Love at First Fight

by Mary Jayne Baker

  ‘Here you go,’ he said, presenting Joanna with a glass of champagne. He was about to sit down in the armchair when she patted the seat next to her on the sofa.

  ‘No need for you to sit so far away, babes,’ she said with a broad smile. ‘We did share a bed for quite a long time, in case you’d forgotten.’

  ‘Er, no. I hadn’t.’ He hesitated a moment before sitting beside her, trying to keep a bit of distance between them on the two-seater sofa. ‘So, um… what was the gig then?’

  ‘Sorry?’

  ‘The speaking gig you came up for.’

  ‘Oh, that. Just a trade conference I was asked to address. Huge bore, but the money was good.’ She glanced at him. ‘Are you still at that garage?’

  ‘That’s right. I run the place now.’

  ‘Oh, well done you,’ she said, patting his arm. ‘I knew you were destined for big things one day.’

  OK. Did she mean that to sound patronising, or was she genuinely trying to pay a compliment? It was hard to tell with Joanna. Everything she said was in that same soft purr, the tone giving nothing away.

  ‘Thanks,’ he said. ‘I guess life’s pretty different for you these days, right? You’ve certainly come a long way from the make-up counter at John Lewis.’

  She smiled. ‘I forgot that’s where I was working when we met. Feels like a lifetime ago, doesn’t it?’

  ‘It was a lifetime ago.’ Cal awkwardly sipped his champagne, hoping it wouldn’t make him belch. ‘Um, so, what happened to Conrad?’

  ‘He got a better offer,’ Joanna said, smiling a little sadly. ‘The wrap party for this thing he’s been filming. To be honest, I was glad I had an excuse not to go. I know they look down on me, all his friends from the TV world.’

  ‘Really? Why?’

  ‘They never say anything, but it’s as if… as if acting’s a legitimate talent, whereas as far as they’re concerned I’m just some glorified face painter.’

  ‘But make-up’s a skill too. You’d think people in film and TV would appreciate that.’

  ‘Mmm, you’d think. Funnily enough, the set make-up lady rarely gets invited to the wrap party.’

  A painful silence settled on them. Cal fiddled self-consciously with the stem of his glass.

  ‘Sorry you won’t get to meet Hat after all,’ he said finally. ‘She’s supervising a Duke of Edinburgh expedition with school.’

  ‘That’s a shame. Another time, maybe.’ Joanna was quiet for a moment, staring into her glass, before suddenly bursting into laughter. ‘Oh God, Cal.’

  He blinked. ‘What’s funny?’

  ‘We are. Sitting here all awkward, like we didn’t share our lives for nearly a year. Honestly, this is so silly.’

  He laughed too, relaxing slightly. ‘I guess it is a bit.’

  ‘There’s loads I want to talk to you about. I was thinking about it all the way up here. I suppose it’s just been so long, we’ve gone all shy.’ She rested a hand briefly on his knee. ‘Hey, you remember that summer we were flat broke and we hitch-hiked down to Southport with our last £50 for a weekend break?’

  Cal smiled. ‘Course I do. It rained the whole time we were there.’

  ‘We had plenty of fun staying in though, didn’t we? I’m surprised the B&B didn’t fine us for disturbing the other guests.’

  ‘I remember.’ He sighed. ‘It feels so long ago.’

  ‘Hang on. I’ll top us up.’

  She stood up to fetch the bottle from the kitchen and refilled their glasses, then sat back down a little closer to him.

  ‘You ever miss it?’ she asked.

  ‘What?’

  ‘Being young. No responsibilities. I can’t imagine trying to hitch-hike today, when so many people know my face.’

  Cal took a sip of his refreshed champagne. He wasn’t used to drinking fizzy stuff and it was going to his head a bit, making him feel woozy, but the alcohol was definitely helping his nerves. ‘God, yes. All the time.’

  ‘Who’d have thought we’d ever get this old, eh? Proper jobs, husbands, wives…’

  ‘I know. I don’t feel any older inside.’ He smiled. ‘Still, I can’t wait to spend my life with Hat. Have kids with her. The next stage is pretty terrifying but it’s exciting too.’

  He looked up at Joanna when she didn’t say anything. ‘What about you and Conrad? Think you’ll start a family?’

