The Rogue’s Dangerous Confession: Historical Regency Romance (Dangerous Desires Book 3)
Page 22
Ian. Jane still smiled at his name. She didn’t see him as before, but she was still somewhat fond of him. They did have a lot to talk about, and Jane did need to apologize for her behavior. She hoped that one day they would be able to sit down and talk, lay it all out and start afresh. Ian was a forgiving gentleman when he wanted to be. Hopefully, that would extend to her.
Perhaps, once this was over, Alexander could arrange for the two of them to meet. Jane would be able to look Ian in the eye and apologize to both him and Anna for her actions. Jane knew they were happy together and she didn’t want to ruin that for them.
Not anymore.
She was still lost in her own thoughts as she entered her bedchamber. Claire had already lit the fire, which was blazing away, and the candles were lit by the bed. Her nightgown was laid out and all Jane needed to do was undress, put on her nightgown and get into bed.
Locking the door, Jane headed towards the bed. Only to squeal loudly when an arm snaked around her waist and she was hauled up against a hard body. A hand clamped over her mouth and Jane heard Alexander’s voice.
“It’s me, Jane. You’re safe.”
Safe. Whenever he was around, Jane never felt safe. Not from herself, anyway.
Jane relaxed, and the hand came away from her mouth. She turned and looked up at Alexander, who still had his arms around her. She didn’t want to leave his embrace, feeling the heat coming from his body. What was he doing in here? He shouldn’t have been in her room.
“If someone finds out that you’re in here…”
“Nobody’s going to know,” Alexander whispered. “As long as we’re quiet. Only Claire knows that I’m here.”
Jane blinked. “Claire knows you’re in my room?”
“I asked her permission to grace your bedchamber, so I could wait for you.”
Claire knew about this and she still let him in? Jane wasn’t sure whether to be glad she had done that or be cross about Claire making decisions for her. She pressed her hands to Alexander’s chest.
“You really shouldn’t be here, Alexander,” she whispered. “But I’m glad you are.”
“You are?”
Jane nodded, leaning forward to rest her head on his shoulder.
“Yes. I’ve sat by Rachel’s bedside since she was brought back, and I’ve been going mad trying to figure out why she was attacked.”
“How is she?”
“Still unconscious. The physician refuses to say if it’s going to go either way.”
Alexander rubbed her back, tucking her against his chest. It was such a gentle, sweet gesture that Jane found herself wanting to cry. She had been hugged like this before, but with Alexander it felt like something else. Something more meaningful. Jane had never experienced that before.
“I feel awful that you had to see her like that,” Alexander said quietly. “You didn’t deserve to see such depravity.”
“I’m just more worried about why she was out there in the first place.” Jane looked up. “You don’t think she saw us...you know…”
Alexander chuckled. “If she did, she must have gotten an eyeful. But I’m sure if she witnessed what happened, she would have interrupted us instead of sneaking away.”
He did have a point. If Rachel had seen the two of them together, she would have stormed out and attacked Alexander before dragging Jane away. She wouldn’t have tiptoed away to let someone else know. Not with her confrontational nature.
“Someone could have seen her and saw us as well. Maybe they wanted her to be quiet so they attacked her.”
“Someone else was watching us?” Alexander looked distraught.
Jane winced. “That makes us sound like the unluckiest couple ever, doesn’t it? We might as well have done it on the front lawn.” Jane shuddered. “I don’t like the thought of people watching me...like that...and I don’t ever want to be watched again.”
“I would never ask that of you.” Alexander’s expression softened as he cupped her jaw in his hands. “You deserved much better than being taken on a rock. I don’t regret what we did, I just wish I had been a bit more gentle. More careful.”
Jane stared at him. Then she nuzzled his hand.
“It wasn’t exactly how I envisioned my first time, but you didn’t hurt me. You made me feel...well, you made me feel. I don’t regret it, either.”
“You don’t?”
“No.” Jane swallowed. “But we shouldn’t do it anymore.”
That hurt to say. Jane didn’t want what they had to stop. Now that she had a taste, she wanted more. Being this close to Alexander, having him touch her, was like an addiction. She needed it all. Wanted it all.
Alexander looked bewildered at her declaration.
“You don’t think we should be in the same room anymore? I thought you just said you didn’t regret what we did.”
“I don’t.”
“Your response doesn’t seem to support that.”
Jane gulped. She lowered her hands and stepped back, moving out of Alexander’s arms. It was hard to think when he was this close.
“I...what we did could get us in a lot of trouble. What if it had been more than just watching us? What if we were confronted? I don’t think either of us would be able to recover from that. Well,” she backtracked a little, “You might have been able to recover from such a scandal, but I couldn’t. My parents would send me away or put me in a nunnery. I would be wiped out of existence.”
Alexander’s jaw tightened. “I would make sure that would never happen.”
“How could you possibly do that?”
“In whatever way I could.”
Alexander stepped towards her. Jane stepped back, bumping into the bed. Her heart started racing as Alexander stood close, his hands brushing against her waist.
