Only with You

by Lea Coll

  “That’s smart.”

  “It was my brother’s idea to host a reveal party for the next house I’m completing. He invited local news outlets to gain interest and possibly donations. Rebuilds need the money, but I’m not a fan of attention.”

  Hadley’s eyes shone with admiration and respect. “What you’re doing is amazing.”

  “Thank you. I enjoy doing it.” My cheeks felt warm. I did it because I loved the work and the looks on the family’s faces when they saw their new home. I didn’t do it for accolades, even though her admiration felt good.

  She toed off her shoes before making her way around the wall to where I stood on the mats. “Are you ready to show me some moves?”

  Her tone was flirty. I wanted to show her what I loved about karate and entice her into taking classes, but I couldn’t ignore the racing of my heart when she stood before me. I’d have to be close to her when I showed her moves. I’d have to touch her.

  I swallowed before answering, my throat suddenly dry. “That was my only class today, so, I’m free to focus on you.”

  My words were flirtatious, but the act was rusty in this post-Caroline me. I turned so she couldn’t see the expression on my face. I walked to the middle of the mats to run through a warm-up.

  I led her through a few stretches, trying to act as if she was any other student. “Do you remember what style you studied when you were a kid?”

  “I don’t.” Her expression was apologetic.

  “That’s okay. We’ll go through some kicks and see what you remember.”

  She nodded before getting into a loose fighting stance. I tapped under her elbow to lift it. I touched her shoulders, so she’d roll them back and adjusted her posture. I stood back to see the effect and then I tapped her feet, encouraging her to widen her stance. “Perfect.”

  I walked around her, noting the curve of her ass in those leggings, the tone in her calves, and the way the position pushed her breasts out. I stopped in front of her. Her face was slightly pink. I hoped my proximity and scrutiny affected her.

  “Show me your punches.” I ran through each one and then the kicks—the middle toe, the reverse spin, the ax, increasing in difficulty until she faltered. When she didn’t know the name for a kick, I demonstrated the form.

  “I’m impressed that you remembered so much when it had been so long since you took a class.”

  “Thanks. I am too.” She stood with her hands on her hips.

  “Even if you don’t come back for another class, I’d like to show you a few self-defense moves, if that’s alright?”

  She shrugged. “Sure.”

  I went through the instructions and moves for a few basic defense moves I taught the lower belts. I tried to be objective and not think about how soft her skin felt beneath my fingers or the feel of her in my arms. I was close enough to smell her floral scent.

  When we finished, I asked, “When you practiced, what did you like about it?”

  I crossed my arms over my chest, my legs spread wide stood as I waited for her to respond.

  She licked her lips, drawing my eyes to them. “I guess, the ability to focus on what was in front of me and block everything out.”

  I nodded in appreciation of her answer, trying to ignore the heat that flared in my body when she licked her lips. “Are you interested in earning a black belt? I can assign you a belt based on your abilities and you can work toward it.”

  Hadley sighed, looking away from me. “Honestly, I’ve sunk my money into the law firm, and I don’t have any to spare right now. Normally, it wouldn’t be a problem but—”

  I understood that—placing all your hopes and dreams into one thing. I knew the worst that could happen when it all came crashing down. I wanted her to complete something she wanted to do as a child. To see the look of pride in her eyes when she did. I opened my mouth to respond—

  “And before you offer to let me do it for free—don’t. You have to stop taking on charity cases. You’re running a business,” she said in a chiding tone.

  “This is different. I’d be helping out a friend.” I told myself my actions were friendly, but I wasn’t so sure.

  “It would be good. I’ve missed doing something physical and it would be nice to get my black belt—to finish something that was my own.” Her expression was wistful.

  “You have finished a lot on your own, haven’t you? You went to law school. You started your own business, even if you have partners, it’s still commendable.”

  “I hadn’t thought about it like that.”

  “Your parents must be proud of you.”

  A shadow crossed her face. “I don’t know about that. My dad wanted me to work for his business. He still does.”

  I shouldn’t be concerned about her relationship with her dad. I should leave it alone even though I wanted to know what her childhood was like. Was her dad the reason she’d moved here?

  “The evaluation is complimentary and if you change your mind, we can discuss options.”

  “That sounds reasonable.” She grabbed a water bottle from her bag.

  What was I doing? Did I want this woman around me more? That’s what would happen if I worked with her. She had quite a few belts to get through before she’d be ready for a black belt. Depending on how hard she worked and how often she came, it might be a year or two.

  “Did you want to discuss the estimate?” She pulled a file out of her bag and handed me the paper.

  I focused on the numbers in front of me. “I’ve never hired an attorney before. I guess I was expecting it to cost more.”

  She placed a hand on my forearm. “I want to be fair and we’re a new firm. You’d be taking a chance on us and if you do, I want to reward you for that. I want to promise you that these will always be your prices. For as long as I’m a partner, anyway.”

  I tried to focus on her words, but I was distracted by the warmth of her hand. “I’ll think about it.”

  “Of course. I wouldn’t expect anything less.” She slung the strap of her bag over her shoulder before walking toward the door.

