Will of a Tiger

by Iris Yang

“It says Hong Kong”—Mr. Tu pointed to the word—“and Sadao Endo, a name. No idea which one is he. How come only his name is labeled?”

  “Perhaps he took the photo?” Chen Bin guessed.

  “Hold on. Did you say Sadao Endo?” Since the name was in Japanese, it took Birch awhile to understand Mr. Tu’s accented pronunciation.

  “Yes.”

  Birch burst into laughter. “Sorry,” he apologized to the startled onlookers. “I know who he is. He was a fighter pilot, an ace in the Japanese Air Force.” He paused, eyes blazing. “Believe it or not, Sadao Endo was the first pilot Danny and I shot down together.”

  The group erupted, amazed by what they’d heard.

  Chen Bin exclaimed, “I remember! It was a couple of months after you and Danny started working together.”

  Birch beamed, unable to suppress his delight and pride.

  “Oh, my goodness,” cried Xiao Mei. “I remember it, too. You and Danny came back home several weeks afterward and told Dad about the dogfight. I heard the conversation. Both you and Danny were so animated. Dad couldn’t stop smiling.”

  Birch grinned. “It wasn’t easy. Even though we shot him down, he got us a few times, too.”

  “The two of you looked happy, of course,” said Xiao Mei, “but…funny at the same time.” She turned to more listeners gathered around them, pointing to her left elbow. “Each of them had a cast on his left arm. Dad joked that they could pass as twins.”

  “Danny’s canopy flew off,” Chen Bin added, “and your plane looked like Swiss cheese.” He raised his chin an inch. “But we patched them up in no time.”

  “We were thrilled to score our first victory together. But we had no idea that Sadao Endo was an ace.”

  Mr. Tu tilted his head, trying to remember something. All of a sudden his eyes widened. “Wait a second.” He flipped through the stack of photos again and fished out another one. It was an aerial shot. Three fighter planes were in the frame—the one in the middle was spiraling downward while two Tiger Teeth-painted airplanes flanked it. The reporter turned the photo around and pointed to the inscription. “It says ‘the last moment of Sadao Endo.’”

  Birch took the picture and studied it.

  The planes were too far away to see detail except for the closest one. The canopy was gone. A sheet of paper of some sort was plastered onto the pilot’s face. A long white scarf flapped behind his neck in the wind.

  “This is Danny. When his canopy flew off, the map on his lap was lifted by the wind and covered his face. He was blinded for a moment.”

  The gathering cheered.

  “It was our first strike on Hong Kong. Twelve B-25s and ten fighters,” said Chen Bin, tears forming in his eyes. “Meng Hu and Du Ting were there, too.”

  Birch nodded. “We caught the Japs by surprise. When the boys dropped the bombs, the area below us came alive with smoke and debris. Some Japanese fighter planes came up, trying to reach our B-25s. That’s when Danny and I swooped down.”

  “It’s a fighter pilot’s job to protect the bombers,” Chen Bin explained to the kids.

  “Together we found our target and finished him. At the end of the day, we lost one bomber, but guess how many enemy planes did we leave in smoking ruins around Hong Kong that day?”

  The people looked at him, their eyes wide open, eager to hear the answer.

  “Twenty!” Chen Bin said with pride in his voice.

  The crowd was in awe.

  Mr. Tu grinned, and then rubbed his chin, still looking confused. “Forgive me, but I don’t get it. Are we talking about the same Sadao Endo?”

  “I know what you’re thinking. How come his name is listed on this snapshot, which has nothing to do with an air fight?”

  Everyone nodded.

  “Well, Hong Kong is where we shot him down. I know the Japs looked for his wreckage later on. This is what they were doing.”

  A satisfied smile broke across Mr. Tu’s lips. “It’s hard to believe that there is a fascinating story behind this simple snapshot. Who knew?” He wrote a few lines on the back of the photo.

  “The man who tortured Jasmine was named Sadao.” Xiao Mei narrowed her eyes. “I know it can’t be the same man. I couldn’t help but wish it was the same person, though.”

  Birch said, “I had the same wish. You’re right. It can’t be the same man—one was an army officer, and the other was a pilot. But Danny said it was fate. In a small way, we had our revenge.”

