Vice

by Nicole Marsh

  Seeing the Roth’s beautiful brick home, with its circle drive and well-manicured lawns and hedges, still takes my breath away each time. It’s the kind of home I imagined when I was in foster care. Well, the kind I imagined before I gave up hope of finding a forever family and started to just imagine ways to improve my own life once I was out of the system.

  Alex parks at the end of the large circle drive, amongst a dozen other cars that are already parked and vacated. He rounds our car and opens my door for me, placing my hand in the crook of his elbow after I exit. Together, we head up the front steps, letting ourselves in through the unlocked front door. Inside, the house is decorated with streamers and signs leading the way through to the backyard. We walk through the house laughing at Ally’s signs that display various messages like ‘The art is this way, not that way’ with an arrow pointing out back and another saying ‘If you’re a thief, the only valuables in this house are the art pieces in the backyard’.

  We finally reach the double French patio doors which have been left open, and we can hear the quiet smattering of polite conversation right before we head outside. The backyard looks nothing like the last time I was at the Roth house.

  Ally has created a fairytale outdoor gallery. The setting sun casts an orange glow on the garden, creating a natural ambience. Her paintings are hung amongst the hedges with strategic fairy lights giving a gentle glow to the viewers. The placement of her artwork, makes it appear to be part of the garden, like it’s meant to live there, rather than a temporary home for her paintings during her gallery show.

  Tons of people mill about, walking between the pieces of art. Some of the guests I recognize as Alex’s extended family that I met briefly during the holidays last year. I greet the people I know with hugs and hellos, while introducing myself to the remaining guests that I haven’t met before. Alex and I walk through the paintings, enjoying Ally’s life-like depiction of scenery and various objects. She also has hung a few portraits and each of them are absolutely stunning.

  We reach the final painting and I stand there for a few moments to take it in. I tilt my head a bit to look at it from different angles. The painting looks so vividly real and something about is seems so familiar. The painting depicts a wedding, with a bride and groom standing before a priest, under a vine covered archway that’s placed in front of a small grove of trees.

  The groom is handsome, tall with sandy hair and broad shoulders wearing a navy blue tux and a beaming smile. The bride is petite and gorgeous, her dark hair pulled into an intricate braided hairstyle and topped with a flowing veil that touches the ground. The dress she has on is stunning a concoction of lace and tulle, hugging her figure on the top and flaring out towards the bottom. Her dress is the type of wedding gown a princess would wear on her wedding day.

  I pause my scrutiny of the photo and turn my head to tell Alex how much I love the painting, but also how it feels so familiar. I end up cutting off my own words with a gasp, my hand flying to my mouth.

  Beside me, Alex has taken to one knee with a small square box open and nestled between his palms. Inside the box lays a gorgeous teardrop cut diamond on a platinum band. I drag my eyes from the ring settled in the box up to Alex’s face. Before he even says the words that I know are coming next, I’m already nodding my head in a slow, sure movement. Tears are welling up in my eyes and my hand is still covering my mouth.

  Alex asks quietly, “Jenna, will you be my forever, officially?”

  “Yes,” I say back, quietly at first. Then I repeat myself again, louder. “There’s nothing I want more. Yes.”

  Alex places the ring on my finger, with a shaky hand, and the box disappears into his pocket. Then I’m wrapped in a strong hug, being lifted off the ground, and twirled around as I giggle.

  The crowd, which had faded away as soon as I saw Alex on one knee, comes back into focus. Everyone is cheering and clapping, excited to be included in our moment. Happy for our happiness.

  Right before Alex presses a kiss to my lips, I place my palms against his cheeks and whisper, “You always know exactly what I need, even when I don’t. Thank you for loving me this way.”

  He kisses me fiercely, almost indecently in front of his entire family. I pull my face back to keep things from going too far and Alex whispers back, “I love you the way you deserve. The same way you love me.”

  The End.

  Books by Nicole Marsh

  Thriller-Romance

  Vice

  Wrath (Winter 2019)

  Pain: A Vice short story (Spring 2019)

  Paranormal Romance

  The Curse (Winter 2019)

  Interested in reading more by Nicole Marsh?

  Keep reading for an exclusive sneak peek of

  Wrath

  (Releasing Winter 2019)

  Available now for pre-order through Amazon.

  For even more Nicole Marsh, follow her author page on Amazon for updates on her newest releases, or add her on Instagram @N.Marsh.Author.

  WRATH

  A Novel by

  Nicole Marsh

  My name is Katia Zaystev.

  When my story began, I was set to be a pawn.

  I was born a Knyaginya, a Princess of the Bratva. At age seven I was engaged to my childhood crush. I spent almost a decade imagining our perfect life together, anxious for us to finally be married. Until I found out his true character. I became a shell of anger and spite.

  A pawn again: I paid the price for my Father’s sins. I was stolen from the life I was born into, to torture my Father, to make him feel weak, to make him pay. I accepted my impending death. Only to be saved, in a twist of fate, by a woman with even less than myself.

  Years later, the new life I created comes crashing down.

