No, what was so striking about Dustin was the way he held himself. He leaned forward like he was perpetually ready to move, his posture just a bit too straight and intentional. It made Landon want to crawl under the table at his feet.
Instead, Landon settled into his chair, “accidentally” brushing their arms together. He really wanted to touch him more, wanted to feel the warmth of his skin without both of their shirts between them.
Dustin looked over at Landon for a second, a mixture of arousal and threat on his face, then went back to Ash's story. Was Dustin actually ignoring him, or was he playing too?
After a moment, Landon reached over and stole one of Dustin’s fries. He made sure to slather it in plenty of ketchup from Dustin’s plate, stretching out the action, and then popped it in his mouth.
Dustin was watching his lips, and Landon felt warm everywhere.
Did you want some of my fries? he signed.
Landon nodded.
Ask. He looked a little dangerous. And sexy.
Landon lowered his head, making his body meek as he looked up at Dustin. May I please have some of your fries? Damn, that felt good. That had to be the sexiest un-sexy thing he’d ever said, but the chemistry crackled between them.
Go ahead. Dustin pushed over the plate with a few remaining bites of a burger, a limp piece of neglected lettuce, and about a dozen lukewarm fries. But Dustin’s indulgently amused look made him feel like he’d won a prize.
Ash caught his glance and raised a subtle eyebrow. Landon shrugged with the barest movement of his shoulder. Ash gave the faintest twitch of an eye roll.
They weren’t close friends, but he’d chatted with Ash enough at the munches to know what they were thinking. Maybe it was the universal language of subs, he thought with amusement.
Yes, Landon was chasing shamelessly after another man who would lose interest in him after a night or two. And yes, he was damn well allowed to do it because he was an adult and it was his choice.
He wrinkled his nose, glaring at Ash in mock aggression. Ash drew back infinitesimally, as though denying his accusation.
Something you two want to share? Dustin interjected.
No, they both signed together, giggling.
Dustin gave them both another harsh look, but he didn’t seem to actually be angry. He also ate every one of the fries that Landon flirtatiously offered him from his own fresh order.
After the munch, of course Bruce needed to remind him of his schedule so that Landon could take over the group’s emails while he was on vacation. Then there was a new sub who wanted some resources. When he looked around again Dustin was gone.
“Sorry, I’ve got to run,” he said to the new sub, abruptly. “Email me if you have any questions and hopefully we’ll see you next month!”
Then he was tearing around the corner to the parking lot. Dustin was already getting into his car.
“Dustin!” he yelled. He could hear his own voice a little, conducted through the bones of his jaw. He wasn’t sure what Dustin could hear, especially since he’d noticed that he wore ear plugs.
Dustin looked around and then stood up. Thank goodness.
Again? he asked from across the parking lot, the fingers of one hand meeting the other palm in an exaggerated arc.
Sorry, Landon signed. I thought you would wait.
Dustin looked at him curiously. All you had to do was ask.
Oh, right. Sorry. I just… got so caught up in the flirting that I forgot. But he couldn’t say that. I just had to talk to a lot of people afterward.
Something flashed across Dustin’s eyes. Pride? It couldn’t be pride. You’re very popular. And I can see that you’re a good resource to them.
It was a compliment, and Landon wanted to preen, even if it wasn’t quite the type of compliment that he was angling for.
Do you want to come over tonight? he asked directly.
Dustin pulled back a fraction. Was he actually surprised? For what?
Landon put on his flirtiest smile. Sex? It was better to be direct. He knew that Dustin was still trying to figure out if he was into kink, but surely they could hook up. There was definitely something there between them that deserved some exploration.
Dustin looked concerned, or maybe indecisive. Dammit. Had Landon read him all wrong? Now that Landon was worried about being turned down, he realized how much he’d been hoping for this.
It wasn’t just that Dustin was a sexy Deaf guy. Or that he had all of the markings of a spectacular Dom from the little bit Landon had seen while they were flirting. He was also kind and funny and seemed to appreciate talking to Landon instead of just trying to get into his pants. Landon had felt a little glow when he got those three silly texts thanking him for the resources. That was fucking rare.
Getting turned down now was going to suck, even though he’d only been looking for an evening together. Landon wrapped his arms around his chest, trying to play things off like he didn’t care, but actually feeling like he needed a shield. He hated feeling insecure.
Finally, Dustin responded. I don’t usually do one-night stands.
What? You can’t tell me you don’t fuck, Landon replied in exaggerated surprise. Unlike in English, there were no gentle euphemisms for sleeping with someone, unless you literally meant sleeping beside them. “Sex” was two bodies crashing together, legs spread. Fucking.
Dustin looked amused. I didn’t say I never fuck. I’ve been in three long-term relationships. I’ve even dated sometimes. I just don’t usually do one-night stands and that seems to be what you’re interested in.
Oh, right. Of course one-night stands weren’t the only way that people had sex. They were just the only way that Landon had sex.
He’d tried relationships in college and grad school and now he was done. Whatever fucked-up impulse made him want to chase after people like a puppy looking for affection only left him feeling more abandoned, and he wasn’t going to put himself through it again. He knew he was probably attracted to the wrong people, since he was always looking for something that wasn’t there, and that was why it was easier to keep it casual.
