The Finish Line

by Stewart , Kate

  “I hate you,” I croak, all strength leaving me, my eyes overflowing with anger.

  “For every single thing I’ve done or will ever do to you, I have a reason. And I’m sorry if they’re not good enough, but I don’t give a fuck as long as your heart keeps beating, and there’s a chance you will forgive me for making sure it does.” His voice cracks with every word. “But if you take this away from me, I have nothing. You leave me with nothing.”

  The rest of my anger leaves me as the gravity of his sacrifice seeps in, and I grip his face in my hands. Furious, he jerks away from my touch.

  “You have me,” I assure him as I grip him more firmly and his eyes dart away. I press a kiss to his jaw, his throat as he swallows repeatedly, vibrating with rage. Gripping his shirt, I push off on my toes and lick along his throat. “You’ll have my trust. You’ll have my devotion. You’ll have all of me.”

  “Love isn’t going to save us,” he snaps.

  “Maybe not. But love and trust are the only things capable of saving you and me. You have to trust me, Tobias.”

  He curses, a caged bull, as I do my best to soothe his anger, pressing my body against his while sliding my hand between us up and down his chest before gripping his erection. He grips my wrist to stop me, making me wince, his fire-filled eyes scathing as he batters me with a look.

  “Tobias, you have me,” I murmur as I press in. He jerks his chin in refusal and steps away, putting space—I refuse—between us.

  Intent, I step forward, hands roaming as he looks down at me with nothing but disdain, and I feel the line thinning between love and hate as we edge along it. But I know this edge, we’ve ridden it before, and I know what wins with us, what will always win.

  His eyes roam my skin, his breaths coming faster as his anger festers and familiar, potent need spikes between us.

  “Damn you,” he grits out, his voice growing thick with fury as he slaps my hands away, his eyes smoldering with the promise of delivering a different kind of hell.

  Stepping back, he shrugs out of his cardigan, his eyes licking heat down my body before the sweater falls to the floor. He fists his T-shirt, the hem sliding up his chiseled torso before he tosses it onto the pile. Amber eyes blazing, he toes off his boots and unzips his jeans, and I watch, entranced by the sight of him as he discards them along with his boxer and socks. His cock bobs heavily between us as my mouth waters at the sight of it. Naked and panting, we take the other in, souls bared, hearts raw. Within my next breath he pins me, denying my kiss and again facing me toward the couch before he lifts my knees to rest on the thick edge.

  Slowly and painfully fisting my hair, he glides his free palm down my stomach tucking two fingers between my legs as a low moan escapes me. A groan escapes his chest at my back when he feels how slick I am before he begins to fuck me ruthlessly with his fingers. Gasping with the sting of a bite, I spread my legs wider as more wetness gathers at my core.

  “You hate me? Maybe I hate you, too,” his whisper is venomous, and I shudder with the arrival of a threatening orgasm as he pulls his fingers away from me. This is punishment for my win, and I’m all too ready for it.

  “Then hate me.”

  He grips my ass with his roaming hand, spreading me as his erection brushes between my cheeks and tension coils in my belly. From behind, his fingers again plunge into the wet heat gathered at my center, a pained groan leaving his throat as he stretches me further, my heart rate skyrocketing as my clit throbs in anticipation. He slides a palm up my back before snaking it around my throat and squeezing, my back arching with the movement as he pushes the tip of his cock into me, drawing the back of my head to his chest until our eyes connect and he’s glaring at me from above. The second we lock into place, he drives into me completely, and my body goes taut with the invasion as his eyes close.

  “Putain.” Fuck.

  Within the first few thrusts, I tighten around him and start to come apart, my thighs shaking uncontrollably as his hand again tightens on my throat and his eyes flame open, his gaze unwavering as he peers down at me.

  Invading.

  Claiming.

  Furious.

  Gripping the back of his neck, I brace myself against him as he fucks me with punishing thrusts. His eyes flare as I stiffen in welcome, an orgasm unfurling throughout my limbs as he keeps our eyes locked and drives in, tearing through me.

