You Got This!

by Maya S Penn

  Let’s try an analogy: Say you and your friend both head to the nursery. You each buy a terra-cotta flowerpot with a mystery plant buried inside. You take your pot home. You water it diligently. You make sure it’s getting enough sunlight. And then one day, a tiny sprout pops up from beneath the soil. Sure, it’s not much more than a tiny, little green leaf, but you’re so excited by this development that you enroll your bud in a flower show. Disappointingly (but perhaps not surprisingly), you lose. Meanwhile, your friend continues watering and feeding her plant, until it eventually explodes into a beautiful blossom. When she enters the flower show (months after your failure), she wins.

  Why did your friend succeed but you failed? Simple: because she didn’t rush her flower. You don’t want to rush your Big Idea, either.

  Every now and then I’ll (temporarily) set a project aside when I realize that my idea needs to be fleshed out a little more before it makes sense to get started. If you find that happens to you often—if your ideas frequently fall apart before you can get them off the ground—it may be a sign that you’re running too fast. Speeding through life can be just as destructive as restricting your creativity by never taking risks. Some ideas take time to blossom.

  Have Faith

  What about when things feel totally overwhelming, when you’d rather hide under your bedsheets than come out and face your problems? Well, that’s the point at which many of us, myself included, may try to turn to a higher power, something outside themselves. For me, that’s my faith.

  Everyone has his or her own interpretation of what faith means. Me, I consider God to be like that one best friend who always has more sense than I do. Of course, the general assumption is that he’s some big dude who’s hanging out in some sort of celestial plane somewhere in the universe (that’s Maya-speak for heaven), away from all the ridonkculousness of Earth as we know it, but I think the closer you consider him to be with you, the closer he actually is. I believe that he always has time to come down from his celestial plane somewhere in the universe and hang out for a little bit. He’s always there to listen if you just call on him, and he’s there to help you through any situation you may be facing, which is what any best friend would do.

  Those times when I feel really alone and uninspired, when I’m unsure what to do next? I try to listen to myself and my faith, rather than impose the answer that I think is right (or that should be right) onto a situation. Maybe if I’m having a bad day or something has gone wrong, and I might be wondering, God, where are you? I realize that I have to really seek him out and talk to him and reel myself back in from all of those negative emotions and take quiet time to make a connection with him again. It works for me. Maybe something different will work for you.

  Deflecting Overeager Helpers and Friends

  Once your great ideas start to percolate, and once other people begin to see what you’re up to, you’re probably going to receive a lot of (unsolicited) opinions about the work you’re producing. Those ideas can be truly, amazingly helpful. They almost always come from a well-meaning place. And, sure, it’s generally a good idea to listen to the members of your support network. They only want to help you succeed, right? Especially when they’re telling you how great your idea is . . . except for this one tiny thing.

  Part of being a creator is having the courage of your own convictions. And as much as you probably love and admire and respect your friends, family, and mentors, it is possible to give their ideas too much credence. For example, maybe your friend has a wonderful suggestion, but it would change the core of your idea so fundamentally that it wouldn’t feel like yours anymore. That’s no good.

  Being true to your creative ideas means that you’ll occasionally have to say no to people—even to close family and friends—in order to do things your way. This is never easy, but it’s imperative for you to speak up. Your support network is there to support your vision, not to create its own vision for you. Even those closest to you can (accidentally and unintentionally) undermine your work.

  Let’s Talk about Haters

  A year or so ago, I was perusing the online comments below an article that had been written about me in the paper. Most of them were really supportive and sweet, but one person unleashed a little ball of white-hot hate. She (or he—I have no idea who this person is) said there was no way I’d accomplished any of the things mentioned in the article, that it was much more likely that my parents were the ones behind my business.

  Now, I didn’t bother replying to that person, since that would have been a complete and total waste of my time. And yet I was still irritated. This person didn’t know my whole story. He or she didn’t know how I got started or where my passions came from. The commenter didn’t even know who I really was. So for that person to immediately think, Oh, she didn’t do any of that, because she’s only such-and-such age, well, I’ll be honest, it really, really hurt my feelings. I mean, what could be the motive for such negativity? It’s not like I’m tossing abandoned kittens into active volcanoes—I run an eco-friendly clothing business.

  It’s incredibly frustrating when you try to do or say something uplifting and positive and immediately get ridiculed and shot down. Perhaps, though it sounds clichéd to say so, this kind of hatred comes from jealousy. (You might have something haters consider “better,” and they take out their frustrations about that by blasting you.) Perhaps they feel threatened by you, for any number of ridiculous reasons. (Maybe they’re worried that your success will overshadow them, so they unleash a ninja attack of hatred to weaken you.) In rare cases, people may just not be well educated about the work that you do and therefore not fully understand it. And, unfortunately, some people just spread hate for the lulz.

  Truthfully, you may never understand what drives someone out there to put down you and your work. But one thing’s for certain: negative comments can seriously derail your forward progress. That’s probably why my friend-tor Alexis Ohanian says, “Eat your haters for breakfast, like waffles.” I’d like to co-sign that.