  “Oh, I wish Danny could see these photos.” Xiao Mei sighed.

  “He’d be thrilled.” A wistful look came over Birch.

  “Uncle Birch.” A six-year-old boy stepped in front of the adults, interrupting the conversation. He was too young to be a member of the club, but he had come with his father, a veteran.

  “What is it?”

  “I thought the Japs looked like devils. How come they don’t have fiery eyes and huge mouths?”

  “They don’t look like devils. In fact, Japanese look like Chinese. They have relatively flat facial features.”

  “So, how come they are called Ri Ben Gui Zi—Japanese Devils?”

  “It’s what they did that made them devils. They invaded our country and killed a lot of people.”

  Nodding, the youngster asked again, “Uncle Birch, what does it feel like to get shot at?”

  Birch hesitated, trying to find a way that a child could relate.

  “Do you like injections at the doctor’s office?” Xiao Mei knelt down and put herself at eye level with the boy.

  “No! I hate the needles. They hurt.”

  “Okay, being shot by a gun feels like being stuck by a needle thousands of times.”

  The kid gasped. His hands flew to his gap-toothed mouth. Then, bit by bit, he moved his hands and lifted his arm. His tiny fingers grazed over Birch’s shiny medals. Staring at the ex-fighter pilot with his curious eyes, the boy asked in his childish voice, “May I see your scar?”

  Xiao Mei turned to her husband, concern in her eyes. The pallor of her face seemed even paler.

  The boy’s father scolded his son for being impolite.

  But Birch hesitated only a moment. Slowly, he unfastened the first three buttons and opened his uniform, revealing a white tank top and the wound below his right collarbone. He sat up straighter.

  The boy stepped closer and looked intently at the scar. Then he reached up and blew a few gentle puffs of air. “That’s what Mommy does when I have a booboo.”

  Birch felt a lump lodge in his throat. He tucked the boy under his arm.

  “Next time I’m in the doctor’s office,” the kid declared, his apple-like cheeks flushed, “I won’t cry. When I grow up, I want to be a brave man just like Uncle Birch.”

  The youngster’s innocent words melted Birch’s heart. He pulled the boy closer and pressed his mouth to his forehead. When he finally looked up, he cleared his throat and said, “Let’s clean up and get ready to fly.”

  Flying was the highlight of their ceremony. It always brought tears to his eyes when he watched the forget-me-nots’ blue petals float down from the sky. It had taken Chen Bin and him a few tries to figure out the best way to drop the flowers.

  As everyone cleared the tables, a girl ran out of the house. “Uncle Birch,” she shouted, waving her arms. A look akin to panic appeared on her youthful face.

  “What’s wrong? Is someone hurt?”

  “Yes. Hurry. Auntie Xiao Mei—” The girl didn’t get to finish. Birch ran toward the house.

  Inside, Xiao Mei leaned over the kitchen sink. Her face was as pale as chalk.

  “What happened?” Birch asked. His voice filled with anxiety.

  “I must eat something—” She threw up again.

  “Oh, God! We have to see a doctor.”

  “No, no. We’re in the middle—” Xiao Mei waved a hand.

  “Don’t worry.” Little Tiger urged, “Go to the hospital, Uncle Birch. We’ll be fine. Take care of Auntie Xiao Mei.” The teenager stood tall and looked
mature.

  “Go!” Chen Bin stepped into the kitchen.

  Birch scooped Xiao Mei into his arms.

  Chapter 56

  Birch sat on a chair in the hallway, his head hung low, eyebrows pulled together. How had he missed the signs? All morning he’d seen the pallor on Xiao Mei’s face.

  He wrung his large hands until the joints cracked. He felt terrible, not just for what had happened on that day, but looking back, he realized what a poor husband he’d been. Xiao Mei had been taking care of him her entire life.

  I’ve never even told her that I love her!

  His mouth curved into a frown at the thought. Birch loved Xiao Mei, but as a typical Chinese man, he didn’t express his feelings. This must change!

  He paced up and down the hall in front of the closed exam room. The quick tap of his cane thudded heavier with each step and echoed in the corridor. What would I do if she was seriously ill? No matter how sick she was, he was determined to take care of her as she’d cared for him.