That pathetic, rejected kid wasn’t who he wanted to be.
Was Dustin judging him now? There’s nothing wrong with one-night stands, he added, trying to look calm and sex-positive, not defensive.
Now Dustin looked really amused. What was so funny? There’s nothing wrong with one-night stands. They’re just not really my speed.
So did that mean that Dustin was turning him down? After all of that flirting? Landon was starting to feel a little fragile, and that wasn’t who he wanted to be. He’d obviously been turned down before, just not by someone who lit him up like this and watched his every move.
But... maybe he could have something with Dustin in another way, not a one-night stand, but with some clearly defined boundaries. There weren’t that many Deaf Doms, and Dustin just got under his skin somehow.
What if it’s not a one-night stand? he suggested. I mean, the offer from last time is still open if you’d like someone to train you. I think that we have a lot of chemistry. There are some more advanced things that you should only work on when you’re working with both a mentor and a sub, there are some other things that you could explore with me.
There, that could be fun for both of them. He liked being a support within the community, and he liked Dustin. They could have some fun times together and then both move on without any hard feelings.
Dustin looked a little nervous, which was good for a Dom to acknowledge, really. It would be gratifying to help him with that, let him get over his worries and watch him grow into more confidence so that he was ready for Escape or a relationship or something.
Landon put his hand on Dustin’s chest, bending his head down so that he could look up at him seductively. He’d practiced this pose a lot. He knew how it affected Doms to see him that way, tall and strong but still showing his submission. This was something he was good at, and it might help Dustin feel a litt
le better about making the choice.
Dustin gently lifted Landon’s hand from his chest. Was that a no? But he still held it, his thumb slipping under Landon’s palm, his fingers cradled around the outside. It made shivers run down his spine as Dustin played with that small area that had now become delightfully sensitive.
That was really sweet. Like something a boyfriend would do. Landon would definitely need to be on his guard if he didn’t want to end up catching emotions.
Landon knew he tended to throw himself after people, even when he knew it wasn’t going to work out, so he would have to keep anything that they did professional. He pulled his hand back to sign, but it still burned where they had touched.
So, is that a yes? Landon asked, hopefully. I would be happy to teach you. We could try out one or two techniques, answer some of your questions, and help you see if this is something you want to do more of.
Dustin gazed over his shoulder for a minute, then seemed to come to a decision. Yes. I would be honored, actually. I’m free tonight, if that still works for you, so just send me your address and a time. Should I pick up dinner?
Now that they were doing a “lesson,” Landon didn’t want to get confused. This wasn’t a date and he didn’t want Dustin to think that it was. No need. I should have some time available at 7:30.
Oh, do you already have dinner plans? Should we choose some other night?
Oops. Now he felt backed into a corner. He should have just said what time he wanted to meet without making it sound like he was busy. I’m seeing my sister and her kids, he explained, internally planning right now to do that so he wasn’t lying. I’ll eat an early dinner and be back home by then.
That brought a genuine smile to Dustin’s face. Was he just excited that their date was still on? Or maybe he liked the idea of family? Not that it mattered if he did.
Alright, 7:30. Text me your address.
Dustin grabbed Landon’s hand and brushed his lips to his knuckles. It sent a shiver all through Landon’s body and made his chest feel kind of warm. Who did that?
Fortunately, they’d be able to focus on training this evening. Landon would keep things professional, Dustin would hopefully stop looking so nervous and get to try something, and they could both enjoy themselves.
Landon waved a perky goodbye before getting in his car. He’d see Maggie and the kids today, then have a fun evening. Life was pretty good.
Chapter 4
Dustin
Dustin pulled into a parking spot just past the trim little apartment building where Landon lived. He could feel his hands shaking and willed himself to stop. He’d mostly been alright during the afternoon, distracting himself by getting some work done, but now he was freaking out.
He liked being in control of his life. He liked knowing what was going to happen next, and how it was going to happen.
Landon was a complete unknown. A yawning abyss of possibilities, simultaneously alluring and terrifying.
He sat in his car for a moment, trying to wrestle the tornado of information from all of the blogs and articles that Landon had sent him into some sort of order. He knew that Landon would be teaching him, but what if he got in over his head?
God, he hoped Landon was prepared for dealing with all of his confusion. Having a teacher, who was a confident Dom as well as a sub, wasn’t nearly as comforting as it should have been. He felt a little bit like he would be tested at the end.
Instead of looking forward to a spontaneous evening of discovering things together, he felt the same anxiety churning in his gut that he always got before a big exam.
What if Landon wanted him to tie him up? How would he know if the ropes were too tight? Could he remember how to make the knots that would release quickly? Or maybe there would be scissors. Landon would remember scissors, right?
That made him worry about Landon wanting something that he hadn’t read about. Like… he couldn’t think of anything. Peeing on him? People really did that. And were there safe and unsafe ways to do that?
Or what if Landon wanted to be hit? He mentally reviewed the maps that he’d seen online, showing the safe zones on someone’s body. Yes, he could picture them. Though it probably felt different with a real person.
