The Marquess Who Kissed Me: (The Valiant Love Regency Romance) (A Historical Romance Book)

by Deborah Wilson

  “But if you stayed, I’m sure we’d do better,” Jackson said. “We’d work harder to impress you.” He grinned and she laughed.

  “Say you’ll stay, Lady Belle,” Johnathan said. “I’ll give you my pallet. I can sleep on the ground. I’m used to it.”

  She kissed Johnathan’s head, unable to help herself. She was dealing with so many emotions at the moment. His words had bought tenderness and pain to her chest.

  Voices rose and soon she was offered every pallet from every boy around her.

  She let her tears fall as she kissed a few more heads and cheeks. She wrapped an arm around two of them. She would hug them and hold them all forever if she could. “How fortunate I am to have met the most chivalrous men in England. You all make me the happiest woman in the world.”

  They smiled at her, some brighter than others. Wade looked troubled. Was he worried about something?

  “Thank you for the offers, but I can’t take your pallets,” she said. Taking was the last thing she wanted to do. She wanted to give. She’d give them her blood if she could, just so they’d know who they belonged to.

  “You’ll take mine.” Oliver walked over. “I don’t need it.”

  She looked up at Oliver. Her heart shot off as though she hadn’t just been alone with him.

  Coming on this trip hadn’t been part of the original plan, but now that she was here, Belle realized she couldn’t stay. Too much of Oliver and she lost control of her emotion. Her body was forever aware of his presence, answering when he called, answering when he didn’t.

  Even now, she was barely holding on after their conversation.

  “That’s a wonderful offer, but I couldn’t take your pallet any more than I can take one of theirs.”

  “I didn’t offer it to you.” He’d told her what would happen. She was taking his pallet.

  “That means she’s staying,” Johnathan cheered. Even he was aware of Oliver’s supreme authority at the moment.

  “Clean up the firepit,” Oliver told the boys. “Make sure we don’t leave a trail.”

  “A trail?” She was forced to let the boys go when they slipped past her fingers.

  Oliver approached her once the others were away. “A man who doesn’t wish to be found covers his firepit.”

  “And why wouldn’t they want to be found?”

  “It’s just a precaution. A skill I wish them to know, to remember.”

  “It better only be a precaution.” She grew serious. “But it’s clear you’re running from something. Is it your father? Nardo?”

  Oliver stiffened, and his eyes went blank. A moment later, sweat broke out over his brow. He didn’t blink.

  “Oliver?”

  He didn’t respond.

  She waved her hand in front of his face. “Oliver?” She raised her voice and he snapped out of his thoughts.

  “What?” He swayed a little. The daze came over him again.

  She placed her hands on his shoulders. “Oliver.”

  He looked at her and there was relief in his eyes. “Belle.” He captured the back of her neck and bent his head close to hers. “Belle.” Her name was whispered with great reverence. He was calling her from someplace deep within, calling out as though she were a refuge.

  Belle nearly swooned. He smelled good, exactly the way he had when he’d found her. She wondered if the place was far from this location. The woods seemed to go on forever.

  His breath brushed her cheek. “It has been a long time since I’ve heard that name. I don’t know if I’m running from anything or hiding from anyone, but you may be right. I want to find out the truth.” He leaned back and met her eyes. “I don’t want to be afraid of my father.” He couldn’t even say the man’s name again.

  “And me?” she whispered around her racing heart. “Are you afraid of me?”

  “Honestly, it might be one and the same.” He frowned. “I’m not sure. We’ll discover the truth. Together. If you stay.”

  He was giving her far more than she’d asked for. All she wanted was an answer. She hadn’t thought it would turn into one of his experiences that she’d often found him working on in his laboratory. But she knew she couldn’t turn away from this opportunity. She had to do this for him. She had to see where it led, and in the end, if it led to his freedom—and away from her forever— then so be it.

  Just like the young men who were kicking dirt on the firepit, Belle prayed for his happiness as well. “I’ll have the footman take back the measurements of the boys.”

  Oliver nodded, and she heard his shaky breath of relief. Had he thought she’d say no? Had she truly had a choice?

  She had. He’d have let her go if she’d wanted to leave. He had a hard exterior, but there was softness within him. It peeked out every once and awhile.

  She wanted to see more of that. “I need you to do something for me. If you truly want to discover the truth, this will be required.”

  His face turned hard as he braced. “What’s that?”

  “You’ll have to relax.” She smiled. “You’ll have to lower your guard and let me in.”

  “I have to let you in?” He sounded skeptical.

  “Did you not say we were going to discover the truth together? I can’t help if you shut me out.” She touched his arm. He stiffened, but then the tension fell. “Let me help you. Let me in.”

  He closed his eyes and nodded. “All right.” When he opened his eyes, there was anger, but she knew it wasn’t at her. “I won’t let him scare me.”

  She wouldn’t either. How beautiful it would be to finally be able to give him something when he’d given her so much already?

  And how strange that it would happen in the woods where it all started.

  He shook his head as he studied her. “I’ve done many things in my life, Belle, but this seems the most dangerous.” In a lower tone, he said, “You’ve always been a danger to me.”