  Finally, a young doctor stepped out of the exam room. His mouth curved into a wide grin. “Congratulations,” he chirped, shaking his head. “What a miracle!”

  Birch rushed inside. When he saw the euphoric glow on Xiao Mei’s face, he believed what the doctor had said. Settling on the edge of the bed, he wrapped his long arms around her. His broad-shouldered body virtually swallowed her petite figure. When they finally let go of one another, Birch said, “I can’t believe this. I’m going to be a father!”

  Xiao Mei nodded. Excitement made her look younger than her thirty-three years.

  “I’ll be a father,” repeated Birch.

  “I wish Dad were here,” she said.

  “He’d be thrilled,” Birch agreed. Without his father’s support, they wouldn’t be a couple, let alone parents.

  “So, which would you like to have, if you could choose? A boy or a girl?” Xiao Mei asked.

  “A girl.”

  “Really?”

  “Yes. I’ll name her Phoenix.” Birch thought about the conversation he’d had with Danny in prison. He’d hoped his daughter would grow up like the mystic bird, rising from the ashes of the horrid war, becoming an incredible woman like Daisy or Jasmine.

  “Bai Feng Huang? That’s a lovely name.”

  “So—” He put his right hand on her stomach, reveling in the newfound happiness. “What about you?”

  “A boy,” she answered without a trace of hesitation.

  A boy was so much more important than a girl in China. A boy would carry the family name and lineage, while a girl would marry into another family. Traditionally, without a son, the family was viewed as ended since a daughter couldn’t keep the family name going.

  Having one child was already a miracle. The odds of having another was slim. So her reply wasn’t a surprise. Yet, Birch asked again, “Why?” He was in a playful mood. His large eyes blazed.

  “A boy will be like you—tall, handsome, brave, kind. He’ll be a Tiger, just like his dad.”

  Her answer caught Birch off guard. That wasn’t what he’d expected. Xiao Mei never ceased to amaze him. He placed a warm kiss on her flushed cheek. “His name?”

  “Bai Dan Ni.”

  “That’s the same name I told Danny I would give if I had a son.” Birch gave her an appreciative nod and rubbed her stomach. “No matter whether it’s a boy or a girl, you shouldn’t do chores from now on.”

  “I know. The doctor warned me. We need to hire—”

  “No.”

  “No? Then how—?”

  “I will do everything. I’ll clean. I’ll cook—”

  “You? When was the last time you cooked?” A sweet grin turned her mouth up in amusement.

  “Uh…never.”

  “See,” she lilted, patting his cheek.

  “I’ll learn.” Birch gave her his most charming smile. “Any man who can fly a plane can learn to cook.”

  “No doubt. But a man should do important things. Now that the reporters visited us—”

  “Taking care of you and the little Phoenix, or Dan Ni, is the most important thing.”

  Her grin wouldn’t go away. Out of habit, her right hand twisted the wedding band on her ring finger. She’d been doing this regularly since they were married.

  “Xiao Mei, I’m so sorry.” Suddenly Birch looked downhearted. “I’ve been selfish. You’ve been taking care of me all your life. And what have I done for you? Nothing.” He lowered his head; his shoulders sagged.

  “My dearest Birch, don’t be silly.” Stroking his cheeks and chin, she said, “Has a day gone by that you haven’t seen me smiling?” An impish grin bloomed on her lips. “I like a Hungry Tiger, you know.”

  Birch touched his wife’s rosy face. “I told Danny you called us Hungry Tigers. He liked the nickname. We were so hungry.” A wistful look came over him. “We talked about your dishes constantly.”

  “Danny would never guess what a Hungry Tiger means to us now.” Xiao Mei elicited a smile from him, trying to lighten the mood. The redness on her cheeks deepened.

  Birch didn’t smile. He was still lost in memories. “The day before…he said he wanted to stay in Daisy’s room when we came back home.”

  Her eyebrow formed an inquisitive arch.

  “I could tell he was torn.”

  “What would Danny do, if Daisy survived? Do you think he would have fallen for her?”

  “I wondered about that, too. Jasmine loved him so much and died for him in such a painful way. Danny would never forget her. But how could he refuse Daisy’s love if she had survived? It would have taken time, though.”