  I followed her, intending to lock the door when she left.

  She turned to face me. “Thank you for this morning.”

  “You’re welcome.” I wondered if I should mention she was welcome to try another class for free or if that was too pushy.

  She turned, opening the door to leave.

  “I have a class at six on Monday if you’re interested.” The words came out in a rush.

  “I’ll think about it.” She turned slightly to me, a smile playing on her lips.

  “That’s fair.” I hoped she’d take me up on my offer.

  I watched her walk down the street and out of sight.

  I closed my eyes and rocked on my heels. If I were her teacher, I’d have to be close to her, touch her. Could I be that close to her and not want more? If she were my attorney, we couldn’t cross that line anyway.

  Chapter Six

  HADLEY

  I forced myself to walk home, not looking back even though I felt Cade’s eyes on me. Was he as affected as I was? When he grasped my arm to demonstrate a move, an overwhelming feeling of longing and desire streamed through me as my heart pounded. His thumb softly stroked the sensitive skin on the inside of my wrist and my breath came in short pants.

  His touch was thrilling and sweet torture. I told myself it was the proximity to a man who took care of his body.

  When he brought my back against his very defined chest and his arm across my neck, I’d closed my eyes for a second and breathed in his scent—the starch of his uniform and soap—before I cleared my mind and allowed my prior training to take over.

  I checked his eyes to see if there was a flicker of interest, but there wasn’t. He kept his lower body away from mine. I didn’t see his eyes dilate, his breathing increase, or his words waver.

  Cade had lines around his eyes that made me guess he was in his thirties. He’d seen life. He’d lived it and suffered. An aura of
sadness clung to him like the smell of sawdust. It never lifted and it never washed off. If I pursued him, I’d have to deal with the source of his pain. Would he trust me enough to share it with me?

  I’d relive today when I closed my eyes tonight. I’d remember his scent, his touch, and the strength of his body as he twisted, flipped, and maneuvered me on those mats. I could easily imagine how he’d take control in bed.

  Was it a good idea to continue with him as my teacher and my client? Especially when I was physically attracted to him. If he hired me, we couldn’t date. A sexual relationship between an attorney and a current client was a violation of the rules of professional conduct. I’d worked too hard to have my license suspended or taken away.

  Not only was it unethical for anything to happen, but I never pursued men. In my circle, potential suitors were analyzed, much like the moves we’d gone through at the studio. Did the man come from a reputable family with money? Did he have a good education and job? Was this a good match—one that our families would support? It was never as visceral and straightforward as reacting to someone’s touch, his smell, or the desire to make someone smile.

  I walked up the steps to my second-floor apartment, feeling pride in my tidy apartment, filled with things I’d bought. I stepped through the sliding glass door to the porch, overlooking the water. It was the reason I’d settled on this place. It was within walking distance to my office. It was calm and peaceful.

  Had I felt anything for Layton when I first met him? A tingling in my blood, a vibration under my skin, a lightness in my chest, or a thundering of my heart? No, I hadn’t. Instead, I’d listed his details as I’d study for an exam.

  Degree from a prestigious business school. Check.

  A well-respected family who came from old money. Check.

  A job in the successful family business. Check.

  But the other side of the coin was a man who was cold, calculating, and manipulative like my father.

  When I imagined a marriage proposal, I thought I’d be elated. I’d be looking down at the man I could see forever with. My heart would be full. Shouldn’t the proposal come with a declaration of love?

  Kissing Layton was something I did but hadn’t enjoyed. I hadn’t imagined sinking into his hold to feel his body pressed against mine. I didn’t close my eyes to breathe in his scent without distractions. It was nothing like how my imagination ran wild when it came to Cade.

  Maybe the reason I was attracted to Cade was because he was his own man. He owned a business and made his own decisions. He didn’t seem like he let anyone influence or pressure him. That was evident in how he’d assessed my moves this morning and carefully reviewed the estimate.

  With his attentiveness to detail and form, I suspected he’d be phenomenal in bed. He’d note every sharp inhale of breath, each arch into him, and do whatever caused those reactions over and over again to please me. His pleasure would be derived from mine. The thought caused my core to clench.

  My phone buzzed with an income text.

  Cade: It’s Cade. I hope it’s ok for me to text. You gave me your card with this number on it.

  Seeing his name pop up on my screen sent warmth coursing through my body.

  Hadley: Of course.

  Cade: I want to hire you. These prices are so low I can’t say no.

  Excitement shot through my chest that he wanted to hire me. I had my first client. My stomach sank. That meant my fantasies about him had to remain in my imagination. While he was my client, we couldn’t date. I sighed, resignation flowing through my body.

  Hadley: I’ll bring over the attorney-client agreement on Monday and we can get started right away. The agreement that brought the code of ethics into play—the one that said I couldn’t date my client.

  Cade: Perfect. I’ll get my overdue contracts organized.

  Being his attorney would have to be enough.

