Blended with Pain: Notorious Devils (Cash Bar Book 4)

by Hayley Faiman

  KEYS

  I CHUCKLE. It’s like bitches can smell other pussy anywhere near their man. Lifting my hand from my side, I wrap my fingers around the side of Carson’s neck and give her a gentle squeeze.

  “I was working. I hardly ate or slept. No bitches,” I say.

  The little girl from yesterday crosses my mind, but looking into Carson’s wet eyes, I don’t know what I was thinking. She doesn’t hold a candle to the woman in front of me. After a good twelve hours of sleep, I shook off the bullshit that had been swirling in my head, my own fucking stubborn foolishness, and I came to get my woman.

  “I hate it when you call women, bitches,” she sighs.

  Turning my head, I glance to the side to make sure Axe listened to me and went indoors with Roxie. He did. I slip my hand down the front of Carson’s throat, trailing my fingers down the center of her chest, feeling her stomach muscles jump and tremble beneath my touch until I’m able to cup her pussy over her jeans.

  “Sorry, Sweet Pea, that’s just the man I am. You’ll get used to it,” I say squeezing her.

  I watch as her eyes widen and she shakes her head. “Ace,” her voice trembles.

  “Been over a week since I had you,” I inform her. She bites the corner of her lip and nods.

  Shaking my head, trying to get out of the thoughts that are filling my mind, thoughts of her, her pussy and how fantastic she feels when she’s taking my dick, I growl. I don’t have anywhere to take her. Roxie is in the trailer with Axe. The bar is full of people, and there are no fucking outbuildings on this property. We need our own place, and fuckin’ fast.

  Releasing her cunt, I take a step back. Breathing in and out, I attempt to calm myself down. “Don’t let any man touch you again,” I grunt. “I’ll spank your ass, I see anything like that shit again.”

  Spinning on my heel, I turn and walk away from her, stomping up the step and walking through the door, letting it slam behind me.

  “Daddy,” Axe calls.

  Glancing down at him I’m surprised to see him sitting on the sofa, coloring. “Hey, buddy,” I say, trying to keep my voice even and calm.

  “It’s dinner time?” he asks. His big blue eyes stare up at me and I open, then close my mouth. Does he want me to cook for him? Fuck, I don’t know how to do that shit.

  His attention moves from me, and I watch him scramble down from the sofa and run past me. Turning around, I watch as he throws himself against Carson. “CarCar,” he cries.

  Movement to my side causes me to redirect my attention over to Roxanne. She stands, a blank stare on her face. I frown as I watch her, she starts to walk away.

  “Roxie?” Carson calls.

  Roxanne turns to her and gives her a sad as fuck looking smile. “Just tired. I’m working tomorrow. I’m going to bed,” she announces and then she turns and walks away.

  “She didn’t look okay,” Carson whispers.

  My gaze swings back to her and I frown. “She didn’t,” I agree.

  “Tacos,” Axe cries.

  Carson’s face shifts from looking concerned to looking completely at ease and blissful. “Tacos it is,” she smiles.

  Fuck she’s pretty. Hands down, prettiest thing I’ve ever had in my fucking bed. “Ace?” she asks. I shake my head, shaking myself of my thoughts and give her a grin. “Yeah?”

  “Do you want to stay for tacos?” she asks, looking slightly nervous.

  I lift my chin. “Yeah, Carson, I do.”

  She turns, and I watch her ass take the few steps toward the kitchen, but I’m unable to continue to watch as Axe takes my hand and tugs me into the living room. “Play car ninjas,” he orders before he plops his ass down on the floor.

  “Car ninjas?” I ask.

  He nods, handing me a Matchbox car. “They fly, they’re ninjas and they’re protecting the world from evil,” he explains as if it’s the simplest and most real fucking thing in the world. I chuckle and for the next thirty minutes, I play car ninjas with my kid.

  “Food’s ready,” Carson calls out. Axe and I are both mid-attack with our car ninjas, but he drops his like it’s on fire and sprints toward the table. “Go wash up,” Carson chuckles, tousling his hair.

  Axe then sprints past me to the bathroom and I hear the water run for approximately two seconds before it turns off.

