Right Move--A Gay Cowboy Romance

by A. M. Arthur

  The grill was a harder decision. His own diet consisted of mostly chicken and fish, and while they had some barbecue chicken breasts that looked delicious, George chose this rare opportunity to indulge in the ribs. He asked for two, and Arthur gave him three. Levi got ribs and a sausage.

  They ended up eating with Robin, Shawn, Reyes and Miles, and George was thankful for the familiar faces. He wouldn’t have minded eating with the Briggs-King family again, but they had a whole week to spend with the pair, and Levi seemed happy to share the meal with his best friend. Shawn showed off pictures of their house to anyone who’d look at them, and that familiar pang of jealousy shot through George at how happy and in love Shawn and Robin were.

  I want that. I really do.

  First, he had to trust enough to let another person in.

  The food was, as promised, amazing, and George was thankful for the extra rib. The sauce was tangy with just a hint of spice. Even though anyone could go back for seconds or thirds, he limited himself so he didn’t end up with a stomachache later. The fresh fruit tasted boring after all that delicious meat.

  “What do you think of the ranch so far?” Miles asked George.

  “It’s amazing.” George forked a piece of sliced strawberry but didn’t eat it. “I feel at peace here. Like it’s this entire planet separate from the rest of the world.”

  “I know the feeling. I remember thinking the same thing the first time I came here on vacation. Like nothing in my past mattered. I could just exist for a while and be me.”

  “Yeah, except I’m still figuring out who me is.” He glanced across the picnic table at Miles, whose compassionate smile spoke a thousand words in his silence. No one else at the table seemed to be listening to them, thank God, so he risked adding, “Nature seems like a great place for people to find themselves.”

  “It is. I can’t imagine what my life would be like right now if I hadn’t come on vacation with Wes that week. All I know is that it would a lot more dreary. Less filled with life, color and love.”

  I want those things.

  “Do you think you’d ever leave the city?” Miles asked when George didn’t speak.

  “I don’t know. My brother and grandparents are there. I can take my job wherever I go but I can’t imagine leaving my brother. We’ve been so close for so long, especially after our parents...it wasn’t pretty.”

  “I kind of envy you your brother. I’m an only child and I haven’t spoken to my parents in years. I was always a prop for them, a way to boost their social status and careers.”

  Long ago speeches about George’s skating abilities, the need to practice over all else, and the drive to be the best filtered through his memory like a bad smell. “I can empathize with those kinds of parents, believe me. Nothing I did was ever good enough. No title, no medal. It was always about the Olympics.”

  George’s gut churned as he realized what he’d said. Miles didn’t press, though, simply looked thoughtful.

  “It’s funny how so many of us have a similar story,” Miles eventually said. “Disappointed parents, I mean. But we all found family here at the ranch. And I have a feeling you’ve been adopted into it, George, whether you want to be or not.”

  “Guess I’ll have to get used to it, then.” George loved the idea of having friends and family here. More people who gave a damn about him and Orry than just their grandparents and neighbors.

  Arthur chose that moment to stand on a chair and say, “While y’all continue to eat, and please do continue because we’ve got plenty, I want to tell y’all a story.”

  Everyone at the table except for Levi and George began to chuckle. They obviously knew what Arthur was about to say and it was likely another semirehearsed speech to intrigue the guests. He spoke about thieves being chased by Pinkertons and how they possibly left a treasure trove of gold out in the wild lands surrounding Garrett, but the family never found it because of the ghost protecting its location.

  Arthur spoke with such earnestness that George believed the old man believed his own ghost story, and it was incredibly charming. Arthur ended the story with an admonishment to explore the land but to stay on the marked trails for their own safety. No issue there. The closest things to wild animals George had seen in his life were pigeons and squirrels. He did not want to risk running across a skunk. Or worse.

