My Girlfriends Are Pirate Elves! 1

by Eden Redd

  Jon bowed his head. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean anything by it.”

  The Captain shook her head. “It’s nothing we haven’t tried to explain before. We don’t expect you to understand all of our ways and culture, just as we don’t know everything about your ways and culture.”

  “I must apologize on how I acted before, when you first arrived. I’m not used to changing my routine and this was a bit of a shock. It’s true, I don’t know what events brought us together, but my parents always taught me to help those who need it. It seems you all need it, very much.”

  “You are a warm soul in the dark,” Lilly slowly blinked.

  “Commander Locke saw me in the grocery store. He told me you were all criminals and he would stop at nothing to bring you all in. It was odd that he seems to know some things about you, even though this is your first time on Urth.”

  Lilly’s easy-going smile came back. “If he is corrupt as you mentioned before, he might think he can extort us for gold. From what little I know about your world, Urth doesn’t have a lot of gold.”

  Jon blinked as he leaned against a wall in the long hallway. It was true, Urth didn’t have a lot of gold. The element was very rare. Some metals were used as substitutes, but those metals never held a candle to the power of gold. It was one of the many reasons why the governments allowed trade between the two worlds. Gold was plentiful on Aquris and it made things easier to accept between each dimension.

  “I feel I don’t know the whole story with your need to stay here. Maybe, with time, you will tell me, but it’s your business. I thought it over as I was getting groceries and it would be wrong if I tried to push you all out when you clearly need help.”

  Lilly stepped closer, a foot of space between them. “I thought you were helping me because of the kiss?”

  Jon kept his steady gaze. “I would have helped you without the kiss.”

  The pirate elf let out a sultry sigh. “You felt it too, the moment we saw each other.”

  A nervous energy spiked up Jon’s spine. “We should get downstairs. I don’t want Zelda to get into the meat.”

  Jon hastily made his way to the stairs and descended. Lilly followed, a wry smile on her lips.

  On the main floor, Jon walked the small hallway and emerged into the living room. Eyes caught Syndra and Cora watching TV. Zelda was nowhere to be seen. Glancing to his bedroom door, it stood ajar.

  “Zelda?” Jon called out.

  “She’s in your bathroom,” Syndra shouted over the TV volume.

  Oh no! I don’t remember if I put it away!

  Heart skipping a beat, Jon bolted for the bedroom. Lilly quickly followed.

  Jon burst into his bedroom before turning to a slightly open door. Steam fell from the open door, slipping into the bedroom while the sound of water floated out. Without thinking, he charged into the bathroom, mist consuming his form. Lilly followed, not far behind.

  “Zelda?” Jon called out as the mist slowly parted.

  Lilly’s eyes widened a hair as she looked around the foggy bathroom. It was huge, almost as big as the bedroom. There was a shower stall, a small corner bathtub and a larger one against the other wall. A counter took up another wall with a large rectangular mirror. The entire room was covered in pale blue tiles along the floor, the walls, and even the ceiling. Water splashed as some dripped over the larger tub’s side, someone moving in the mists.

  Where is it?

  Jon reached down, running his hand along the edge of the tub when the water stopped flowing from the faucet and the steam parted.

  Jon froze as Lilly smiled from behind him.

  Zelda lay in the oversized bathtub, her body submerged but the water was clear as day. The sea elf lounged as her seven-foot-tall frame barely reached over the halfway point of the long tub. Naked blue skin blended into a near camouflage as she lay. Her breasts bobbed with dark, blue nipples standing erect. Her toned skin stretched over her powerful, but sensual form. Jon was unable to stop himself from looking and seeing her thin valley between strong thighs. Trying to look away, his gaze moved up to her breasts again in their glory.

  “The water is amazing,” Zelda cooed as she lay in the hot water.

  Lilly approached, seeing a strange device in Zelda’s hand. “What is that?”

  Jon’s eyes blinked and he stared at the tube-like device in Zelda’s hand, blood draining from his face.

  Zelda gave a warm, sharp smile. “It looks similar to Syndra’s valley, but hers is darker than this.”

