Moonlight Whispers: A Reverse Harem Shifter Romance (The Witch and the Wolf Pack Book 8)

by K. R. Alexander

  “Thank you.” Isaac nodded once. “I cannot abide living in the spirit of fear and clutching all we desire as if it will be ripped away. Living in the spirit of confidence and giving is infinitely more pleasant—not only for the person doing the living but for those around us. My time with you is precious. When you spend time with someone else it is not my affair unless I make it my own, which I have no wish to do. I draw the line only in regard to those worlds mixing. What you do with someone else on your time versus what you do with someone else while I am with you … that’s where my weaknesses shine.”

  I thought of Andrew in Yorkshire and the bed and breakfast. The way it was uncomfortable to be with Isaac and Zar together. The way Isaac would calmly stare down others and they tended to back off.

  “No bed sharing,” I said. “That’s perfectly reasonable. I’d say much more secure and self-confident than most males in your position would be. You always seem to tolerate the others fine in our day-to-day sort of interactions.”

  “That much is true. They don’t intimidate me precisely because of your standards—as we discussed.”

  “That is … incredibly condescending. Like they’re the college football team and you’re in the NFL, so obviously you’re not bothered by them. But … I get it. You still respect them because you all have this shared love of the game. While you also lose your temper with them since you have your own high standards that they fail to live up to. I wish you wouldn’t kick them in the head or strangle them or chew them out in front of everyone even if they deserve it.”

  “Then you do see they deserve it?”

  “That is completely beside the point. I can’t believe that’s the one thing you would connect to in what I just said.”

  “What would you prefer I commented upon?”

  “I don’t know… The shared love of the game? Your own resolve to keep your temper in check since it’s part of my standards that we don’t kick each other in the head?”

  “I cannot promise that. Not around the company we keep and knowing myself well enough to understand my limited tolerance for certain actions from others—particularly where you are involved. As to the shared love of the game, it forges a respect between us, yet it also creates friction. If I could have hand-picked shared objects of your affection my first choice would have been to talk you out of such a thing. However, if it made you happy, and you were set on it, I would not have chosen specimens from your college football teams. I’d have climbed Mount Olympus in an effort to choose a pack for you worthy of that distinction.”

  “Is that so?”

  “I am not proud of my own arrogance. It is a character flaw. I am, however, proud to have high standards, and one must have at least a certain level of self-confidence to have such standards. At the same time, I can respect your choices in other males at least for the compassion it shows in your own spirit—which I love about you.”

  “Right … so … that’s like respecting someone for taking in a bunch of stray, mangy dogs instead of adopting a champion purebred?”

  Isaac smiled in a commiserating fashion; sharing a secret with me. “I wouldn’t say ‘mangy,’ Cassia. You’re getting carried away. This pack has diverse skills—intelligence, charm, musical talent, and even physical attractiveness far beyond just the two of us.”

  “See, that’s so secure. I never knew.”

  “Luath taught me that—the father in the fox family. He said … if you are uncomfortable with someone else, say they’re making you wait in line or they’re in the job you want or they got a raise when you didn’t and you’re feeling at the bottom of the ladder, you can react in fear: they’re better than me, what did I do wrong? Or in anger: I hate them, they have no right to do better than me. Or in confidence and compassion: better luck for me next time, at least someone’s getting a raise around here, it’s a good sign, and he deserves that job, he’s really good at what he does. More good things will always be coming my way.”

  Isaac shrugged, smiling. “I believe in that choice. I have my flaws, but I have my strengths as well. I will never allow myself to live by fear again. This Moon, this day, is the reason we are here. To listen and learn something in this lifetime and love each other is our mission. Fear that we are losing, or someone has something over us, only poisons the water.”

  “But you don’t think it’s poisoning the water to kick a packmate in the head?”