  ‘We can’t,’ she said quietly, breaking eye contact. ‘Conrad’s… he’s not able to.’

  ‘Oh, Jo, I’m sorry. I should never have opened my big mouth.’ Cal hesitated, then squeezed her hand. ‘What about adoption? Is that an option for you?’

  ‘Conrad isn’t interested. If he can’t have his own then he’d rather focus on his career, he says.’

  ‘But you feel differently.’

  ‘What does it matter if I do?’ Joanna said. ‘That’s what Conrad wants, so… that’s that. I knew the state of play when I agreed to marry him.’

  Joanna had taken hold of his hand when he’d reached out to squeeze hers, and Cal didn’t pull it away.

  ‘You are happy though?’ he said. ‘You love the guy, right?’

  Joanna shrugged. ‘I do, but…’ She trailed off into a sigh. ‘I wonder, sometimes, how my life might’ve been different if it hadn’t gone down this route. If I’d have been happier just being an ordinary schmuck, like you and Hattie.’

  Cal laughed. ‘Thanks.’

  ‘Hey, that’s a compliment,’ she said, smiling. ‘You don’t know how lucky you are, babes. I’d kill to go out and not be recognised, or go to a party where I don’t get sneered at by “proper” celebrities who think I’m a fraud. Some nights I dream of those days when we were together, eating chips out of the paper and sharing a can of Tizer. The ordinary things I never thought I’d miss.’

  ‘I thought you loved that lifestyle. Mansions, swimming pools, all that stuff. You told me you dreamed of a life like that.’

  ‘Course I did. When we met I was living in a back-to-back in Leeds, surviving on beans on toast.’ She sighed. ‘And now I spend all my time dreaming of that life I used to have. Ironic, isn’t it? I never realised wealth and fame came at such a high price.’ She pressed his hand and let it drop so she could pour them another drink from the bottle at her feet. ‘Where do you think we’d be now, Cal? If we hadn’t broken up, I mean.’

  ‘Well not hitch-hiking to Southport,’ Cal said, laughing.

  ‘Why did we split up anyway?’

  He shrugged. ‘You got offered a job in Liverpool. I wanted to stay here. Just one of those things.’

  ‘Do you think we’d have stayed together if I hadn’t?’

  ‘I don’t know, Jo,’ Cal said, gazing into his glass. ‘It was fun while it lasted, but we grew up into pretty different people, don’t you think?’

  ‘It was fun, wasn’t it?’ Joanna said, her eyes clouding with nostalgia. ‘We went well together. In the bedroom, at least.’

  She was closer to him now. Cal could feel her body pressing against his side while they talked: feel the warmth of it, and smell the slightly sickly scent of her expensive perfume. Hattie wouldn’t like that, would she? He tried to shuffle to put some space between them without it being too obvious, his brain foggy from the unfamiliar alcohol he was drinking.

  ‘I guess we did,’ he said. ‘But let’s not talk about that. It was a long time ago.’

  ‘I know.’ She sighed. ‘Well, I’m glad you found someone you love, Cal. I wish Conrad and me could have what you and Hattie do.’

  ‘I’m sorry. I never realised you guys were having problems. You look so happy in all your Facebook photos.’

  ‘Of course. Putting a face on for the cameras is what we do,’ she said with a sad smile. ‘We rushed into things really, getting married so soon after we met. We got offered a lucrative deal by this big cosmetics company who wanted to sponsor our wedding and it felt too good to turn down.’

  Cal blinked. ‘Seriously, you guys got married for a sponsorship deal?
’

  ‘Partly,’ she said, grimacing. ‘Does that make me sound like an awful person?’

  ‘Well, no. I mean, who am I to judge? It’s just so far removed from the world I live in. I can’t imagine committing my life to someone for the sake of a business opportunity.’

  She regarded him for a moment. ‘You take it very seriously, don’t you? All this marriage stuff.’

  ‘Course,’ Cal said. ‘I mean, it’s for life, isn’t it? I couldn’t vow to love someone until death unless I was one hundred per cent sure I meant it.’

  ‘Cal, you’re like a Boy Scout or something. All those principles I used to love you for.’ She sighed. ‘You really must think I’m awful.’

  ‘Don’t be daft, I don’t at all.’

  She smiled. ‘You know, I think this has been good for me. Talking to you. You’re just so… ordinary.’

