Smoke Reactivated

by Cherry Laska

  She wanted to call Joe but had lost her cell in the crash. She needed to get to her room for the privacy she needed to clean up and to use the phone.

  Jessica stepped toward the door that led to the pro shop and the hotel. The big wooden door looked heavy, and she was feeling weak. Thankfully it opened outward and moved when she leaned her weight on it. With the brim of the hat low, she walked confidently past the bartender and the girls behind the cash register. To avoid being picked up by the security cameras that covered every square inch of the hotels in Vegas, Jessica kept her head down and tried to keep her gait steady, which wasn’t easy. She was feeling woozy and her head was killing her.

  She made her way down the corridor of shops toward the casino. She had to find out what was happening. Her stomach clenched, and she felt like she was going to be sick. The room grew dark as she fought to keep control. Jessica leaned against the wall pretending to admire one of the Chanel purses on display while she took slow, deep breaths, struggling to stay conscious. When the feeling had passed, she forced herself to move on. She was getting weaker, but she had to keep going. She had to find out if her kids and Joe were safe and if they had secured the chemicals. She had to find out about Mark.

  When she passed in front of the sports bar she saw one of the broadcasts had been interrupted by the news. The correspondent was interviewing eyewitnesses near the demolished helicopter on the fairway. Jessica watched two amateur recordings of their helicopter coming down. Holy shit. We got lucky.

  With great difficulty, Jessica made her way to the elevator. Her body had already begun to swell and stiffen from the trauma. When she was finally in her room, she grabbed the cordless phone from the desk. Joe’s phone rang three times. Oh, please. Jessica fought off the tears that were coming with all the pain and emotion from the day. “Please pick up,” she said out loud just before hearing his voicemail greeting. She was sure he was dealing with a shit storm, but she really needed to talk to him. She heard the beep. Crap.“We crashed. I’m so sorry. I’m fine. Just a little banged up. I’m in my room. I lost my phone.” A sob escaped her before she could suck it up. “Marshall seems to be coming through, but I think he broke his leg and maybe has a concussion.” Jessica fought off another wave of nausea. The blinding pain in her head was unbearable, but her kids, Joe, and her duty were more important. She was vaguely aware she was rambling and not making much sense. She tried to pull it together and refocus. “Mark … he was shot. I’m really worried. He wasn’t moving. I think they secured the chemicals and Zircone was taken out, but I need to see.”

  Jessica started toward the door and noticed the blood from the wound on her arm had been dripping onto the carpet. It had saturated the fibers and was now forming a visible pool. She had the wherewithal to know that she couldn’t go out in public covered in blood. She still had the phone. “I’m heading back over. I need to make sure for myself that the kids are okay.” She needed to bandage her wound. She pulled off the jacket, felt dizzy, and took several deep breaths to fight it off. “I’m going to bandage my arm and …” Looking down at her arm she said, “That’s a lot of blood.” The room began to spin and everything went dark.

  83

  THE YOUNG OFFICER DROVE LIKE a bat out of hell with Joe urging him to get him over there as fast as possible. It had been a wild, loud ride from the Convention Center to the Wynn with lights flashing and siren blaring. They came speeding around the corner of the self-park garage and almost slammed into the rear end of an emergency response vehicle. The long line of ambulances, fire trucks, and police cars were parked along the backside of the hotel.

  Joe yelled, “Thanks,” and jumped out. He ran in the direction of the course and stopped at an ambulance where EMTs were loading Marshall in the back. Joe flashed his credentials and asked the EMTs about Marshall and the other crewmember.

  “We won’t know for sure until they run some tests at the hospital, but this guy looks like he’ll be okay. We gave him a sedative to calm him down, but he’s the only one we found. If you know somebody else was on board, you need to tell us what you know, and we need to start a search.”