  “There’s no way he used soap,” she sighs.

  I chuckle, shaking my head. “Sorry, Sweet Pea, consensus would agree, no soap.”

  Together the three of us sit down at the table. I look around, noticing that the chairs are all mismatched. “Where’d you get all this furniture?” I ask.

  When she doesn’t answer right away, I turn my gaze back toward her. Axe is happily eating, actually humming as he shoves his taco in his mouth. My lips twitch, loving his personality, and cursing myself for spending so much time away from him.

  “Ginger had people bring it over. Traci and Ice,” she explains. “Ice called a couple of people to bring more stuff when he saw what we didn’t have,” she says, lifting her shoulder.

  I frown, dropping my food. “So all this shit is because they didn’t think I was taking care of you?” I growl.

  She looks to Axe, then back over to me and shrugs again. I fucking hate it, her shrug, her silence. I want to shake her, slap her, make her talk to me. “Ginger is letting us stay here rent free, we could have saved up for furniture and stuff eventually, but they wouldn’t let us say no.”

  Shoving away from the table, the chair makes a screeching sound as I push it back, and stand up. “I can provide for you. You won’t be living here rent free, because you won’t be living here at all. I’m getting us a place, tomorrow,” I announce, surprising even myself. I hadn’t planned on going house hunting tomorrow, but I guess we are now.

  “Ace,” she whispers, looking down at her lap. “We’re going to stay here.”

  Stumbling backward, I start to pant, breathing heavily as I look down at her. Carson lifts her gaze to me, and I see the wetness shimmering in her eyes. I look over at Axe who has abandoned his taco and is now looking between us.

  “Continue,” I growl.

  “Axe,” she hisses.

  I shake my head, selfishly, stubbornly not letting this rest until later. “Now,” I bark, making them both jump.

  “You’re Axe’s father. I’m his aunt. We shouldn’t be together. Roxie and I got this,” she whispers.

  I shake my head, lifting my hand to wrap my fingers around my neck. “You’re mine, Carson. Axe is mine. You’ll be living with me or you won’t see him anymore,” I announce.

  “CarCar?” Axe whimpers.

  I watch as she reaches across the table, pulling him into her lap to console him. I know that I’m not fair, the thing is, I don’t give much of a fuck either.

  “Be ready to go house hunting at nine tomorrow morning. You aren’t ready to go, then I’ll be here to pick up Axe,” I announce.

  Turning away from them, I leave. The door slams behind me and there’s a finality to the way it does. Carson is mine. Axe is mine. They’re both going to live under my roof, with my protection and I’m buying a whole fucking household of new goddamn furniture for them both. Whether she likes it or not.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

  CARSON

  I LIE IN BED, tossing and turning. I feel like there’s a ten-pound brick pressing against my chest. The future, or what it holds rather, is scaring the absolute shit out of me, it’s so intense that I can hardly breathe.

  There’s a noise out in the living room. Sitting straight up, I look down to see that Axe is sound asleep in his little bed.

  Slowly, I shift my legs over the side of the mattress that I’ve been sleeping on. A mattress that’s just been tossed onto the floor. I don’t mind it though, it’s a warm comfortable place to sleep and that’s all that matters.

  Sinking my teeth into my bottom lip, I creep along the short hallway, hearing the noises grow louder with each tip-toed step I take. When I walk into the living roo
m, I freeze. Roxanne is there, pacing. It’s not a slow leisurely pace, it’s almost manic.

  I watch her walk back and forth, back and forth, in front of the back sliding glass door. I’m almost afraid to say something, scared that she’s sleepwalking. I don’t want to upset her if she’s asleep and then not know how to handle her.

  “Roxanne?” I call out, staying in my spot.

  She stops, slowly turning her head to me and her eyes meet mine. She looks almost blank, except her eyes are darting all over, not focusing anywhere in particular. I stay still, frozen in my spot as she inhales a deep breath then lets it out.

  “You should go back to bed,” she mutters.

  Taking one step closer, I reach out for her, but she turns around to face the sliding glass door. “Roxie, what’s wrong. You haven’t been yourself all day long,” I point out.

