Damaged: The Complete Set Including DIRTY and FILTHY: A Dark Romance (The Damage Romance Box Set)

by Michelle Horst

  I can’t risk them living on the same planet as the woman I love. I’ll never rest, not knowing they can come after her. Not knowing, they can do to River, what they’ve done to me. The thought is enough to make me blind with rage.

  She doesn’t want to enslave me, but I’d willingly be a slave to her heart. I just pray she’ll still be there when I’m done taking care of my past.

  “Jack.” Adam waves at me, as I’m passing by his house with another load of wood for the stables. I leave everything right there and run to him.

  Exhilaration starts to pump through my veins, as I follow him inside his house.

  “I’ve managed to get everything. We’ll be making homemade bombs. There’s a pair of gloves.”

  He points to the counter in the kitchen, and I quickly go to put them on. He takes a deep breath and then looks hard at me.

  “Are you sure, Jack? Once we make these bombs there’s no turning back.”

  “Let’s do this,” I say.

  “Well then, let’s get started.”

  Adam has canisters, glass jars and old pieces of cloth scattered over his kitchen floor.

  “We’ll be making what some call a Molotov Cocktail. It’s easy to make and to use.”

  I nod, taking in every word Adam is saying.

  “Take a jar and fill half of it with gasoline. Then add a quarter oil, and the rest you fill with styrofoam.”

  “Why styrofoam?” I ask.

  “It will help the mixture thicken. When we throw the jar against a wall, the styrofoam will also help the mixture to stick to everything. That way it all burns faster.”

  “Good. That’s what I want to fucking hear.”

  I grab a jar and watch as Adam makes a bomb. He works carefully, not spilling any of the flammable liquid. He breaks a piece of styrofoam into smaller pieces, and then shoves it into the jar.

  “When you’re done, you take one of these old shirts and place it over the mouth of the jar. Screw on the top and there you have it.”

  He lightly pulls at the long piece of material sticking out from the jar.

  “Make them all this long. This is what we’ll soak in gasoline when we get there. You just set the soaked cloth on fire and throw the jar, and then my friend, you run like hell.”

  After I’ve showered, I find Adam in my room. I haven’t been sleeping by River since the fire. I need the space, and I’m sure she needs it too.

  I close the door behind me and wait for Adam to speak.

  He’s standing with his back to me when he says, “We leave in one hour. Don’t tell anyone. Just meet me out front by the station wagon. I’ve already loaded all the bombs and extra gasoline.”

  I nod as he turns around and then leaves the room. As the door clicks closed behind Adam, my heart starts to beat faster.

  Fucking finally, I’m going to have my revenge.

  An hour later I walk out of the house, making sure no one sees me. I run to the station wagon and get in the passenger side. Adam is already waiting.

  As we leave the plantation, I glance back and my eyes automatically go to River’s window. I see her standing there, her arms wrapped tightly around her. Before guilt can start to eat at my conscience, I look away.

  For the first few minutes we drive in silence.

  “Why didn’t you blindfold me? I thought you blindfold everyone.”

  Adam takes a deep breath, and without taking his eyes off the road, he says, “That didn’t help much. All the precautions we take aren’t worth shit if we can’t trust the guards, or people we bring here. From now on, the only way you can leave the plantation is in a body bag. Once someone makes the choice to stay there it’s for life. I won’t risk the other’s lives for one person who suddenly gets an itch they want scratched.”

  “Yeah, you’re right,” I say, fully agreeing with him.

  “You agree?” Adam asks, actually looking surprised.

  “Of course,” I say and then I settle back into the seat for the long ride. “I don’t want to invest myself into that plantation only to have it ripped from me. I’m sure the others feel the same way.”

  “Where’s all of this coming from?” Adam asks. “You’ve been so quiet since we brought you here, just … existing.”

  “I’m done just fucking existing. At first, I felt numb. Just dead inside. All I could do was just try and survive day by day.”

  Adam nods and then he asks, “Was it the fire that brought it all back?”