  Dread washed over Joe at the thought that Jessica had been thrown from the wreckage. He felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. He took it out and saw he had a missed call and had a voicemail from a local number. He hit play, turned his back on the EMTs, and plugged one ear, straining to hear the message. He let out a sigh. He’d never felt so relieved, but it was short-lived when he heard the way Jessica sounded before a thump followed by silence. Joe ran off as the EMTs shouted after him to wait.

  Joe opened Jessica’s room and found her on the floor. The sight of her lying there covered in blood terrified him. “No,” he whispered and rushed to her.

  84

  JOE PRAYED AS HE FELT for a pulse. He found one and moved quickly and skillfully assessing Jessica’s injuries. All the blood was coming from her arm. It was bad, but it looked worse than it was. It had scared the living shit out of him when he first saw her. He applied pressure to the wound while grabbing his phone. He forced himself to push his emotions down and do what he was trained to do. By the time the line connected on the third ring, he was in control. He gave the identification code, reported the situation, and said what he wanted. He hung up and concentrated on providing care until the CIA medical and cleaning team arrived.

  SEVERAL HOURS LATER, JOE AND Jessica were alone. “Smoke … Jessica … open your eyes. Look at me,” he said firmly, watching as she struggled to get her eyes fully open. “That’s it. You’re safe. You’re all right now,” he said more gently. After the med team arrived, they’d gotten Jessica cleaned up and had moved her to the bed in his room. This gave the cleaning crew access to clean her room while eliminating the chance of her kids or someone dropping by to see her. He was sitting over her holding an ice pack on her head. “Do you remember what the doctor just said? He told you not to sleep.”

  Doctor? She barely remembered someone being there.

  “You have a concussion. You’re fine, but I need you to stay awake.”

  Jessica saw how concerned Joe looked and wanted to do what he asked, but the pull of sleep was strong. Her eyelids were so heavy.

  “No, don’t close your eyes. Sweetheart, stay with me. Come on. Please look at me.” He stroked her cheek and searched her eyes for confirmation she wasn’t just looking in his direction but was actually seeing him.

  She panicked remembering some of what had transpired. “My kidsss?” She wasn’t fully alert and her words came out a little slurred.

  “They’re safe. They’re okay.”

  She mumbled something Joe couldn’t understand.

  “Smoke, do you hear me?” When she didn’t respond, he decided maybe he needed to shock her awake, plus he could no longer hold it in. He’d repeat it all later when she wasn’t concussed if he had to, but he’d almost lost her today, and he couldn’t go through that again without at least trying to tell her how he felt.

  “Jessica, I want to share my life with you. All of it. The good and bad. I promise I’ll take care of you, always.”

  “Wha … what did you say? Was it what I think you said?”

  “Oh, good. That got your attention.” He smiled, showing his dimples, but the worry didn’t leave his eyes.

  “Messing with me when I’m hurt. You’re bad,” Jessica said, now devoid of drowsiness. She tried to sit up a little, but a piercing pain shot through her head and stopped her cold. “Ooh.” She sank back down.

  “Careful,” he said tenderly, and waited for her pain to pass before he continued. “I was being a little dramatic because I need you to stay awake, but I meant every word I said and there are some things I want to tell you that I should have told you a long time ago.”

  “You can tell me anything.” She saw his jaw tense, and she thought he looked mad.

  “First, I’m so sorry. Sorry you got hurt today. Sorry for everything in the past. I was so stupid, and I let you down.”

  �
��Joe, no. Today wasn’t your fault, and, for that matter, neither was Argentina. We’ve talked about this, and I don’t want you to blame yourself.”

  “I hear you but please, just let me get this all out before you say anything. I want—no, I need you to understand just how much you mean to me.” He took a deep breath and the tension in his jaw was gone. “I have never felt about any woman the way I feel about you. Not even close. I tried. I swear I did. I dated some of the most beautiful, accomplished women—”

  “Uh, this isn’t making me feel better,”Jessica said half-jokingly before she saw the look in his eyes. She started to say something else but bit her lip instead.

