He disappears from the bedroom. “I need to take a shower, I have to get Cashel’s blood off of me.”
“I’m sorry about earlier,” Roselyn says, standing on her tippy toes, kissing me. She examines my swollen eye. “You need to put something on it.”
“Join me in the shower?” I ask.
A few soldiers’ hurry into the bedroom and grab the dead body, taking it out of the room.
“Okay,” She follows me to the bathroom. Once we’re in the shower, I look down at Roselyn and realization hits me like a ton of bricks. I need to break up with her. I don’t need to keep a woman who doesn’t want to be married. If I hold on to her like I did with Shelby then she will eventually hate me so it’s best to break things off now before I hurt her even more.
Devious
CASHEL HAS BEEN DEAD FOR two weeks and The pain of his death will never go away, but I had to do what I had to do to set an example to my mafia on what happens if someone betrays me. I sit in my executive chair, glancing out the window watching a blue bird dances on a branch. I need to let go of Roselyn. She doesn’t want to be tied down to me, and I won’t keep her if she doesn’t want it. I did the same thing with Shelby. Tried to keep her and I ended up suffocating her and drove her into the arms of another man. And, I don’t want the same outcome for me and Roselyn. I want her to pick me because she wants to and not because I’m forcing her. She’s out shopping with Marla for fall clothes so I shoot her a text message.
Me: Come home. We need to talk.
Nymph: Is everything okay?
I get up from the chair and pace the floor. How am I going to break things off with her? I know I’m going to hurt her, but it’s the only thing that will make things better for the both of us. I already have the divorce papers burning a hole into my desk. My lawyer sent them early this morning and I’ve read them at least thirty times. After I found out she went behind my back and tried to book a flight. I had already thought about divorcing her and when she acted so happy she wasn’t pregnant with my child it was the icing on the cake for me to not be with her. We want different things in life, and I don’t want to hold her back. I love her too much. Thrusting my fingers through my hair, I sigh loudly. Twenty minutes later, she strolls through the study, wearing a black legging and light sweatshirt. New York hits the time of year, where the weather is cool. My eyes wander to her face, as I try to remember every freckle.
She stands on her tippy toes, kissing my cheek. “What’s up?” She sits her giant bags on the floor. “What is it you want to talk about?”
I stroke her cheek with my index finger, shaking my head. Letting go is the hardest thing I have to do but it needs to be done. “I’m setting you free from our marriage.”
“What?” Her voice is shaky as she cocks her arch eyebrow. “What do you mean, Devious?” Then she studies my face for answers.
Exhaling, I say, “I’m giving you your freedom. You paid Lex’s debt off and it’s time for you to be free.”
My pulse thumps loud in my neck and blood rushes to my ears.
“But, I want to be with you,” she says, her eyes brim with tears. I might as well have punched her in the face, that’s how much pain registers on her face.
“I made the same mistake with Shelby, forcing her to stay with me and it didn’t turn out well. And if I do the same thing to you, then you will eventually want to leave.”
“If you’re mad because I almost betrayed you, then I’m sorry. I had a moment of weakness.”
“When you didn’t want my child, it’s when I realized we’re not meant to be together. You want freedom and I want an heir, which is one of the reasons why I took you on as a wife. Do you want to stay and get pregnant by me and later on and hate me because I forced you to? I love you, Roselyn. But I can’t hold on to someone who doesn’t want to be.”
I reach over to the desk, giving her a stack of divorce papers.
“I’m not going to leave you broke. I’m giving you five thousand dollars a week for the rest of your life and I’ll still cover your Nonno’s medical bills and expenses until he passes away.”
“No, Devious. Please don’t do this.” Tears run down her cheeks and my eyes water, and I wipe them away.
“You need to live your life the way you want to and not tied down to someone like me. I can’t give you what you want.”
“You’re what I want. I don’t care about my freedom; I don’t care about my dreams. All I want is you.”
We’re silent for a while and she stares at me with fear in her eyes.