  She shakes her head, her hair flying around her shoulders. I want to reach out and hold her. I know something is wrong. It’s in the way she holds her shoulders and back stiffly upright. It’s the way she went to bed early and seemed completely out of it when she did. There is something really wrong.

  “Nothing. I’ll be fine,” she says flatly.

  I chance making my way over to her side and hesitantly I slip my arm around her waist and rest my head on her shoulder. “I’ve known you for three years. Tell me,” I softly demand.

  “I’ll be okay, I always am. In a few days I’ll be back to myself,” she says, turning away from me. My arm falls from her waist and I lift my head. She walks away, as I turn to watch her, then she stops and faces me. “Be with your man, Carson. He wants you with him, don’t waste even a second of your life,” she rasps.

  I open my mouth to ask her what she means, what she regrets but she doesn’t allow me. She’s already gone and in her bedroom before I can open my mouth. Turning back to the sliding glass door, I can’t get Roxanne off of my mind. There is something not right about this evening. Something very, very not right.

  With a sigh, I walk over to the beat-up sofa and sink down. I know that I won’t be getting any sleep tonight. Bending my knees, I bring my feet up, placing them flat against the cushion. Resting my cheek on my knees, I continue to stare out into the darkness of the backyard. If I look toward the front, I’ll see the neon signs of the bar, but this is more serene, more of what I need.

  I watch the sun rise, my thoughts shifting from Roxanne to Sadie, and then finally landing on Ace. He’s an asshole, a bastard even. But I know I won’t be able to stay away from him. There is something about him that my heart, my soul, and my stupid selfish body can’t stay away from.

  Ace says that I’m his. He says it with a finality that I shouldn’t be able to explain, or even attempt to understand. Except, I understand him completely because he’s mine, too. The past week has been tortured hell for me. Not seeing him, not knowing what he’s doing, or who he’s doing it with. It was all too damn much.

  I was ready to call it quits, to give up on what could have been, because frankly, it’s all too much. I hurt too much. I craved him too much. It was all too damn much. Then he waltzes in here, and I wanted to forget the past week ever happened, and that scared me—terrified me really.

  What else am I going to be so quick to forgive and forget?

  Will I continue to let him trample all over me?

  Before I can answer my own question, Axe comes slowly scooting into the living room, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes as he yawns. He crawls onto the sofa and I drop my feet to the floor as he climbs into my lap.

  I will let Ace trample all over me. I will be quick to forgive and forget, even at the sacrifice of my own self-worth and pride. I will do it all so that I can continue to hold this little boy every time he wakes up in the morning with a yawn as he rubs the sleep out of his eyes. I would do anything for him, I will do anything for him. Even live a life of complete misery if that’s what it takes.

  “Is Daddy coming back, CarCar?” he asks.

  I gulp, running my fingers through his soft blond hair. I don’t want to tell him yes for certain, because honestly, I don’t know. He could not come over, he could be here right on time. I don’t know. I’m not sure if I can trust his word.

  Tipping my head down, I look into Axe’s blue eyes. “Why don’t we have some breakfast and get ready?” I ask.

  He scrunches his nose. “You didn’t answer,” he points out. He’s too smart for his own good and has a little more of Sadie in him than I would like with his smart-ass answer, then again, Ace is the same way.

  “I know.” I smile as I touch the tip of my finger to his nose. “Food first, then we’ll figure out our day,” I grin.

  His smile matches my own, and only then do I stand. Making my way into the kitchen, I gather all the ingredients for my quick, but not-so-quick, homemade cinnamon rolls. The recipe is a little more difficult to do without my old mixer that had a bread hook attachment, but I’ll be able to get by.

  Axe watches me for just a few minutes, then he’s off to the living room to play with his toys. As I mix all of the bread dough ingredients together, I can’t help but continue to glance over at the hall, wondering if Roxanne is going to join us. I don’t want to bother her or upset her in any way but I’m worried.

  Once my rolls are baking in the oven, I glance at the clock on the stove and cringe. It’s already nine. I can’t leave the cinnamon rolls cooking, so I get busy making the icing when there’s a knock on the door. Axe stands, but I hold my palm up to stop him from running to the door.

