The Lost Love: A Single Dad & Virgin Nanny Romance (The Hudson Brothers Series - Book 1)

by Emma Vikes

  She handed me the pregnancy tests and then I gave her the money. When she handed me my change, she said, “There’s a bathroom outside if you want to take it now or if you want to take it with him. For me, it’s always better if you’re a 100% sure of the result so you won’t be expectant with him.”

  I gave her a nod and smile as a thank you for the advice and rushed to the bathroom. I downed the bottled water and paced outside until I knew that I was about to pee. I went inside and peed on the sticks, setting my phone as a timer for five minutes. The five minutes felt like an eternity as I waited for the result.

  “It’s going to be okay, Megan. You’re not pregnant. Your body’s just adjusting to your sleeping schedule. You’re fine. You’re fine. There isn’t anything to be worried about.”

  And then the timer went off and in a haste, I grabbed the stick and it fell off my hand from my rush. “Shit. Calm down, Megan!”

  Slowly, I bent down and picked up the stick, turning it over to see the result.

  Two straight lines.

  Positive.

  Shit.

  Chapter 18

  Milo

  There was something bothering Megan and I didn’t know what it was. She was a lot quieter and kept to herself, only focusing her attention on Violet and answered me almost robotically. I wanted to ask her what was wrong but also didn’t want to step on any boundary line. After all, Megan and I remained unlabeled.

  Maybe that was what was bothering her.

  “Daddy!” Violet called me from her room. I adjusted my tie and grabbed my coat before rushing to her room. She was dressed in a lilac dress with floral patterns. Her hair was braided into a crown on top of her hair and she never looked more beautiful.

  “Wow,” I said, breathless at how she looked.

  Beside her, Megan smiled and my heart dropped at the sight. I hadn’t seen that smile for a while. But Megan wasn’t meant to be my focus right now because my daughter was in front of me. “Let me take a picture. C’mon.”

  Megan stood up from Vi’s bed and then handed me a small whiteboard that had 2nd grade written on it. “I’ll take a picture of both of you.”

  I let her and after the picture, the three of us headed downstairs to have breakfast. Megan seemed more of herself at the moment, talking and teasing Violet and as I watched the two of them, I couldn’t help but entertain the possibility of making this real, of having a family again. It wasn’t Rebecca crossing my mind. It was the idea of being a complete family, of Violet have a female role model to look up to.

  “Vi, here’s your lunch, okay? I’ve packed some snacks for you to eat during the free period too,” Megan was recounting everything to Violet and I watched the two of them interact. It was nice to see that Violet had someone who acted like a mom to her considering that all she had left were my idiot brothers and Rebecca’s family hadn’t really gotten down to visit her.

  We were taking two cars since I wanted to drop Violet off to school for her first day. She was so excited and it was ironic because the idea of going to a new school terrified her before we left Irving and now here she was, the first one to run into their classroom. Megan was standing beside me and I turned to look at her.

  “You’re going to stay here?”

  She shook her head. “I’ve talked to the salon. They said I could swing by and help for a couple of hours. I’ll be right back when school ends.”

  I nodded my head. “Okay, I’ll see you at home.”

  Megan didn’t say anything but simply nodded her head and got in the truck. I watched her turn to a corner and the truck completely disappeared. My heart contracted, a thought popping in my head. Megan hadn’t been the same since the night she told me that she was going to buy something from the drugstore. For some reason, Austin popped in my head too.

  No. No, she wouldn’t be dating him behind my back. But if she was, what right did I have to be mad?

  It was during lunch when Leo suddenly popped in the office. He’d been coming in and out of Chicago so many times that it honestly wasn’t surprising for him to drop by. For some reason, it felt like he was just living in the same city as I was.

  “Hey bro!” Leo greeted, a big smile on his face. He tossed me a bag of In-n-Out and grinned, “got ya some lunch.”

  The smell of burgers and fries filled my office. “Thanks. When did you arrive?”