  Once Arthur’s speech ended, Ernie brought out a guitar and began playing the old-time song “Oh Susannah!” A few folks clapped along. Others went for more food. George was full and a little peopled out at this point but he wasn’t sure how to excuse himself when the atmosphere was so bright and joyful.

  Levi’s elbow pressed into his ribs. “You want to take a walk? Enjoy the quiet night?”

  “Please,” George replied.

  “Come on.”

  They left their plates on the table—George didn’t see a bus bin and assumed someone would come around later to clean up—and followed Levi toward the rear of the house. Toward the row of cabins where the hands lived. They didn’t stop there, though, just kept walking past the last cabin, away from the light of the torches and into nature and her dimmer skies.

  “When I first came here to visit,” Levi said, “I stayed in Robin’s cabin, because he was pretty much living in Shawn’s. I got up every morning to run around the land. I know where we’ll be safe.”

  A tiny fist of worry loosened around George’s heart. “Cool. I just...today has been so fun, but...”

  “It’s okay. You’re not used to bein’ around this many people for so long, I get it. How about we come up with a safe word for this week?”

  “A safe word?”

  Levi squeezed his elbow and George stopped walking. Shadows from the moon’s silver light made the planes of Levi’s even sharper. Almost more handsome. “If you feel overwhelmed during a social situation, it’s something you can say that will tell me that, so I can get you out of it. I’m getting to know you pretty well but I don’t ever want to assume.”

  That made sense. “Okay. What should it be?”

  “Something innocuous. How about ‘Did you hear that?’”

  “That sounds good. I was pretty close to a ‘Did you hear that?’ moment at the end of dinner there.”

  “I assumed as much, which is why I asked to take a walk.” Levi’s hand hovered near George’s cheek, as if he wanted to touch. Or brush hair away. George wasn’t sure but he did welcome the touch. He wanted the touch.

  So he leaned into it. Warm fingers brushed his skin, featherlight, but George felt it in his bones. He was on a moonlit walk with a handsome man, and George yearned for more. He glanced at Levi’s lips, then parted his own. Levi’s palm cupped George’s left cheek and he took a step closer. George swore he felt Levi’s body heat all over, despite them only touching in one spot.

  The moment stretched out for an eternity, neither of them moving. Holding eye contact. Levi seemed at war with himself, and George saw the moment he made a decision. Those beautiful blue eyes softened. Levi leaned in closer. “I don’t want to screw this up,” he whispered.

  “You can’t,” George rasped, unsure when he’d gotten short of breath. “Please. I want it to be you.”

  Levi let out a soft moan. “Your first kiss?”

  “Yes.”

  Warm breath gusted across George lips and he waited for the gentle pressure of—an abrupt blast of music from Levi’s pocket startled them both apart. George’s heart kicked up and he nearly fell over from the shock of the noise.

  “Damn it, Robin.” Levi pulled his phone out and glared at it.

  With the spell broken and the moment over, George said. “Answer it. It’s fine.”

  Levi hesitated then answered. “Hey, what?”

  In the quiet of the night, George could clearly hear Robin say, “Hey, man, are you going to chill at the guesthouse and play checkers like an old man,
or do you wanna come to our cabin and watch a movie? George, too, if he wants.”

  “You go,” George said before Levi could. “I’m going to head back to the room and read.”

  “Are you sure?” Levi asked, probably more to be polite than anything.

  “Definitely.”

  “Copy all that,” Robin said. “I’m helping with some of the cleanup. See you around eight.”

  “Okay. Eight.” He hung up and let out a deep sigh.

  “It’s okay,” George said, even though it wasn’t. He wasn’t okay and needed to be alone. “Just walk me back, please? I have no idea where I am.”

  Levi watched him for a few moments but George couldn’t bring himself to meet the older man’s eyes. He waited, hands in his pockets so Levi couldn’t see them shaking, until Levi silently turned and started walking.

