appreciative. To my beautiful, courageous, incredible wife, Natalie, I thank you for showing me what’s really important in this life. I love you so much, sweetheart.” He raises his award over his head. “Thank you again.”

  I love that he used the word incredible. Our word. I love that he called me sweetheart for the whole world to hear. He dodges the ushers who want him to head backstage and comes down the stairs to sweep me up into his arms. He’s still holding me when Camouflage wins the award for best picture. Flynn and most of our friends take the stage to receive their awards for producing the film.

  As executive producer, Kristian speaks for all of them. “Like Hayden said earlier, it’s been a once-in-a-career honor to bring this special story to life. I know I speak for everyone at Quantum and everyone involved with the film when I say none of us will ever forget this moment. Thank you to the Academy for your recognition of Camouflage, and to our servicemen and women, past, present and future. You have our undying respect and admiration. Thank you again.”

  There are photos to be taken, interviews to be given and parties to attend. But after the show ends, Flynn comes down from the stage, an Oscar in each hand, and heads right to me. I wrap my arms around him and hold on tight. We are indeed victorious.

  Keep reading for a sneak peek of Rapturous, A Tame Quantum Novel, Hayden and Addie’s story!

  * * *

  The story begun in the initial Quantum Trilogy picks up on Oscar night after Academy Award-winning director Hayden Roth kisses the woman he desires above all others, even though he knows she can never be his. Addison York craves her boss’s best friend, Hayden, but he has never given her an ounce of encouragement—until tonight when he kissed her after winning the Oscar. Was that kiss the start of something or another in a long line of frustrations where Hayden is concerned? Something is keeping him from acting on the attraction that simmers between them, and Addie is determined to find out what it is. But when she stumbles upon the secret that Hayden, Flynn and her other close friends have kept from her, will she allow hurt feelings to get in the way of true love? When Hayden won’t share his BDSM lifestyle with her, Addie decides to conduct her own research. Will she be intrigued or repulsed? And what will Hayden do when he finds out how she’s been spending her evenings?

  * * *

  Keep reading for a sneak peek at Addie and Hayden’s story Rapturous!

  CHAPTER 1

  Camouflage cleaned up at the Oscars, and Hayden Roth kissed me. I’m not sure which is a bigger deal. We’re surrounded by Oscar gold. Hayden won for Best Director, Flynn for Best Actor, Jasper for cinematography and all the Quantum principals for producing the year’s Best Picture. They’re euphoric as they celebrate at one party after another. But all I can think about is that when Hayden won, he kissed me—and he kissed me like he meant it.

  He kissed me the way I’ve wanted him to for almost as long as I’ve known him, which is going on ten years now. That’s how long I’ve wanted him. At times, and never more so than when he kissed me earlier, I’ve suspected he wants me, too, but neither of us has ever given in to the attraction that simmers between us.

  It could be because I work for Flynn, Hayden’s best friend and business partner, as well as Hayden and the other Quantum principals. Or maybe he thinks I’m too young for him, although six years isn’t that big of a deal. It’s not like I’m seventeen. I’m twenty-seven and fully grown, but I fear he thinks of me as the little girl I once was and not the woman I’ve become.

  Flynn’s wife, Natalie, puts her arm around my shoulders and gives me a squeeze. “Having fun?”

  “Absolutely. You?”

  “Best night ever. They’re so happy.”

  “Flynn is flying high because you’re here, not because of the Oscars.” The two of them are wildly in love, and though I’m thrilled for my friend and boss, I’m envious, too. I want that. I want the connection they have, and I want it with a man who is perpetually unavailable to me.

  “I’m so glad he won,” Natalie says. “He deserves it.”

  “Yes, he does.” Flynn’s fearless, gutsy performance as a severely injured veteran has been the talk of the award season this year, with a clean sweep at the Golden Globes, SAGs, BAFTAs and now the Oscars.

  Hayden deserves a big chunk of the credit as the director who’d coaxed that gutsy performance from his best friend. The two of them are gold together, as evidenced tonight and over the last couple of months.