  “Well, at least now he doesn’t have to face such a dilemma.”

  “Hopefully he’s in Heaven. And he’s a big brother to both of them.”

  “Or a husband to both!” Her smile changed into a playful grin. “Now that he’s a god, and they’re angels. Growing up in our society, Jasmine and Daisy wouldn’t mind sharing him.”

  “Would you mind sharing me?” Birch teased.

  “No.”

  “Really?”

  “Don’t forget, I was a Ya Tou. The best hope for a servant like me was to be your second wife. For the longest time, that was my dream. I wished you’d marry a girl like Mary—attractive, educated, having the same family status as yours. Then one day you’d feel sorry for me, and take me as your concubine.”

  Birch’s eyebrows furrowed. “How much did I hurt you?”

  “No, my silly Shao Ye, you didn’t hurt me. I was willing, even as your servant for the rest of my life. I had choices. You and Dad gave me freedom. You wanted me to have my own family. Remember? I chose to stay.”

  “God, why didn’t I marry you earlier?” Birch shook his head, muttering under his breath, “Those damned doctors! We wasted so much time.”

  Out of the blue, Xiao Mei looked uneasy. “You…you have to forgive me. I…” she stammered, “I’ve been keeping a…secret from you for a long time.”

  His eyebrow rose in bewilderment.

  “The doctors weren’t too far off the mark. I…I…” Xiao Mei looked at him with a sense of guilt. She picked up his hand and pressed it to her mouth. Kissing his palm, she murmured something like, “I’m sorry.”

  “What are you talking about?”

  “Wang Hong told me of an herbal remedy. Deer Antler—”

  “Deer Antler?”

  “Yes, it’s a…Yang tonic. I asked several herbalists. Wang Hong was right. So I added it regularly to your diet ever since you woke up. Forgive me, Birch.”

  “Why didn’t you tell me?”

  “Would you have taken it?”

  “I don’t know… No, I take it back, I wouldn’t have. My pride would have gotten in the way.” Birch brushed a loose strand of her hair from her cheek. His eyes roved over her face like a physical touch. “Deer Antler is expensive. How on earth could you afford it?”

  “I used all my salary. I used to take off after payday. I—”

  “Oh, yes. I
remember.”

  “I even lied to Dad.”

  Birch’s eyes rounded.

  “He asked me what I was doing.” Xiao Mei lowered her head and whispered, “I lied to him. Told him I needed to go to the Buddhist temple to pray for my family. The truth is that I wanted to buy the herb far from our house—”

  “You were afraid?”

  “People like to gossip. I didn’t want them to talk about you.”

  Birch touched her cheek. “You had no idea that you’d be my wife one day.”

  “That didn’t matter. I just wanted you to be happy and healthy. To be the strong man you should be.”

  He cradled her face and drew her close to kiss her lips. “Have I ever told you how much I love you?”

  “You don’t have to. I know. I feel—”

  He opened his arms and folded her in his embrace again. “I love you very much, my Xiao Mei!”

  Chapter 57

  Birch and Xiao Mei had a girl. As they wished, little Phoenix grew up happy and healthy. The joy of being a father never ceased touching Birch’s soul. Whenever he looked at his daughter, he would see Daisy and Jasmine. Her voice, as sweet as a jingle bell, bore a striking resemblance to Daisy’s. And like Jasmine, two dimples emerged every time she smiled.

  To the Bai family, life was good and time slid by in true contentment.

  But the passage between Taiwan and the Mainland remained blocked.

  Birch held on to the hope that he would move back to Yunnan one day. He was always prepared to take on the demanding task once the opportunity presented itself. I’m going to find Danny. I’ll bring him back to the U.S. to his family. He recited those phrases, reassuring himself.

  In the back of his mind, though, he was worried that he would never get the chance. That was why he’d put so much energy into educating the younger generation, including the kids in his flying club and his daughter. When Phoenix was old enough, he took her hiking and taught her rock climbing. He told her the family’s stories. He spoke to her half in Chinese and half in English.

  His concern wasn’t unwarranted.

  The door to the Mainland never opened before persistent coughing and shortness of breath sent Birch to hospital in 1964. The diagnosis was grim—emphysema. Years of smoking had created serious damage to his lungs.