Wings of Fire (The Obsidian Order Book 4)

by Katerina Martinez

  Draven’s bed.

  “I don’t know…” I said, trailing off. “That’s your bed.”

  “I won’t be joining you. I’ll be standing right here, making sure nothing goes wrong.”

  “I very much doubt you’ll be able to do much if something goes wrong inside my brain.”

  “I doubt it also, but I don’t want you to be anywhere else right now.”

  “You don’t… want?”

  Draven didn’t have a reply. Instead he watched me from where he stood, his body taut and tense. I stared at him for a long moment, and in that moment allowed the rush of feelings bubbling under the surface to make themselves known. It wasn’t just anger I felt, it had never been only anger.

  I’d loved this man once, and since then I’d at the very least come to like him, to see potential in him. I wasn’t sure if I could exactly say things had been going well before I learned the truth about what he’d done, I couldn’t speak for Draven. But I knew how I felt, and I felt like I had feelings for him. Powerful feelings that transcended the divide between worlds.

  I swallowed hard. “Draven… do you have any idea what it’s like to be me right now?”

  He shook his head. “I don’t.”

  “Look, I’m not gonna be the kind of person that lets herself be defined by the shitty things that happen to her. If you know me at all, then you know I’m trying to find strength in this. I don’t want to be pitied; I don’t want to be coddled. I want to move forward, not back.”

  “That’s what I want also. I don’t know how to apologize enough for what I did, for what I allowed to happen to you, but…” Draven took a step toward me, and I almost flinched away from him. Almost. Didn’t. “I have had nothing but time to think since you’ve been gone… unlike you, I don’t have access to many memories from my past. I can’t experience… us… before the fall. But I feel like my heart remembers. It remembers you, remembers the way you made me feel. If that were all there was, maybe I could get past this and move on should you decide you no longer wish to be close to me. But there isn’t only the distant past, there’s the now also.”

  “What… do you mean?”

  “I can’t deny the way I feel about you any longer. I know this isn’t the right time, I know we have to get you under so you can remember the incantation, but I don’t know what’s going to happen to you when you take that powder. I don’t know what will happen to us after you wake up. I have to tell you now.”

  I tried to swallow again, only this time nothing happened. “Draven…”

  He stepped closer. “I’m in love with you, Seline. I always have been. I was then, I am now. Falling through the rift is nothing compared to the way I’ve fallen for you.”

  My chest tightened. The edges of my vision started closing in, and I realized I wasn’t breathing. I took a breath, fixing that problem and bringing a little more clarity to my mind. What? I shook my head. It sounded like he’d said he loved me, but that couldn’t have been right. Draven didn’t love me. Draven didn’t love anyone. Not anymore. Not after all the stuff he’d been through.

  Draven was all cold stone to anyone who tried to get close, a closed book no one would ever read. And anyway, even if he could love, this felt like it had come out of left field. But had it? I tried to remember what things were like between us before I discovered the truth about what he’d done. The details were fuzzy, so much fighting had happened since then, but I remembered us kissing… I remembered the intimacy we shared.

  He hadn’t been such a closed book, after all. Not to me, anyway. And none of what had developed between us had been born out of the ashes of what we were. It was all new, and fresh. We were who we were now, and we were still close. Still on the path to something more than… whatever we were.

  I could sense those feelings inside of me, if I reached deep enough, only now they were closed away behind a tall wall. One I couldn’t jump over or climb over. A wall I couldn’t sidestep. A wall without a gate or door. The only way I was going to get through that wall was… well, by going through it; by smashing a hole in its side and shouldering my way through.

  Only I wasn’t ready for that; there was something much more important that needed doing first, and that wall was going to have to wait.

  I hadn’t spoken in some time, and Draven hadn’t tried to push, he hadn’t tried to get me to speak. I admired that about him. He was comfortable enough in silence and darkness, and the fact that he was a stone in the shape of a person meant he had worlds of patience at his disposal. He’d let me think things through without interrupting, and now, at least, I was ready to speak.

  “Draven…” I said, my voice barely a whisper. I shook my head. “I can’t say it back… not because it’s not true, I don’t know if it is or if it isn’t, but because this isn’t the time. I know you had to get this off your chest, but you have to trust me when I tell you, I’m coming back from this… and when I do, we’ll have the weapon we need in order to beat Valoel.”

  “And after?” he asked.

  “After what?”

  “After we’re done with him… will you leave us?”

  “I don’t know what I’m going to do after… but I’m not someone who abandons her friends or her responsibilities.”

  I walked a little closer to him, reaching for his hands because to not touch him would’ve caused me more pain than I wanted to feel right now. There’d been enough pain between us already. Now, all the cards were on the table. It was time to start healing.

  “I don’t expect you to feel the way I do,” Draven said, “And I know the timing wasn’t right, but I had to say it. I don’t know what the next few hours will bring. I don’t even know if we’ll see another day dawn over the fortress.”

  I squeezed his hands. “It will… I’ll make sure of it.”

  Draven nodded. “Will you stay here, at least?”