  Leo sat across from me and pulled out another burger from the bag, unwrapping it. “Just this morning. I have a photoshoot here but I came by to see you because I wanted to run something with you.”

  My eyebrows furrowed because Leo actually looked nervous and I knew my brother. He was never one to be nervous. “What’s up?”

  Leo ran a hand through his unruly curls. “I was looking through Facebook the other day and then I saw all the cool photos that Rebecca took. I remembered you asked me what the latest camera was that year. See, I can actually buy my own but I thought that if you would like, I’d take that camera from your hands.”

  He let his words hang and I thought back to the camera that still held pictures of Rebecca and the guy she was in an affair with, proof of how she broke my heart. I remembered how Megan found it and how it was now stashed in my underwear drawer. But if Megan had found it, there was the possibility of Violet finding it too. I could always just delete the pictures but I didn’t really have the courage to open the camera and look through its content to know which pictures I had to delete.

  “We can pick it up at home right now if you want.”

  Leo was in the middle of chewing a bite and he paused and looked at, his grey eyes widening. I knew he must’ve thought I’d say no to him. “You’d actually give it to me?”

  I responded with a shrug. “Megan found it the other day.”

  My brother leaned closer. “What’d you do?”

  “I told her what happened with Rebecca,” I said quietly, examining the burger in my hand, “and I know that’s time to dispose of the camera. If Megan had found it, there’s a possibility that Violet could and I don’t want to ruin what she thought of her mother.”

  “Why don’t you just delete the pictures?”

  “Even seeing the camera breaks my heart.”

  Leo let out a small sigh and nodded his head. “Well, can you leave work now?”

  I nodded my head and we headed out of my office, both our burgers in our hands. We finished lunch in the car, on our way back home and Leo told me all about the photo shoot he was hired to do. He said that if it kept going on here in Chicago, he might move here too and I honestly would like that because that meant Violet had another family around and it wouldn’t be just us.

  “Megan’s not here?” Leo asked when we came in the house.

  “Do you see the truck parked outside?” I asked, jogging upstairs to my room and hearing Leo following me.

  “Shut up. She could’ve walked back here or something. She might want to save gas.”

  “Why are you looking for her?” I asked Leo as I opened my underwear drawer and grabbed the camera, tossing it at him. “I don’t know where the charger went.”

  Leo nodded and played with the camera in his hand, turning it over and over and sitting down on my bed. “So what’s going on between you and Megan?”

  Leo and I were always good at reading each other but still, I played dumb. “What do you mean?”

  He rolled his eyes and chucked a pillow in my direction. “You might not say it but I know something’s brewing between the two of you. What are you gonna do about it?”

  I scoffed and then tossed the pillow back in its place. To be honest, I’d entertained the idea of dating Megan a hundred times in my mind but at the end of it all, I always came down to the conclusion that falling for someone and loving them would eventually lead me back to heartbreak and that wasn’t something I was keen on heading back to.

  “Look, Leo, nothing’s going on between Megan and I other than the fact that I’m her boss and she’s my daughter’s nanny.” I emphasized on th
e word nanny because I wanted it to sink in for Leo.

  But my brother scoffed and waved off everything I just said. “You think I didn’t see you two looking at each other with heart eyes when we went camping? It was clear you were trying to control the urge to take her right there and then.”

  I knew my brother well enough to know that he wouldn’t stop asking me unless I gave him a proper answer and it didn’t matter whether it was the answer he wanted to hear or not, as long as it was executed seriously. “There’s nothing going on between Megan and I, Leo. And if there was, it won’t change the fact that I am still her boss and she is my daughter’s nanny.”

  Leo was silent after hearing what I had to say. “You say it as if she doesn’t mean anything to you.”

  I looked away, unable to look at Leo. It wasn’t that Megan didn’t mean anything to me. But I knew that acknowledging the fact that she meant something to me paved the way for my feelings and I wasn’t too keen on that part. “She’s Violet’s nanny and she takes care of my daughter when I’m not around. Of course, she means something.”

