Blended with Pain: Notorious Devils (Cash Bar Book 4)

by Hayley Faiman

  I watch him as he opens the bedroom door. He looks back at me, and I swear it looks like he wants to say something, but he doesn’t. “I’ll get Axe and Roxie, meet us in the bar, yeah?”

  Nodding, I try not to show him any emotion, though I’m sure he can read my disappointment clear as day on my face. “Okay,” I smile.

  He leaves and when the door closes, my heart feels like it breaks a little. I can’t expect him to offer me the world after a week. I can’t. I know that I can’t, but I’m so damn scared about what tomorrow will bring that I’m driving myself fucking crazy.

  I quickly dress in my last pair of clean jeans and my last top, which is a crop top. Hopefully he doesn’t have to lay his bike down today, because I have a feeling a crop top isn’t going to do me any favors with road rash.

  Packing my dirty clothes with the rest, I grab my toothbrush and hurry toward a bathroom. Once my teeth are cleaned, I go back into the room, make the bed, and zip up my suitcase. Carrying it down to the bar, I’m surprised to see it’s filled with people. There is a buffet set up, and two pretty blondes and a gorgeous brunette serving up food person-by-person.

  Setting my bag down by the door, I hurry over and grab a plate before getting in line. I’m starving, and Ace was right, these women definitely look like Old Ladies. They all offer me a kind smile as they pile food on my plate.

  Once I’m through the line, I turn toward the room and find Ace and Axe sitting next to one another at a table. I hurry over to them and sink down next to Axe. Setting my foot down, I turn and press my lips to the top of Axe’s head, my eyes lifting to see Ace looking right at me.

  “You good?” he asks.

  I give him my fakest smile and I nod. “Just being emotional,” I shrug.

  He doesn’t respond, probably scared to death that I’ll tell him I’m about to start my period or something. We eat in silence, well almost in silence, Axe has plenty to say and he tells us all about the ninja dream he had last night.

  CHAPTER SIXTEEN

  KEYS

  LEAVING IDAHO, Fury assures me that he and his dad have Montana handled, and not to worry. I believe that he has the shit with that club on lockdown, however, that doesn’t take away my worry. Skull will know who put his club on Fury and MadDog’s radar. He will retaliate, and I have a feeling shit will get fuckin’ ugly when he does. I have no doubt that he will come straight for me, Houston, and Baby.

  Carson holds tightly to my stomach, her body pressed so fucking close to my back that I can feel every part of her. Something is wrong. She won’t talk to me, but I can tell that something is very fuckin’ wrong with her. It’s all in her head of course. She’s an overthinker, and she overanalyzes. We’ll be home soon, and then maybe once we get in a place, she’ll be able to settle—once she knows exactly what’s expected of her.

  Right before we arrive at the border, I text our contact to ask which entrance we should pull up to. His response is immediate, and I lift my chin behind me to my group to follow. We take the two lanes that my contact instructed.

  “Morning officer,” I smile, giving him a shake of my hand.

  “Enjoy Canada,” he says, tipping his chin.

  It sounds too easy to be true, but it is. For now. Shit changes in our world almost daily. For now, the envelope full of cash that I discretely passed to him is enough to satisfy both he and his partner to allow us passage into Canada.

  Once we’re over the border, I signal to pull off the road and toward a gas station. I can feel Carson trembling behind me. She’s fucking terrified, and I can’t shake the feeling that there’s more to this than her just being insecure about how quickly we’re moving.

  “You better talk to me now, when we get to the clubhouse, I won’t have the time,” I announce as soon as I kill my engine.

  Carson slips off from behind me, and I watch as she begins to walk away. There isn’t much around here, so I know it’s not to run from me, but rather to get away from the big ears of the other people around us. I kick my stand down, then lift my chin to Baby who chuckles as I walk past him.

  She stops just at the edge of the pavement. It ends, and the blue skies are all we can see in front of us, endless fucking blue skies and big fucking puffy clouds. It’s just as pretty as Texas, and a fuck’ve a lot cooler.

  Slipping my hand around her waist, I tug her back against my chest, pressing my lips to the side of her neck that is free from her braided hair. “I’m not going to ask you to talk to me again, Carson. This is the last time,” I say.