And what if he did it too hard? What if he hit Landon too hard, and he used his safewords, but Dustin didn’t understand him because of his stupid brain, and then he actually hurt him?
That was his deepest fear.
He still wasn’t quite sure that all of this was real. That Landon could actually want something like that. Or that Dustin would be able to do it to him once he found out what he wanted.
He worried even more that it was all real, and that after he got a little taste of it, he’d never be able to go back to vanilla relationships again. Which he would have to if he was a crappy Dom.
He wondered if Landon would laugh at him if he saw him like this, shaking in his shoes in fear of hitting someone. It sounded bizarre when he said it that way. He could understand someone being afraid of being hit. But being afraid of hitting someone else?
His phone chimed with a text.
Landon: I forgot to tell you my apartment number LOL. It’s 4C.
Well, it looked like this was it. He reminded himself that he wanted to explore this, and that he had to start somewhere. He could only hope that he didn’t fuck it up.
Dustin: Thanks. Parking now.
Dustin mentally composed himself as he entered the building. This didn’t just have to be about sex. Or a “scene” or whatever it was called. And it wasn’t quite like it was a first date. They’d already spent a lot of time talking at the two munches.
This was a lesson. Maybe even just talking. So that he could figure out what he liked and how to do it and then do better the next time.
Of course, Landon was so vibrant and outgoing and sexy that he’d never settle for someone like Dustin. Dustin was lucky to get a little bit of time with him now.
He fidgeted with his pockets outside Landon’s door. It felt like he was in some movie, about to open a door to the unknown. Heaven. Hell. The Lady or the Tiger. The Twilight Zone. Once he entered, he’d be cast into some other dimension where all of the rules were different, and he’d become another person.
He drew in a deep breath and gave three sharp knocks even though there was a good chance Landon couldn’t hear them.
While he waited, he kept planning. He would follow Landon’s lead. Maybe sit and have something to drink. Or look around his apartment and discuss Landon’s books or DVDs or art. Surely, they would have something in common.
He didn’t want things to be awkward, so he went through conversations in his head. He could ask about organizing the munches. He could ask about Landon’s students, or the new unit he’d been planning the last time they met. Maybe the thing with Landon’s job, since that had sounded like something he might want to discuss with a friend.
All of that fell apart the moment Landon opened the door.
He was wearing a tiny pair of shimmery blue briefs and a smile. He looked confident and relaxed as he pulled back the door and wordlessly invited Dustin in.
And all of that skin… He was golden and perfect. Smooth, long lines and subtle, firm muscles. Dusky pink nipples and a trail of dark hair down his soft abdomen that invited Dustin’s touch.
After a moment, Dustin finally managed to wave hello.
With a smirk, Landon returned the greeting. He clearly knew what effect he was having and reveled in it. He was gorgeous, and as Dustin had always known, completely out of his league.
It struck Dustin again how inexperienced he was. How Landon must do this all the time. Maybe every weekend. Or more often.
Landon moved languorously toward the couch, his pert ass popping in those tiny briefs. His blond hair waved gently as he moved, and Dustin realized for the first time that it must be dyed. It fit his attention-seeking personality as well as drawing attention to his sharp facial features.
Haltingly, Dustin clos
ed the apartment door and walked over to the couch. Landon was stretched out seductively over more than half of it, and Dustin wasn’t sure that he could share it. He chose the armchair instead, knowing that he looked foolish but not quite ready to make that move.
Like what you see? Landon asked. Dustin remembered that he’d asked that the first time they met. He wondered if he asked people that a lot. Clearly, he must. The question drew attention to his gorgeous body and didn’t seem to require an answer. So Dustin didn’t answer, still trying to compose himself. Probably for too long.
And then he saw it. Just the tiniest slip of that practiced, easy smile. The smallest tightening around his eyes.
Landon was nervous, too.
Dustin wasn’t sure what made him do it, but he wanted to see more of that vulnerability. He forced himself to wait even longer, face blank.
Landon’s fingers twitched. Then he rearranged himself on the couch. To anybody else, he might still look relaxed and open, with one ankle crossed over the opposite knee and his hands loose in his lap. But he had drawn in on himself, protecting his vulnerable parts.
Dustin didn’t quite understand it, but he felt a little more confident now. It was partially that he was on a more even playing field with his new teacher.
But he also seemed to get something deeper out of seeing Landon unsettled. Incongruously, it made him feel protective. It was like two forces battling inside him, but he couldn’t figure out how they fit together.
Ideas slipped through his mind and then away. He wanted Landon unsettled for him. He just wasn’t sure why yet. Was this thrilling, squirmy, protective feeling what D/s was actually about?
And if so, could he have more of it?
You’re gorgeous, he finally responded.
Landon acted as though he’d expected that answer. But his arms were looser now, his shoulders more relaxed. Dustin thought he could become addicted to that effect.
Dustin, of course, was still sitting rigidly in his chair. He found it difficult to relax in general, and definitely not in new or difficult situations. He’d been told that he looked stern and closed off. Threatening, even. His exes had said that it took a while to see beyond it. But he was pretty sure that Landon appreciated it.
Love Lessons (Love Language Book 2) Page 6