  Cal finished his champagne. ‘Gee, thanks.’

  ‘Sorry, that didn’t come out right. Real, that’s what I ought to have said.’

  He blinked. ‘Right. What, like Pinocchio?’

  ‘You know what I mean. My whole life now is full of fakes and flatterers. It’d never occur to them that there was anything odd about arranging a wedding for the sake of a sponsorship deal. You’re the only person who’ll still tell it to me like it is.’

  ‘Oh. Well, er, happy to help, I guess.’

  ‘Another drink?’

  Cal glanced at the bottle. ‘We finished it, didn’t we?’

  ‘We finished that one.’ Joanna flicked her long blonde hair over one shoulder so she could reach into her capacious designer handbag, emerging with a second bottle of Veuve Clicquot. ‘What do you say we make a night of it, eh? It’s so nice to have someone genuine to talk to for a change.’

  ‘I really shouldn’t, Jo. I’ve got work tomorrow, and a long drive to drop off a tent afterwards.’

  ‘Go on.’ She rested her long fingernails on his thigh. ‘It’s been years since we’ve seen each other, and I think we both know it’ll probably be years till we see each other again – if we ever do. Let’s drink to the old times.’

  Cal hesitated.

  ‘Well… all right,’ he said. ‘But just one more glass.’

  Seventeen

  At 7am, Bridie’s phone alarm went off. Sleepily she patted the area next to her in the tent, then forced her eyes open when she found it empty.

  Ben was gone, and so was his sleeping bag. He must’ve cleared out before the kids and other teachers worked out where he spent the night, just like she’d asked him to.

  That was good. Obviously sharing a tent had been through necessity only, to stop one of them freezing to death, but Duxbury would be bound to kick up a stink if he knew. The kids would take the piss something chronic too.

  Still, Bridie couldn’t help feeling a swell of disappointment that she hadn’t woken up in Ben’s arms. She’d eventually given in to the low temperature the night before and let him embrace her in a full cuddle, and his body around hers had just made her feel so… safe.

  Of course, that would’ve been the same for anyone who’d happened to be here last night. She probably wouldn’t even have objected if it had been Duxbury snuggling up to her, it had been that bloody cold. There was nothing special about it being Ben: he’d just been a convenient warm body with a decent pair of arms attached.

  She sat up, groaning at the effort of changing her position. She felt stiff and sore all over after her day’s walking, there were blisters on both feet, her shoulders ached from carrying the heavy rucksack and she had it all to do again today. At least tomorrow they’d be going home though. Bridie hugged herself at the thought of it. In twenty-four hours, she’d be back in the great indoors again. She was already fantasising about hot baths, Netflix binges and her warm, snuggly pyjamas.

  Unfortunately, however, that was tomorrow. Right now the best she had to look forward to was a tepid shower and a singed bacon butty.

  She threw on some warm clothes over her pyjamas, slid her poor sore feet into her crocs and unzipped the tent to go see about the possibility of a shower. Annoyingly the kids had beaten her to it, little sods, and there was already a queue for the two shower cubicles.

  ‘All right, I’m cutting in,’ she told the girl at the front of the line. ‘Teachers get first dibs on showers.’

  She grinned. ‘Yeah, nice try, miss. Mr Duxbury said no queue-jumping allowed, not even for teachers. He told us we were to tell you that you had to queue just like the rest of us.’

  ‘Huh. Should’ve known.’ She glanced down the line, noting which students were missing. ‘Where are Josh and pals? Are they still in bed?’

  ‘Nah, they wandered off that way,’ the girl said, pointing to a nearby bank of trees. ‘Kelly said she’d found something interesting and came to fetch her mates to have a look at it.’

  ‘Hmm, that sounds worrying. I hope it’s not a hallucinogenic fungus they’re gobbling down or something. We’ll be overrun with wallabies.’

  ‘You what?’

  ‘Never mind.’

  Bridie left them and headed into the trees to see if she could locate the missing kids. She discovered Kelly, Josh and Emma on their knees in the damp grass, snickering as they peeped through a bush at something.

  ‘What’re you lot gawping at?’ she demanded.

  ‘Miss, shhh,’ Josh whispered. ‘He’ll hear you.’

  ‘Who’ll hear me?’ She stood on tiptoes so she could see what they were looking at over the top of the bush.