  With the next thrust, I detonate, my body convulsing uncontrollably as he continues at a maddening, purposeful pace. I’ve never been fucked so savagely in my life, and I can’t get enough.

  With every few thrusts, I quicken, my back arching further, as I come undone again, and again, and again as he stares down at me, a man possessed, the desire in his eyes his only tell as the rest of his features twist cruelly, his intent clear.

  Punishment.

  When I again crest down in a wave of ecstasy into familiar ashes, I go lax in his arms only to be met with a violent slap on my ass.

  My whole body latches onto that pain as pleasure seeps through my every pore. His lips part as he loses himself briefly, and I arch my back further, lifting my ass to take more of him in as liquid fire drips from his gaze. Within seconds, I’m coming again, the orgasms crashing through me, wave after wave on the heels of the last, as he fucks me viciously, channeling all of his anger into his movement.

  “I get everything?” He taunts, his finger invading the forbidden, the threat hanging in the air as he presses his finger in.

  “Yessss,” I hiss before I explode around him, my thighs threatening to give out as he picks up his pace, his fingers tightening around my throat as if in indecision. I see a flash of satisfaction as he denies me breath for several seconds, which leads to yet another explosive orgasm, this one far more intense.

  He curses when I go lax from the weight of it and pulls me from the couch. In the next second, the hardwood bruises my knees as he grips my hair in his fist and pushes his engorged cock between my teeth until I’m choking on him. With a few thrusts of his hips, he grunts, filling my mouth, his release hitting the back of my throat. I take it all, savoring every second, my body filling with renewed desire as I lick him from root to tip, sucking every inch of him clean. He watches, rapt, his eyes flaring with mild surprise. When I finally release him from my mouth, I lick my lips with only one request.

  “More.”

  He lifts me from the floor with the same punishing grip before taking me to bed and giving me exactly that.

  Age Thirty-One

  I pull up to the garage in time to see Sean speed off in his Nova, not sparing me a glance as he whizzes by—but I can feel his anger just the same. Parking next to his Camaro, the garage light clicks on, and I’m relieved Dom’s alone. But I know it won’t make a difference in the way this will go down. Whether it’s one or both of them, the outcome will be the same. I never had any intentions of them finding out this way. Thoughts still racing, chest aching from their expressions when they saw us in Roman’s back yard, confessions of love pouring from our lips have me walking through the lobby and straight into the fire. Dom stands in the middle of the garage, staring into space. Long, tense seconds tick past, and I prepare myself for everything. When I reach him, he turns to look at me with the eyes of a man I barely recognize, our connection nowhere to be found.

  “If you’re expecting me to hit you, fight you, you’re fucking pathetic.” He shakes his head, his eyes black with rage. “You didn’t see me as your brother. The one fucking time I needed you to see me, to hear me as your brother, you couldn’t stop playing parent. You couldn’t take me seriously. You assumed I was fucking around. Nothing new. Dominic being Dominic. But I saw it the minute you believed me, and it wasn’t ten months ago when I asked you to. It was back there when you realized it was too late. That was better than any punch I could throw. Fuck you. Get out.”

  I remain mute because I have zero defense I can think of, and with his words, I don’t want any. I want his wrath because for now, it’s better than
indifference. As long as he’s fighting me, there’s a chance for us.

  “Get the fuck out,” he repeats, clenching his fists.

  “I can’t.”

  “You’re fucking worthless to me now,” he says, moving to his toolbox and flipping it open.

  “I have been for some time. You’re your own man now.”

  “Nah, that’s not what you saw in me. You needed me as an excuse to play warden, to keep control.”

  “I witnessed it all, Dominic, from day one, I’ve been there—”

  “You’re not my fucking father!” He approaches me at full height, his eyes flaring, his teeth bared. “You barely share my blood. Get out. I’m not asking.”

  “I can’t.”

  “You’ll get no absolution from me.”

  “I know.”

  “Then what the fuck is there to say? Go to her. She may listen to your fucking lies tonight, but it won’t be me.”

  “Dom, I’m in love with her.”

