by A Lonergan
Tracey shook her head. “I bet they will be up all night. Knox loved to pull all-nighters.” She got a faraway look in her eye and I thought back to what Knox had said that night at dinner with my parents. I wanted to bring it up but knew I shouldn’t. We were here to have a good time, not relive the past.
The sun had disappeared into the night and the moon was heavy overhead. Tracey looked out to the beach and turned completely away from the shit show next door. “Do you wanna go for a swim?”
If I was going to get comfortable with my body, going swimming at night was probably my best bet on doing so. I still hadn’t come to terms with what had happened in Damian’s dungeons. I avoided the mirror at all costs when my clothes were off. It had been easy to ignore in the winter back home, but here it would be different. I wouldn’t have the luxury of being able to hide behind my clothes. Tracey’s face went from excited to concerned.
“I ordered you a ton of one-piece swimsuits. There’s nothing to worry about.” I could have taken my sweater off hours ago. I was comfortable in the car in short sleeves even with it snowing outside but it wasn’t just the ‘D’ marking my stomach that made me self-conscious. It was also the vertical scarring on my legs and arms. They had faded to light silver but it wasn’t the way they looked that bothered me. It was the memories that were dug up from looking at them.
I nodded my head. “Yeah, that’s fine, I’ll try them on.”
My suitcase was like a ticking time bomb as I carried it to the bedroom I had occupied as a child. Back then the walls had been a soft lavender. Now they were painted a light grey. The little twin bed that had been pushed into the corner was now replaced with a massive king-sized bed in the center of the room with a whitewashed dresser across from it. The suitcase felt heavier in my hands as I lifted it and placed it on the bed. As I unzipped it, the sound echoed around the room like it was mocking me.
All the clothes I had packed were things I didn’t know how to wear. They were items from my closet back at home and new things that I had bought recently. I hadn’t thought past the wintertime and what I would do when summer rolled around. Unfortunately, I hadn’t had to wait around to find out.
My heart thundered through my chest as I unzipped the pocket on the inside of it. Swimsuits of all different colors sprang out and sprawled across the little space. I picked one without even looking at it and shucked my clothes off. The one-piece was cheetah print and even though it wasn’t as much my style, as it was Tracey’s, I felt somewhat comfortable in it. My scar didn’t feel irritated against the fabric and I avoided looking down at the exposed parts of myself. A thin black long sleeve cover-up was on the bottom of the pile, I grabbed it and pulled it over my arms quickly before I exited the room. Tracey was already waiting for me at the bar. She wore a tiny cheetah bikini and no cover-up. She grinned when she saw me.
“Great minds think alike.” She winked. “Hurry up, we don’t want the guys to see us. At least we will get a little private time.”
I had a feeling that Rafe knew where I was at all times. I didn’t believe for a second that he was enjoying himself or the hot mess that was happening next door. He had to keep himself occupied somehow. I glanced over out of the corner of my eye and didn’t see any of them through the windows. It was probably a good thing. It meant we would actually get some time to enjoy this place without them. I had a feeling once we got all mixed up together again, there would be no separating.
The sand between my toes brought me a peace I wasn’t expecting from this trip. My shoulders, once again, relaxed and my breathing felt deeper. The salt air stuck heavily to my skin but there was something comforting about that too. Tracey wasted no time as she barreled across the beach and dove right into the waves. She broke through the surface of the water and giggled. The sound of it eased some of the tension from my body some more.
Tracey swam out farther into the surf while I got comfortable with the way the waves felt around my ankles. A prickling on the back of my neck notified me of someone watching me. I knew it was Rafe and because of that, I didn’t turn around. There was something freeing about the way he watched me when he thought no one was looking. I let the cover-up slip off my shoulders and down my arms before it pooled in the sand at my feet. I kicked it far enough out of reach from the water before I really made my way into the ocean. The cold water splashed my ankles and caused goosebumps to ignite up and down my body. I didn’t mind though because I knew he watched me.
