Something (Full Murderhobo Book 1)

by Dakota Krout

  Luke grabbed Cookie, who was shining. He picked up the bone, and it flashed. The surface turned a deeper shade of blue, and he felt something inside him connect to it.

  The basic two-handed bone weapon ‘Cookie’ has finished reacting to your skill ‘Fully Geared’. Would you like to start absorbing ‘Cookie’ into a weapon slot? Caution: weapon will be destroyed in the process.

  “How dare you threaten Cookie!” Luke’s fist lashed out as he screamed, impacting only air with a *wub*. He jumped to his feet. “What was that… right! I got stronger! I’ll figure this all out later. Let’s go try to get that goat Zone-clearing bonus, Cookie!”

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Goats ran away bleating in terror as the personification of goaty death loomed large behind them. A blue-white streak whirled through the air and left behind nothing but pulverized grass. At first the goats had made a proud and noble stand, but now the unified herd that controlled the entire grassland of the first Zone was in full retreat.

  “Ha, ha! Thirty points in Fitness!” Luke bellowed after the fleeing creatures at the top of his lungs. He flashed forward, catching up to his target as if it had been standing still. Cookie came down, and Luke caught the escaping pearl on the first bounce. Collecting all the pearls was easy, as that was the largest object left after each Cookie-cutter smash. The pearls didn't seem to mind the force, but skulls didn't particularly care for it.

  “How hard must I be hitting in order to totally demolish the entire goat like that, Cookie? How do I transfer points in ‘Body’ to a usable metric?” Luke pondered this thought while working to destroy every other living thing in the Zone. That included the grass; it was working with the goats to hide them! When it was as short as the grass in Zone two, he left it alone after careful consideration and a long conversation with Cookie.

  “I could have burned this place down, and the goats would have just respawned anyway, huh?” Luke mused calmly. “Ah, no point in worrying about it now.”

  He spent the next few weeks utterly annihilating the entire Zone. At the start, he was killing dozens of goats every minute, but now that he needed to chase them; he was only getting that many every other minute. Luke was also attempting to find his limits, and found that after four days straight of wakefulness, his mind couldn't handle the stress anymore.

  Every time that happened, he would retreat to Zone two and rest, then get back to work as soon as he woke. A month into his new pet project, he had cleared about half the Zone and was finding fewer and fewer Battering Rams. He almost slipped as he returned to killin’, as there was so much blue blood on the slope that it couldn't dry up in a reasonable amount of time. On a positive note, it made getting to the second Zone both fast and easy! He jumped and slid on the proper-length grass; treating the gentle slope like the largest slide in existence and traveling to Zone two in style. “Whee!”

  Another month, and the excitement had worn off. There was one major positive: Luke finally finished off his grim task. Over the last few weeks, he had explored all the changes to his body and now had a good grasp on his limits. The feeling that he was stagnating was gone. Now he was disgruntled that fighting such weak things had kept him trapped for so long. Even worse, with his new level, they gave him such a small amount of… exp… that he hadn’t gained even a single point.

  Challenge completed: clear all Battering Rams from Zone one! Reward: 200 Potentia!

  “Hooray.” Luke growled at the words that he still held a slight grudge against. “It was so worth the effort.”

  He sat down in his old camp next to a pile of discarded bones, horns, and hides that was piled higher than he stood. Leaning against the hides, he took a short nap, awakening feeling refreshed and relaxed. He had finally gotten revenge on the goats for the years of torment, and avenged the ‘right herd’. Yes, their extinction had been his fault, but when he thought about that, something always-

  Battering Ram Horn (x500) have finished being absorbed by skill ‘Fully Geared’. You are now able to slot the Ram Horn as a fist weapon for either right or left hand slot.

  “I’m some sort of enchanter class, right?” Luke massaged his head and tried to remember the stories he used to read, but he couldn't think of anything else that was similar to what he was doing. “Horns, huh? That’s bone… come on, Cookie, let’s see what happens. Bind horns to the right fist?”

