I released another flurry of magic, concealing myself in a blizzard of snowflakes that seemed to form Keane’s face in front of me, but when I reached out to touch it, it disappeared, and his rejection from the previous day wounded me all over again.
As I allowed the rest of the snowflakes to fall softly to the floor, I dragged in a calming breath and held it until my lungs felt like they might burst from the effort. Then I released a slow exhale and turned around to face my guard, who was watching me with a look of uncertainty on his face.
“I’m ready to go in now,” I said, my tone calm and measured like usual. He nodded hesitantly, probably wondering how he was so unlucky as to guard the future queen on a night when he couldn’t predict my behavior.
Tomorrow I would go on another one of these dates. Things clearly hadn’t worked out with Danzin, but perhaps my time with Lasloe would yield better results.
My shoulders slumped as I missed Keane again. No matter how I behaved, I never felt as if he didn’t understand me. I could truly be myself around him, and no one else in this castle—neither guard nor suitor—could have the same words applied to them. That, and he made me feel safe in a way that no one else ever did.
For the first time ever, I wished I would not be queen, so that I could be with him instead.
Twenty-One
Lily
The next morning, conversation flowed in our usual lively way around the small breakfast table, but there was a note of sadness in it as Rose announced it would be her last meal with us.
“I feel I should check in with our other sisters at Winton Castle,” she said. “And talk with Dahlia, too.”
I couldn’t disagree with her logic, but the selfish part of me wanted Rose to stay. I enjoyed her company and her presence was so valuable for helping to shape Iris’s emerging ability. I didn’t yet possess the skill to do that.
As if she could read my thoughts, Rose set a thick book on the table. “I’m leaving this here while I’m gone.”
“Mother’s spell book?” My eyebrows shot up, as Iris squealed her excitement. It looked old and well used, like it would have been more at home covered in dust and forgotten. Rose used to sneak off with it into the forest to teach herself magic, and I was surprised she would give it up.
“You need to keep practicing,” Rose said. “And she was your mother as much as mine.”
“I don’t know.” I glanced once more at the cover, part of me excited at the promise within, part of me repelled by how much damage I could do if I misused any of the runes. Father’s legacy of hating magic still lurked within me as much as it ruled over the entirety of Talador. Except Rose was right—I had the blood of Fellina in me too, a powerful wizard with the gift of prophecy. Wouldn’t she want me to embrace my magical heritage?
Rose wrapped an arm around my shoulders and drew me closer to her. “Do not be ashamed of who you are or of your legacy. It’s a gift, not a curse. Treat it as such.”
I nodded. Rose had a way of sounding so sure and sensible about the magic that I accepted my ability in her presence, only to worry about it again while I was alone.
“Father’s gone, you know. You have no reason to please him anymore.” She smoothed a hand over my hair before returning her attention to her breakfast plate and the fruit on it.
A bowl of apples stood in the middle of the table, their skins a most spectacular red color, and gleaming, but since Vasso’s poisoning, I couldn’t bring myself to try one. Neither could Rose it seemed, because she ignored them completely. Iris, however, took a huge bite, all noise and crunch.
“Can I look at the book?” She all but bounced up and down in her seat as she directed the question at Rose.
“That will be a question for Lily once I’m gone,” Rose answered, and I almost groaned. Of all the times for Rose to become a diplomat.
Rose leaned closer to me as she nudged the book toward Iris for her to flick through. “You need to master your ability because Iris will need guidance. She can’t do this alone. Don’t let her be like me. Who knows what trouble I would have gotten myself into if not for Raith’s teaching?”
I lifted an eyebrow. Rose’s ability far surpassed mine, and she certainly seemed to have a feline-like ability to land on her feet—even in a marriage to a man supposedly our enemy. “Yes, I’ll take Mother’s book, and I’ll do what I can with it.”
Rose rested her hand over mine, and I drew strength from her touch. “Good.”
“I’ll study it.” A small smile twisted my lips. “Studying is something I’ve always been good at, after all.”