  Another little shrug. “I would say that’s circumstantial. For someone making light of assault and suicide, and who does not listen to much of what anyone else says but understands the language of violence, I think it can drive home a lesson not otherwise learnt. That doesn’t make me ‘right.’ I don’t think on principle that anyone should be violent. It shouldn’t come up again. Jed’s attitude has dramatically improved since you came along. You may not see it since you didn’t know him before, but he was downright dangerous. Wolves stayed away from him. They still do.”

  “Yes, I thought his attitude had changed. Until what he just did to you.”

  Isaac shook his head. “He did nothing that the others would not have. That is, Zar would have done the same. He’d have been sure such a rumor couldn’t be true. And Kage would have behaved just like Jed. I doubt Jason would have said anything. He would wait until such a time that he might want a weapon against me. Andrew would have asked me about it in private. But … not all so different, really. Jed was no special villain here. If anyone ever found out, the whole pack would find out. I’ve always known that.”

  “You can’t lose the Sables. Not now that you have a pack. Do I have your permission to tell Zar about the Icelandic wolves? Explain it in more understandable terms, like you did for me? That there are others?”

  Isaac looked away and I had to wait before he answered. “They don’t want to be known, Cassia. That’s the whole point. It could destroy their lives.”

  “Not this. I’m not naming names. We have no idea about other wolves like you in Britain. It’s knowing they’re out there that could help people like Zar and Jed come to terms with the idea of shifting hybrids. If Zar can’t make sense of this he’s not able to deal with it. All they have is fear and confusion. With the story of the Icelandic wolves, and the doctor you saw, they can process this and let go of that fear. Don’t you think it’s worth talking with Zar? Or me telling him what you told me? He’ll respect the bigger picture. He’s a scholar himself. He wants to make sense of this. Then we can talk with the others from there.”

  Still, Isaac hesitated. He nodded. “If you make it clear that there is not some big population of hybrids in Iceland. That there just happens to be this gene, this component from there, and now there are a small number of hybrids living as wolves in multiple countries.”

  “Of course. And, Isaac, I really don’t think they’ve said anything to anyone at home. They hardly keep in touch at all. With everything else Zar’s family is having to worry about right now… The greater Sable Pack may still never even know about you. An unfair way to live, but as long as it’s true, that you are a wolf, I don’t see how it should make any difference to anyone. That’s up to you to keep to yourself.”

  “Very high-minded.” He smiled at his water glass, turning it slowly on the table in his fingertips.

  “And you’re very arrogant. I guess it was meant to be.”

  He glanced at me and away.

  What else was he thinking? Why wasn’t he—?

  The waiter removed our plates and I asked for the bill. It was considered rude, rushing diners out before they were ready, to plop the thing down on the table unasked.

  “Dessert?” Isaac asked me.

  “I’m sure it would be delicious, but no. The others are waiting, it’s late, and we’ll be snacking on ice cream or pastries tomorrow if we’re waiting around outside the house.”

  “We need to figure out about that.”

  “We’ll talk in the morning.”

  All at once, it was over: we were pulling on jackets and heading back t
o the hotel in a hush that came with all five of us together.

  I would talk to Isaac in the room, ask what he was thinking, ask about this change in him. But that didn’t work out either.

  I had a room alone with him because no one else was on speaking terms with him, but it sparked an argument about my safety and staying with one alone and the problems therein.

  More bad blood by the time I was finally going to bed—with only Isaac in there sitting on the foot of the bed.

  I remembered to ask but, before I could, he stood and told me he was going to change. Of course, he didn’t think this was safe either. If he were in fur, he’d wake at every noise.

  “Only if you promise not to shed,” I said, opening the window to cool the room and minimize this. Luckily, pets were allowed.

  A few minutes later he hopped up on the bed beside me and I remembered only then about Andrew’s warning that Isaac might be able to smell human pregnancy.

  The huge, pure white wolf flopped on the bed by me with a sigh, head by my chest. He yawned and rolled on his side so his back was to me, long limbs stretched off the side of the bed. I stroked his neck, which was dense, plush and wooly, softer than Jed’s coat, thicker than Jason’s.

