I placed it in the cupholder and inched the car forward in the pick-up line, studying the face of every parent and teacher that walked by. “He’ll show. He’s taunting me now.”
Two weeks.
It had become a twisted game of Where’s Waldo? as I searched for his face in the crowd. That was the problem with men like him. They got cocky and made careless decisions, never imagining that a woman could fight back.
Initially, my plan had been to take his son before Molly gently reminded me that I was no better than they were if I did.
So, I waited patiently for him to reappear, and he didn’t disappoint. Once, he’d even gone as far as waving to me before disappearing.
The breath burst from my lungs, and I jumped at the sound of loud tapping against my window. Fighting against every one of my instincts, I slowly turned to face him.
Manny lifted his fingers to his mouth and blew me a kiss with a wide grin before walking away.
“Was that him?” Molly whispered through the phone.
I gripped the steering wheel until my knuckles were white. “Y-yeah. That was him.”
“What’s he wearing today?”
Glancing at the side mirror, I replied, “Gray hoodie. Same as yesterday… and the day before that. He should be headed right toward you.”
I was convinced that Manny had scoured the school grounds for bikes and leather vests, yet he seemed to miss the bright red Chevy Cavalier that trailed a few cars behind his every day.
Initially, I’d wanted to be the one to follow him, but I had Dakota with me. Plus, he knew what I drove. It was better for him to think that I was weak and afraid.
Molly had insisted that she could use her own car, but knowing how dangerous the men were, I’d pulled my old car out of storage and had her snag some spare license plates from Bear’s body shop. There was nothing on that car that could be traced back to either of us.
There were a few seconds of tense silence before she excitedly exclaimed, “Got him! He’s getting into the same black sedan as before. Am I following him again? If so, you’re gonna have to get Little Ricky to jiu-jitsu.”
Dakota hitched her backpack up onto her shoulder when she saw me and began making her way over.
I grinned and waved to her before looking down at the phone. “Just make sure he goes back to the motel and then meet me at the house. I’m ending this tonight.”
“Tonight?” She all but screeched. “We’re not re—”
I ended the call just as the back door opened and Dakota climbed in.
“Hey, baby girl. How was school?”
She pushed her glasses up onto the bridge of her nose and leaned forward in her seat. “What’s wrong? Why are you smiling like that?”
“Nothing’s wrong. Can’t I just be happy to see my Kota-Bear?”
“Don’t call me that. I’m not a baby,” she protested with a frown as she buckled. “And you don’t look happy. Just crazy—like Hela.”
“Who’s Hela?” I asked, checking the rearview mirror for any signs of Manny. My fingers itched to dial Molly for an update, but the last thing Dakota needed was a reason to worry. She and Kate managed just fine on their own.
“Hela, Mama.” At my blank stare, she rolled her eyes and sighed, “We’ve been over this like a hundred times. Have you never picked up one of Daddy’s old comics and flipped through? She’s only the goddess of death and one of Thor’s biggest enemies.”
I stopped at a red light and turned to face her. “She’s what?”
“Thor’s biggest enemy? Well, not as much as Loki, but she still causes—”
“No,” I interrupted. “The one before that.”
Dakota’s blue eyes momentarily widened in confusion until she realized that I was genuinely curious about her favorite subject. Then, the corners of her mouth turned up in a big grin. “The goddess of death part? Yeah, that’s pretty cool, right?”
“So cool.” I turned back to face the road with a wince, needing a cigarette like I needed my next breath. She looked so much like her daddy at that moment that it took my breath away.
She went quiet again, so I prodded. “Goddess of death has a nice ring to it…”
“I mean, it’s neat except for the minor issue of her helping Loki bring about the events of Ragnarok. Did you know that she built her ship, Naflgar, out of the fingernails of the dead?”
Jamie would’ve lived for conversations like this, where I felt like she was speaking a different language.