“Oh, Lily.” Rose tutted her exasperation. “Magic isn’t supposed to be a chore. You’re allowed to take some enjoyment in it, you know.”
I helped myself to some more cut fruit, carefully picking around any apple. “You don’t need to worry, Rose. I’ve already made several decisions since I arrived here that I know you’ll approve of.”
“Oh? And do you plan to tell me any of them before I leave?”
Iris raised an eyebrow. “It’s not like you to make secret plans, Lily.”
I chose my words carefully. “They’re not exactly secret. I just haven’t voiced them before.”
“And what have you decided?” Rose asked as she sipped her tea.
“I’m going to change the rule about magic after my coronation and…” I glanced at Iris. “I’ll also send Iris to the wizard school in Korelan, if she wishes to attend it.” I addressed her directly. “I’ll miss you terribly, but it’s the best thing for you and—”
But Iris didn’t let me finish. She leapt from her chair and sent it tumbling to the stone floor, before throwing herself into my arms. “Yes!”
The noise brought Grimelda from the next room, her hand against the base of her neck. “Is everything all right in here?”
“Yes.” Only glee sounded in Iris’s tone “Lily is going to make magic legal and send me to school in Korelan!”
“Iris,” I said. “Some decorum, please. You can’t just announce potential changes to the laws of Talador.”
Grimelda laughed, the sound nothing more than a light tinkling sound. “Oh, all of your secrets are safe with me, Your Majesty.” She retreated to the doorway, a silent sentry mirroring Keane in his usual spot behind me.
Iris clasped her hands to her chest. “I’m just so happy.”
I didn’t have time to caution her about royal secrets again before Rose stood, her moments slow and regretful. “It’s time for me to leave.” She held out her arms, and Iris and I walked into them. “Goodbye my sisters.”
I pressed a palm to her stomach. “Take good care.”
“I will.” She smiled and drew her cloak on, then took two steps back. She lifted her hand in a wave before shadows closed around her and she was gone.
I sighed and draped an arm over Iris’s shoulders. “She’ll be back soon,” I said, although I was talking more to myself than to Iris.
“I know.” My youngest sister grabbed the spell book and ran out of the room without another word, and I could only shake my head at her enthusiasm.
“Your Majesty.” Grimelda stepped forward and I turned to her.
A smile lit her face as she looked briefly at the spot where Rose had teleported from. “I wish to remind you that you have another evening planned with a suitor later. Would you like a meal in the same place as yesterday evening?”
I groaned a little but nodded. “Thank you, Grimelda. That will be fine.”
She smiled again and bobbed a slight curtsey, and I almost heard her joints creak with the effort. “If you have any special requests, let me know.”
As she left the room, I turned toward Keane. “I do have one special request.” I kept my voice low but he heard me and met my gaze, his blue eyes steady. “Would you accompany me this evening, as my guard?”
“I can’t.” Pain flashed through his eyes before he looked away, and my chest tightened at his rejection. I’d missed him last night, but I understood why he wanted
to stay away. This must be as hard for him as it was for me.
Twenty-Two
Lily
I stood before the table again, and it was like a terrible trick, as if I was reliving the previous twenty-four hours with the same merry fire crackling its pleasure over the logs and a small candle flame to provide the romance. Except tonight Lasloe stood in front of me.
“Princess Lily,” he said in greeting, and bowed formally over my hand. I tensed a little as his lips grazed my skin. He straightened before waiting for me to sit so he could present my cloth napkin to me.
“Are you my suitor or my butler?” I meant it as a joke, but I nearly choked over the word suitor.
He laughed anyway as he sat in his seat and shook his napkin, the small breeze he created putting out the small candle between us. I breathed a sigh of relief. Perhaps I could relax now that the romantic candlelit dinner was no longer candlelit.
“Are you well this evening?” Lasloe seemed genuinely interested my reply, and his ready smile made his eyes sparkle as he watched me.