  I feel her belly tremble between my fingers as she attempts to breathe evenly, but fails. She shakes her head. Refusing yet again to tell me what’s going on in that fucking head of hers. Releasing her, I take a step back. She turns around, her eyes dragging up my chest slowly until they reach my own gaze.

  “You’re sure there’s nobody waiting for you, right?” she asks.

  Balling my fist up, I place it on my hip and let out a heavy breath. “I wouldn’t claim you if there were,” I state.

  I’m forcing myself to keep most of my body loose, but inside I’m tense and ready to throttle her for even suggesting what she’s fucking suggesting. She nods, her teeth biting the corner of her bottom lip before she lets out a heavy exhale.

  “Carson,” I warn. She’s fucking exhausting, and if her cunt didn’t feel as good as it did, I would not even be standing here having this pointless fucking conversation. “You and Axe are mine now. The more you question me on it…” I let the warning hang heavy in the air.

  She frowns, her gaze dropping and I take in the length of her lashes. She’s fucking beautiful. Downright gorgeous. Why I didn’t snatch her up for myself all those years ago, I’ll never know. I was a fucking idiot though. I should have kept her.

  Fuck Sadie, she was a pain in my ass, a druggie and a bitch. Carson is Sadie’s exact opposite and if I were thinking with my head, rather than my cock all those years ago, I could have had everything this entire time.

  “Okay, Ace,” she nods. “I just, I called you four years ago and there was a girl in the background, she called you baby. I just… I thought you’d moved on and were happy. I don’t want to ruin your life,” she whispers.

  I should laugh in her face. If it didn’t piss me off so goddamn much, I might. “There’s no one,” I grind out.

  Turning my back to her, I walk back to the bikes. I know she’ll be behind me, she’ll be a good girl and follow. I’m a fucking dick, I know, but Carson isn’t going anywhere. I’m going to mark her and keep her. Hold her under my thumb and bend her to my will. The past is the past. I can’t change it, and neither can she. We’re going to move on, and she’s going to be mine.

  “Ready?” Baby asks with a big assed grin on his face.

  Pulling my fist back, I punch him in the shoulder. I watch as he jerks back, his eyes narrowing at me before he spits on the ground. “Don’t fuck with me, I’ll flatten you,” I growl.

  “Calm the fuck down, your woman on the rag? Shit,” he hisses. “You need to get laid.”

  I almost tell him I did this morning, but I don’t. I level him with a glare and he just flips me off before turning away from me. I watch as he straddles his bike, then feel Carson’s hand pressing against my lower back.

  Turning my head slowly, I look down at her. “Don’t give me any goddamn shit, Carson. You’re coming into my world now, you’ll fucking behave,” I growl. Her eyes widen, and she gasps, but doesn’t speak, not that I really allow her to.

  Walking over to my bike, I straddle it, starting it and wait for her to join me. My once good mood from this morning has vanished. This thing between me and Carson feels like it’s on a fast road to fucking hell.

  CARSON

  I’M FUMING. I’m scared. I’m downright uneasy. Ace ignores me the rest of the way to the clubhouse. Not that he can really talk to me, but the sweet little touches to my leg, or my hands, they cease. He’s mad. I’m mad. We’re almost there, and I want to scream and cry out of frustration.


  The entrance comes into view and my anger immediately takes a backseat when we pull up to the gate. It’s like every other gate that we’ve pulled up to on this cross-country trek, but it’s also unlike all of them at the same time. This is the one, Ace’s. This is the place where it matters if they like or hate me. This is his home, his people. I’m nobody, nothing, a complete stranger, not only to them but to their world.

  Passing through the gate, Ace parks his bike in the rocky parking area. There are people all around, watching us. Baby, Houston, and Roxanne park around us. I glance back at Roxie, but she doesn’t open the car door immediately. I’m glad for it. I want to take Axe out myself. Once the kickstand is down, I scramble off of the bike. I rub my hands down my jeans, trying to get the sweat off of them.

  Immediately, I curse myself for the crop top I’m wearing. The people watching me, the more that have gathered around, they probably think I’m one of those gross club girls, like that chick who shot ice out of her vagina.