  There was no clear change, though when he looked at his status, the weapon had apparently bound to his fist.

  Gear

  Head: None.

  Shoulders: None.

  Gauntlet: None.

  Torso: None.

  Legs: None.

  Feet: None.

  Right Hand: Battering Ram Knuckles. Effect: +5% physical damage (Blunt). Right hand treated as a weapon when attacking.

  Left Hand: None.

  “I see nothing. This place is messing with me again.” Luke grabbed the horns on the ground that had the deepest blue coloration and headed toward what he now knew was a waterfall and pool of concentrated mana. He dipped a finger in, cautious now that he knew what he was dealing with. There was no pain, no sudden death. That was a plus. It still seemed like simple water to him, so he stepped in and got to work.

  He used his pure strength to forcibly smooth the damage that had been done to Cookie by the guardian of the third Zone. He soothed her the whole time, knowing that the process must be painful. Still, since she was so egotistical about her looks, Luke knew that he should try to fix up all the scars. Shaved goat horn, mixed with the water, acted as a kind of glue. When he was finished filling in everything that the water couldn’t do by itself, Luke gently placed Cookie into the pool. He waited by the poolside for a few days, letting the mana thoroughly soak in, and fretting for her the whole time.

  During that time, he found that the mana pool had carved a channel down through the exact center of the Zone and into the next one. He took a half hour and explored the new stream, finding a new pool in the center of Zone two that had definitely not been there before. “Yet another mystery to explore!”

  After a week, he pulled Cookie out of the water and tried to shave down any new protrusions, even going so far as to smash Cookie against the ground as hard as he could over and over. Luke wasn’t worried; during the week, she had started to shine a deeper blue that let him know she would be harder to break. The extra bone material stayed on, and seemed almost as strong as the original. “Good… good… time to flatten a monkey.”

  He followed the stream downhill and charged straight at the Stone Ape. It watched him come, and prepared itself to counterattack as it always had. Cookie swung around into its face… and the Stone Ape shattered just like that. Luke was shocked, but dove forward and caught the pearl that fell from the creature.

  Damage dealt: Unknown. You are using a weapon that has not been quantified by your skills.

  “Stop trying to make me eat Cookie!” Luke screamed at the screen, his eyes wild and his chest heaving.

  You have slain Stone Ape Guardian (Tier 2, level 3). Potentia gained: 1. Slaying a creature two levels lower than you reduces Potentia gained! Caution! Defeating a guardian will spawn two more at the same level! All new spawns will remain for twelve hours after the most recent guardian was defeated, then fade away until only a single guardian remains!

  You have gained a skill pearl (T2) from a Stone Ape Guardian! You can either use the pearl right away by swallowing it, or combine fifty pearls at a time to upgrade the skill rarity!

  Luke scanned the notifications and looked into the distance. Two slabs of stone lifted from the ground over ten seconds and resolved into Stone Apes. “Well, now I know what I’m gonna be doing for the next year or two!”

  He dove into the fray, shattering the two guardians with a swing each. Four more appeared, and soon there were so many spawning and attacking all at once that he had a seemingly never-ending stream to fight against. “Level five, huh? Wait, no. It said three. Why did I think it was five? I wonder how hard it
’s supposed to be to kill you?”

  Hundreds of guardians were popping out of the ground every second, and Luke was starting to get torn up by their claws. Even though he could kill them with one hit using Cookie, he couldn’t react fast enough to dodge what was now a swarm. His armor was rags at this point, the metal claws easily able to tear through the goat hide. Only the fact that he had started with half a foot of leather made it difficult for the guardians to get at him. A deep slash opened up his side along his left ribs, and Luke roared furiously. Changing his grip, he started swinging Cookie in a huge arc; becoming a whirlwind traveling toward the edge of the Zone.

  He made it, barely, and fell into a heap once he had found safety. With trembling fingers, he unscrewed Cookie and drank the water stored inside. Soothing warmth emanated from his stomach, and the raw mana traveled along his new mana channels like the world's best medicine. It actually was this world’s best medicine, as far as he knew. Luke’s wounds didn't close instantly, but when he pulled up his status, he could see the number ticking upward.