  Checking the peephole, I exhale at the sight of leather and denim. It’s Ace. I slowly open the door and gasp when his eyes meet mine. He has a black eye, a fat lip, and a swollen jaw. He looks like he’s been in a brawl, and I’m not sure he was the victor.

  “Ace?” I breathe.

  KEYS

  I CAN’T REMEMBER the last time I was in a fist fight. These days I end arguments with metal rather than my hands. However, I can’t kill my brothers for the sake of my own pride. Not over furniture at least. I was so fucking pissed last night, I went straight to the clubhouse and started shit.

  The guys were just being nice, I know that. However, the entire thing left a bad taste in my mouth. I don’t need their charity. I don’t need them to think that I’m not taking care of my own fucking family. I was working, it’s not like I abandoned them. I mean shit, I was getting information that they asked me to get.

  “Ace?” Carson breathes as soon as she opens the door. Her eyes are wide as she takes in my injured face. I shrug as I walk toward her. She doesn’t even attempt to step to the side, she blocks me from entering. “What happened?” she demands.

  Lifting my hand, I place it at the center of her chest, applying a little bit of pressure. “Don’t worry about it, Sweet Pea,” I grunt.

  She shakes her head with a frown, then opens her mouth to speak before she snaps her lips closed. Her head turns to the side and I watch as she hurries away without a word. My lips form their own frown as I walk into the trailer, confused as to why she’s run from me.

  When I make my way into the house, I turn toward the kitchen where she’s bent over in front of the oven. I grunt at the sight of her ass peeking out of the bottom of her sleep shorts. Fuck, I missed that sweet ass. I haven’t had nearly enough of it, and I’m craving a piece of her right now. I feel like I haven’t been inside of her for months.

  Watching her, she stands and turns around carrying a hot dish.

  “Daddy,” a little voice cries.

  I tear my eyes from her to see Axe running toward me. He throws his arms around my waist and gives me a huge hug. I grunt with pain. My torso is a bruised up fucking mess from the fight late last night.

  “It’s time for cinnamon rolls,” Carson calls out.

  Axe ditches me, a little man watching after his stomach, and I don’t blame him. The trailer smells amazing. Slowly, I walk after him, only pausing once I’m close to the kitchen. Glancing down, I watch as Carson drizzles frosting a
ll over the rolls.

  “Do you want anything to drink?” she asks, her face pinking with obvious embarrassment. I don’t know what the fuck she’s embarrassed about. I’m the one with the fucked up face.

  I shrug. “Milk I guess.” What I want is a beer, maybe a shot of whiskey, but I don’t tell her that.

  I have to drive us today and try to make up for my absence last week. Although, I don’t know what I could do to make up for any of it. It’s not like she has a choice about the house or her place in my bed. I continue to watch her plate the food, noticing how it isn’t exactly uniform like the way it looks when it comes out of a can.

  “You make all this?” I bark.

  She jumps, her eyes lifting to mine. “I did,” she murmurs.

  I shake my head, unsure of what to do with that information. She can cook, really cook. She hands me two plates. “Take those to the table?” she asks softly.

  Forcing myself to turn from her, I walk over to the table and set one plate down in front of Axe, and the other at the empty seat. Returning back to the small kitchen I grab the last plate. Carson has her head in the fridge and I can’t help but stop to take in her ass again. Fuck. I’m going to need to fuck her soon, today sometime.

  I settle down at the table, across from Axe. He’s wiggling in his chair, his eyes wide as he licks his lips and stares at the sweet roll on his plate. I chuckle at the sight, I know I look the exact same way when I take in Carson.

  “Okay, let’s eat,” she says, setting down three glasses, one in front of each of us.

  Axe doesn’t waste a fucking second digging into his food, his fingers finding the frosting first and licking it off with a moan.

  “Where’s your girl?” I ask as I pick up a roll and shove half of it in my mouth.

  Carson doesn’t reply right away, so I look up across the table at her. She’s chewing on the corner of her bottom lip, her eyes distant as she looks across the room. “Carson?” I ask. She shakes her head as if to shake herself out of her thoughts.