Tracey paid neither of us any mind as she crashed through the waves. All she cared about was the water. I could hear her gentle laugh on the breeze when the water was finally up to my knees. Then and only then did I have the courage to turn around.
Chapter 13
Rafe
I had never considered myself a romantic. I had never had the most romantic thoughts or actions. All I had been worried about was a quickie. As Knox called them- hump and dumps. Honestly, I never thought there would be something like love within my grasp. But as I watched Jade turn toward me with the moon illuminating her light hair, I wanted to write poetry. I leaned against the railing and about fell right over it.
There was nothing more beautiful than her in the water. Everything else faded around me. I couldn’t hear Knox’s singing or Archer’s fart noises. Gabriel’s complaining faded into the background. Nothing mattered except her. The wind picked up the hair around her shoulders and my fingers itched to brush it away. Her eyes glowed in the night and I wanted nothing more than to watch them close as I kissed her body.
“You’ve got it bad,” Mav interrupted my thoughts and leaned against the railing beside me.
Jade’s face turned pink under Mav’s gaze and a possessive jealousness rose up inside of me unbidden. I rolled my shoulders to try to ease some of the tension inside of me.
“I don’t want her, I hope you know that.” His whisper barely soothed the animal within me. “I know I spend a lot of time with her, but I feel like I finally have someone around that understands what I went through.”
Mav had been changed against his will too but it was from a psycho girlfriend that thought she was his mate. She had changed him and her wolf went insane. She had claimed him too. He didn’t try to hide the scarring on his neck either. When it was summertime, he wore it with pride and hardly ever covered up. She had eventually killed herself and the fact that Mav was still alive proved that there had just been something wrong with her, rather than them being mates.
Jade wrapped her arms around herself as she continued into the ocean. Knox’s yelling inside was barely a whisper as I watched her. She calmed something within me and my animal. I didn’t know how to explain it and I didn’t know if I wanted to. Her silver scars shimmered in the moonlight and I wondered if they still bothered her. She had refused therapy and said she was fine. I couldn’t force her and neither could my mom but we still worried. She hadn’t shown any signs of it bothering her but it was hard to tell with it still being winter.
Her fingers trembled slightly as they made contact with the scarred skin. I wouldn’t have noticed it but my wolf sure did. He zeroed in on it and forced me to take a deep inhale. There were slight hints of desire on the wind but there was also fear. I couldn’t force her to open up to me, but damn it if I didn’t want that.
With grace like no other, Tracey stomped through the waves and threw her arms around my mate. They both tumbled over in the dark water. Little gasps and laughter met my ears- my heart did a summersault. Everyone else had been right, this was what we needed. I hadn’t known it, but this was what I needed. I needed to hear her laugh and live without fear. It reminded me of what I was fighting for.
Even though I didn’t want to turn away from her and go back into the rambunctious house, I knew she needed her time alone. I respected that, even as my heart left my chest when the door clicked closed behind me and the sounds amplified around me.
Chapter 14
Jade
A scream ripped from my throat and I jerked awa
ke in bed. Something held my legs down and I fought to get them away. Escape. My heart pounded in my chest as the darkened room came into view. It took Tracey a few seconds to rip through the door. An oversized t-shirt hung from her curvy frame. Her hair stood up around her head. It took me a minute to realize the thing that had been holding my legs down was the blanket. I kicked it off of me.
“What is it?” Claws protruded from her fingertips and dug into the doorframe.
Gasps filled the space between us as I fought to get air into my lungs. I pressed my trembling hands to my chest as the terror evaporated from my system.
“Jade?” The bed dipped under Tracey’s weight. “Are you okay?”
I choked on the words. “It was just a nightmare.”
Rafe came tearing through the doorway next. He wore nothing but a pair of shorts. “Jade?” His chest rose rapidly with each breath. He seemed to be struggling for air just as much as I was. I waved my hand around but I couldn’t speak again. The smell of my terror was still strong in the room.