“You’re a bird who wants to spread your wings and fly and I’m the monster who wants to rip your wings so you can’t fly.”
She wraps her arms around my shoulders, and I accept her embrace, resting my chin on top of her head.
“I want the good and the ugly of you Devious. I don’t want you to change. I know what kind of man you are and I’m okay with it. Please, don’t break my heart.” I shed one single tear and it fell down on her hair.
Her tears wet my shirt and we stand like this for what seems like forever. Closing my eyes, I inhale deeply. She smells like brown sugar and cherries. My favorite smell. She breaks from our embrace.
“Be free Roselyn. Do what you love. And if you don’t fall in love with anyone else, you can come back to me,” I tell her. She stares at the divorce papers and I kiss her forehead. “I used to say love is the final form of forgiveness but it’s not. Letting go of the person you love, to give them what they want is love. Holding onto you is not love.” I lean down, kiss her long and hard, then I pull away. “Goodbye, Roselyn.”
Roselyn
I stand there in shock, tears falling down my cheeks. Devious leaves me alone with the divorce papers. I grab the divorce papers and run my finger on the cool paper as my tears dampen the black ink of his name. This is not fair. Life’s not fair. He wants to let me go, but I don’t want to be free from his cage. I want to be his little bird. Grabbing my phone from my pocket, I dial Marla’s phone number and she picks it up in the third ring. She’s the only friend I can call on and I know she’s Devious cousin, but I need someone to talk to. She doesn’t owe me any loyalty.
“Hello?”
“Can you come pick me up?” My voice breaks. “I need a place to stay.”
“What do you mean?” I hear her turn down the music in the background.
I try to find the words to articulate what I’m trying to say but my mind draws a blank. “Please. Come get me.”
I tap the red button and rush to our bedroom. I go to the walk-in closet and toss clothes onto the suitcase. I can’t believe Devious would do this to me—to us. After everything we shared. After everything we have been through. Our relationship was toxic, but there was still love. My chest aches as my hands tremble like leaves on a tree.
An hour later, Marla strolls into the bedroom and she gives me a hug.
“What happened?” She wraps her arms around my waist, using her thumb to wipe away my tears.
“Devious broke up with me. He wanted to make sure I want to be with him.”
“I’m sorry, Roselyn. I think he’s scared you’re going to end up hating him for trying to keep you with him.”
“I wouldn’t do that,” I say, using the back of my hand to wipe my tears. I fell in love with the devil. It doesn’t matter to me who he was because I saw the real him. Not the just evil side, but the good side.
“I need a place to stay. Can I crash at yours until I find mine my own place?”
“Of course.”
I drag my suitcase behind me and we make it to the living room. Devious paces back and forth with one hand rubbing his forehead and the other holding his cellphone. His eyes meet mines, and we stare at each other, with unspoken words between us. I try to study every inch of his face. Remembering who I fell in love with. Sorrow laces his face as he frowns, and Marla says something to him in Italian and he responds back.
“I’ll be in the car,” I tell her as I go to the garage, then I dump my
suitcases into her black Mercedes. As I climb into the seat, I strap my seatbelt over my body. Exhaling, I allow my tears flow down my cheek freely. Twenty minutes later, Marla gets into the drivers and puts the car in gear, driving off into traffic. Rain sprinkles on the windshield.
“You know what we need to do?” She clicks her blinker, getting into a turning lane.
“What?” I ask, not taking my eyes off the road.
“We should travel the world together.”
“Why out of the blue you want to travel?”
“I think since you’re divorcing Devious, then it would be a good idea to follow up on your dreams.” She taps her black paint nails on the steering wheel. “Plus, Devious encouraged me to convince you to do it. He wants you to be happy.”
I don’t want to follow up on my dreams because I don’t want it without him. If I had known love would be like this, I would have avoided it all, but then again how can a person not fall in love with Devious?
“Where would we start?” I ask her.
“We’ll start in Frankfurt, Germany. Wait. What about your boyfriend and Mr. Pot?”