“You’re not scared of me, are you, Jane?” Alexander’s eyes pierced hers. “You’re not afraid?”
“No.” Jane didn’t need to think about that. “I’m not scared of you. I never could be.”
“Good. Because it would kill me if you were.” Alexander stroked her hair away from her face. “I don’t care about my reputation. It’s pretty much gone. Your father could hang me from the nearest tree for what we’ve done and I wouldn’t care. As long as you were safe.”
He really meant that. Jane could see it in his eyes. Alexander would protect her no matter what happened. She hadn’t had anyone become a champion for her before. Jane didn’t know what to think about it.
“Look, Jane,” Alexander’s fingers brushed down her cheek, leaving behind a trail of warmth, “I’m not doing this for enjoyment. Well, I enjoyed being inside you, making you call out my name. I’ve not stopped thinking about it.”
Jane could feel her face going red. She had enjoyed it as well. Even now, her body was tingling at the thought of Alexander touching her body the way he had earlier.
“I…” she began, but Alexander put a finger to her mouth.
“Don’t talk. Not just yet.” He lowered his hand, taking her hand and pressing it to his chest. “What’s going on between us...it’s more than just simple enjoyment of each other’s flesh. It’s something I haven’t experienced in a long time. I know I should keep away from you. You’re far too innocent for me, and you deserve better than me. You…” He swallowed. “You make me lose myself whenever I’m this close. I should keep my distance, but I can’t. I want more. So much more.”
Jane felt the warmth building in her belly. She didn’t think she had heard anything so meaningful from Alexander before, or any other man. He sounded so earnest about it, so sure of himself. It had to be humbling for him to admit this out loud.
Did this really mean something or was it lust driving him? Jane had no idea anymore.
“You’re not saying this to seduce me, are you?” she asked.
Alexander shook his head. “No. I would never do that. Not to you.” He drew her close, sliding his arms around her. “Believe me, Jane, you make me feel what I shouldn’t. I should be running awa
y, but I can’t.”
Jane should have done that for him. She should have told him to leave. Even at this time in the evening, people would be passing by her door. Anyone could overhear them. There was a chance someone knew she was in here right now.
But Jane couldn’t pull away. She didn’t want to. She rose up on her tiptoes and pressed her lips to his. Alexander groaned as he kissed her back, but he didn’t move, allowing Jane to take charge. Jane took it slowly, running her hands up his chest. She could feel him trembling under her touch. Or was that her? Jane wasn’t sure really.
Alexander sighed. His hands had slid lowered, cupping her backside before slowly gathering her dress up. Jane felt cool air touch her thighs along with the tickling of heat from the fire across the room. She gasped as Alexander’s fingers brushed against her bare skin.
Then Alexander broke the kiss, stepping back and urging Jane to turn around. For a moment, Jane felt a stab of panic. Both of them had been partially clothed as Alexander took her, so this would be the first time he would see her naked. No one outside of her lady’s maids over the years had seen her bare. Could she do it?
“You don’t need to be scared, Jane,” Alexander whispered. He began to unbutton her dress. “I won’t hurt you.”
Jane believed him. He wouldn’t hurt her. Although he could very easily break her heart. Taking a deep breath, she turned. Alexander finally got to the bottom button, then pushed her dress down and dropped it on the floor. Then he stood staring at her, his eyes roving over her body. Jane was still wearing her undergarments, but she could easily have been naked as he looked at her. Alexander swallowed and took a step back.
“I want you to take everything else off,” he said hoarsely. “I want to see you.”
Jane’s hands automatically went to the ribbons at her shoulders holding up her shift. Her eyes never left his face as she undid the ribbons and let the shift fall. The rest of her undergarments followed, pooling on the floor at her feet. Then Jane was standing before him fully naked. Alexander’s nostrils flared, and he growled. There was such a hungry look on his face that it made Jane whimper. Instinctively, she put her hands over her breasts, only for Alexander to clasp her hands and gently draw them away.
“You don’t need to hide yourself.” He was staring at her breasts. “You’re beautiful, Jane.”
With him looking at her like he wanted to devour her, Jane felt beautiful. She gasped as Alexander released her hands and moved closer, as he clasped her breasts. His hands were cool against her body, cupping her as his thumbs rubbed over her nipples. Jane had to bite her lip to stop from crying out. She didn’t want anyone walking past to hear what was happening. They would surely bash down the door.
Jane was getting past the point of caring.
“God, Jane.” Alexander kissed her softly. “I’m trying to go slow here, but it’s not easy.”
“What if I don’t want you to go slowly?”
Jane was surprised she managed to find her voice. Alexander groaned, burying his face in her neck.
“Please don’t say that.” He suckled on her skin, licking a line along her collar bone. “You deserve to be cherished and loved for your first time, not taken and molested like I did before.”
“You didn’t molest me.” Jane grabbed his face and made him look at her. “You would never do that.”
Alexander stared at her. He rested his forehead against hers.