  “Just as a nanny?”

  Leo was really pushing for a better answer and I sighed, looked at my brother in the eye and said, “Yes, Leo. She’s just a nanny to me and no matter what happens between the two of us, she will always be just Violet’s nanny.”

  He whistled lowly but finally gave the subject a rest and just as the two of us went downstairs, I caught a flash of platinum blonde hair and the door closing loudly. Leo and I looked at each other and I remembered how Leo said that Megan might’ve walked back home. I rushed after her and saw her walking away from the house. “Megan!”

  But she didn’t turn around to I jogged after her and tapped her shoulder. She turned back and removed her earphones. “Hey!”

  “You went home?”

  She shrugged and then showed me a small bag. “Yea. I forgot to bring my kit. I just wanted to pop in and then pop out that’s why I didn’t call your attention.”

  I nodded my head and then she told me that she had to go, that the salon was waiting for her and I watched her walk away. When I turned back to the house, Leo was waiting for me on the front door and I told him exactly what Megan had said. He didn’t comment on anything and asked me if he could crash with us for the night and I told him that Violet would love the surprise.

  Leo stayed behind since he left most of his camera stuff at the studio for the photoshoot tomorrow and he had his clothes with him. I went back to work and went on with my day. There were moments I wondered if Megan overheard my conversation with Leo but if she just popped in the house to get her kit, then there was no way she could overhear a conversation from upstairs.

  Besides, Megan was the kind of person who didn’t let the things she didn’t like hearing and doing slide. She confronted me about our situation and although those were tricky waters, I like to think that we found a way to compromise. But when I got back home at 5 PM, Violet was sitting in a corner with Leo, their heads bowed together as they played operation. I could hear someone moving in the kitchen and knew that Megan was preparing dinner.

  I greeted Violet first, giving her a kiss on the forehead and nodding at Leo. I proceeded to the kitchen and watched Megan move around naturally in there. She knew the pantry like the back of her hand and I stayed rooted where I was, watching her move around and cooking dinner. When she turned around, she almost dropped the wooden bowl she was holding.

  “I didn’t see you there,” Megan said, setting the wooden bowl on the counter.

  I removed my suit jacket and placed it on the chair and then loosened my tie and undid my cuffs. “Need some help?”

  She smiled, thin-lipped, and shook her head. “No thanks. “

  “How was Vi’s first day?”

  Megan shrugged as she mashed the potatoes. “She had fun. I’m sure she’s more than happy to recount to you everything.”

  “How was your day at the salon?” I wasn’t sure what I wanted to accomplish by asking her questions. To be honest, I kept thinking about how I saw her earlier and the conversation I had with Leo, still wondering if she somehow overheard. But if Megan had, she showed no signs that she did.

  Megan paused at mashing the potatoes and it was clear that she was trying to contemplate on something but then, simply shrugged her delicate shoulders for the second time. “It was okay. I had fun. Dinner will be ready in half an hour.”

  She wasn’t in any mood to talk and I wasn’t stupid not to see that so I headed out of the kitchen and changed in my room, joining in on Leo and Violet until Megan called us for dinner. All throughout the dinner, Megan was quiet while Leo practically talked over anyone, filling the palpable silence. Violet asked Leo if he could help her with the Lego puzzle we bought the other day and he was more than happy to help her.

  “Want me to help with the dishes?” I asked, lingering in my seat as I watched Megan start washing the dishes.

  She turned back to look at me and shook her head. “I got it.”

  I sighed. There she was again with her curt responses that didn’t give any room for conversation. “What’s going on, Megan?”

  She left the faucet on for a moment, staring at the rushing water and then sighing, patting her hands on the apron and turning it off to look at me. “I’ve been thinking about how I could talk to you about this without causing any argument.”