Nalia nuzzled me inside of my head. You are okay. You are surrounded by love. Even Nalia had known it was a nightmare.
Rafe’s golden eyes glowed in the dark. “Do the men need to come up here?”
Mortification ran through me in a thick current. I had managed to wake up all of them and there was no real threat. It was the first nightmare I had since we escaped Damian. I had thought I was fine, I had thought I didn’t need help. But everything had felt so real. My hands trembled as I placed them on my now healed stomach. In my nightmare, he had been tearing into it again, but this time, he was doing it over my scar. It wasn’t a memory I was reliving, it was something new.
Tracey grasped my ankle in her warm hand. “You can talk to me if you need to.” She looked over her shoulder at Rafe and something passed over her features. He was telling her something through the Alpha link. “You can come sleep in my room if you’d like. I’ll see you in the morning.”
She was gone before I could say anything. But even if she had stayed, I didn’t know what I would tell her. Rafe stayed standing near the door and didn’t say anything. We both stared each other down until he finally sighed and took a step farther into the room. He kicked the door closed and we were both suspended in the darkness. Nalia helped with my eyesight a bit and I watched as he climbed onto the bed. He didn’t touch me as he drew closer to me. He pulled the blankets around his shoulders and rolled his back toward me.
“I’m here if you need me,” was all he said before he fell asleep beside me. I didn’t know what I had expected from him, but it wasn’t this. I had thought he would force me to talk about it or demand answers but he fell asleep without any prompting. His breathing vibrated the bed in a comforting manner. But it didn’t matter that he was there or Tracey was down the hall, I couldn’t get Damian’s face out of my mind. He had been right there leaning over me. He had cut into my skin over and over. I could make out my scarring in the dark and it did nothing but make me feel worse.
Finally, I pulled the blankets up but not to keep myself warm. I pulled them up so I didn’t have to see what he had done to me.
I woke up to Rafe’s fingers wrapped around my own. It was the first time I had slept soundly in a while. Back at my home, I knew I had dreams and nightmares, I just couldn’t remember them when I woke up the next morning. It was exhausting.
Rafe was watching me with lazy eyes and a blush tinged my cheeks. He tucked a piece of hair behind my ear then he leaned forward to brush his lips against my cheek. His fingers slipped through mine as he got up from the bed and left from the room. I didn’t know what to say. I wondered if I should chase after him or thank him but all I could do was lay there and do absolutely nothing. My stomach fluttered with butterflies and my heart felt different. It felt like it was a little better than it had been before.
Tracey leaned against the doorframe with a smirk. “So how was last night?”
I rolled my eyes and chucked a pillow at her. She dodged it. “None of your business.”
Tracey’s smirk only grew. “I didn’t hear any moaning, must not have been that good of a time.”
I pulled the blanket over my head to hide my embarrassment. “Virgin ears!”
She barked out a laugh. “That’s the biggest pile of horse crap I have ever heard!” The blanket slid from my body as she yanked on the end of it. I couldn’t hide forever. “We have a long day of frozen margaritas and hot men! Get your ass dressed.”
Tracey hadn’t been lying. She had dragged me through strip malls and then through three Mexican restaurants. She was on the lookout for the perfect frozen margarita and she wouldn’t stop until she found it. I couldn’t stand the taste of them anymore. Me and alcohol just didn’t mix anymore, even if it didn’t get me drunk. The taste did something to my insides and reminded me of all the times I had been stupid. I pressed my palm into my forehead. I didn’t want to have to relive that ever again.
Tracey sipped on her third margarita while she overlooked the bay. I could tell she wasn’t enjoying it by the way she pressed her lips together after every swallow. Like it was complete and actual torture for her. She leaned over to me and whispered, “The only reason this place is this busy is because of the beautiful view.” She eyed the chips and queso on the table. “Their food isn’t even that good.”
I sucked my bottom lip into my mouth. “I thought it was good.”
Tracey pouted. “Oh, Jade, you have so much to learn about the finer things in life.”