  Ace reaches for my arm, but I shrug out of his grasp, hurrying over to the car. Wrenching open the back door, I reach in and unbuckle Axe.

  “CarCar, are we here?” he asks, his voice sweet and hopeful.

  Picking him up, even though he’s heavy as hell, I hold him against my hip. I’m terrified to let him down, scared that Ace will decide I’m not worth the trouble and take him from me, then cast me away. “We’re here,” I whisper.

  “What in the hell, brother?” I hear a deep voice boom.

  Glancing up, I watch as a tall dark haired man makes his way toward us. He’s wearing the same matching vest as Ace, as they all wear, except he carries himself differently than everyone else. I recognize the way he walks, the confidence. He’s the president. He has to be.

  “Need to talk to you, about something other than Fish, obviously,” Ace chuckles.

  “Two bitches, and a kid, uh yeah you fucking do,” the man snorts.

  I wince at his words. Ace doesn’t even look back at me. He’s angry with me, and that’s fine, in fact, it’s probably better. He can just be done with me now, rather than later. It would just serve everyone better, anyway, in the long run.

  As long as I get to continue to see Axe, I’ll be okay. I lie to myself. I’ve become greedy and downright addicted to him, to his cock, to his mouth. I don’t know if I’ll be able to survive without being at his side, and in his bed, and that thought alone is scary as hell. Which is why it would be better to be done now. If we continued any further, I would just become even more addicted.

  “Think we need a meeting, now,” the president announces. “Bring the girls and the kid,” he grunts. I watch him turn away and then walk into the building.

  Ace doesn’t say anything to me. Instead, he waits until I reach his side, then slips his hand against my lower back. The move is seemingly tender, but I know it for what it is—it’s claiming. He’s staking his claim in front of all of his friends, his brothers as he calls them.

  “CarCar, we gonna lib here?” Axe asks.

  Lifting my hand, I run my fingers through his hair and tug him a little closer to me so that his cheek rests against my chest. “I don’t know,” I say softly into his ear. Because I don’t know. Not really. I have no clue what awaits us once we walk past the threshold of this building.

  There is music playing, but it’s a low hum, a bass and beat that is sensual and sexy. I don’t look around the room, I’m afraid to, afraid of what I’ll see. We continue following the president until we’re led into his office.

  Axe wiggles in my arms and I glance around to see if I can let him down when my eye catches a play area. “Got a rugrat myself, he can play with her toys,” he offers.

  I set Axe down on his feet, then crouch down in front of him and make him focus on my face. “You be kind to her toys, okay. You’re just borrowing them,” I murmur.

  “I know CarCar,” he sighs, completely exasperated by me.

  He runs away to the corner of the room where there are buckets of Legos and other miscellaneous toys. The president of the club is watching me when I turn to look up at him. He smiles, and his eyes crinkle in the corners. He looks tired but nice enough.

  “Axe is mine,” Ace announces.

  The man looks from me to Ace and tilts his head to the side. “I’m going to need more than that. He didn’t call her mama, so I’m assuming he knows she ain’t that,” he says, lifting his hand to point to me.

  Clearing my throat, I decide to explain this part. “Ace and my sister dated.” Ace snorts when I say the word dated, and I tilt my head to the side waiting for him to say something else, but he doesn’t. “They broke up and she was pregnant. She never told him, she didn’t want to. I respected her wishes,” I whisper.

  “The bitch was on drugs. OD’d while my son cried in his crib, only a month old,” Ace grinds out.

  The president’s head swiftly turns from Ace to me. “We don’t supply here. We don’t imbibe. We don’t have merchandise. You won’t find that shit here. Judging by your lack of ass and tits, I assume you’re using too. I won’t have that shit in my club, around my kids or anyone else’s.”

  “Snake,” Baby says in a warning tone.

  Ace doesn’t say a damn thing though. He stays completely silent while this man judges me. This, Snake, he’s already decided I’m like Sadie. And why not? I’m skinny, so it must mean I’m a meth head just like her. He doesn’t know that I’m this way because I was malnourished for most of my young life. He doesn’t know that if I could gain weight, I would. To look normal? That would be a blessing.