“We’ll go for three months and then we come home. My cat can stay with my boyfriend.” She taps her thumb on the steering wheel. “It will be so much fun and I can take my mind off the wedding shit.” Her small diamond ring glint from the sunlight. He proposed to her two weeks ago. “Do this one thing for us, before I’m tied down.”
I nod. “Okay.”
Devious
One Month Later…
I HAVEN’T HEARD FROM ROSELYN since she went off to Europe after we broke up. She still hasn’t signed the divorce papers and I’m in no rush to sign them either. After a long day of torching one of my clients to collect a debt, I remove my tie, lie it on the doorknob and sit in the lounge chair in my bedroom. One of my maids, bring me a glass of bourbon. I’ve been obsessed with Roselyn until the point where I made an Instagram to follow her. Marla informs me of her whereabouts and checks in to let me know if they are safe. I spend most of the time worried about them, so I try to keep my mind occupied by reading the latest psychological thrillers and watching a crime show. The pain hasn’t gone away from leaving Roselyn. I think about her all the time and I don’t want to let go. It doesn’t help I still have some of her stuff here. I upload pictures of us at our wedding and when we were in Santorini. I upload a picture of me grabbing her ass, with the caption mine a while ago. I’m not taking them down until I know for certain she moved on.
Roselyn likes all my pictures on my Instagram but hasn’t said anything. I miss her like crazy and this is the only way I feel connected to her. My phone dings with a message from Roselyn.
Nymph: Send me a dick pic.
I stare at the message cocking an eyebrow. I miss her sassy mouth. I ask Marla does Roselyn try to date other guys and she told me she won’t even look in another man’s direction and she still wears her wedding rings.
Me: You want a picture of my dick?
Not exactly what I thought she would say, but I’ll take it. I’m at a point if she wants to use me for sex, I will let her, because any I’ll have any piece of her.
Nymph: Yea, I miss it and you.
Me: You’re drunk.
Roselyn gets horny as fuck when she’s drunk.
Nymph: No, high. Marla gave me some edibles. We’re in Holland. Do you miss me? Do you still love me?
Me: Yeah and I still love you. Why haven’t you signed the divorced papers?
Nymph: You know why.
Me: You’re happy without me.
Nymph: Most days, I cry because we’re not together.
Her words make me feel like shit as if I failed her.
I don’t respond and set the phone on the nightstand, then lie on the bed. I miss holding her at night, especially after a long day at work. Something I looked forward to touching her and I don’t mean in a sexual way, but I need comfort. The pain from our breakup hits harder than I thought.
My phone dings with a message and I pick it up. Aiden sent me a text.
Aiden: Open up, I’m freezing my dick off.
I jump out of the bed and head to the foyer. As I open the door, the cold air hits me like a ton of bricks. Aiden walks in with a cigarette in his mouth and I follow him to the living room.
“Why the fuck are you here this late at night?” I ask, tucking my hands into my pocket. I’m not in the mood to talk and if it’s not important then I’m telling him to get out.
“While you were moping about your wife, I finally was able to get through to Maya and she told me Celeste might not attack because him and his brothers didn’t get along. They exiled him from the Mafia.”
“What do you mean exile?”
“She wouldn’t tell me what he did, but she says he’s most likely not going to strike because he was waiting for Cashel to be killed so he can be the Don.”
I don’t know much about his brother because they didn’t share the same mother. As far as I know, Celeste’s mother was a coke head and his father’s mistress.
I nod and lie on the couch. He needs to leave so I can start my nightly stalk on Roselyn.
“Are you going to continue to keep Maya as your pet?”
“Honestly, I don’t know.”
“Don’t get her pregnant. We will not mix our blood with theirs. I don’t care if Cashel is dead.”
I mean every word. I don’t want my enemies’ blood with my own.
“You really are sulking like a bitch over a woman you let go. You know what you should do?”
“No and at this moment I don’t give a fuck about what you think,” I snap.
It’s wrong to take my angry out on him, but I’m hurting right now.