  I think on his question for a moment and then answer, “Partly.” I take a deep breath and say, “River deserves someone who can take care of her. She’s been taking care of everyone. I know she’s got her own pain, and I can’t help her work through hers if I don’t deal with my own first. River needs a man, and the only way I can be the man she deserves, is by burying the past. I want a future with her, a future that’s not clouded by our pasts.”

  A smile tugs at the corner of Adam’s mouth. “I have to admit, I’m relieved to hear that, Jack. I’m glad you want to bury the past and move on. After tomorrow, you’ll be able to do just that.”

  After the serious conversation, we stick to lighter topics. We talk about the plantation, the cattle and anything else that’s a safe topic.

  The drive is long, and we’ve covered three quarters of it, when Adam starts to look really tired.

  “Why don’t you pull over and take a break? Eat and drink something.”

  “Yeah, you’re right,” he mutters. A few miles up the road, he pulls over to the side, and he parks the station wagon under a tree. He grabs a sandwich and soda.

  “You need to learn how to drive,” he suddenly says.

  “Yeah,” I say, wondering how it will feel to be able to drive myself somewhere.

  Adam swallows some soda down and then he points to his feet. “That’s the gas and that’s the break. This here is the handbrake and this is the gear shift. The R is for reverse so the car can go backwards. The P is for park, that’s what we’re doing now. The D is for drive.”

  “Sounds easy.”

  “It is pretty easy once you get the hang of it.” He tosses me the empty can on the back seat, and then starts the car.

  I watch everything he does as he drives. “Will you teach me how to drive when we get back?”

  Adam glances at me, and then says. “Sure thing.”

  It’s close to midnight when we near Cameron’s estate. My whole body is shaking from the adrenaline pumping through my veins.

  Adam stops close enough for us to walk, but also far enough away to not draw any attention.

  “It’s a fifteen minute walk. We each have three bombs in a backpack. You can’t miss, Jack. We only have six between us to make sure that place burns to the ground. I’ll go around the front and you go around the back. Try and throw them inside the house. It will do more damage faster. But-” Adam takes hold of my shoulder, holding me back. “Do not risk getting caught. I can’t come for you. If they get me then you run, Jack. Don’t look back. Just go.”

  I sure as hell won’t be happy if I have to leave Adam behind, but I understand why.

  We each take a backpack. Adam hands me two lighters, and checks his own, before shoving them in his pocket. I check mine too just to make sure they work.

  We start to walk to Cameron’s estate, careful not to jar our backpacks.

  Cameron’s place sits at the top of the hill. There are lights on outside on the grounds and inside the manor. As we get close, Adam pulls a gun from his bag.

  He catches me staring and explains, “It’s just for safety sake.”

  Adam points to a dark corner at the back of the property. “We can get over the wall there. I’ll go first while you hold the bags. Once I’m over, you can hand the bags to me, before you climb over.”

  “Adam.” I wait until he’s looking at me. “Thanks.”

  “You know you can trust someone if they help you kill. It fucking bonds you for life.”

  Adam’s right. He might be a quiet person
, but he’s been there for me when I needed someone most.

  “Let’s get this done so we can get back to our women.”

  Adam shrugs the bag off and hands it to me. I hold both the bags as he pulls himself up on the wall and then reaches for the first bag. When he has them both resting securely on the wall he jumps off the other side. I pull myself up the same way he did, and then I hand him one bag at a time.

  Once we’re both on the other side of the wall, Adam whispers, “Shit, I almost forgot. Here are some cable ties. Seal the exits off so they can’t get out. Stick to the shadows so you don’t get spotted.”

  I take a handful of cable ties from him and shove them in my pocket. We go our separate ways and I keep to the shadows. I avoid places I know the guards might be.

  At the first door I reach, I have to use three cable ties. I tie the first two around each of the doorknobs and then use the third one to link the other two together.

  I keep my head low as I move from door to door. There are a few windows that are open, but I don’t bother with them. I can use those windows to throw the bombs inside the house.