  “Sounds familiar.” He strikes then, both hands to my chest, and pushes me up against a truck perched in the bay behind me. I don’t fight him as the war rages in his head. The same war I battled months ago before I sent him away, refusing to listen, refusing to believe his feelings for her were real. It’s then I hear the squeal of brakes and the give in the gravel just outside the doors.

  Fuck.

  Dominic glares at me, eyes full of contempt and condemnation. It’s then I wonder if my brother will ever look at me the way he used to, with respect and admiration. I felt the snap in him the minute he realized what was done. “I can’t even ask you if she’s worth it. Because I know she is. You got what you wanted. She’s yours. You knew exactly what the consequences would be, the damage it would do to us, to Sean, to her, so what the fuck do you want from me?”

  “I’m marking her tonight. I wanted you to be the first to know.” It’s then I see Dominic eye Sean past my shoulder.

  “You’re what?” Sean seethes from where he stands, and I glance over to see his fists clenching and unclenching at the threshold of the garage. He wants to end me. It’s so fucking transparent. He won’t forgive me anytime soon and never will once I’ve made it clear what I’m about to do.

  “I’m marking her for obvious reasons and for her protection. Order’s already out. It’s done.”

  “The fuck you are!” Sean charges me, and Dominic steps between us, his head tilted as if he didn’t quite hear me right.

  “You’re going to take it this far?” His tone is lethal, and I feel the second strike of betrayal emanating from his frame.

  “I have no choice.”

  “You have a fucking choice,” Sean explodes, “and so should she.”

  Dominic reads my posture, my intent, and nods. “Yeah, you do that. You fucking mark her. You better bold that shit, and then you can live with it.”

  “Dom!” Sean barks, incredulous. Dom shakes his head, turning back to him. He knows my reasoning, but Sean’s too broken to see it.

  Sean steps up to the two of us, the picture of aggression. “You’re going too fucking far to prove a point. It’s not enough you fucked us all?”

  “Not for me,” I counter as Dominic turns to face me with a smile so fucking wicked with intent that I know I’ve earned some of his hate. My brother hates me, and it’s deserved.

  I will hate, maim, or fucking murder anyone who tries to take her away from me. Anyone, but my brothers who love her just as fiercely, but what’s killing them both is she’s no longer fair play.

  “I didn’t lay a hand on her until a few months before you came back,” I tell them both because it bears being repeated—although it’s still not a defense.

  Sean charges for me but stops a foot away, his eyes bloodthirsty, the devastation harder to see now that it’s masked by fury, but I know it’s there. “Yeah, well, you also stole our ability to fight by keeping us gagged in your fucking zoo! And I’m willing to bet we had a chance to get her back until you stepped in!”

  “My orders didn’t stop you from leaving a necklace,” I look between the two of them, and neither speaks up, but neither seems surprised I know, either. “I’ll fucking apologize for loving her the minute you do. But what I did,” I shake my head, “I don’t expect your forgiveness.”

  “You won’t get it. And you don’t deserve her,” Sean clips.

  “And you do? You two idiots parading around like men, like soldiers, when you don’t know a fucking thing about sacrifice. And with her, you sacrificed nothing! Not a fucking thing! Until you know what that is, you aren’t capable of being the man she needs.” Jealousy boils over as I condemn them both. “And you know all to fucking well that you lost her the minute you shared her,” I look over to Dominic, “and chose this life over her.”

  “And you didn’t manipulate your way in?” Sean shakes his head with disgust. “The only thing I’m sorry for was that I ever believed your bullshit.” He spits on the ground, inches from my shoe.

  “I brought her in fully and told her the fucking truth because it was safer for her, all the while knowing she could take me down, take us all down! This isn’t about me, or you, or our fucking agenda right now. This is about her.” I step up to him and can feel the tension coiling, the raw violence radiating from his frame. He’s torn between striking his brother while determining me his enemy. “You pulling out, Sean? If so, leave your wings at the door. Tonight, I’m here on business.”

  Sean gawks at me. “You dare say this shit to me?”

  “Yeah, I am. I need to know how far you’re going to go with this.”