“Fingernails? Okay, that’s it, I’ve changed my mind. I was all set to become the goddess of death and defeat Thor, but I’m not doing arts and crafts with fingernails. That’s where I draw the line,” I said with a laugh, feeling lighter than I had in years.
I’d wasted years weaving crowns from flowers and hoping for neighborhood barbecues while forgetting that I’d always felt most alive on the arm of the god of death.
Maybe this was what I’d needed all along.
Dakota continued discussing the ways in which Hela tried and failed to defeat Thor while we waited to pick up Kate, and I found that I didn’t mind. I wasn’t thinking about what to make for dinner or worrying that I’d left a door unlocked.
It felt like before.
Before Jamie faked his death.
Before Hawk began stealing from me.
Before the night I wanted so badly to forget.
If I couldn’t bring their father home, the least I could do was resurrect their mother. I didn’t want to be the girl who hid inside anymore. I had to try to get back to the woman who’d driven to a biker clubhouse in the middle of the night and demanded to speak to the Pres.
She was still in there. I knew it.
“Mama… Mama… Mama,” Kate repeated from the passenger seat, waving a hand in front of my face.
“Sorry, zoned out for a second.”
“She’s still imagining a ship made of fingernails,” Dakota giggled from the backseat.
Kate’s nose wrinkled up. “Gross. Who would do that?”
I shook my head. “The goddess of death, apparently. Now, what were you asking?”
She shot a quick glance to the back seat, her eyes sparkling mischievously. “I was just thinking that you shouldn’t have to cook dinner tonight. You’re probably exhausted from working so hard…”
“Mmm-hmm…” A pop song came on the radio, and I began humming softly while tapping my fingers on the steering wheel to the beat.
Kate continued watching me earnestly, and I fought against the smile playing on my lips when I caught Dakota’s inquisitive stare in the rearview mirror.
“You know, that’s a good idea. I’ve been waiting for the day that you and Dakota would take over. I can sit back and watch my favorite show while yelling into the kitchen every five minutes to see if it’s ready.”
Dakota sank back down in her seat with a huff as Kate’s shoulders fell. “I was actually—I mean, we were thinking it might be nice to just pick something up. That way no one has to waste time cleaning up the kitchen—”
“Kate.” I patted her leg. “You can stop now. We’re picking up a pizza for dinner, and that’s final.” The grin returned to both girls’ faces, and Dakota raised her fist in victory when we pulled into the parking lot.
We cranked the music on the drive home, the three of us belting out the lyrics like we were on stage. While Kate and I thumped our fists against our chests dramatically, Dakota squeezed her eyes shut and held her pretend microphone in a death grip.
I would’ve stopped time itself if it meant they could stay young and carefree forever. As that wasn’t an option, I’d have to settle for knowing that the men who hurt me would never lay a finger on either one of them.
If I had it my way, no man would ever raise a hand to them.
Dakota saw the motorcycle parked in the driveway before I did and began bouncing up and down in her seat. “Is that Angel? This really is the best day ever! I can’t wait to fix his hair!”
“What’s wron
g with his hair?”
“Nothing’s wrong with it, but he lets her take it down and brush it out like they’re playing beauty shop,” Kate explained while I parked, as if she was too grown up for such things.
“It’s not a beauty shop. It’s a superhero transformation center. When his hair is down, he looks like Thor. Well, like an old man Thor. I mean, his hair isn’t blond, but it’s long.”
“And?” Kate pressed.
“And… he pays me five bucks just for doing it,” Dakota finished sheepishly. “What? I didn’t tell him to, but he said I have a natural talent.”
She could’ve put his hair up in pigtails, and he would’ve given her the money all the same. With the exception of Lucy and Wolverine, no one loved those girls like he did.
When we moved out of my parent’s house, he filled in as babysitter on the nights I worked late. Initially, I thought he was just doing it to help me until I saw how he was with them. He got just as much, if not more, out of it.