  Jon reached over with a trembling hand and took the item from Zelda’s hand. The sea elf sat up in the tub, water running down along her smooth skin as she continued to smile with pointed teeth.

  “I think it’s Jon's personal device for putting his…” Zelda was cut off.

  “It’s called a flesh light,” Jon nearly growled before putting it in a cabinet by the mirror and counter.

  “It seems broken. I didn’t see any light,” Zelda smiled, not bothering to cover herself up.

  Jon’s shoulders sank, his back to the two elves as he continued, “It’s for… when a man is frustrated.”

  Lilly raised an eyebrow. “Couldn’t you simply use your hand?”

  “Or have a friend help you relieve your needs?” Zelda added.

  Jon turned around, trying to keep his gaze off of Zelda’s naked breasts. “I didn’t know I was going to have four elves live with me. If I knew, I would have put many things away so you didn’t see it.”

  Lilly smiled. “It’s nothing to be ashamed of.”

  “Ashamed, no. Embarrassed, yes.” Jon whispered.

  Lilly nodded before looking around. “This is truly an impressive bathroom, as you call it. I can see why you would want to be close to it.”

  Zelda sank back into the hot water. “I’ve never bathed in such a splendid room. I can get used to this.”

  A vein throbbed along Jon’s temple. “This is my bathroom. All of you can use the ones upstairs.”

  “I have bathed in these waters and I could never bathe elsewhere,” Zelda said whimsically.

  “Zelda can be a little territorial. If she likes it, there’s little chance she will change her mind,” Lilly grinned.

  “You’re her Captain,” Jon said with a frustrated edge.

  Lilly kept her smile. “True, but I can’t tell her what to do all the time. I’m not her parent.”

  Jon rubbed his temple. “There is still an adjustment period going on here. Please at least knock before entering.”

  Zelda looked over, “Why would I do that? I want to see you use your flesh light.”

  Jon’s eyes turned white as a ghost.

  Lilly put her hands up. “Zelda, do as he asks. Maybe, when he is comfortable, he can show you what he does with it.”

  The elf Captain looked to Jon with a wicked smirk. “I would like to see it too.”

  “Then, maybe, we can see the light,” Zelda grinned.

  Jon blinked, turned around and exited the bathroom.

  “This is going to be more fun than I thought,” Lilly whispered.

  Four

  This is insanity! I have four hot elves living with me. They don’t have any shame and act like they can do whatever they want. There are rules, customs, and traditions that they know nothing about. It’s my job now to teach them, but why me? Was I just a sucker for them to use? Am I just being led along until I don’t serve their needs anymore? Will they rob me in the middle of the night? Or worse, will they kill me, weight my body with rocks and dump me into the harbor? Is this my luck turning on me? I could push my luck, but that means bad luck will follow. What am I to do?

  Jon sat on the couch, watching the news. To his right was Syndra and Cora. To his left, Lilly sat with her arm on his shoulder. In a lone seat next to Lilly, Zelda sat in her leather outfit, gaze firmly on the flatscreen.

  The sun hung low in the sky, orange light coming through from the sliding deck window door. Pink clouds drifted along the sky, the end of the da
y vastly approaching.

  It had been hours since the bathroom incident. The four elves were engrossed with normal news, planting themselves on the couch and not wanting to watch anything else. At the time, Jon was fine with it. It allowed him a chance to catch his breath and dwell on the new situation. The elves spoke very little as they watched with interested eyes. World news dominated the screen and the four elves were addicted to it.

  I just have to normalize them so we can get along. Keep them busy and teach them about my world so they can pass for normal. Routines are great for that. Keep them close and hope some of it sticks through repetition.

  “How about we make dinner together?” Jon said out loud.

  “Get us more of those sushi containers and we should be fine,” Syndra said without looking at him.

  Jon’s expression slid into slight defeat.

  Don’t give up.

  “I think, if we are going to live together, we have to do chores together. One of those chores is making dinner together. I can show you how to make sushi. There are many different recipes and we can explore them, finding everyone’s favorite,” Jon said with a little more understanding.

  Lilly looked over, her hand moving and touching his cheek. “That sounds like a marvelous idea.”