I waited a moment before replying. He had to know the very fact he was here meant he had a good chance of being the next king. This whole process still felt so mercenary and also sterile, like I was simply shopping for a husband who wouldn’t have the power to refuse me if he even wanted to.
“That’s a very long pause.” Lasloe twisted his wine glass in place. “Is there much to consider?”
I laughed, the sound tense and fake. “I have a lot on my mind these days.”
He tilted his head as he watched me, then lifted his glass slowly to his lips like he was considering his own response now. He was a man I could undoubtedly be friends with—I didn’t feel uneasy around him—but as I watched his fingers and hands, I didn’t know if I could imagine them on my skin, or his lips on mine. There was only one man whose touch I craved, and he wasn’t here.
“You don’t really want to be here, do you?” Lasloe asked.
I froze at his perceptive question, both caught out and surprised by that fact. So far, none of my suitors had questioned what I wanted. In fact, none of them had even asked my preferences. Perhaps they each believed I wanted them, their egos too big to consider any alternative. Only I didn’t want any of them. I wanted the one man I couldn’t have, naturally.
A breeze blew strands of my hair across my face, and I smoothed them away with my fingers as I thought about Keane. He was the only man I wanted by my side…but could I marry the Captain of the Guard? I didn’t know how that would be received by my family, never mind my kingdom. As a queen, I had to consider what was best for my people over what was best for me. More importantly, what would Keane want? He was a proud man, and he took his responsibilities to the kingdom and crown very seriously. Perhaps he’d only been acting out of duty all this time, even though I thought I detected love when I looked into his eyes.
Lasloe leaned forward. “What’s making you unhappy?”
I sighed, trying to think up the perfect lie I could use to conceal the real reason. I couldn’t confess to one of my suitors that I didn’t want to marry them, that I’d wasted all of their time by even summoning them to meet me.
“Come now,” he said. “It really can’t be that bad.”
I glanced at the crackling fire before deciding I couldn’t handle another evening like this one. “I’m…I’m not sure I want to marry any of the suitors who have been brought here to meet me.”
Lasloe sat back in his chair. “Thank the Sun and Moon for that,” he exclaimed. “I was getting worried I’d need to turn down the future Queen of Talador and have her banish me from my homeland.” He wiped his brow theatrically.
My confusion emerged, as did startled laughter. “What do you mean, turn me down?”
He spread his arms and looked around. “I made it to the last two, didn’t I? And as a nobleman from Talador, I figured if you were looking for a safe choice that wouldn’t cause any undue insult to one of the kingdoms outside of our own, I might top your list. Am I wrong?”
My fingers kneaded my napkin. “No. Apparently, you’re just very perceptive.”
“And wounded.” He winced and placed a hand over his heart. “To only be wanted because I’m already from Talador.”
I pulled my cloak closer around me as the wind picked up and the fire flickered. “It wasn’t only because of that. You’re easy to talk to and always rather joyful.”
He held up a hand. “Stop. I don’t want to hear you talking yourself into proposing to me after all.”
I raised an eyebrow. “Wouldn’t you want that? Why else would you be here?”
He shook his head and lowered his voice. “While we’re exchanging confidences, I should probably mention I actually have no interest in women and much prefer men. My parents pushed me to come because they’ve stumbled on some hard times financially.”
My shock made my mouth fall open, but I quickly regained my composure. “You would marry me for money, even knowing it would never be a love match?”
“I would marry you to help my family, and hope you’d understand enough to allow me some…dalliances. We would hardly be the only nobles with such an arrangement.” He waved a hand dismissively. “But I’ve already said I would have turned you down. I’ve had my eye on another, and I could tell you’d be miserable with such a marriage.”
He truly was perceptive, but then again, so was I. I remembered all the times I’d watched Lasloe take pleasure in watching Gusten blush. “You know, you should speak to Lord Gusten and see if he shares your preferences.”
“You think so?” He smiled and leaned forward, but his eyes had a nervous look in them.