  My father has found me and he will do anything to get me back. I am forced to leave the one person who has ever cared about me without expecting anything in return.

  I left home and returned to my Father. All to save my best friend, my family. But things won’t be the same as before. I’m here with a streak of vengeance a mile wide.

  If only my Father’s new Avtorityet would let go of his conviction that we’re made for each other. Hasn’t he heard?

  I’m the Ice Princess.

  Returned to keep her Father’s obligations.

  Duty bound to be the breeder of the next Pakhan.

  Love is the one luxury that I’m not allowed to have.

  Chapter 1

  Katia

  Age 7

  Knyaginya, stop fidgeting,” Tati, my stern Nanny, chastises me as I pull at the sleeves and hem of my white dress. I’m tired of sitting here, having Tati pull at my hair and paint my face. I just want to go outside and play with the other kids.

  I’m always stuck inside. When everyone else got to start school, I was stuck inside at home with Zoya, my grumpy tutor and Tati, my grumpy nanny. While everyone else was making friends, I was stuck inside reading books about history, about my ancestry, and learning how to write in different languages. While everyone else got invited to birthday parties from kids at school, I was stuck inside learning about different forks to use for eating, and how to dance at fancy parties.

  I know everything that I’ve missed out on, even after only two years of being stuck inside. My best friend Andrei always comes over when his dad visits mine and tells me all about the fun stuff he gets to do at school.

  He tells stories about his friends and their birthday parties. One girl even had pony rides at her party! I’ve never even seen a real pony. Andrei has been in school for six years already, he gets to do cool stuff all the time, while I’m stuck inside.

  Things at my house are better when Andrei comes over. My daddy comes home to meet with Andrei’s dad, and sometimes he lets Andrei and I watch movies together. Even Zoya is nicer when Andrei is here. Zoya dresses us up, and puts makeup on me. She says it would be a dream come true if Andrei fell in love with me and wanted to marry me. That it would be like a fairytale.

>   Zoya is twelve years older than me. She’s short with mousy brown hair and glasses. No one pays much attention to her in my house. Her dad works for mine and he helped her get a job teaching me. Zoya says being my tutor gives her a chance at meeting someone that wants to become her husband. She says there’s nothing more important than loyalty to the Bratva and as a female, it’s important to marry and produce more members.

  I know that Zoya tells the truth when she talks. Even though she’s older than me, I know we’re friends. She’s one of the few people here that doesn’t treat me like a silly kid that’s wasting her time. Even though she does get annoyed when I have a lot of questions.

  Today Tati dressed me in a fluffy white dress, with short sleeves, and little flowers on it. She braided my long blond hair around my head like a crown and put white flowers into that too. Tati says today is an important day for my future. That my daddy and Andrei’s dad are hoping to agree that Andrei and I should spend our lives together. She says that a lot of money and important promises will exchange hands today, if all goes well.

  After Tati finishes preparing me to see my daddy, she tells me I look beautiful. But before I leave the room she warns me, “Knyaginya, do not talk unless spoken to. Smile, look beautiful, don’t fidget, don’t mess up your outfit.”

  I solemnly nod my head. The last time I got my dress dirty, my daddy got so angry, he threw his glass against the wall. He said I shamed him for not being a good girl and sitting on the couch at his party, instead of running around with the boys in the dirt. Afterwards he sent me to my room, and wouldn’t let me see Andrei the next time he came over with his dad.

  I don’t want to be stuck in my room again. Even if I’m mostly stuck inside, I usually get to spend part of my day in the gardens. I don’t want to lose that.

  Tati silently walks me down the stairs and to the large wooden door that goes to my daddy’s office. She knocks and one of daddy’s guards ushers me in.

  My daddy stands from his desk and opens up his arms. Already forgetting what Tati said about messing up my dress and hair, I run over to him and give him a hug. “Ahh, here she is. My best girl.” He says, as he returns my hug. My daddy sits back down behind his desk, but turns his chair sideways to face me. He scans me with his eyes before focusing on my face. “Knyaginya, I want to talk to you about something very important.” He picks a small gold band off the desk with a tiny square diamond settled on top of it, “Andrei and his Father came here today, because Andrei wants to give you this ring.”

  I look over at Andrei and let out a squeal. I love presents. No one has ever given me a ring before. I reach over to snatch the ring from my daddy’s fingers, but he stops me with his other hand.

  “Before you take this ring, Knyaginya, you need to know that it means something very important.” I stop at his solemn tone and clasp my hands together in front of my belly. “This ring means that you’re committing to Andrei. Once you get older, you’ll promise yourself to him in front of a priest and then live together forever. If you do this, you can never date anyone else, because your promise makes you belong to Andrei. And Andrei promises to take care of you. Do you want to be with Andrei forever?”

  I look down at my shoes, I guess Zoya was right! Andrei really does like me. That must be why he always comes over to my house. Even though we’re stuck inside.

  I glance over my shoulder at Andrei again and he widens his eyes, gesturing low at his side for me to take the ring. Turning my head back to my daddy, I nod, then hold out my palm for him to give me the ring.