  HATERS, HATERS, GO AWAY

  You want to know the easiest way to overcome your haters? The secret to maximum hate deflection? Okay, get ready. This is really big. Seriously, this is some top-secret, high-level information. The secret is . . . to ignore them.

  I know, I know. I can practically hear your confused and disappointed groans from here. The old just-ignore-them routine isn’t exactly new advice, and I know that diffusing negativity isn’t always as easy as that. Humans, after all, aren’t heartless robots. Whether we like it or not, all of us are emotionally affected by hurtful, inflammatory remarks. Fortunately, I’ve got ten helpful tips to help you strengthen your hater shield:

  1. Realize that haters want your attention. People make mean and negative comments to get a rise out of their target; realizing this is half the battle. It’s a little clichéd, but it’s still true: ignoring your detractors is a surefire way to drain them of their hater power. Ignore them, and watch as they vaporize into wisps of grumpiness.

  2. If you’ve got a Block button, use it. Most social media websites feature a Block or Ignore button to keep certain people from commenting, reposting, liking, or tagging your stuff; you can often prevent them from viewing your profile altogether. No need for witty comebacks or snarky private messages before you block these folks, either. With a single mouse click, you can send those haters on their hateful way.

  3. Don’t let one rude comment drown out the voices of those who support you. Have you ever noticed that negative comments seem to affect you more than positive ones? A long, thoughtful message about how much someone loves your work can seem like nothing in the face of one short, ugly comment. Remind yourself: the negative remarks are not more important than the positive ones. Besides, I’d be willing to bet that over the course of six months, you’ve had ten times more good feedback than bad. When negative comments echo in your brain, try to remember some of the encouraging, helpful, and positive reactions you’ve heard.

  4.
Haters deal in opinion, not fact. Just because someone says your art sucks doesn’t mean it actually does. Some persistent haters might even try to “prove” how untalented you are by listing a series of “reasons” why your project or talent or Big Idea isn’t great. Those aren’t facts, either. Haters don’t have the final say on what is and is not valuable or good.

  5. It’s their problem. If someone dislikes the work you’re doing, it’s their problem, not yours. It’ll only become a problem for you if you choose to make it one.

  6. You’re not the only one with haters. When you receive a negative or nasty comment, don’t bother taking a “Why me?” attitude. You’re not some rare case of hater disease. Just about everyone will be affected at some time in his or her life.

  7. It’s okay to stand up for yourself. Let’s say you own a company. Now imagine that the company is a castle, and that warriors from the Kingdom of Hatred have been sent to ambush you for some dumb reason. Whatever you do, don’t send all your warriors out for a counterattack. Why? Because there’s a difference between attacking your haters and defending yourself against them. Just because someone said something unkind does not mean that you need to repeat the behavior. In cases where ignoring your hater isn’t an option, you can calmly go about defending or explaining yourself—that’s generally the classy way to go. And if you can’t think of anything classy to say, just leave them with a smiley face. (It’s kind of like saying “screw you” in the most pleasant way possible.)

  8. Don’t let haters change your mind. Just because someone out there disagrees with what you’re doing or who you are doesn’t mean that you have to change. Always stay true to yourself.

  9. Okay, I don’t actually have a number nine, I just wanted this to be an even-numbered list . . .

  10. And, finally, DON’T BE A HATER. If someone isn’t directly harming you or anyone else, just leave them be. There are already enough lemon chewers in the world, thank you.

  Toppling the Twin Terrors: Perfectionism and Procrastination

  If you’re a perfectionist like me, you want your ideas to be, well, perfect before you send them out into the world (a place where people will immediately proceed to judge them, critique them, and rip them to shreds, thankyouverymuch). I used to rework, rethink, and redo my projects constantly, but I couldn’t help it: I always wanted to put my best foot forward. Then I heard this wonderful quote that really stuck with me: Perfection is the enemy of good.

  Here’s what that means to me: If you spend all your time trying to make something perfect (which is—let’s be honest—nearly impossible), you miss out on a chance to make something useful or good. Perfectionism can quickly and easily morph into a stall tactic. You can easily become so afraid to pursue that Big Idea because you’re not convinced you can do it exactly, perfectly right, that you end up not doing it at all. Or, you end up stalling so long that you have to rush to get the thing completed. You put it off and put it off and put it off until—all of a sudden—it needs to be done RIGHT THIS MINUTE. The results can range from tolerable (some people manage to work well under pressure) to downright disastrous (you don’t leave yourself enough time to do the work properly). This is why some people believe that perfectionism and procrastination are closely linked. So forget perfect, and settle for good.

  IS YOUR IDEA READY TO FLY?

  Okay. You’ve created your Big Idea Strategy. You’re got your support network in place. And you’re working on avoiding potential derailments. (Sayonara, haters. Adios, fear.) But how do you know that you’re really ready to unleash your idea on the public? This is the final checklist I use to determine if my ideas are ready to be pushed out into the world.

  What Kind of Feedback Have You Received?