  “How are we going to cook and watch TV?” Syndra asked like Jon was crazy.

  Jon was momentarily lost to Lilly’s touch before he forced himself to speak. “How about we turn off the TV. We can cook, talk, and eat together.”

  “That sounds boring,” Syndra moaned as she barely blinked, her gaze still on the screen.

  “I think Jon is right. This is our new home. It will help us adjust to Urth and our Shullkar,” Lilly smiled.

  “Cooking is not alien to us. It’s boring. We eat and shit it out later. Cycle of life,” Syndra scoffed.

  She’s not wrong.

  Jon took in a deep breath. “Let’s cook together and then you can watch TV afterwards.”

  “Boring,” Syndra sneered.

  Cora and Zelda said nothing, ignoring the back and forth discussion.

  Jon rubbed his temple.

  Play to what they like.

  “I see you all like watching the news,” Jon said.

  “It’s fascinating how many lives are affected and it’s told through your TV,” Cora said in a low, shy tone.

  Jon nodded. “There are many channels dedicated to the news. I can show how to find them so you can watch more interesting stories.”

  Syndra blinked and turned her gaze to Jon. “Show them to me now!”

  Jon gave a knowing smirk. “We make dinner together and I’ll show them to you after we are finished having dinner.”

  The shadow elf shook her head. “We don’t need you for that. I can call on the spirits to aid me with knowledge. They will tell me where to go and how to find them.”

  Lilly watched the interaction between Syndra and Jon with interested eyes.

  Jon clenched his jaw.

  Time to play hardball.

  Jon stood up, stepped around the coffee table and stood directly in front of the TV. Before the elves could protest, he raised his hands, palms out. His face was a dark, serious mask.

  “If we are not going to work together to make this transition easier, I will take the TV and throw it into the harbor.”

  Three pairs of eyes widened as Lilly tried to contain her giggling by covering her mouth.

  “You can’t do that!” Syndra nearly shouted.

  “How will we get our news?” Cora’s eyes glistened.

  “You are a cruel man!” Zelda growled.

  Jon crossed his arms with a smug smile. “If you want to be part of our world, we have to work together. Working together means we do things together. We make dinner together, every night, and you can watch whatever you want on TV. Do we have an agreement?”

  Three heads bowed.

  Lilly was up, moving to Jon’s side and smiling. “I do believe we have an accord, don’t we?”

  “Yes, Captain,” all three elves said in unison.

  “Don’t say it to me,” Lilly grinned.

  All three elves looked to Jon in various states of defeat.

  “Yes, Jon,” the three said with a low mumble.

  I’ll take it.

  Jon picked up the remote and turned off the flatscreen. The moment the images died, the three elves seemed smaller. Even Zelda looked like a whipped dog.

  “Let’s get started,” Jon smiled.

  Bodies moved like zombies as everyone stepped toward the kitchen and small adjacent dining area. Jon led the charge, stepping to the fridge and pulling out ingredients. Water was put in a large pot and set to boil on the stove. Fish was placed on cutting boards and seaweed wrap nearby.

  A strange instinct took over as everyone moved to specific roles. Zelda cut into the fish with her nail. Fingers worked the fish bodies, deboning them pretty quickly. Cora picked up a knife and began cutting the fish like a pro. Her hands were quick, slicing and dicing with the skill of a chef. Syndra stayed by the rice, stirring and mumbling to herself.

  Lilly and Jon cut up some vegetables and avocados. The group worked as one, moving with finesse and skill. It didn’t take long to get most of the ingredients together. Jon instructed Syndra to drain the rice while he reached into a kitchen drawer and pulled out small bamboo mats. With the rice drained and sitting in a large bowl, the elves watched as Jon began making the first roll.

  Gazes drank in his skill as he rolled the fish, avocado, and cut vegetables together with rice. Next, he used the bamboo mat to shape the roll before wrapping it in a seaweed sheet. Once he was done, he picked up a knife and cut down the roll into individual bite size pieces. Once he was done, everyone grabbed at the items and tried to make their own.