  After minutes in the dark and quiet, I changed my mind. I could go ahead and say what I wanted. Maybe easier this way. He could think about his answer and tell me in the morning.

  “Isaac?” I whispered in traffic sounds from four floors below and a new fall of rain. “I wanted to know … what you’re thinking about us. Because you … stopped calling me arä and I feel like either you’re needing to step back, maybe from having to see Madison, dealing with the pack’s reactions, all of this… Or else you think I’m stepping back because I’m upset about the lies—or anything else. I’m not angry with you. I’m sorry about how things worked out. I’m grateful you trust me enough now to open up. I love you. Things don’t have to change between us. But we do need to work with the rest of the pack. I have to talk with Zar and Jason and Andrew about what’s been happening lately, and we need to keep it together. It’s not just about us. So you let me know how you feel when you’re ready. And maybe we can talk to Zar tomorrow and start to heal some of this rift. Okay? Just … think about it.”

  Isaac stretched out his neck and sighed again, his muzzle resting at the edge of the thin pillow before my face.

  I kissed the top of his muzzle. “Thank you, Isaac.”

  I was still awake, still running over a dozen things in my mind, listening to the noise outside, but an hour or more later, should have been asleep, when Isaac lifted his head and growled at the door.

  Chapter 30

  Maybe I’d been more asleep than I’d thought. It took me a second to make sense of the sound as Isaac sat up on the bed. In his fur. I had to tell him I was pregnant. He was going to figure it out. Lies and keeping secrets… They had to know…

  But they couldn’t know because … we had this thing going on. This … hunting murderers and almost getting killed and problems in our relationships thing…

  Not that it mattered what I thought just at that moment.

  I sat up also, chilled both by the cool room and by Isaac’s warning.

  I wanted to tell him it was nothing, only other guests, but I didn’t make a noise. I watched in the semi-dark with outside lights filtering through the curtains as Isaac cast me a quick glare that I knew—a warning to stay where I was—and eased himself silently off the bed. He padded slowly and stealthily to the door, head low, and froze.

  I was pretty sure the fur down his spine bristled. He listened, scented, all silent, then stepped right to the door to put his nose to the crack at the bottom.

  Watching him, I felt more and more creeped out, breaths tight, hand drifting to the phone on the bedside table to call Andrew.

  Isaac lifted his head sharply with a snuffling sound, puffing out air through his nose. He looked around at me, then the door, tossing his head.

  “You want me to open it?” I whispered. “Is there someone out there?”

  He gazed at the door handle.

  Mouth dry, I slipped from bed. It was only a few steps around the bed, then over to him, all while I called up magic for … I wasn’t sure.

  Isaac took a couple of steps back and I opened it.

  Something fell into the room.

  I jumped and shouted—“Ah!”

  While the figure also scrambled back, already on the ground, but having been leaned up against the door. “Sorry!” Long black hair.

  “Zar? What are you doing?”

  Zar scrambled to his knees on the tile floor below the harsh hallway lights. He stared at Isaac, his head by my hip, then up at me.

  “Sorry, Cass. I didn’t mean to disturb you—”

  “You were going to sleep at our door?”

  “I … we didn’t… We should stick together, Cass. It’s not safe…”

  “I’m fine. I have a phone. You’re right downstairs. Or you’re supposed to be.”

  Zar swallowed. “I’m sorry.”

  “You can’t sleep out here.”

  Zar chewed on his lip, regarding my ankles, apparently giving that some thought. Isaac walked away, as if to offer us space, though the dimensions of the room did not allow for it.

  I just stood there, feeling terrible for him but unsure what to say, how to help the situation. Zar sat on his heels, unwilling to leave but trying to capitulate in any other way, eyes down, shoulders a little sideways to me. I totally agree with everything you say and I’m sorry, but I’m not leaving you alone with only one wolf to look after you.