He stood up from the porch swing with a wave, and Dakota threw the car door open and went racing toward him. Kate stayed where she was, staring out the window.
“What’s the matter, Katydid? You don’t want to spend some time with Angel?”
She shrugged. “It’s just that I’m almost fifteen, and other girls my age are babysitting. It doesn’t seem fair.”
I knew it was coming. By the time I was her age, I’d sat for half the kids in the neighborhood. If anyone was mature enough to stay home alone, it was Kate.
Unfortunately, the world preyed upon young girls and made them hard. By the time I discovered it at seventeen, it was too late. The darkness sank its talons into me while I was distracted by pretty words on the lips of a man in a leather vest.
“You and Angel have fun together, right?”
“Yeah, I guess,” Kate admitted. “Sometimes he brings his old records, and we sit and play them, but I just feel like I’m old enough to stay alone.”
It was apparent that she wasn’t going to fall for a distraction, leaving me with only one option. I’d never be able to give her the real reason, so I settled for a version of the truth.
“Okay, it’s time I let you in on a little secret, but you have to swear to never tell your sister.”
She offered me her pinky finger. “I swear.”
We linked them before I continued. “I’ve known for a while that you were old enough to watch your sister by yourself. It’s just—it’s Angel. You know he’s all alone, and at least when he’s here, I don’t have to worry if he’s getting a good meal. So, can you humor me, at least for tonight?”
With one hand on the door handle, she looked back at me. “I’m sorry, Mama.”
I pulled the keys from the ignition and waved my hand. “No need to say you’re sorry—you didn’t know. We’ll have some pizza, maybe see if you can talk Angel into renting a movie—”
“That’s not it. I’m sorry because you’re so quick to take care of everybody else, but there’s no one to take care of you.”
Chapter Ten
Celia: 2004
The woman in the mirror was a stranger.
My dark hair was hidden underneath a platinum blonde wig that trailed down over my shoulders. The greasy makeup that Molly had expertly applied made me look like a siren but felt as if it was caked onto my skin.
To complete my look, I wore sky-high heels and a dress I’d found at a second-hand store that dipped down low in between my breasts, leaving little to the imagination.
“I look like a whore.”
Molly stood up on her tiptoes to look over my shoulder. “Yeah, you do. I’d pay good money for you too. I think I might have some cash in my purse; hang on.”
“No, I’m serious.” I tugged on the hem, struggling to make it reach the top of my thighs. I hadn’t worn a dress since the night of the blackjack game. “I don’t feel comfortable being this… exposed.”
She dropped back onto her heels with a sigh. “I know, but we’ve been watching this prick for weeks now. He has a thing for breaking tiny blondes with huge tits and not much in the way of clothing. You fit the bill, but if you’ve changed your mind and would rather call in the club—”
“No, it needs to be me.” I stared through the windows that overlooked the garage. Molly had insisted that Bear’s body shop was the perfect place to hide out and get ready, yet I kept waiting for one of the bikers to burst through the door and bust us. “What does Bear use this apartment for anyway?”
Molly gnawed on the corner of her finger. “You really wanna know the answer to that question or should we move on to something else?”
With a grimace, I quickly responded with, “Something else. You know you have a problem, right?”
She threw her head back with a cackle. “A problem? It’s only a problem if you’re not getting any, which you most certainly are not. Don’t tell me your last time was with Grey, because if it was, you, my friend, are the one in need of a dicktervention.”
The memory barged in, uninvited, and my skin began to crawl. I clenched my hands into fists and focused on my reflection in the mirror until the whore gave way to the warrior.
The fog of numbness settled over me again.
I’d let myself feel it, just as soon as they were dead.
She looked down at the floor with a nod. “I’m so sorry—”
My breathing gradually evened out, and I relaxed my shoulders before looking up at the clock on the wall.
“Don’t be sorry,” I snapped. “I’m so sick of everyone being sorry. I just want to get this over with so that I can go back to my life.”