  When I’m all done, I go back to the middle of the yard, where the rose garden is. I crouch down between the roses and then carefully place the bag on the ground. I remove all three bombs and the small can of gasoline. I quickly wet the pieces of cloth, and as I’m about to light the first cloth, I hear screaming come from inside.

  There’s no time to think. I run to the window that’s furthest away from the rose garden. I quickly light the cloth and then toss the bomb through the window. I run as fast as I can as it explodes behind me.

  I grab another bomb and light it. I throw it against the glass door I’ve used so many times before to move in and out of the house.

  I run back to get the bag, and the last bomb, when someone tackles me from behind. My body slams hard into the ground, but I don’t feel any pain. There’s a hard blow to the side of my head, but I push my hands into the ground, using my whole body to throw the person off me.

  I grab the bomb and run for the other end of the house.

  “Stop, fucker!” I recognize Sven’s voice and I stop. I stare down at the bomb in my left hand and the lighter in my right hand.

  Slowly, I turn around. When Sven recognizes me, he starts to laugh.

  “The slave has returned.” He laughs harder as if it’s a huge joke for him to see me here. Then he says, “The beating wasn’t enough, eh? You’ve come back for more cock?”

  Smoke bellows from the house and the screams grow more frantic.

  Sven scowls at me, his face going hard. “You were a good fuck, especially when you were younger.” He raises his hand with the gun, pointing it right at me. “But like David said that night, every hole has an expiration date.”

  Anger floods me, hotter than the flames around me. Sven was the first one to rape me. He trained me to be a slave. He burned my mother.

  I look down at the last bomb in my hands, and I light the cloth. I throw it hard and the bottle crashes against Sven’s chest. He starts to scream, and a shot goes off as the flames flare up over his body. Something hits my right arm, but I’ve already wasted too much time.

  I run back to the corner of the estate and pull myself up on the wall. Once at the top, I look back at the burning estate. I quickly find Sven’s burning body, and I delight in the sight of his suffering.

  Screams fill the air. It’s a beautiful sound, listening to them all burning. People slam their fists against the windows and glass doors, gasping for air. They trample each other to try and find a way out.

  I see Eduardo and my eyes start to search frantically for Cameron. One of the glass doors burst open and a flaming body runs across the yard.

  Slowly, a smile creeps over my face. David. It’s only right that he dies the same way our mother did.

  I hear a high pitch scream and then I see the old bitch - Westbrook. I watch until all I can see is the raging fire.

  I jump from the wall and run back to where we left the station wagon.

  I see Adam pacing in front of the car, his whole body tense. When he sees me he hisses, “What the fuck took you so long?”

  “I had to watch,” I say, as we get in the car. “I had to make sure they all burn.”

  “And did they?” he snaps, as he drives off in the opposite direction of the burning estate.

  “Yes,” I say, sighing with elation and overwhelming relief. I can’t describe all the feelings coursing through my body. Relief. Liberation. Freedom.

  “I’m finally fucking free,” I whisper to no one in particular.

  River~

  It’s been the longest two days of my life. Two days that almost cost me my sanity.

  That’s how long they’ve been gone. Forty eight hours of raw fear eating away at my heart. A million thoughts keep assaulting my mind. It’s amazing what horrors your mind can conjure up, when you’re worried about the men you love.

  Things might be over between Jack and me, but I still love him.

  It’s late at night. Anxiety is eating away at me. I need to know they’re okay.

  Sophia is the first to see them. She’s been living on the porch since they left, her eyes never leaving the entrance.

  The men look tired as they walk up the driveway. They must’ve left the station wagon somewhere. Burning it like we always do, so we don’t leave any traces behind.

  Sophia runs down the stairs, flinging herself into Adam’s arms. Adam needs someone like Sophia in his life and she needs him. They’re good for each other.

  I have mixed feelings as I watch Jack. I have to suppress the urge to rush to him, and to see with my own eyes that he’s okay.