  We’re crammed into a booth at the Vanity Fair party. Hayden is on one side of me, Natalie on the other. The heat of his leg pressed against mine has my full attention, whereas Natalie’s leg on the other side doesn’t do a thing for me, as much as I adore her.

  No, Hayden is the one I want, in all his complicated, maddening, sexy, frustrating glory. It has occurred to me often during the years I’ve nursed this impossible crush that I could’ve chosen a far simpler man to worship from afar. I could’ve chosen a man who isn’t my boss’s best friend and business partner, two things that put me more or less off-limits to him. I could’ve chosen a man with fewer sharp angles and rough edges.

  I’m a smart woman, and I’m well aware this fixation I have on such a difficult man isn’t healthy for me. Tell that to the heart that does backflips and handsprings any time he’s in the room, let alone wedged up against me, radiating the kind of heat that has me fantasizing about being naked in a bed with him.

  I don’t care if it’s not in my best interest to want him. I don’t care that Flynn probably wouldn’t approve or that Hayden is more secretive than the CIA when it comes to his private life. I don’t care that my dad can’t stand him or that many of the people who work for him live in fear of his unpredictable rages. I don’t care that his family is one of Hollywood’s most dysfunctional—and that’s saying something in this town.

  None of that matters. I want him, and after the way he kissed me tonight, I’m on fire with desire and determination. Tonight is the night. When he takes me home later, I’m going to make my move and to hell with the fallout. I’m sick and tired of wishing for something and not doing a damned thing to get what I want. It’s time to put up or shut up.

  I groan at my own cliché-ridden thoughts, but this situation has become one giant, ridiculous cliché. If he doesn’t want me the way I want him, then why would he kiss me like a lover when he won the Oscar?

  As if he can read my thoughts, Hayden turns away from the conversation he’s been having with Jasper to smile at me. Although, to call the subtle movement of his lips a smile is giving it far too much credit. It’s more like a cocky smirk than an actual smile.

  “You okay?” he asks, his usually cold blue eyes gone warm with what might be affection.

  I have to resist the urge to sigh with the pleasure of having his undivided attention. “I am. You?”

  “Never better,” he says with an honest, genuine smile, so rare and so fleeting that I wish I could get a photo of it before it disappears.

  “I’m so thrilled for you guys. I know how hard you worked on Camouflage. You deserve all the awards and accolades.”

  “Thank you. I’m rather thrilled myself.”

  Hayden is a complicated mix of brilliant and moody, driven and ambitious, ruthless and loyal. To see euphoria creep into that mix of intense qualities fills me with an unreasonable amount of happiness on his behalf. He works so hard and rarely takes the time to enjoy his success.

  In the tight confines of the booth, he somehow manages to raise his arm and lay it across the back of the banquette. One small move, and that arm could be around me.

  I squirm slightly, enough to press against him, jarring his arm. It falls to my shoulders, a
nd I venture a glance at him, surprised to see heat and desire in his eyes that only add to my determination.

  The poor bastard has no idea what he’s in for.

  I’m dying a slow, miserable, painful death jammed into this fucking booth with Addie’s sweet body squeezed against me, my cock as hard as a freaking rock for her and not a goddamned thing I can do about it. I can’t believe I kissed her when my name was called earlier. I didn’t plan to do that. In fact, I actively planned not to do anything inappropriate where she’s concerned tonight.

  Flynn asked me to bring her as my date so she could share in the celebration we expected for Camouflage. I agreed because he’s right—she deserves to be here after the way she supported our entire team during the grueling shoot.

  If I’m being honest, I wanted her here for me, too. I like to look at her. I love to breathe in her sexy, alluring scent and fantasize about burying my face in her thick blond hair while I fuck her. I want to lose myself in her and never come up for air.

  But I won’t. I won’t lay a finger on her, as much as it kills me to resist an urge that seems to multiply exponentially every time I’m around her.

  I avoid complications the way some people avoid germs. Everything about my obsession with Addison York is complicated. Other than the fact that Flynn would fucking kill me if I so much as look at her cross-eyed—and that’s not an insignificant other than—she deserves much better than me.

  She should be cherished, not tied in my web of ropes and fucked to within an inch of her life, which is exactly what would happen if I ever let my inner beast run free with her. That’s not going to happen.