I considered arguing before I thought better of it. If her taste buds were superior to mine, then so be it. I was still getting used to my extra wolf-y senses. Maybe she was right. Maybe I did have more to learn.
Tracey hadn’t even drunk half of the frozen drink before she practically threw it onto the bar. The contents sloshed over the side and she made a face. She tucked a wad of cash under the glass and started to walk away. Her long legs were hard to keep up with as I rushed behind her. She hopped into the jeep and rolled all the windows down before I had even exited the restaurant.
“Maybe we should go back to the house, I think I could make a better margarita there.” I agreed with her. Anything to get out of restaurant hopping. No one would live up to her standards. My seatbelt clicked into place when Knox folded his arms inside of my window and leaned forward. His red hair was piled up on his head and he wore a tank top. He grinned and his canines flashed. Tracey growled. “I will run over you if you don’t move out of the way.”
Knox’s sigh was full of theatrics. “Why don’t you let me make you that fruity frozen drink?”
Tracey’s sunglasses slid down her nose. “Oh? You think you can do better than these places?”
Knox’s grin only grew. “Oh, baby, I know so.”
Tracey shoved a stick of gum into her mouth. “I think you’re on pretty boy.”
Knox hummed as he backed away from the Jeep. “See you in an hour.”
I closed my eyes. It was going to be a very long day.
Chapter 15
Rafe
Knox and Tracey both faced each other head to head. She had the frozen margarita in front of her and Knox had on a stupid kiss the chef apron on over his bare chest and swimming trunks. Jade watched them with a grim look on her face. She knew they wouldn’t back down from each other’s challenges and that worried her. Archer was shotgunning a beer while some girls watched him from the beach. It was rather secluded but every few hours a few people would walk by or choose this spot to sunbathe. Gabriel was laying out on the patio pretending to be asleep and Mav was watching the margarita showdown with a serious expression on his face.
“Are you going to drink that? It’s going to melt by the time you two stop staring at each other,” Mav whined. He was right. They had been at this for five minutes now. Neither one of them was going to back down. Finally, Mav slid his hand forward to grab the glass. Tracey was lightning fast as she stabbed the counter, right beside his hand, with a fork.
Jade’s mouth dropped open. I hadn’t seen her grab the fork. Knox’s lips twitched with amusement. Mav just slid his hand back toward himself while he tucked his bottom lip inside his mouth. It was getting intense. Sweat rolled down Tracey’s temple. Knox didn’t look phased but I knew better. They were evenly matched and if Knox hadn’t decided to be a Guardian, it would have been a hell of a showdown for when he was ready to take on the Beta position. Nothing like that had ever happened before.
“Will you two just sleep together already?” Archer moaned from the other side of the counter now. That was what did Tracey in. Her head snapped toward Archer and her eyes screamed murder. He pressed his lips together in a smile of fear. Jade fought a laugh and Mav just simply looked terrified. I guess a fork would do that to a man. She grabbed the glass in both hands and took a big swig from it.
We all practically exhaled together. Finally.
Tracey’s eyes watched Knox over the rim of the glass before she took it away from her face. She licked her lips. “Hmm, I guess you’ll do.” She didn’t bother with saying anything else as Knox’s eyes got big. She walked out of the beach house without looking back, with the glass between her hands. Somehow she shucked her cover-up and walked down the steps right to the sand without spilling a drop from the drink. Knox didn’t take his eyes off of her once. I would imagine it had something to do with her ass spilling out of her swimsuit bottoms but I wasn’t exactly sure. I didn’t look long enough to find out, but everyone else had.
Knox’s closed fists shot up into the sky with victory. He let out a roar and all the guys slapped him on the back. To get Tracey’s vote of approval was a big deal, especially after she had just lost the showdown. Besides victory and pride in the air, there was something else. Yes, arousal. But there was also another scent. It was deeper and more something but I couldn’t put my finger on it. Knox’s cheeks were pink when my eyes landed back on him.