  I can’t just forget everything that’s happened. I can’t be with someone who will hurt me just because he’s in pain.

  I stand to the side, and when he reaches the top of the stairs, I whisper, “You’re home.”

  When he looks right at me, his eyes are dark and smoldering. I drop mine, too scared of what I’ll see if I stare too long.

  “I’m home.” The words rumble deep from in his chest, making me realize how much I’ve missed just hearing his voice.

  He takes a step towards me, and I shake my head as I raise a hand between us.

  “Please don’t.”

  I’m not sure what I’m begging for. Do I want him to stay away from me? Do I want him to show me that he’s not lost me? My heart is a mess from the destruction I had to face the past few days.

  He ignores my words and keeps coming. I take a few steps backward, but then bump into the wall. I flatten my body against it, my body trembling.

  “Jack,” I plead, as tendrils of fear curl around my heart. I can’t forget his rage. I turn my face to the side, too scared to face what’s coming.

  I feel the intensity roll off his body, slamming into me like tidal waves. It’s a disturbing thought, knowing the man you love can easily kill you. That he actually just might.

  “Tell me,” he grinds the words out. He clears his throat. “Tell me I didn’t destroy us.”

  When the attack doesn’t come, his words sink in. I slump back against the wall feeling dizzy and drained.

  “We’re damaged,” I whisper, because it’s the truth. I won’t lie to him, just because I fear him.

  “Let me touch you.” His voice is hoarse, almost a pain-filled groan.

  I shake my head, but my body betrays me as I push away from the wall. Tears sneak from my eyes, and I hate that I’m crying. I’m stronger than this. I’ve survived worse than this.

  But never before, have I been threatened by someone I love. I can’t just brush off the way he spoke to me. I expected it from my father because he was a monster, where as I trusted Jack.

  His fingers skim over my arm. I flinch, but I can’t make myself pull away. His hand moves up to my shoulder, and then slips behind my neck.

  He draws me to him, and when I feel the strength of his chest against my cheek, my walls crumble around me.


  I grab at his shirt, twisting my fingers in the material.

  His arms lock me to him, and as he leans in, I feel his breath rush over my hair.

  “Damaged but not destroyed.” His chest rumbles as he whispers the words.

  I press my forehead against his chest, and taking a few breaths, I push away from him.

  “I can’t just forget,” I whisper, wiping my face with the back of my hand.

  “I had to do it, River.” I can feel his eyes burning on my face, but I refuse to look up.

  “Not about that.” I take a step away from him. “You can’t talk to me the way you did. You can’t hurt me because you’re hurting.”

  He rubs tiredly over his face.

  “I want to be strong for you, but I can’t if you’re tearing me down.”

  I walk away, exhausted from the past week’s events. I go straight to my room and don’t even bother changing out of my dress and into my pajamas. I just curl up on the bed and squeeze my eyes shut.

  As worn out as I feel, I can’t fall asleep.

  My bedroom door clicks softly. For a second, I think that I imagined the sound. But then, the mattress dips under his weight and he lies down behind me.

  His arm slips around me and drags me closer, until the side of my body is pressed to his front. I can smell the soap from the shower he must’ve taken. He buries his face in my hair and I hear him breathing me in.

  “I never meant to hurt you,” he whispers. “Fuck, you’re all that makes sense in my life. You fill the cracks in me.”

  His words make a lump form in my throat, and I swallow hard on it.

  “I’m bad at relationships,” he says, and it draws a sudden burst of manic laughter from me, which quickly turns into a sob.

  “We’re both bad at this.”

  His lips move down the side of my face and when he reaches my jaw, he says, “Then let’s be bad at it together.”

  I turn my face slightly, until I feel his breath on the corner of my mouth.

  Time freezes.

  He moves fast, his mouth crushing mine. We both gasp at the impact, and then he kisses me hard. There’s a hungry desperation to his movements. His tongue plunges into my mouth. It feels as if he’s going to devour me.