  “Who the fuck are you?” His voice is raw with pain.

  “I’m the man who would step in front of a bullet for either one of you, no questions asked, but I’m also the man who held your fucking hands before I shaped them into fists. I’m the same man—up until I met her—who put you both above everyone else. But right now, who am I right now? I’m the man who loves her enough to not let anyone or anything in front of her.”

  Sean’s voice shakes with hate as he looks over to me. “You playing I saw her first?”

  “Yeah, I am. And I think you fucking knew what line you were crossing, or else you wouldn’t have hidden her from me.”

  Sean rears back, his right catching me in the jaw a split second before Dominic pushes me back, relieving me of the brunt of the blow. Dominic rights me and glares back at Sean before turning to me. “You didn’t believe me, brother, but I believe you, now. Cecelia may be yours, but The Triple Falls chapter is mine, and as long as she’s here, she’s under my fucking protection. I’ve been running things here since you’ve been globetrotting, and if we’re going by rules, and business is business, you best goddamn mark her for no other reason than that. If you need anything from us from here on out, you’re going to have to ask nicely. Until then, we’re both done with you. You listening, big brother? We’re done with you on the non-business front. Get. The. Fuck. Out.”

  The lividity and finality of his tone rips a place inside of me that can’t be repaired. My relationship with my brother is never one I would ever have put into question a year ago. It’s the one place I had peace, solidarity, consistency, and I’ve ruined it with my actions. But amongst the wreckage, I found a different place, one that I never believed could exist for a man like me.

  Exhaling, I cup the back of my neck, and I find myself leveling with him in a way, a plea to hear me—fighting for his attention over his anger and hatred, a barter I never imagined I would have to make with my own blood. With the boy I raised and the man I shaped. But I can feel the shift, and it’s crippling. It takes me several seconds to speak before I look between them. “I’ve never asked you for anything, and I’m not asking you to forgive me, not now, but I feel I’ve given enough to ask you both this. For her, not for me, for Cecelia. You both brought her into this, and I’m keeping her in it for her safety and for my greed. I love her. And no matter what happens from here on out, I need your word that when the time comes, she
comes first. And make no mistake, I know what part I played, but the truth is, we all made this more than business.” I turn to Dominic, knowing the truth about that day at the library, knowing full well he saw her and was always aware of her. “You brought her in when I told you to keep her out of it. I told you what would happen. I just didn’t know how it would play out. We’re all to blame. All of us.”

  Dom charges toward the back door and slams his way through it. I stare after him, the hole he left in me burning as I run a palm down my jaw. I can feel the world we created slipping through my hands as my need to get back to Cecelia increases ten-fold.

  Am I losing her right now for the same reasons? My greed, my need for her, for something for myself. For the first time in my fucking life—and with her, in those precious weeks we had where our walls disappeared entirely—I felt liberated, like the version of myself I would have been had I not gone down this path. All I want now is to discard all of it for more time with her. With this knowledge, I have a clear understanding of why I deserve their wrath. Maybe she created the same sanctuary for them.

  Maybe Dom and Sean became the more desired versions of themselves with her. We all have sacrificed in some way for this life. Maybe she was their sanctuary. And I hate it if it’s true. If they found the same pleasure, the same belonging I have. I dismissed their feelings because I couldn’t wrap my head around the fact that they fucking shared the woman I moved heaven and earth just to steal weeks of happiness with. And together, they passed her back and forth and took pieces of my treasure, pieces I can never get back.

  This is my price, my penance for being the thief I’ve become. For falling in love, for stealing her. For living my life, for once, for myself.

  But I have consequences to face that will complicate things far more than what’s going on here.

  Resigned this is just the beginning, I face off with the man I’ve loved like a brother since the moment he crash-landed into our lives. In seconds, my hurt shifts, and I’m grieving for the boy that he was and the man he’s become and meant to me. We’ll never be the same. None of us will. It takes all my energy not to let the anger front and center, though every fiber of my being screams for flesh and blood. But this blood I can’t have, and my greed for her will never be sated.