  Chapter Eleven

  Levi paced around cabin row while he waited for Robin and Shawn, unsettled by what had happened on the trail with George, and unsure what to do about it. He’d wanted to kiss George like crazy and he still did. His palm was still warm from touching George’s face. When George had looked at him with those wide, begging eyes, Levi hadn’t been able to say no.

  He wasn’t sure if Robin’s call had been fortuitous or the worst timing ever, because Levi had never been anyone’s first kiss before. It had been a perfectly romantic moment with the moon out and the stars twinkling overhead. They were the only two people who existed in the whole world. Levi had never felt so alive, so seen, as in that moment.

  It had also scared the crap out of him.

  George seemed delicate on the outside but he had a core of steel. Levi simply wasn’t sure he was the person George really wanted. Levi was the guy who was available.

  Trust him to know his own mind.

  Xander’s voice sometimes peeked out as his conscience, and it did again tonight. Back when Xander and Robin first got together and were hot and heavy, Levi had cautioned his little brother about getting involved with a coworker. Getting involved with someone he’d known for a day. Xander had told Levi to trust Xander knew his own mind. That Robin was who he wanted. And they’d been happy for eight amazing years.

  “He’s so young, Xan.” Levi stared up at the stars and imagined one of them was his brother, smiling down at him. “I’m scared of screwing this up.”

  “Talking to yourself now?” Robin asked. “Maybe you need to go meditate more.”

  Levi pivoted. Robin and Shawn were walking in his direction, hand in hand, goopy smiles on their faces. “I probably do. Um, you mind if I bend your ear about something before we go in?”

  “You guys talk,” Shawn said. “This just means I get to go inside and pick the movie.”

  “Nothing with a sad ending,” Robin replied, adding a pinch to Shawn’s ass. “This feels like a serious conversation.”

  “I’ll look for a comedy.”

  As soon as Shawn was inside the cabin, Levi walked to the porch and sat on the built-in bench that each cabin had. Robin plunked down beside him with a curious head tilt. “Okay, what’s wrong?”

  “I almost kissed George tonight.”

  “Almost? What stopped you?”

  “Your phone call.”

  “Oh shit, sorry.” Robin made an exaggerated grimace. “Didn’t mean to cockblock you, man.”

  “It definitely would not have gone that far, trust me. I just...we were walking and it was peaceful, and the moon was up, and the way he looked at me... I’ve never felt so seen in my entire life, Robin. Not by anyone.”

  “Not even Grant?”

  “Definitely not by Grant. There were so many things about him I never saw, because I wanted to give everyone the benefit of the doubt back then. He definitely taught me to be cautious again.” Levi had admitted to his relationship with Grant a few months ago when he and Robin were out on a horse ride together. The fabulous mistake he’d made in falling for Grant and the horrible way Grant had betrayed him.

  “Hey, sorry to bring that asshole up,” Robin said.

  “It’s okay, he’s a relevant part of my past. George is completely unlike him in every way, and I have no reason to think he would do what Grant did. George is young and vulnerable, and all I want to do is protect him. But he’s so innocent.”

  “How innocent?”

  “Tonight would have been his first kiss, innocent.”

  “Damn. Maybe my phone call was a good thing, then. Instead of in the heat of the moonlit moment, you can talk and make sure it’s really what George wants.”

  “He asked me to kiss him. But again, I can’t decide if it’s because he wants me or if I’m just convenient. Which is why we need to talk.”

  “Exactly. I mean, a vacation fling worked out real well for Wes and Mack a few years ago, but you and George are completely different people. In different places in your lives. But I know you, Levi. I know you’ll do the right thing by George.”

  “I hope you’re right.” The last thing Levi wanted to do was ruin his friendship with George. Or worse, break his already fragile heart.

  * * *

  George had probably reread the same three paragraphs in his book at least two dozen times, and he still had no idea what he’d read. He put his phone down and walked to the big window. Moonlight cast a beautiful silver sheen on the vast land in his view in a way that was almost haunting. Gorgeous. He longed for a way to properly photograph its magic so he could share it with Orry.