  “The point is none of them could touch my heart, because it always belonged to you. I was drawn to you when you turned around from the cockpit and smiled at me. You became my best friend, and I quickly fell in love with you. My feelings have never faded. They still consume me.” He paused. “I should have fought for you, and I’ve never forgiven myself that I wasn’t there for you after Argentina. Then you were gone.” A look of sadness flashed across his face. “I wanted to chase you down. Max was gone. You were gone. I was heartbroken, and I missed you so much. But General Schilling told me you were pregnant and were getting married. I thought you’d be better off. So, I let you go.” He closed his eyes and shook his head. Jessica waited quietly. Joe opened his eyes and said, “But here we are, and I have another chance. Besides a deep friendship and always having fun together, we’ve always been able to count on each other, and …” His voice got husky. “We have intense chemistry.” He lowered himself down carefully. Their lips were almost touching as he spoke. “You’re so beautiful. You’re the sexiest woman I’ve ever known. I would do anything, absolutely anything, for your happiness.” He gave her a gentle kiss.

  The depth of Joe’s feelings blew Jessica away. She couldn’t stay quiet any longer. “I know it was crazy complicated, but … why didn’t you ever tell me how you felt?”

  “Because I thought I was being a good friend to you and to Max. You were with him, and I didn’t want to be that guy. The jerk who goes after his friend’s girl. I was terrified to lose your friendship, and I couldn’t risk screwing up the unit. We were doing a lot of good. If I could have figured out a way to bring us together, I would have. I was a young idiot who didn’t understand about true love and soul mates. Then everything got destroyed.” It seemed to be torturing him. He looked away.

  She reached up and touched his cheek. She gently turned his head to look at her. “It was an impossible situation. After Argentina, you had to follow deployment orders. I ran away and tried my best to forget everything. I’m sorry for that. You didn’t deserve it.”

  “You’re right. It was an impossible situation. None of us knew what to do. It was too much to handle.” Joe adjusted the ice on her head to keep it from sliding off. “Over the years, I kept tabs on you. I thought you were happy, so I stayed away.” His voice dropped half a level. “After you told me about the divorce, I thought there was maybe hope for us, but I tried to hold myself back until the time was right. I didn’t want to take advantage of your vulnerability, but I couldn’t, and still can’t, resist you. I don’t want to. Every time we touched or kissed, I could feel your reaction, so I have hope. I’m so in love with you.”

  He laughed, sounding a little nervous. “Wow, I can’t believe how mushy I sound. I don’t want to ruin my tough-guy image, but what the hell. It’s all true, and I can’t make the mistake of letting you slip away again. He shook his head. “Plus, if anyone tries to take my man card, I’ll just kill them.”

  Getting serious again, Joe said, “Look, I know I’m rambling and jumping all over the place. I’m not being as clear as I should be, so let me spell it out.” He took a deep breath. “I truly believe we belong together. I love you, Jessica, and I hope you love me. It will destroy me if you say you don’t, but at least I’ll know. So, what matters now is how you feel about me and whether you want to be with me.” Joe’s heart was pounding as he searched her eyes for her answer.

  “Oh, Joe. I don’t know why I didn’t realize it before, because I can see it so clearly now. I mean, we were best friends, and I loved you.” She paused and smiled. “I am in love with you. I think I always have been.”

  He let out a breath and seemed to relax. He leaned close and brushed her lips with his with one soft, lingering kiss.

  “If you think about it, when you joined Grey Winds I was dating Max. I did love him, but it was different. The three of us were always together because that’s the way I wanted it. In fact, I always made sure of it because you were the one who made me really happy.” She closed her eyes and smiled as some of the memories flashed through her mind. “I can admit it now. There were many times when we were close that I wanted to get closer.”

  “You did? You have no idea how much I wanted to do the same. Now we can.” Joe kissed her gently. “Or at least we can when you’re recovered.”

  “I’m sorry we lost so many years together, but I think things had to happen the way they did—or I wouldn’t have my kids.” She choked back her tears. She held up a finger. She had to take a break for a second. Her head was spinning. There was so much she wanted to say.