“You are too humbling for me.” Then he let go of her and stepped back, leaving Jane swaying. “I want you to sit on the bed.”
Jane did as she was bid, shuffling up until she was leaning against the pillows. Alexander stood at the foot of the bed and watched her. His eyes drifted over every inch of her body, Jane watching him lick his lips. Then, his hands shaking, he began to undress. Jane watched with wide eyes, unable to look away. She had never seen a gentleman undress before. It was like unwrapping a gift as she witnessed Alexander divest himself of his clothing. His shoulders were wide, his waist narrow. His arms and upper body were beautifully defined with muscle, making him look like an Adonis. He could easily have been a model for those statues Jane saw in museums.
Alexander leaned on the bedpost to take off his boots. Then his hands went to his trousers. Her breath caught in her throat as Alexander undid them and pushed them down past his hips, along with his drawers. His manhood sprang out and Jane couldn’t take her eyes off it. She was aware of the male body through her lessons, but it was often passed over very quickly. Alexander’s was long, standing proudly from his groin. Jane felt a fluttering in her belly and clamped her thighs together as throbbing began to persist between her legs.
Oh, God. She felt like she was going to burst into flames.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Tossing his clothes aside, Alexander crawled onto the bed. Jane lay back as he shifted over her, laying at her side as he tangled a leg between hers. His hand cupped her breast as he kissed her, rolling her nipples in his fingers before giving her breast a squeeze. Jane sighed, reaching up to grab at his head.
She had thought at this moment, she would be terrified at the thought of lying with a man. But with Alexander, his arms around her and touching her everywhere as he kissed her, Jane felt safe. Protected.
Breaking the kiss, Alexander took Jane’s hand and lowered it down his body, making her touch him. Jane gasped as her hand wrapped around his manhood. The skin was so soft, and warm. And he was very hard. He twitched in her grasp and Alexander groaned as he showed Jane how to pleasure him, thrusting into her hand.
“God, Jane, that feels so good.” His fingers traced between her breasts and down her belly. “I love feeling your hands on me.”
Jane started as his fingers brushed over her curls before he thrust two fingers inside her. His ministrations were gentle, tending to her body as he urged Jane to stroke him more. Alexander was grunting, thrusting into her hand as he kissed her. Then he was suckling on her breasts, scraping his teeth over her skin. Jane felt the flames being fed and building. She clutched his head with a moan as he changed the angle of his thrusting fingers. Alexander lifted his head.
“You’re going to need to keep quiet,” he whispered. “We don’t want to be disturbed again, do we?”
Jane had forgotten where they were. Her parents were in the house, as were her brothers. This was almost as daring as their fumbling by the river. Then again, Alexander had certainly not been fumbling.
“I...I can’t help it…” Jane bit back another moan, her hips lifting off the bed. “You make me...oh!”
Alexander swallowed her cry with his mouth, his thumb brushing over her swollen nub. The flames had exploded, pleasure wrapping around Jane and bursting outwards. Each time Alexander rubbed her flesh, Jane felt the tremors shoot up her body. It was just as intense as earlier. Perhaps even more so. Jane soon forgot how to think as her pleasure came again, her whole body arching up and bowing against Alexander. He drew her climax out slowly, slowing his thrusting fingers and he eased on his kisses. He thrust into her hand, and Jane instinctively gripped onto him. Alexander shuddered.
“Careful. I’ll be spent before I’m even inside you.”
Inside her. Jane almost forgot how to breathe. She whimpered as Alexander drew away, snagging two of her pillows before rising up onto his knees. He urged her to lift her hips, and he slid the pillows underneath, adjusting them so her hips were tilted up.
“What are you doing?”
“I want to make it easier for you.” Alexander lifted one leg and kissed her ankle. He grinned as he leaned over her, his other hand placed at her waist. “Don’t worry. You won’t remember any pain once I’m inside you.”
Jane was practically panting. Alexander was just the type of person her parents had told her to stay away from. She should be telling him to leave, but she couldn’t do it. Not now that she knew how good it felt. She wanted more. She laid back and rested her arms above her head as a sign of submission.
“I trust you,” she whispered
.
Alexander stared at her. He was breathing heavily. Then he leaned over and kissed her hard, thrusting his tongue into her mouth. Jane let him ravage her, grabbing onto his head to keep him with her. Then she broke away with a gasp as she felt the blunt head of his manhood pressing against her. Alexander didn’t break eye-contact as he gently pushed inside her.
“Look at me.” He grasped her hands in his, resting them above her head. “Wrap your legs around me.”
Jane did as she was told. Alexander’s whole body was shaking. He thrust a little more, and his manhood slid further in. Jane felt her breath catch. He was bigger than she anticipated. He stretched her more than she thought she could cope. For a moment, she wanted him to stop, but then Alexander pushed in a little more and the slight pressure disappeared. Jane bit hard on her lip as her body stretched to accommodate him. Was he bigger than before? Jane couldn’t be sure, but she wanted more. She clawed at his shoulders.