  Jon watched with a smile as their first, small rolls fell apart. He encouraged them, helping each one out separately. Cora imitated his moves perfectly, her second roll as good as Jon’s first roll. Zelda growled, but soon got the hang of it by the third roll. Lilly picked it up very quickly, her second roll just like Jon’s first roll.

  Syndra stared down with hard eyes as all four rolls she created fell apart. Hands clenching, she stared at the mess of rice and fish like she was ready to cast a curse on it.

  Jon picked up a plain bowl and scooped up Syndra’s attempts into it before sticking chopsticks in it.

  “Sometimes it's better in a bowl,” Jon said with a kind smile.

  Syndra eyed him before defeat set in and she gave a small nod.

  Sushi rolls and bowls made, they cleared off the table and placed down utensils and mats. Jon moved to a cabinet, opened it and pulled out two bottles of wine.

  “Since this is our first night together, how about a little wine? You all drink wine, right?”

  Smiles bloomed as eyes all stared at the bottles in Jon’s hands.

  “Wine is a rare commodity on Aquris. Since it requires land to grow proper fruit, wine, much like anything grown on land, is guarded and costly to obtain,” Lilly informed.

  Jon nodded. “Well, we have plenty of it here. Drink as much as you want… uh… within reason.”

  The young man moved to the counter. In mere moments, bottles were opened, wine poured into glasses and Jon placed one before each elf. Tongues licked lips before they all reached out and picked up a glass. Lilly gave them a look and all raised their glasses for a toast.

  Jon sat down, picked up his wine glass and held it up. “May luck follow us wherever we may go.”

  “Agreed!” the four elves said in unison before everyone took a drink.

  A welcoming sigh filled the dining area by the kitchen before they set their glasses down and began to eat. Jon watched with curious eyes this time, Zelda picked up one piece at a time, eating it and swallowing before the next piece. Cora’s hands moved like a surgeons’, taking each with chopstick mastery. Syndra used a spoon, shoveling bits of rice, seaweed, and fish into her mouth. When Jon turned his gaze to Lilly, the beaut
iful elf moved a sushi roll on her plate while eying him.

  “Is it not to your liking?” Jon asked.

  Lilly shook her head slightly with a warm smile. “It’s very much to my liking and I’m not talking about the sushi.”

  Heat rushed up Jon’s neck as he coughed and placed a cut roll in his mouth.

  Syndra looked over and smiled. “It’s your aura. It glows beyond normal sight.”

  “Aura? I don’t understand. Does everyone have an aura?”

  Syndra nodded. “They do. It’s slight for most beings, plants, and animals. I can’t get a good look, but our Captain seems to think yours is bright. I have to see for myself.”

  “Can’t you just look at me and know?” Jon asked.

  Zelda and Cora looked to each other and smiled before picking up pieces of sushi and watching with curious eyes.

  Lilly lifted a wine glass and took a sip. “Syndra is a sea witch and needs to perform certain rites to understand mystical energies.”

  “What kind of rites?” Jon said before placing another piece of sushi in his mouth.

  “To understand a man’s soul, I have to taste his seed,” the sea witch said plainly.

  Jon coughed, nearly choking on his sushi. Zelda and Cora’s smiles grew wider. Lilly handed Jon’s wine glass to him and he drank it down, soothing his throat. Coughs filled the air until Jon’s throat calmed down. Setting the wine glass down, he sat back, eyes watering.

  “I’m… not sure what to say to that,” Jon coughed.

  “What is there to say?” Lilly smiled warmly. “Our relationship starts with a taste. I kissed you and knew you would be our Shullkar. It’s only a matter of time before my crew will want to taste you too, in their own ways.”

  “You have to forgive me. Something like this isn’t practiced too much here on Urth. At most, two people can love each other, but beyond that, it isn’t normally practiced.”

  “Is it against the law?” Zelda asked.

  Jon shook his head. “It’s not against the law, but it isn’t normal either. How are relationships on Aquris?”

  Lilly leaned her elbows on the table while giving Jon an affectionate look. “There are no limits on who or how many you love. Trying to create laws or rules over the heart led to many disasters in our early history. Jealousy has destroyed more than it created. Our early history is filled with stories of rage and violence, treating lovers like possessions.