  At this point, you’ve probably run your idea by one or both of your parents, as well as a mentor or a trusted friend. If you haven’t, now’s the time. What kind of comments are you getting? Are the members of your support network enthusiastic or hesitant? Do they seem excited or more suspicious and concerned? The reactions you get from your inner circle should be a good indicator of the reactions you’ll get from a larger crowd. Just remember to give any comments you receive their appropriate weight. What I mean is that there’s a clear difference between “That headband is ugly” (which is completely not helpful) and constructive criticism (“I think your headbands could benefit from a stronger, more durable fabric”). Asking your support network for feedback isn’t about pleasing people, it’s about honing your skills. And no matter how enthusiastic or insistent someone may be, you don’t have to take his or her advice. Trust your gut on this.

  Is Now the Right Time?

  Sometimes you may come up with a really amazing idea, but now just isn’t the right time to pursue it. And that’s okay, provided you don’t use that as an excuse to avoid pursuing your passions indefinitely. If you think, I don’t have the resources to launch this project right now, the next step on your creative journey should be figuring out how to get those resources. (Whereas a troublesome or disconcerting response would be, “This idea is too crazy or ambitious, I’ll probably never get the resources I need in place. So why bother?”) Taking the time to question and reconsider your options not only helps you grow, it also hones your decision-making skills. It’s okay to move at your own pace, so long as you don’t hold yourself back.

  Are You Having Persistent, Lingering Doubts?

  If you’re having persistent, lingering doubts, try to determine why. Are those doubts internal (you’re worried about looking like a failure) or external (someone else is making you doubt the awesomeness of your Big Idea)? Are you scared of the unknown, or struggling with a tendency to be a perfectionist? Are you feeling jealous of someone else’s idea, worried that yours won’t be as good? Can you even pinpoint why exactly you feel doubtful?

  It’s up to you to decide whether or not feelings like these are appropriate or necessary. If all they’re doing is getting in your way, go ahead and push forward with your passion. I know that’s easier said than done, but it’s sometimes good to set your intention ahead of your emotion. And if you need a hit of confidence or inspiration, go back and take a look at your dream board.

  People often ask me how I “did it,” how I managed to pursue and follow my dreams. The short answer is that I trusted my gut and followed my passion. I believe that creativity always puts you on a path and leads the way forward, revealing your place in the world. The long answer is a little more complicated.

  As we go through life, we all travel on different paths at different paces. You might get lost on your trip at times—you might wander down a side road, get stuck in a detour, or even hit a dead end. You might sputter out and feel like you can’t move forward. But if you take the time to craft that Big Idea Strategy, build a support network, and commit to your path, you will get moving again. It doesn’t matter if your Big Idea is to start a business, write a novel, or just to enter your art in an art show, don’t be afraid to go forward and share your ideas with the world.

  Back when I was seven or eight, not long after my parents and I moved to the house we live in now, I decided that I wanted to start an organic garden. The finished product was nothing too fancy—it’s not much more than a small plot in our backyard, a patch of soil sectioned off with two-by-fours (kind of reminds me of a sandbox, actually)—but I was able to grow a veritable bumper crop of fruits and veggies: broccoli and kale, purple carrots (which I didn’t even know existed until I found the seeds in the store), blueberries, strawberries, oregano, squash, basil, even watermelon. We also planted a pear tree that produces fruit every year, too.

  I don’t know if a lot of young people are into organic gardening or if I was just one of a lucky (or perhaps unusual) few. What I do know is that I probably had a bit more eco-awareness than your average seven-year-old. When my dad was my age, for example, he was really into competing in science fairs—he actually won awards from NASA and the US Air Force for his solar energy projects. (I told you he was a pretty
tech-savvy guy.) Meanwhile, my mom has always chosen natural and sustainable fibers, nontoxic cleaning supplies, and organic foods whenever possible. I was taught the importance of recycling at a very young age. And I was raised to have love and respect for all God’s creatures. (When I was little, I briefly ran a restaurant for the woodland animals that lived in the trees beyond our yard. Specialties included acorns wrapped in lemongrass and berry-and-leaf salad, and I no doubt made a mud pie or two.) So you see, being environmentally conscious isn’t just important to me, it’s a part of my identity, one of the things that makes me, well, me. Which is why I decided, only a matter of days after launching Maya’s Ideas, to turn my budding business into an eco-friendly company.

  Luckily, I already had some experience with eco-friendly fashion.

  For one thing, I’ve worn vintage and recycled clothing for as long as I can remember. That’s because, aside from being less harmful to the environment (the chemical dyes used in some clothing—even the process of making the clothes—can pollute the water and air, as well as generate huge amounts of toxic waste), vintage and recycled clothes have character. They tell a story. I mean, I think of myself as a kind of storyteller, whether that’s through the act of writing a book, creating an animation, or designing an item for my store (kind of like the story behind Marguerite’s Garden, the piece I made in honor of my grandmother). So it just makes sense that I’d want to wear—and make—clothes that tell a story, too.