  She swallowed. “Don’t worry. I’ll only hurt you if I know it will make you better.” And if walking away for good, leaving Cassius and all her friends was the prize, then she’d do it.

  He smiled. “Then let’s begin.”

  ∫ ∫ ∫

  4 6

  * * *

  “When mighty Roast Beef was the Englishman's food,

  It ennobled our veins and enriched our blood.

  Our soldiers were brave and our courtiers were good

  Oh! the Roast Beef of old England,

  And old English Roast Beef!”

  As they marched through the woods, the boys continued to lift their voices as they sang a British patriotic tune. Landcastle, who’d surprised everyone with his voice, led the song. He’d given the boys a selection to choose from and Oliver had not been surprised at all when they chose the one about food.

  Originally written for a play by Henry Fielding, it was recomposed by Richard Leveridge and became a Naval tune. Oliver had also been told it was played in America for the marines whenever they sat down for roast beef.

  The song was making him hungry and a few times, he thought to stop it.

  But then Belle would laugh uncontrollably whenever Johnathan thrust his fist in the air and cried, “Roast beef.” His excitement was only matched by Jackson. They were both naturally happy and seemed to have formed a bond over their exuberant attitude.

  He’d noticed their closeness brought Wade some displeasure, but Oliver wouldn’t step in unless it became an issue of great magnitude.

  They started up an incline and Landcastle helped Belle most of the way, allowing her to lean when she needed to. Shepard hadn’t come. Belle had urged him to return to the house.

  He and Oliver had shared a look before he left. Shephard was protective of her. He acted as though he were her brother. Oliver would work hard to not disappoint him.

  He’d hurt Belle in the past. He didn’t want to do that anymore.

  When next they stopped, it was farther from the house and high on a plateau that allowed them to see the forest that wen
t toward the ocean a little farther away. A few paces back was more of the mountain, but they’d stop at this level.

  It was time to build shelters. This was where they would stay for some time.

  He looked around at the people beside him. Everyone looked in wonder at the sight of the hills.

  Belle’s happiness was accompanied by exhaustion.

  She’d walked farther than anyone today. First from the house and then from the place they’d made camp. She had to be tired. Oliver was only thinking about that now as he noticed how pink her cheeks were and how hard she was breathing.

  She swayed a little and Oliver reached for her, but Landcastle saw it as well and wrapped an arm around her waist.

  “Why don’t you sit for a moment?” the earl said.

  Oliver managed to fight back his sudden rage and tell himself that the earl was only being helpful as he took Belle over to a fallen tree.

  And just because Oliver had asked Belle to stay so that he could discover the truth about his fears, it didn’t mean they’d end up together. Yet the word mine lingered in his mind. It kindled his anger while he watched Landcastle continue to give Belle attention.

  He turned away before he could act out.

  Oliver turned to Clive. “This is the place.”

  Clive nodded and began to give instructions to the boys. It was time to start building and Oliver knew they’d have all the materials they’d need to get it done. There were fallen branches, mud, and leaves. Landcastle gave Belle his water and then went to help the boys.

  He was surprised when the young men began to fight over who would build Belle’s shelter. They thought she should have her own. He couldn’t help but think they all either saw her as their mother or a queen. Likely both.

  Oliver ended the bickering by saying, “I’ll take care of Belle’s needs.” Besides the view, there was another reason why he’d chosen this spot. “Back to work. I want to see a large pile of branches taller than me in the next hour.” The boys spread out in teams.

  Belle watched him as he walked over.

  He sat by her side on the fallen tree. “There is a cave right there.”

  Belle turned to look at the grassy hill that sat opposite of the view. “I don’t see a cave.”

  “That’s because I covered it. I discovered it a few years ago. It will provide you both shelter and privacy.”

  “A cave?” She smiled. “Does your land lack any wonders? I didn’t know there was a cave.”

  “It’s actually rather large and leads out onto the ocean.” He’d spent a great time in the cave. It was big enough for a small town to fit in. Over the years, he and his men had built structures to keep it strong.

  Her eyes widened. “I’m not afraid of the dark, but I don’t want to sleep in a large cave by myself.”

  He smiled. “Don’t worry. I’ve put up barriers throughout the cave. You’ll only have access to a small section.”

  She calmed. “I wondered why you come out here so often. I often imagined you sitting around on a pile leaves doing nothing all day.”

  He laughed. “No, there’s always something to do. I’ve built shelters throughout most of the property. There are food and supplies every few miles.”

  “Just in case?” she asked.

  He nodded slowly. He was being forced to face a part of him he didn’t like to analyze. “I’m like him, aren’t I?”

  She took his arm. Their log was backed against a tree with the view before them. No one could see them. “I honestly wouldn’t know. Why don’t you tell me what he was like?”

  He took a troubled breath and stood. “Later. I should inspect the cave for cleanliness and then help the boys with their shelters.”

  “All right.” Her soft smile and warm eyes shined with patience.

  She didn’t push, and he began to settle.

  “Is there anything I should be doing?” she said. “I don’t want to just sit here while everyone else works.”

  “I’ll bring you some dead plants. You can peel them and make string. I’ll show you.” He left and returned. He showed her how to do it and once he saw she grasped the concept, he went to her cave.