“Absolutely. Where’s your gun?”
Heat flooded my face as I admitted, “I, um, I didn’t bring it.”
“What do you mean you didn’t bring it?” She narrowed her eyes, hands already moving up onto her hips. Any minute now, she was going to use her ‘mom voice’ on me.
“Well…” My voice cracked, and I cleared my throat. “You see, there’s actually a really good explanation. A gunshot is going to attract the attention of every man in that motel and, according to the cleaning lady, the windows don’t open. So, obviously, I’ll need to find a quieter method for… all that.”
With a heavy sigh, Molly sank down onto one of the worn beanbag chairs. “That makes sense, but how exactly were you planning on handling ‘all that?’”
I pulled the bodice of the dress away from my body to reveal the boning knife hidden in my corset bra. “With this.”
She dropped her head down into her waiting palm with another sigh. “We’re dealing with hardened criminals here, and you’re bringing a knife to a gunfight. Literally. Please tell me you have a backup plan.”
“The knife is my backup plan.” Her head shot up hopefully. “I’m going to lead with jiu-jitsu, disarm him, and then just…” I gestured toward my throat with trembling hands. “Just do the… thing.”
“Jesus Christ, Celia. When you said you were ending it tonight, I sort of thought you had some foolproof plan in place.”
I straightened the dress. “It is foolproof! Tony said I was quickly becoming one of the best students in my class. I can take down men twice my size—”
“We need to call the club. Grey was ready to kick my ass for bringing you to Leather & Lace for fight night, can you imagine what he’d do to me if I let you get yourself killed?”
“You really think he cares what happens to me now? I threw him out, Molly. Four years ago. Have you seen him around anywhere? Because I sure as hell haven’t.”
I snagged the small purse from the table and headed toward the door. “Either you’re helping me or running to the club to tattle, but you can’t do both.”
“I want to help you,” she pleaded. “But think about the girls, Celia!”
“Did you already forget the threat against Kate? I am thinking about the girls. I’m doing this for them.”
She followed me down the stairs. “Celia, what happened to you that night? I want to he
lp you, I do. But I can’t if you won’t open up to me.”
Molly meant well; I knew she did, but giving my demons a voice wasn’t going to help anyone. Once she realized she wasn’t going to get an answer out of me, she let it go and got in the car.
We’d decided on our drop-off location after following Manny for a week. He and his friends congregated every evening in the parking lot of a sleazy by-the-hour motel just off the interstate, just blocks from where the local prostitutes gathered. Wanting to keep the list of potential witnesses at zero, we found a spot in between the two, near a towing company.
“It’s not too late to back out,” Molly blurted out as she pulled up to the curb. “I just mean, I don’t want you to feel like this is all on you.”
The dome light kicked on as I opened the door, illuminating a face that had gone white as a sheet. She looked as if she was going to be sick at any moment.
“Hey,” I reached across the console to squeeze her hand. “It’s going to be okay. If I’m not back within an hour, you have my blessing to call in the cavalry.”
She looked at the glowing green numbers on the dash and then back to me. “One hour. Please be safe.”
“Who knows? He might be in the mood for a brunette tonight, in which case, I’ll be back sooner than you think.” I laughed, even though the thought left me feeling hollow inside.
This had to work.
I didn’t have a plan B.
As I teetered down the block, it quickly became apparent that I was never going to master wearing heels. Nothing about my movements screamed grace or sexiness; if anything, I resembled a drunk toddler.
Two hookers crossed their arms over their chests and moved shoulder to shoulder as I approached. The blonde one on my left chose to be the spokeswoman. “What the fuck do you think you’re doin’? This is our corner.”
I pulled a wad of cash from my purse. “I’d like to rent it for the night.”
Wolverine had been pushing me to use the money in the bank account he helped me set up; money that I knew came from Jamie.
I finally listened.
Protector: Silent Phoenix MC Series: Book Four Page 12