  Snake holds his hand up. “Don’t give a fuck, just putting it out there. Who is this one?” he asks, pointing to Roxanne.

  “I was Carson’s neighbor. She was leaving, and I needed an adventure,” she shrugs, lying to the man. I don’t correct her though, because this guy is a dickhead.

  He nods, his eyes trailing up and down Roxanne’s curvy lush body. He must decide she’s not a druggie, so he doesn’t give her the same speech he gave me. “They can stay in the trailer behind Cash Bar,” Snake announces. Then he looks directly at me when he speaks again. “You don’t get to live there for free. You’ll see my wife first thing in the afternoon, she’ll set you up with a schedule. You live there, you work at the bar. You take drug tests, one dirty test and you’re on your ass.”

  “What kind of bar is it?” Roxanne asks, lifting a brow, ignoring the drug test part. “Because I honestly don’t mind working at a tittie bar,” she says, and I hear Houston growl somewhere behind us.

  Snake chuckles, his eyes going from Houston behind us, then back to Roxanne. “It’s just a roughneck bar. Beer and liquor, nothing fancy,” he says.

  “I can do that,” Roxanne shrugs. “Carson can too. She was the best waitress in the most popular diner in hill country.”

  Turning my head, I give my friend a small smile. Her words mean more than she could ever know, especially right now with Snake’s scrutiny focused directly on me.

  “We’ll see,” Snake grunts. “You girls go into the bar here. Take the boy. We’ll be out in a minute,” he states.

  Axe hurries over to me, wrapping his hand in mine and I let out a breath at the feel of his little soft hand in mine. Walking toward the door, Ace takes my wrist and holds me, not allowing me to walk out of the room.

  “Be good,” he warns.

  I ignore him, yanking my hand out of his grip. He didn’t defend me for even a second, didn’t even try. He let his president believe that I’m some kind of druggie, some leech. Well. Fuck. Him. Fuck him and his whole club.

  Ace may want to claim me, or whatever, but I have news for him. He can go fuck himself. I knew this is what was going to happen. I knew it, and yet, I allowed him inside of me. Hell, welcomed him with waiting arms, thinking that having a few days with him would be worth us not working out. Well, I was wrong. So very wrong.

  I feel betrayed.

  I’m supposed to be for all intents and purposes the mother
of his child, and this is how he treats me?

  Well, not today.

  Not. Today.

  CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

  KEYS

  “WE GOT HIS LAPTOPS AND PHONES,” Snake announces as soon as the women leave his office.

  Frowning, I look up when the door opens. The room fills with more people. Skinner, Crooner, and Free walk in. Snake has just told me, Baby, and Houston about Fish. Traitor. It doesn’t sit right with me though. He told Whitley that he was in charge of Texas, that he had shit in place in case he died.

  Montana, Skull, they flash in my mind and I wonder if he’s what he had in place, that they’re going to do something for him, or at least attempt to do something. I need to figure it out.

  “Obviously, we need you on this, Keys. Don’t know anyone else that could hack into his systems. He didn’t have one of his computers locked, but we didn’t really find much on it. We need the leaders of Montana and Wyoming brought up here. MadDog agrees. Talked to him while you were traveling home,” Snake explains.

  “Skull, too,” I suggest.

  Snake narrows his eyes, another traitor in our brotherhood. Fucking shit, these bastards need to be vetted a little better, or at least watched a little closer. Lifting my hand, I scrub it down my face.

  “Your girls will be set up at the trailer. Ginger and the Old Ladies will see to them,” he offers.

  I nod. I should really make sure they’re all set up properly. I don’t have the time though. This is top of my priority list, as it should be. Carson is a survivor, she’ll be okay. Also, living behind the Cash Bar is the safest place for her right now, her and Axe.

  Once all this shit is figured out, and we have the real story, then I’ll worry about getting us a place and settling. For now, she’s just going to have to understand.

  “Laptops are locked in your room, figured that’s where you’d want to get busy. It’s quieter in there than anywhere else,” Snake announces. Lifting my chin, I stand. “Wait just a second. Everyone out,” Snake growls.