  A big smile lights up my daddy’s face. Instead of handing me the ring he looks to Andrei. “Come put the ring on your future wife, boy.”

  Andrei stands from his chair, he’s wearing a nice outfit too. He even has a tie on. He walks over and takes the ring from daddy. He grabs my left hand and focuses his gaze on our connected palms, sliding the ring on to my second smallest finger. Then he looks up at me and gives me a little smile.

  He must have been really nervous I might say no because his hands are sweaty. Now that the ring is on my finger, Andrei starts to look relieved. Once he lets go of my hand, I hold it out in front of me to look at the band on my finger.

  The little diamond glistens a bit in the light. It’s the prettiest gift I’ve ever gotten.

  Age 11

  I wake up with blood soaked through the bottom half of my night gown and seeping into my sheets. I can feel the liquid, but I confirm what it is by touching it with my hand and holding it up to my face. Upon seeing the bright red and smelling the coppery scent, I bolt upright in bed and let out a loud shriek. Within an instant two of daddy’s guards burst into my room with their guns drawn.

  They assess the room for threats before turning to look at me. Tears are streaming down my face, I don’t know what happened, but I’m sure I’m dying. No one can bleed this much and not die. It’s impossible.

  “I’m bleeding!” I exclaim, ripping the covers off my lower half to show them.

  The two guards glance down, then shake their heads. One of them chuckles. Together they exit the room and I’m distraught that they don’t care if I die. I can hear one of them yell Tati’s name in his deep baritone, as he heads out through the door and into the hall, to resume standing watch.

  Tati comes rushing in a few minutes later. She’s wearing a long nightgown that buttons all the way up to her neck and a bonnet to cover her hair. Seeing her in my room, starts a new round of sobs. This is the last time I’ll ever see Tati.

  “Tati, I’m dying!” I force out, between my tears.

  She looks down at my body, which is still uncovered. Tati sits on the bed near my feet and pats my calf a few times. “Knyaginya, you’re okay. Tonight you have become a woman.”

  Tati waits until my tears subside before she starts the shower for me and ushers me inside. While I clean up, Tati has my bed remade and is waiting outside of the shower with a towel for me.

  She has me sit on the toilet seat to listen to the important things she needs to tell me. Tati tells me every month I will bleed like tonight, it’s part of the curse of being a woman. She says that someday, after I’m married to Andrei, and we decide to have babies, my bleeding will stop and that’s how I’ll know that I’m pregnant with his child. Tati warns me that it’s especially important now that I never let any man, besides Andrei, touch me.

  I adamantly tell Tati that all boys are gross except Andrei, and I would never want them to touch me!

  Tati tuts approvingly, then gives me a hug a kiss on the top of my head, before teaching me how to take care of myself during the times of the month that I bleed.

  I never realized how serious being eleven was, before tonight. Like Tati said, today I became a woman, the first step towards becoming Andrei’s wife. In a few years we would get married in front of all his friends, Zoya, Tati, and our dads. Then we would get to have a family of our own.

  Tati tucks me into bed and I fall asleep with dreams of what Andrei will look like on the day we get married. I imagine us having blonde-haired sons and daughters, just like me.

  Age 15

  I rush around my bedroom trying to get ready for tonight. I have clothes piled on my bed and strewn about the floor. I need to find the perfect outfit. I hold up a long sleeved pale blue dress, looking at my reflection in the mirror. Pale blue is my favorite color, but this dress makes me look like I’m headed to the nunnery, it buttons all the way up the neck! I throw it into my discarded pile of clothing. Everything I have is so modest.

  I want to look beautiful for Andrei tonight, it’s our first real date. Father told me if I aced all of my end of year exams, Andrei and I could go out to dinner by ourselves. A real dinner date, like in the movies.

  Andrei always tells me about the great restaurants he gets to go to with all of his friends. We’ve been engaged for eight years, before either of us became teenagers. Andrei is four years older than me. I can’t imagine what it was like for Andrei, having to listen to all of his friend
s talk about dating and having to wait for me to grow up.

  Andrei has never treated our engagement like a burden though, he makes loads of time for me and is always so sweet. I’m confident he’s thought about having his first date for much longer than I have and planned something special.

  I’m nearing the end of my wardrobe, when I finally settle on a short sleeved floral sundress. It has a slight V-neck and ends about mid-thigh. I throw on a pair of low-heeled sandals and fluff out the blonde curls cascading down my back. A few swipes of mascara, some pink lip gloss, and a hint of blush and I’m ready.

  Puttering around my room to kill time, I wait until the last minute to head downstairs. I don’t want my father to have a chance to change his mind about my date. Once its late enough that I’m confident Andrei has arrived, I finally leave my room. I step off the last step, expecting Andrei to be waiting for me in the foyer, but he’s nowhere in sight.

  He’s always been early in the past and bearing flowers when he comes to visit me. Now that we’re older, and engaged, my Father demands a chaperone any time Andrei is in the house. Usually it’s a body guard, but sometimes it’s Zoya. Our visits typically consist of sitting in the living room to have conversations, watch movies, or play games.