  I glanced over at the bed. There was no reason for me not to stay, so I walked over to it and sat down. I explained to Draven what I needed in order to make the powder work, and Draven prepared it. I watched him throw a few scraps of paper and twigs into a bowl. He lit the paper with a candle, and slowly the twigs caught fire, too.

  Draven brought the bowl over to where I was sitting on his bed. I opened the bag of powder Romeo had given me and got myself mentally ready to go on this journey. Breathe in through the nose, I thought, out through the mouth. Slowly I calmed myself, allowing my mind to settle into something like calmness—what calmness I could find considering what I was about to do—and then dropped some of the powder into the bowl.

  Immediately the powder caught fire, sending tufts of green and purple smoke into the air. I inhaled deeply once, then again, and then a third time. By the third drag my lungs were full of smoke, my head had started spinning, and I was already falling into the pillow. And not just into the pillow, but deeper, and deeper, until it felt like I was falling away from myself, away from Draven.

  It was like I could see him growing more and more distant, a tiny pinprick of light in an otherwise dark tunnel I was descending into. I could hardly feel my own body anymore. I couldn’t think. I couldn’t process any of what was happening.

  I only wanted to sleep.

  CHAPTER TWENTY

  “Seline…” a voice called out, one I recognized but couldn’t pinpoint. “Seline, wake up… you must wake up.”

  I tried to open my eyes, but they were heavy. Too heavy. It felt like I’d been asleep for years, like I’d forgotten how to open them. I squeezed them shut even more tightly, remembering the way eyes should feel, and then finally opened them.

  The light shining down on me was impossibly bright. I couldn’t see anything, not even the hand in front of my face. I turned away from the light, but that didn’t help either. It burned my eyes, and shutting them didn’t help. The light was everywhere. All I could do was ride it out, hoping it would fade away on its own.

  Slowly, eventually, the light began to die down. I blinked hard as my surroundi
ngs came into focus. I could feel the wind brushing past my nose. On the back of that breeze I smelled something like strawberries, ripe and ready to be eaten. I realized then that I wasn’t lying on my back, but slumped over a wooden desk.

  I’d fallen asleep on a scattering of papers. I peeled myself off them, leaving a little drool behind as I sat up. I was in my bedroom, my old bedroom. The sun blazed in through the open balcony window. Thin, white curtains fluttered with the breeze. On the table beside the papers was a bowl filled with fruits, some of them half-eaten.

  “Finally,” the voice said. It was a man’s voice, serious in tone but also kind and familiar.

  Who said that? The question burned on my lips, but I didn’t ask it. “I fell asleep,” I said, looking around my bedroom. It was opulent, and beautiful. My bed was huge, a massive four-poster draped with fine silk sheets on each corner. Everywhere I looked was white and gold, from the walls to the furniture, to the sunset and the clouds.

  “How long was I sleeping?” I asked.

  “For some time,” the voice responded. It left a little echo in my mind, his words lingering for an instant after he spoke. I turned my sleepy eyes up, and then I saw it. Him. He was magnificent. A tall creature covered white fur run through with black stripes. He stared back at me from behind a set of jade green eyes, his feline features thick and stocky, but also graceful and full of something like finesse.

  This creature standing in front of me was a griffin. White and black, with the head and body of a lion and large, feathery wings at his back. Around his neck he wore a golden collar, beautifully decorated with colorful gems and designs. He was regal, a royal of his kind, just like me. Looking at him, I felt all those familiar emotions rising, filling me with warmth.

  Safety. Comfort. He had been there ever since I was a child, watching over me, playing with me, teaching me the way of the world. He had the ability to shapeshift. One minute he wore his natural shape, the next he could become a huge dragon with massive, leathery wings. He could even mimic the form of an Aevian, if he wanted to.

  That had gotten us both into trouble before, especially in my younger years when I wasn’t allowed out of the castle. He would pretend to be my mother or father, and order the guards to let me through.

  “You do enjoy being lazy on these especially warm days, don’t you?” he asked.

  “I’m not lazy.”

  “I beg to differ, young lady, and so would your mother.”

  “When did you become my tutor? You’re meant to be the person I slack off with, not the person that makes me work.”

  “Yes, but this is important, Seline. Your birthday is soon, and your mother has asked you to memorize your speech and your incantation. You have barely started either, and both are incredibly complicated pieces.”

  “You’ve read them?”

  The griffin circled around the desk, his long nails clacking on the marble floor. “I may have peeked over your shoulder… there are lots of words in there for you to commit to memory. The speech you could probably take a little liberty with, but the incantation must be performed perfectly, otherwise…”

  “What? The world will explode? Give me a break.”

  “I don’t think you understand exactly what’s being asked of you.”

  I took a deep breath and turned my attention to the page on my desk. My stomach flipped into itself when I noticed the patch I’d dribbled on. Lucky for me, this wasn’t the incantation I was supposed to recite. This was only my royal coming of age speech. Something to say to the people of our city, to inspire them, to help them see that I was well on the path to becoming a queen they could count on, and not just some lazy slacker.

  Though the latter would probably end up being the more fun life to live.

  “Is the speech really necessary?” I asked, “I mean, why can’t I just talk from the heart?”