  Health: 87/150. Caution! You are bleeding heavily!

  You have slain Stone Ape Guardian (level 5) x439. Potentia gained: 439.

  Current Etheric Xenograft Potentia: 3,439/3,400 to level 8!

  You are able to increase in level! Do so now? Yes / No.

  “What? I thought I was something like fourteen thousand away? Let’s see… oh. That was the skill, not my level. Got it. Hmm. No.” Luke stared at the Potentia hungrily. “What are you… is there anything else you’re used for? My skill wants you too, yes?”

  Checking access levels… no trainer present within [error] miles. Early access granted.

  Etheric Xenograft Potentia is used to increase the potential of your being, or applicable skills to bring them to the next tier or level.

  “How much do I need to bring Fully Geared to the next level?” Luke had finally found something to be excited about.

  Current exp in skill: 477/11,000 to skill level 10! Level ten is an important threshold, the barrier between tiers! To break through the tier, you need double the experience of level 9 (5,500) to break through to the next tier.

  “I have nowhere near what I need…” Luke took a long breath and continued to wait until his health had returned. “I have two options, Cookie. Level myself so that I have a higher reaction speed, or save up the exp. But if I level myself, I might not get any exp from the guardians anymore…”

  A third option appeared in Luke’s mind, and his eyes lit up. “It said that I can get a skill per pearl tier from each monster!”

  Luke had pearls for days. He pulled out a T1, T2, and T3 from his goat hide canteen, swallowing them down in order.

  Skill gained: Bum Rush. T1, level 0. Mana cost: 10

  Effect 1: At the cost of 10 mana, once per minute you can empower your forward charge, allowing you to cross the distance in one second that you can normally sprint in five seconds. Extra effective for knocking over defensive lines!

  “What’s a Bum?” There was no answer to Luke’s question, so the next pearl went down.

  Skill gained: Goat Call. T2, level 0. Mana cost: 10.

  Effect 1: Lure goats to your location, forcibly. Near impossible for any goat to resist.

  Bonus 1, at range: Lure goats from up to a mile away.

  “All right, so not every skill is a winner; good to know.” Luke grimaced at the new skill. Why would anyone want more goats near them… wait. He could lure them closer and then kill them! This skill was amazing! The next pearl went down.

  Skill gained: Innate Balance. T3, level 1. Mana cost: none.

  Effect 1: You gain an innate balance when walking on narrow ledges or anything that you are attempting to walk on that requires good balance. This skill is modified by the sub-characteristic Physical Reaction. Current balance increase: 5%. (passive ability)

  Bonus 1, at range: When jumping or leaping, balance bonus doubles.

  Effect 2: The bonus is active at all times, not only when on narrow walkways.

  Just to see what would happen, Luke then ate another T1 pearl from a goat. No new skill appeared, so he put the others away carefully. No need to waste them, who knew if he would someday come back and get these pearls all the way up to tier five? In fact… now the pool of water that had formed in the Zone took on a new meaning. Should he hide his pearls in the water? He decided that would be better than lugging them around.

  “Then I’ll lure in my dinner!” Luke considered his new skill with glee. The goats had been trying to hide recently. Now… now he could force them out into the open.

  “Goats! I. Am. Hungry!”

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  “Goat Call! Baa!” Luke ordered his skill to activate, and a strange bleating tore out of his mouth and resounded through the air. It didn’t take long before a couple of goats started running toward him, clear confusion in their annoying square eyes. Right now, Luke was after food, so he decided not to use Cookie to turn them into inedible paste. He set her down and took a step forward, driving a fist down as the goat passed.

  *Splat*.

  For an instant, there was a shimmer over Luke’s hands that formed two curled goat horns. The horns started in front of his knuckles and curled back and over his wrist. As soon as his attack ended, so did the shimmering blue horns. Luke looked down at the demolished goat and frowned.

  Damage dealt: 110 blunt damage. No Exp gained.