“Go after her and ask for a second chance. I’m pretty sure she loves your fucked-up ass. I don’t know why.” He rolls his eyes. “I’ve never seen you as happy as you were with her. You weren’t as happy when you were with Shelby.”
“It’s more complicated than it seems, Aiden,” I exhale. “I treated her like shit for most of our relationship. She deserves someone better than me and she needs to live her life. She is young and needs to see the world. If I hold on to her like I did Shelby and she’s going to hate me.”
“Roselyn is not Shelby. You’re making a big mistake,” he tells me. “You should tell her to come so you can talk.”
“Since when have you been pro relationship?” I cock my head to the side.
“I’m tired of your fucking moping. Get your head out of your ass and stop being stubborn.”
I don’t respond because she’s all I can think about. It pains me I’m not with her, but I don’t want our relationship to be toxic anymore. I’m sticking to the plan and keep waiting for her to come if she doesn’t come home to me then I’ll move on. It won’t be easy because I have a hard time letting go of shit, but I’ll be fine.
Roselyn
One Month Later
THE PLANET EARTH IS BEAUTIFUL. After leaving New York City, I’ve been all over Europe. Traveling is fun and exhausting at the same time. We’re in London in a hotel and I upload a picture of me lying in bed with the caption missing him and home. Devious hearts the picture. He hearts every picture I upload, and he’ll comment on how beautiful I look, but he won’t send me a message. He only responded to messages if I initiate it. Nausea settles in my stomach as homesickness takes over me.
I officially turned into a social media stalker, because I like every post and watch every story. Five minutes ago, he posted a picture of a psychological thriller book and I double tap the heart button, then he likes my picture and puts heart emojis in the comments. Aiden comments on how sexy I am in my photo and Devious comments under his with a knife emojis then Aiden comments with laughing emojis.
Marla told me he only got an Instagram because of me and he’s not big on social media. She calls him every week to check in to let him know we’re safe.
She waltzes in with a thin white towel wrapped around her head. She hops on th
e firm bed, next to me.
“Tomorrow, we’re going on a tour around London and shopping for new clothes,” she says, removing the towel, tossing it onto the floor tugging her hair into a ponytail.
“Can we go home tomorrow?” I exhale, placing my phone on the table.
“Why?” She tilts her to the side.
“I miss Devious.”
“It’s about time you came to your senses,” she smirks. “I knew you were lying when you said you don’t miss him.”
“I didn’t want to be a party pooper.” I shrug. “I’m sorry I cut our trip short.”
We were supposed to spend an extra month traveling to South Africa, but I can’t bear the pain from being away from Devious. It’s too much. I did what he said, I traveled, and I loved it, but it’s not the same without Devious. This is shit I want to do with him
“It’s okay. You need to go home and be with him.” She gets up from the bed and hugs me.
I go on my computer and buy a one-way ticket to New York City then we pack up our stuff and head to the airport. We have an eight-hour flight ahead of us and I know I’m not going to sleep, because I’m anxious as fuck.
After our flight, we take Uber to Marla’s condo, and I bite my nails. Once we park at the curb of the street, she gets out and I help her with her bags, then I tell her I’ll call her later. To be honest, she’s become my best friend over time. Even if Devious moves on and finds someone else, I will continue our friendship. The thought of Devious moving on makes my gut hit the floor.
Three hours later, Butterflies dance in my stomach as the Uber pulls up to the manor. It still looks the same, but pumpkins ranging from white to orange sit around the door. Fall is approaching fast, and lanterns shaped like rocks decorate the staircase. My heart flutters in my chest as I tell the driver thanks and throw money at him, then I grab my bags.
I don’t knock on the door, instead I type in the code and the door clicks open. This is my home. This will be home as long as Devious lives here. As I walk in, it’s pitch black and means Devious is not home. It irks him if we leave the lights on when we’re not home. It’s the small things I miss about him. I miss him, placing a napkin over my lap and cutting up my steak and opening up my water bottle before giving it to me. He always took care of me in small ways.
Devious: A Dark Mafia Arranged Romance (A Villain Collection Book 1) Page 15