  There was a sort of waterfall a little way down in a valley – well, really more of a trickle than a fall, dribbling down a mossy rock face. Underneath it was Ben, shirtless, rinsing his long hair. He looked like a bloody Herbal Essences advert.

  She frowned at the kids. ‘You’re spying on him having a shower? Not cool, you guys.’

  Josh shrugged. ‘He’s got his trousers on, hasn’t he? If he doesn’t want people to look then he should use the proper showers.’

  ‘All right, leave it now. Go get in the queue with the others. We have to be out of here in an hour and a half.’

  ‘Aww, go on, just a bit longer,’ Kelly pleaded. ‘We’ve got a bet on which bit he washes next. I reckon definitely his bum.’

  ‘You’re not sitting around here waiting for him to get his bum out. Go on, sod off before I tell Mr Duxbury on you.’

  ‘Ugh. We thought you were one of the cool teachers.’

  ‘Well, you were wrong. I’m easily the uncoolest person I know. I still wear underwear with the days of the week printed on it.’ She jerked a thumb over her shoulder. ‘Now hop it.’

  With a last lingering look at the topless Ben, the kids trudged off back to the shower block. When they were gone, Bridie made her way precariously down the track that led into the valley.

  ‘Oi. Prince of Thieves.’

  Ben glanced around. ‘Oh. Hi, Bride.’

  ‘What the hell do you think you’re doing?’

  He shrugged. ‘Just trying to wake myself up. The queue was a bit long for the shower block and I was craving cold water.’

  ‘I just had to chase off three randy adolescents who were perving at you. Can you get your clothes on please, before there’s a major scandal?’

  He glanced up to the hilltop. ‘Really, they can see me from up there?’

  ‘Yes, they had a great view. They were taking bets on whether you might be about to get your arse out.’

  ‘They’d have been disappointed.’

  She glanced at the water tumbling down the rock face. ‘Aren’t you worried you’ll get cholera or something?’

  ‘Don’t be daft, this is healthy running water. We survivalist types know what we’re doing.’

  She shook her head. ‘You honestly think you’re Bear Grylls now, don’t you?’

  ‘Yeah, he wishes.’

  He pushed his sodden curls out of his eyes, and Bridie found her gaze dwelling on his broad, firm chest and well-defined stomach muscles. He really did have
a great body, thanks to a combination of vanity and the sort of work he did. It was a shame it had to belong to someone who exploited it so shamelessly.

  He grinned when he noticed her eyes lingering on his bare torso. ‘Fancy joining me? Feel free to jump in.’

  ‘No I don’t. Just get your shirt on, can you? I can’t talk to you when you’re like that.’

  She turned away from him, trying to banish the image of all that naked flesh. God, it really must be a long time since she’d last had sex if her thoughts were wandering in that direction…

  ‘Overcome with lust, right?’ Ben said, nodding soberly. ‘Well, I don’t blame you.’

  ‘Ugh. You’re unbearable.’

  ‘And yet here you still are, unable to leave me alone.’ He hopped out from under the flow, grabbed his towel from a rock and started rubbing his hair dry. ‘So, did you sleep well?’

  She snorted. ‘I’m surprised I managed to sleep at all with you poking your boner into me all night.’

  He shrugged. ‘I didn’t do it on purpose, did I?’

  ‘Seriously, mate, are you permanently on heat?’

  ‘No, that just tends to be what happens when attractive women wriggle their shapely backsides into my crotch. That’s how men work, Bridie. I didn’t design us.’

  ‘Hmm. I hope Cal’s there at the other campsite with an extra tent when we arrive, that’s all.’

  He smirked at her through the folds of towel. ‘Why not just admit you enjoyed it? When I woke up this morning, you were snuggling up to me like a favourite teddy. Practically mounting me, you were.’

  ‘I was cold and it’s a tiny tent. You were the closest thing to a hot water bottle. Don’t think it means anything.’

  ‘Come on, don’t go all prickly again,’ he said, smiling warmly. ‘You know, you can be surprisingly pleasant company when you deprickle.’

  She could do without him smiling at her like that. The smile alone Bridie could cope with, but the smile combined with the wet curls dripping on his face, plus his bare, water-beaded torso and the year’s worth of celibacy, was just too much.

  ‘Ben, shirt, please,’ she muttered, pressing her eyes closed.