  “How much health does a goat have?” Luke asked the air, getting only silence in reply. When the next goat jumped at him, he swatted it with his left hand much more gently. No horns this time, and Luke’s actual fist hit the goat.

  Damage dealt: 88 blunt damage. No Exp gained.

  “Huh.” He hit the next goat as hard as he possibly could, his fist meeting the charge directly. The goat detonated into gore and bone fragments.

  Damage dealt: 315 blunt damage. Critical hit! (current maximum damage achieved!) No Exp gained.

  That last hit had contained everything Luke could muster, and he was panting after putting that much force into it. He thought over it for a while as he went to the top of the Zone and sat amongst the bones that he had collected. “Absorb goat horns.”

  Fully Geared activated. Target: horns of Battering Ram. Absorbing… 1/500 in progress. 500 total needed. Time until completion: 4:59:59.

  “I hate that I need to reabsorb them if I want them on my other hand.” Luke sat amongst the disintegrating horns and thought about the changes in his body. He had always thought that it was using Cookie that killed everything in a single hit, and she was definitely deadly… but part of it was definitely his own power. Using only about a third of his strength with Cookie, he could reduce goats to a splatter. He wasn’t sure how to feel about the fact that he could achieve the same effect by putting everything he had into a punch, but he was happy to know that using Cookie was the superior option.

  While he sat there contemplating, he used Goat Call every once in a while. The goats tried to run away when they got close to him, but the compulsion drew them in. To get food, he took them and gently snapped their necks, building up a pile of meat. Five hours passed as he sat there in silent thought.

  Battering Ram Horn (x500) have finished being absorbed by skill ‘Fully Geared’. You are now able to slot the Ram Horn as a fist weapon for either right or left hand slot.

  “Left.” The skill bound onto his left hand, and he punched twice. As his hands shot out, blue energy horns appeared over each hand for a bare instant. “Neat. Good to have a backup for when Cookie needs a rest.”

  Luke got to his feet and jogged down to the guardian area. Dozens and dozens of guardians stood at the edge of the Zone, and he remembered that twelve hours hadn't yet passed since his last fight here. “Isn’t there supposed to be different types of you based on the location? Monkeys as far as the eye can see… or does it change further into the Zone? Is that what it means?”

  Mana: 142/190. (38 mana (20% total) reserved by right and
left fist weapon)

  He activated Bum Rush. Luke’s legs tensed, mana flowed into them, and he shot forward. He crossed the final one hundred feet in that single flash of motion, and joined combat with a roar, slamming Cookie through three stone heads before she started to lose momentum and he came to a halt. Their bodies crumbled, and he laughed at the rush he felt from traveling so fast. “Once per minute? That’s fine by me!”

  Luke lashed out with Cookie one-handed, backhanding an ape that tried to jump on him as the weapon passed.

  Damage dealt: 91 blunt damage. (Physical damage reduction detected.)

  The ape was reduced to powder, only leaving behind its metal claws and a pearl. That seemed to happen about ten percent of the time; usually, the claws also vanished into the ground. Luke was looking forward to absorbing these items and seeing how he could use them going forward, but that was a thought for later.

  Now that Luke had realized that he could use his hands to attack without damaging himself, he was having an easier time fending off the onslaught of these huge creatures. In a real way, he had been intimidated by them at first. Going from fighting shin-high goats to fighting eight-foot-tall stone apes was quite the shift. It was only as he battled them that he realized their size was actually a disadvantage for them.

  There was a large surface area that he could land a hit on, and they could only attack with a small amount of that: claws, teeth, and so on. Similar to a human, Luke supposed. While he was enjoying himself, injuries were starting to appear again as the sheer numbers began to overwhelm him. His armor was tattered, and he hadn't taken the time to fix it up before leaping into the fray.

  With a wild swing of Cookie, Luke cleared the area around him and activated Bum Rush to bring himself out of the Zone. He slowed down gracefully, likely on account of his Innate Balance, and glanced back at the throngs of apes standing patiently at the edge of the Zone. “So creepy.”