  My eyebrows furrowed. Did she actually hear my conversation with Leo? Is this about ‘us’ again? “What’s up?”

  I wanted to sound nonchalant, determined not to let her see how panicked I actually felt right now. If this was about my conversation with Leo, I had some serious explaining to do and I wasn’t sure how I was meant to do so. But Megan exhaled loudly and crossed her arms, looking down for a moment and then looking up at me again.

  “When I was at the salon earlier, my sister called me. Something happened with my brother and them...” Megan looked like she was unable to finish her words but she took a deep breath and continued, “there’s been an emergency and they need me back in Irving, Milo.”

  I was prepared for an entirely different conversation so this basically took me by surprise. All I could do was stare at her, my eyebrows furrowing in confusion. “What do you...when are you...how long will you be gone?”

  Megan looked pained as she stared at me. “That’s the thing, Milo, I don’t think I can come back.”

  It was as if the world suddenly stopped spinning with what she just said. I stared at Megan and I couldn’t think of any words to say to her because I was completely taken aback of what she just said. “I...what...but Violet just started school, Megan.”

  She looked away, trying to shield her eyes but I could see how they glistened with tears. “I know, Milo, and I’m sorry for the terrible timing but my siblings...I’m all they got. I can’t....I can’t turn my back on them, Milo.”

  And I hated how I understood what she meant because I was in her position too. If any of my brothers needed me, I wouldn’t hesitate to drag Violet back to Irving. Just like how I would drop everything for my daughter, I would do the same thing for my brothers and as Megan stared back at me with a pained expression in her eyes, knowing that I was going to lose her in this moment.

  My heart broke in a million pieces.

  Chapter 19

  Megan

  “I thought it was your decision to come back home,” Morgan said, her voice floating in her tiny apartment that I had crashed in, “but you look like you would rather be anywhere else but here.”

  It had been almost two weeks since I left Chicago. It was the most painful goodbye I had to go through because of Violet. It broke my heart to hurt her in that way and no matter how much I tried to explain to her why I had to go, all she told me was that she thought I was never going away but I was, just like how her mother had left her, just like how Mrs. Barrymore didn’t come with them to Chicago.

  Never had I felt such heartbreak than I did when I told Violet I had to go.

&nb
sp; And then there was Milo...

  The way his gray eyes looked at me, pained and lost and the hesitation too clear that a part of me desperately wanted him to beg me to stay, to tell me what he felt for me, to tell me to stay because he loves me and not just because he wanted me. But that was wishful thinking and being in a committed relationship was the last thing on Milo’s mind. I guess that was why our setup worked for him. He had someone to screw, someone who held onto the idea that maybe someday he’ll realize that what we had was worth it and he would take the risk.

  But he watched me board the plane, waving a half-hearted goodbye.

  A part of me wished I told him about the human that was now growing in my stomach, the little human that was one-part me and one-part Milo. But I didn’t want his decision to be influenced because he knocked me up. More than anything, I wanted Milo to choose me because he didn’t just simply want me in a sexual way or needed me to give him a hand at life, I wanted him to choose me because he felt something for me, because he was choosing to love me.

  But then again, to him, I was nothing but Violet’s nanny.

  “You really need to stop spacing out, Meg,” Morgan said, sighing and shaking her head. She was already dressed for work. She worked as a teller in the bank and she’s been there for a year and a half and she still had student loans to pay which explains the small apartment that she was living in. “I have to go. When was your check-up with the obstetrician again?”

  “It’s at 11,” I replied timidly. I was still in my pajamas and the idea of having to shower wasn’t all too pleasing for me.

  Morgan was by the door and she sighed, looking at me with eyes filled with sympathy. “I wish you’d get out of that funk sooner. My older sister may be so annoyingly positive with everything most of the time, but I’d choose that one in a heartbeat compared to the one I’m stuck with now.”

  I flashed Morgan a small- but pained- smile. “Just let me be sad for a little while, Morgan.”