  “Here, take a sip of water.”

  She drank the water and forced herself to continue before she fell apart. “I love you with all of my heart, and more than you can imagine I want to be with you but … but I have responsibilities.”

  He shook his head and said reassuringly, “That’s okay. I–– ”

  She cut him off. “Please just let me say this, okay?”He nodded. “I have to stay in Orlando for at least two years until Bridgette is out of high school. The kids don’t even know about the divorce or Anderson’s girlfriend yet, and I don’t know how everything is going to work. I can’t predict what Anderson will do. I have to handle all of that first. I can’t add any more turmoil to my kids’ lives or put all that on you. I’m so sorry. It’s such a mess, so I am giving you a chance to back out of this.” Jessica felt a tear slide down her cheek. He tenderly wiped it away.

  “Oh, Jess. Don’t cry. We’ll work it all out. I’m in. I’m here for you. There’s nothing we can’t handle together. I know you have to deal with the divorce and need to think of your kids first. That’s another thing I love about you. You’re an incredible mom. I like the package deal and will support you in every way I can. I hope when the time is right, I can have a relationship with your kids. I already have them in my heart because they’re a part of you. Understand I don’t want a life or kids with anyone else. I want a life with you and all that entails.”

  It was true. She would always put her children’s welfare first. She knew she was strong and a good mom. She was realizing that to be the best mom it was important for her to be her best self and that meant being happy, having love, and challenging herself. And here was this amazing man willing to stand by her through everything.

  He brushed a strand of hair off her face. “I know we just started dating and haven’t ever been on a real date, so this would seem fast to someone who didn’t know everything we’ve been through together and how well we know each other. I know this for certain—and I want you to know where I’m coming from—I want to spend every day enjoying life, loving you, and making you happy. Don’t let anything stand in the way of us. Be with me.Even if we are long distance for a while.”

  A rush of heat flooded through Jessica. “My heart is already yours, and I want all the same things for us that you do. I trust we’ll figure everything out.” She smiled at him. Her fingers twirled the soft waves in his hair. “Say it again.”

  “It again.”

  “Joe.”

  “I love you, Jessica.”

  “I love you, Joe.”

  She felt overwhelmed with emotion. He lay next to her and held her tenderly. She insisted he fill her in on everything that happened. With a heavy heart, he confirmed what she had feared. Mark had died a hero. She was deeply saddened by hi
s death. She knew it wasn’t her fault, but she’d spend a lot of time replaying the whole event in her head, trying to determine if she could have done anything differently.

  Mark was an amazing guy, and they’d all miss him. Unfortunately, it was part of their world. They’d been through loss before. They knew how to grieve secretly and carry on. Though the sadness and the guilt would never go away, it eventually would get pushed deep down inside. Oh Mark, Jessica thought. I’m sorry we couldn’t keep you safe. Thank you for saving my boys … Joe … everyone.

  The sarin was now completely contained and locked away. Other than a concussion and a broken leg, Marshall was okay. Alejandro was with him at the hospital. Trevor and Chase had won their matches and were with their team. Exhausted from their big day, the girls were safely in their room watching a pay-per-view movie.

  “What about Anderson? I’m assuming he didn’t show since I didn’t hear anything.”

  “No. He didn’t. He sent you a text. Something about urgent business in South America and said to tell the boys he’d make it up to them.”

  “That’s sadly typical.”

  To explain Jessica’s absence and her injuries, Alejandro had phoned one of the wrestling coaches pretending to be a representative from Sunrise Hospital. He informed the coach that Jessica had been in a car accident. He reported she had a concussion but was in stable condition. He added she was recovering well but was being held overnight for observation. He emphasized the doctor’s orders for rest, which meant she was not allowed any visitors. The coach had assured Alejandro he’d make sure the boys were taken care of and one of the moms would keep an eye on the girls.

  “You know, Mark knew about us.”

  “What? Really?” Jessica was surprised.