  Chapter Seven

  CADE

  A weight lifted from my chest after I hit send on my text to Hadley. It was the right decision. More money coming in meant more money for my Rebuilds program. If I wanted to approach Nolan and ask him to be my partner, overdue contracts would not be a good selling point.

  I placed my gym bag on the bench inside my door and surveyed the dated kitchen with its aging appliances, chipped Formica, the peeling linoleum, and the walls that broke up the first floor. Which should I tackle first?

  My body hummed with energy. I grabbed my ax and goggles from the garage and stood in front of the decorative wall separating the kitchen from the living room.

  The tightness in my chest loosened with each swing. The vibration of the ax striking the wall reverberated down my arm into my shoulder. I swung the ax, reveling in the holes in the wall and the chunks of drywall dropping to the floor. A feeling of accomplishment—of doing something for myself—flowed through my veins as endorphins released in my brain, spreading a feeling of rightness.

  I lowered the blade of the ax to the floor, still gripping the handle tightly. I relished the ache in my muscles, the twinge in my shoulder, the sweat which beaded on my forehead, and dripped down my back. All that was left were the pieces of drywall and dust on the floor. I should have covered my counters and floors first, but that didn’t deflect from the sense of completion, of a new beginning.

  I’d hired an attorney to handle the businesses. I started demolition of my house. Today was different than the other days. And for the first time since Caroline died, I wasn’t afraid of different.

  My phone buzzed on the counter. I brushed off the drywall dust before seeing Nolan’s name on the screen.

  “Hey, Nolan, what’s up?” I asked.

  “Cade?”

  “Yeah, who else would it be?”

  “Um. I don’t know. It’s just—” He cleared his throat. “You never answer the phone. I was going to leave a message.”

  “Do you want me to hang up so you can leave a message?” My lips twitched in an unfamiliar motion.

  “No, man. I wanted to talk to you. I’m just surprised.” His voice was tight. Like he was fighting through emotion.

  “Is everything okay?”

  “Yeah,” he blew out a sigh. “Everything’s fine. I just didn’t expect…You sound good. Real good. What are you doing?”

  When my parents faded into the background after Caroline died, Nolan was the one who called once a week and dropped by with take-out. I told him to leave me alone, but he wouldn’t listen. He never forced me to talk about anything. He was there. I was grateful for his presence and support. I was thankful he hadn’t given up on me even though I’d never expressed that to him. I was an ungrateful bastard.

  “I’m tearing down that wall in my kitchen.”

  There was silence on the line for a few seconds like he was thinking. “You’re demoing your house?”

  “Yeah, I am.”

  “I’ll be right over.” He hung up.

  I pulled water out of the fridge, took a long pull, closing my eyes as I relished the feeling of cold water sliding down my parched throat. Everything felt a little sharper, brighter, and more in tune today. I grabbed a few garbage bags and gloves to clean up the mess, covering the vents and the counters with the tarp I kept in my truck. When I finished, I heard the key in the lock and the front door open.

  Nolan stepped inside in a white T-shirt and old jeans, his usual work outfit, his eyes widening as he took everything in before finally settling on me. “I didn’t believe you.”

  He gave me a long considering look. I suspected he wanted to ask what was going on even though he didn’t. “What do you need me to do?”

  “You want to do the honors?” I picked up the reciprocating saw.

  “I didn’t think this day would come.” His voice was thick with emotion as he turned his face away to put on a spare set of goggles and gloves he’d pulled from his back pocket.

  I was the older brother, but when Caroline died—a big part of me was extinguished too. The part Nolan looked up to
, the guy people respected was gone. I was a shell going through the motions but not really living. I was ready to get back to being the guy I was before.

  When the framing and studs were down, we cleaned up before we loaded the debris into my truck bed. I’d take it to the dump later.

  Nolan leaned his forearms on the truck rim. The breeze off the water was refreshing after working so hard. “What brought this on?”

  I saw the happiness in his eyes. “Honestly, I don’t know.”

  “You’ve moved on in some ways, with Morrison Construction Rebuilds, your house and our parents, but in other ways, you haven’t. It’s like you were stuck. I’m not even sure you were aware of it.”

  I shifted on my feet and stuffed my hands in my pockets. I hadn’t realized Nolan was so perceptive. “I don’t know if I’ll ever get over it, but it’s time to plan for my future. I can fix this house up and sell it.”

  His forehead wrinkled. “Is that what you want? I thought you bought this place to live in?”

  “Regardless of what I want, rebuilding is the first step.”

  “I’m happy for you, man. Do you think you’ll come to family dinner on Sunday?”

  After Caroline died, I couldn’t face a house full of memories of Caroline healthy and happy. “I don’t think I’m ready.”

  “I miss you. I miss the brother I had.”

  “I do, too. I’d like to get back to being that guy.”

  Nolan slapped me on the back. “I’ll take whatever I can get because that guy—” He gestured at my house. “That guy wasn’t my brother. He was depressed. He was lost. I couldn’t reach that guy.”

  I thought I had moved on. My charity occupied my attention. To hear my brother’s thoughts, sent regret coursing through my body. “I’ll try and be better.”