  “Because your heart is in the right place, but your mind isn’t. This speech has been meticulously prepared for you. It is unique to you, showcases all your strengths, speaks only to the truths about you that are already there. It is also properly toned and paced to make sure the people hearing it receive an inspiring experience.”

  “All that in a speech, huh?”

  I turned my eyes onto the page again and looked at the words… but the page under my nose wasn’t the right one. I stared at it for a long while, confused, then I started rifling through all the pages scattered around my desk. One after the other I looked through them, trying desperately to find the page with the incantation on it, but it wasn’t there.

  “Something wrong?” the griffin asked.

  “It’s not here. Damn, it’s not here. My mother’s gonna kill me.”

  “Kill you? Why?”

  “Because it’s the only copy!” I snapped. Frantic, my heart racing inside of my chest, I stood and paced around my bedroom. “Where the heck is it? I know I had it a moment ago… didn’t I?”

  “Do you mean, before you dozed off? I can’t recall.”

  I moved around to my bookshelf and started pulling books down, tossing them on my bed when I was done searching through each of them. It was crazy, yes. Why would my incantation be sitting inside of a book on a shelf? But it wasn’t on my desk, and at the end of the day, that thing wasn’t any old piece of paper.

  It was a piece of paper with an ancient and incredibly powerful magical spell written on it. The Gods only knew what it could do. For all I knew, it had disappeared into another universe, never to be seen again.

  “You should look over there,” the griffin said, pointing at a shelf on the wall.

  Frantic, I rushed over to it and started feeling around with my fingers, lifting small marble sculptures to look underneath them, feeling around behind them. I tried the dresser, next, pulling out all of my clothes and tossing them on the floor.

  “Where is it?” I yelled, “How could it have just disappeared like that?”

  “Oh, well, you know how unpredictable magic can be sometimes… an important item such as that one was something you should’ve probably been keeping a close eye on, just in case something like this happened.”

  I spun around on my heel, my finger cocked and ready to point sharply at the griffin trying very hard to hide the smugness in his voice. Then I saw it, the page. It was hanging from his lips. “Is that it?”

  The griffin set the page down on the desk and stared at it, angling its head to the side. “You know what,” he said, “I think it just might be.” He turned his big eyes at me and grinned.

  Whatever anger I’d been feeling then quickly dissipated, floating away on the evening breeze. “You’re the worst, you know that?”

  “What can I say? You’re usually so cool and collected, it’s fun to make you squirm a little sometimes.”

  I walked over to the desk, sat down, and pulled the page toward me. “That was totally not funny.”

  “It was from where I’m sitting. Now, you should concentrate on memorizing this, because you’re going to need to get it absolutely right when you say the words. One mispronunciation and the entire universe could implode.”

  I looked up at him, my eyes wide. “Are you serious?”

  He shrugged. “Maybe? Now, read.”

  Nodding, gave my attention to the words. I didn’t need to read the entire page. I didn’t even need to read more than a sentence. The entire incantation came rushing back to me like a flood. Every word, every syllable, every nuance of language and color… every ounce of magic. It was all there. It had all been there all along, and once I’d touched the memory, it was mine like it had never left.

  I opened my eyes and shot bolt-upright, gasping for air like I’d been holding my breath for hours. In my mind I held the incantation of the God stones, and the memory of that creature watching over me; looming over me like… like…

  “Hello, Seline,” Rey said.

  He’d been sitting on my stomach, and was the first thing I saw when I opened my eyes. I stared at him, wide-eyed, like I was bat
-shit insane. “Y… you…” I struggled.

  “Me.”

  “But how… how did you? How are you…? I have, like, tons of questions.”

  “I can answer all of your questions now.”

  I swallowed hard and stared at the little tabby. He was hardly a griffin anymore. I could remember, now, how many countless nights I’d curled up into his huge, furry body and slept there. They’d been some of the best nights I’d ever had, sleeping next to my Guardian. I very much doubted I’d be able to do the same with Rey as he was now, but at the same time…

  I reached for him and snatched him up. Rey struggled, but I pulled him close to my chest and hugged him tightly.

  “I don’t appreciate this,” Rey said.

  “Liar!”

  Rey stopped struggling and started to purr. “Okay, maybe I can accept this.”

  “I’m so glad you’re here… I wish you could’ve told me sooner.”

  “Me too.”

  I released Rey and let him settle on my lap, then I remembered. “Where’s Draven?”

  “Here,” Draven said. He’d been standing so still I hadn’t even noticed he was in the room at all. “How are you feeling?”

  “I know the incantation now, I can feel it flowing through me like fire. I need to say the words.”

  “All in good time,” Rey said, “I have a strong feeling those words are going to change you forever… change you in ways even I can’t predict. You’ll want to know what I can tell you before you take the plunge. Trust me.”

  Trust me. Those were the same words he’d said to me in my dream. Trust him. Trust him because he’d been there for me from the beginning, and even earlier than that. I didn’t know how any of this was possible, but Rey was right, of course. I wanted answers, and if he was willing—and able—to give them to me now, I wasn’t about to pass the opportunity up.

  “Okay…” I said, after a long pause. “I’m ready to hear it.”