  He swallowed again.

  “Have they been horrible?” I asked.

  “What?” He glanced up.

  “Andrew and Jason? Are they being awful to each other or have they been okay?”

  “Oh… They’re all right. It was another Moon. Brothers fight. Jason’s upset about leaving Kage. Andrew’s upset with Jason for how he spoke to you. Not about fighting with each other.”

  “Okay. I’m glad. I felt bad about you trapped in the middle on a dinner date and hotel room with them.”

  Zar shook his head. “It’s fine, Cass. They don’t bother me. I’d never had much to do with either one before all this—working with you. Jed’s the one who hates Jason. And, honestly, I think more so than he has any right to. As far as I’m aware, what Jason said was true about Jed and Kage. I don’t know…” Again shaking his head, one-shoulder shrug as if to indicate he had nothing to add on the matter. Yet the fact that he’d said so much without needing to, mostly while not looking at me, made me think of more lies. Andrew and Jason almost certainly had been making life uncomfortable for him all day.

  “Why don’t you go back to bed?” I sighed, stopping. He’d likely be sleeping on the floor with them anyway. “Zar…”

  “I could change. Like Isaac. It would be safer. And more comfortable. Then I’ll just sleep here. I won’t bother you again.”

  “Here in the hall? In fur?”

  “Oh…” Zar looked around as if he hadn’t noticed he was sitting in the hall of a public hotel that was, of course, well-lit all night.

  “You can come in here and curl up at the door.”

  Zar glanced at me.

  I returned to bed. “Shut the door and fold your clothes in the bathroom so no one’s tripping if we’re up before you.”

  Isaac lay in Sphinx position, forepaws at the foot of the bed as he watched me.

  “Sorry,” I murmured. “He’ll stay over there.” Not that it was far away.

  Isaac did not seem offended, though he did fix Zar with his intense green eyes as the latter crept in and shut the door, vanishing the light from the hall.

  Now chilled, I pulled covers over me and huddled down while Isaac stood. Looming above me, he pawed up the edge of his bedspread and I pulled that onto me as well. He circled twice, huge paws together, then flopped down in a loose curl by my chest.

  “Why do you do that?” I whisper
ed.

  “What?” Zar asked. He was just standing up from the floor, eyes getting used to the dark.

  “Turn in circles before you lie down in fur?”

  “For our bed.”

  “What?”

  “You know.” Like this was obvious. “If you’re out in fur you have to pad around a space for your body, make sure it suits. You don’t have hands to flick away rocks and sticks. But you can pad for a feel, scratch a bit, even dig a scrape. A scrape is nice—just a couple inches even—if you’re hot or cold. Either to reach cool earth or have a hollow to warm with your body heat.”

  “But he’s on a bed. There’s no debris to clear out.” Yet I thought of Andrew digging up my sleeping bag into a heap when he’d been freezing in the Rocky Mountains.

  “Still making a space. If you’re going to curl up you might as well do it right.” Zar didn’t need to bother with the light in the tiny bathroom. He undressed in there in the dark while I drew up my knees and slipped my fingers into Isaac’s coat to warm.

  “Uh…” Zar came back into view, a distinct but black figure showing up from the filtered yellow light outside. He twisted his shirt nervously in both hands, then bent to pull off his motorcycle boots. He straightened, cleared his throat, twisted his shirt.

  His naked skin of chest and arms and shoulders was faintly highlighted by the curtain light. He had very little body hair, though the hair on his head touched his shoulders now, providing a faint shield since he’d just leaned forward.

  Not for the first time it crossed my mind how young he was. The baby brother of three, the sensitive musician who had mundane romance novels in his bedroom—which I believed were intended to offer tips on women—and had admitted to me that one of his favorite things were beautiful reflections in water. We’d never much discussed ages, but he couldn’t be far past twenty—certainly the youngest in the group.