  It was about fifty steps to the hillside. She’d be able to see the camp from the entrance and they’d be able to see her if she lifted the pallet that laid behind the wall.

  He’d built a natural wall that matched the foliage of the hill to cover the entrance built of mud and branches and covered in a layer of grass. He grabbed the wall’s side, picked it up, and set it aside. The inside appeared clean and untouched, just as he’d left it. Another wall built of clay and rock blocked off the rest of the cave. There was already a lantern, thick pile of pallets, and chest of provisions there. More pallets hung on the walls. He inspected everything for damage and insects and, using a broom he’d made from reeds, he swept it out before returning for Belle.

  “I love it,” she cried once her eyes took her fill of it.

  He looked at her in bewilderment. “You love it?”

  She looked at him and laughed. “Compared to what I thought I’d be sleeping in, this is a castle.”

  “Well then, I’m glad my queen likes it.” The words came out much more seriously than he’d intended. He’d been thinking about the way the young men treated her, how they all seemed ready to fall on their swords if asked to.

  She’d called it a castle. Queens lived in castles. He hadn’t meant that she was his queen, but a queen to the boys. But now she was looking at him with such wonder and warmth that he couldn’t take it back. Besides, there was some accuracy in the statement. She was a treasured part of his soul.

  “Will you come back tonight so we can talk about your father?” She had that sleepy look in her eyes again.

  He nodded. “When everyone is asleep, I’ll come.” He didn’t want anyone thinking anything else was going on between them. There was still so much of himself to uncover. “Rest. I’ll wake you when it’s time to eat.”

  She nodded and fell onto the pallets without another word.

  As he walked away, he heard her moan and whisper, “It smells like you.” A smile was on her lips, so he was led to believe that pleased her.

  He watched her far longer than he knew he should. It was tempting to rest alongside her and fit her body against his. He’d never slept by her before. Even during that month when she’d lived with him, he’d kept out of her bed. He’d hated that she tempted him while she was weak.

  He didn’t hate the pull he felt for her now. Though he was stronger physically, there was no doubt in his mind that she was mentally the strongest person she knew.

  He’d been barbaric to her repeatedly. How much more of him would she put up with until she finally moved on?

  He was supposed to be letting her in now. During their time in the woods, he wasn’t allowed to push her away. Unlike his cave, he couldn’t erect barriers to the depths of him anymore. He had to be fully exposed in order to get to the bottom of his issue. A whisper in his mind told him he was making a bad decision. It told him to remain suspicious of Belle and not to trust her.

  But that voice had often told him to distrust the other people in his life and nearly every situation he’d ever encountered. He’d depended on that voice to keep him alive, but now he wondered if it had been keeping him back from truly living all this time.

  There was danger in living a full life, in taking a chance on it.

  Was he ready to be in danger?

  He didn’t know and wouldn’t know if he didn’t give this time with Belle everything he had.

  ∫ ∫ ∫

  4 7

  * * *

  Belle was awake when Oliver stepped into the cave. She’d found one of his shirts in the chest and had put it on. The ends fell past her knees. The sleeves past her hands. It was like a night rail, only it smelled like him.

  He stopped at the entrance and looked at her.

  She smoothed her hand down the shirt. “I hope you don’t mind.” She was sitting on
the chest. The lantern hung from a hook he’d place at the top of the cave. It was tall enough for them both to stand in.

  “I don’t mind.” He still didn’t move. Her eyes burned a path down her body before returning to her gaze. “So long as you don’t mind me openly staring at you.”

  Her cheeks burned, and her eyes widened.

  He smiled and moved closer. “I’m to be an open book to you, aren’t I?” He sat by her. “I think it means I should say what I’m feeling.”

  She swallowed, unsure if she could take what he was offering but knew she had to for his sake. She’d been nervous while she’d been alone. Now that he was here, next to her, she felt safe. “Are there any predators in the woods?”

  “A few. Foxes, but they stay by the river and bother the rabbits and other small animals. Foxes don’t attack humans.”

  “They don’t?” She thought about their sharp teeth.

  “They don’t,” he said. “If you see a fox and leave it alone, he’ll leave you alone as well.”

  “I trust you,” she said. But she was still nervous.

  “If you want, I can stay and get up before anyone else does.”

  “No.” She could already see what that would look like. “I’ll not have you sitting on a corner while I’m on the pallets. It’s bad enough you used to do it in a chair. I’ll not have you sleeping on the ground.”

  He smiled. “All right.”

  She looked around. The cave wasn’t so bad. “I’ll be fine.” She looked at him again. The one benefit of sleeping outside was seeing the night filled with stars, but Oliver’s eyes had the same effect on her. They moved her and left her breathless.

  “I want to kiss you,” he said. “Though I knew I shouldn’t.”

  She was definitely breathless now. “Why shouldn’t you?”

  “Because…” He paused and pulled his brows together. “I wouldn’t want to stop at kissing. Also, I don’t want to lead you to believe that I can give you something beyond the physical, and I know that’s what you want.”

  She did want something beyond the physical. “Why can’t you give me more?”