“Yes. Your future queen gives you her blessing.”
A radiant smile lit up his handsome face. He opened his mouth to say something else, but then a sound caught our attention, a rustling in the brush, and whatever he’d been about to say was lost in the sudden chaos.
Shadowed figures suddenly closed in around us, from all directions. The same ones who came after me in the forest. They looked like men but were made of magic, and I sprang up from my chair, while Lasloe did the same with a yelp. My guard was beside me in an instant, his left hand gripping my upper arm as he held his sword in front of us. But the magical bandits didn’t attack.
Lord Malren stepped out from the middle of the shadows and performed the same elaborate bow he had given me in my bedroom. “Princess Lily, we meet again.”
“Imagine that.” Irritation quashed my fear.
“I believe you’ve met my loyal soldiers before?” He indicated the shadows around him, and some of them solidified into real men.
I backed up a little, my breath coming in spurts. “What are you doing here?”
Malren stepped closer, his boot crunching on a patch of frost. “I’ll give you a clue. I’m auditioning for the role of future King of Talador. Although I’m rather disappointed I wasn’t invited to be one of your suitors.” He picked up a pink rose that sat on the table and took a sniff, then threw it on the ground. “No matter. You turned down my offer before, but I’ll be King soon enough on the arm of the true Queen.”
“What are you talking about?” Lasloe asked.
Malren ignored Lasloe and snapped his fingers. “Disarm the guard and bring Lily to me.”
I raised my hand to conjure a frost rune, but the soldiers swarmed me too quickly, grabbing my wrists and yanking them down. At the same time, other soldiers took down my guard and Lasloe, and I noticed these men were real, wearing Malren’s colors. I tried to conjure the runes in my mind, desperate to get away, but then Malren slapped me across the face with the back of his hand, and all I could see was stars.
As my vision came back, my head spinning, I found I was being dragged away through the brush by strong hands. “Keane!” I yelled, though I had no clue where he was. Why hadn’t he been by my side, where he always belonged?
We entered a clearing, and there were more of Malren’s soldiers here. He paused to speak to so
me of them, sending them back the way we’d come, before turning to the shadow attackers to give them orders too.
“What do you think you’re doing?” I asked him.
He beheld me with a sneer. “Do you like my new soldiers?”
“You’re not capable of illusions like that,” I spat as I continued to struggle against the two men holding me, making it as difficult as possible for them to tie my hands behind my back with a piece of rope.
“You wound me.” He clutched his hands over his heart. “But alas, you are also correct. No, I cannot conjure illusions like these. But my friend Queen Riala can.”
I gasped as he spoke the name. Could it be true? Had Riala really returned? “What is she offering you?”
“Once she regains the throne that rightfully belongs to her, she’ll make me King.”
I closed my eyes as my stomach sank with dread and horror. “I should have known it was that. But surely you’re no one’s little lapdog?”
“Oh, Lily. As cold as ice but full of fire.” He stepped forward and ran a lock of my hair through his fingers. “If you wish to skip the courtship game and take me as your husband, I could be persuaded to end all this now.”
“Never.” I attempted to draw myself up to my full height as I spoke, but one of the men holding me yanked on my arm, and I groaned instead.
Malren laughed, the sound both refined and ugly, and it grated across my skin. “As I suspected. No matter. The throne will be mine soon enough.”
Twenty-Three
Keane
I raced toward the spot where Lily should be having her meal with Lasloe, my sword already drawn. Danzin had allegedly been searching for plants in the garden, although it was more likely he’d been lurking and spying a little on their date, and he’d raised the alarm of an attack.
Fear raced through me, along with shame and regret. Lily had wanted me there with her tonight, guarding her, and I’d said no out of petulant jealousy. I’d refused her because I couldn’t bear to see the woman I loved being courted by other men. It was official—my feelings for Lily had put her in danger. I was no longer capable of doing my job.
Kiss Of Snow (Royal Hearts Book 2) Page 11