  “I need your advice, big brother,” he whispered to the sky. “But I’m scared to tell you, and I don’t know why.” Orry wouldn’t care that George was gay, so why was he able to tell Levi and not his own twin?

  He’d wanted Levi to kiss him tonight. Wanted the man to be his first kiss. The entire moment had been pulled out of a romantic movie and made real. George had felt truly seen by another person for the first time in his adult life, and he didn’t want to lose that. But maybe preserving their friendship and forgetting the kissing stuff was a better idea.

  Someone knocked, startling George into spinning around and tripping over his own ankles. He grabbed the windowsill to steady himself so he didn’t fall on his ass. “Who is it?”

  “It’s Levi.”

  He’d come back instead of staying to watch a movie with his friends? “I didn’t lock it.”

  The knob turned and Levi slipped into the room, a sheepish smile on his face.

  “You don’t have to knock,” George said. “It’s your room, too.”

  “I know, I just didn’t want to barge in and scare you.”

  A little late for that but the sentiment was sweet. “How come you didn’t stay to watch a movie?”

  “I’d much rather talk to you about our walk earlier.”

  His stomach dipped, and George used the excuse of sitting on his bed to curl his now-trembling fingers into a ball on his lap. Levi sat on his own bunk, his expression so open and kind that some of George’s fear of this conversation dimmed to a less disruptive level. When Levi didn’t speak, George drummed up his own courage to start. “I meant what I said about wanting you to be my first kiss.”

  “I believe you. I wanted to kiss you, George. Still want to kiss you. But that also scares me a little and for a few different reasons.”

  Levi was scared? The man road horses sideways for a living, and he was scared of a kiss. That seemed impossible but this wasn’t George’s truth. It was Levi’s. “What scares you?”

  “How young and inexperienced you are. That I’m way more experienced than I’m comfortable telling you until we know each other a lot better.”

  “I may be sexually inexperienced, Levi, but I’m not oblivious to how sex works or how infinitely unique it is depending on the participants. In the last seven years, I’ve probably watched more porn than you have in your entire life.” Shit. He hadn’t meant to say that and his face w
ent hot.

  Levi quirked a single eyebrow. “That sounds like a challenge, Thompson.”

  “It’s the truth.” Might as well explain himself so Levi didn’t think he was some sort of horny homebody who whacked off for hours a day. “It’s my job. Not porn, but that’s what I write captions for. Porn sites.”

  The other eyebrow joined the first briefly before settling. “I have to admit, I would have never guessed that you captioned porn, but deaf people should able to enjoy it too, right?”

  “Right.” George eyeballed Levi, surprised by his calm reaction—and he really shouldn’t have been. Levi didn’t seem like the type of person who was quick to anger or judgment. “I’ve seen some pretty hardcore stuff, and maybe I’ve never done any of that stuff, but I know it exists. And since you’re probably wondering and are too polite to ask, no, I don’t sit around all day with a boner. It doesn’t affect me much at all, even the gay stuff. I can compartmentalize sex from work.”

  “Okay. Thank you, George. I hear and accept your truth.”

  “Um, thanks. I’ve also got life experience. Maybe I’ve spent the better part of a decade locked away from other people, but I went through stuff when I was a teenager. Stuff that sticks with you.”

  “I know you did. I don’t want to play a comparison game about our pasts. We both have darkness. Things that I hope, even if this thing between us never goes beyond a kiss, we can share with each other one day as really good friends.”

  George’s heart gave a funny lurch at the idea of things not moving further than a kiss. He trusted Levi, was attracted to him, and wanted to explore those feelings. Badly. He stood. “Does that mean we’re going to kiss?”

  Levi bit his lower lip in a way that was both sexy and shy. “You still want to tonight? We sort of lost our perfect romantic moment in the woods.”