Since Savvy.
“Have you ever been with a woman besides your wife?” she asks, her fingers threading through my hair, reading my mind.
I shake my head. “I told you, we met when we were so young. Got married as teenagers. Spent our twenties having kids — so many kids. Perfect and crazy and beautiful just like her. Then she got sick. Fought cancer for five years. She… she fought a good fight. But in the end…”
“Oh, Tanner,” Virginia says, pulling me to her. Her legs wrap around me, her eyes lock on mine. Tears fall down her cheeks and they roll down mine. I told her the truth and it drew her near, and I want to hold her close forever.
“I didn’t mean to say all that,” I say in ragged breaths.
“Our minds and hearts don’t always agree.”
I kiss her then, hard and long and with a promise we are both just beginning to understand. Her body is warm and reaches out to me. She leads me to her wet and willing pussy, she takes me inside of her, and I hold her close and we move together, the only sound our beating hearts, saltwater tears spilled and the crash of two bodies becoming one.
“Oh, Tanner,” she pants, her body moving in motion with mine. “Ohh…”
It’s different than with Savannah. She was loud and wild. A fighter. A blast and a blaze. Savvy was fire.
Virginia is water. Intuitive and sensitive. Like a river, she runs deep. A different element altogether, and it’s the one I need. Her body opens to me, my cock fills her tight cunt, and it pulses deep. Together.
She gasps as I move deep inside her, and she clings to me as we find a rhythm that before tonight, I never fucking expected to find.
In this valley, this farmhouse, this room, I found Virginia.
And I’m not letting this girl go.
Chapter Eight
Virginia
Tanner moves against me, making my body pulse with a heat I’ve never known. He is so big inside of me, making me feel so absolutely full. Fulfilled. I don’t want it to end, his body against mine.
We rock together, and he rolls me over, so I lie over him. My hips move, my hands on his chest. He palms my breasts and my hair falls onto his face. He pulls me to him, kissing me again, as my core pulses hot. Hot. Hot. I’m so close, my body whimpers — I’m nearly undone and I want it to last forever.
“I’m coming, Tanner,” I moan, tightening and holding still. The wave of toe-curling pleasure washing over me, and I can’t stop this current. It sweeps me away.
I collapse against him, as he holds me close, his cock pleasuring me as he comes hard inside of me. His breath is ragged, and it makes my pussy drip with desire. He feels so good inside me, I don’t want him to move. Not an inch.
He knows.
Arms wrap around me, keeping me close, and I press my cheek to his chest, listening to his heart, to the pounding of his four chambers as he steadies himself.
“That was magic, Virginia.”
And it was.
It was two lost ships finding a safe harbor in one another’s arms.
With his arms holding me tightly, I close my eyes, and he starts to sing. Softly. So, so softly. He sings me to sleep.
She was water. A river running deep.
She opened up to me, tears etched in broken memories.
She gave herself to me, without a guarantee.
She was water. A river running deep.
* * *
When I wake, sunlight filters through the curtains and the bed is empty. My tear-stained cheeks are dry, and a smile covers my face.
I rise, remembering the way his body felt against mine. Perfection. In the shower, I wash myself, the words we shared last night memorized.
That was magic.
It was.
Now I dress quickly, wanting to get a hot breakfast going for Tanner and his family. I pull on jeans and a sweater, swiping mascara across my eyelashes and braiding my still-wet hair. Then I move to the kitchen, where I already hear a room full of people talking, smell coffee already brewing, and enter. All eyes are on me.
For a brief second, a jolt of fear sweeps through me. Do Tanner’s children know that last night…? No. I realize in a moment that the secret is ours. The kids turn, but it is to tell me that their dad is making pancakes. And indeed, I turn toward the kitchen island and see Tanner whisking together flour, water, eggs.
He gives me an easy smile, one that gives nothing away, and he asks how I take my coffee.
“Just cream, thanks,” I say as Willa moves to my coffee pot and pours it for me. “Well gosh, thanks,” I say. “I didn’t realize you were such early risers.”
“We’ve always been early to bed, early to rise,” Levi says. “Mom always wanted to get school out of the way, so we could spend the rest of the day doing our own things.”
I notice then that there are workbooks on the table and several laptops opened to an online school program.
“And what’s your thing?” I ask Tanner’s oldest son.
He has the same sheepish grin as his father. “I play the guitar, like my dad.”
“Oh, that’s great,” I say taking a sip of the rich coffee. I pull out the electric griddle and turn it on as Tanner finishes blending the batter. “What about you, Faith?”
She gives me a sour look. “Definitely not spending the winter in the middle of nowhere.”
I suppress a smile. She may be an adult, but she has some definite teenage angst. “I know a lot of high schoolers hang out in Eagle Crest,” I tell her. “It’s only ten minutes from here, but there are a few strip malls and a coffee shop that is open late. Maybe you could hang out there if it gets boring at the house.”
She shrugs, feigning nonchalance, but I see her give her dad a look. “See,” he says. “It’s not going to be the worst Christmas of your life.”
“I suppose we will be back in Nashville soon enough,” she grumbles. Then she thumbs through Clover’s workbook, helping her sister.
As I take over making the pancakes, Tanner gives my arm a squeeze. But I know he makes sure none of his kids see. He returns to his kids and their schoolwork and I flip the flapjacks, my stomach flip-flopping too.
I showered this morning thinking about Tanner, about picking up where we left off last night. But I can see now how idiotic that notion was. Of course, this isn’t like any other relationship — Tanner is a widower. His kids lost their mom only a year ago. We may have whispered intimate words last night, shared pieces of ourselves… but I can’t quite see how we go beyond that without destroying his family’s already fragile ecosystem.
“Can I help?” Lily asks, jarring me out of my thoughts.
“Of course,” I say, handing her the spatula. “Just wait until a pancake is covered in popped bubbles, then flip it.” She gives it a successful try. “Perfect,” I tell her.
“My mom made the best pancakes,” Lily says. “But Dad always burns them.”
“A good thing we’ve got you on the griddle this morning,” I say with a laugh. I turn to grab the syrup and butter as she handles the pancakes, and I try to think how this might play out.
There is no way this is going to go down well.
As Lily and I dish up plates for her family, I tell myself last night was a one-off; a one-night stand, a fling. I tell myself that Tanner may seem like the complete package, but that is only my broken heart talking.
Truth is, this man didn’t come to the mountain looking for a wife. He came to escape getting over his last one.
I am a fling, plain and simple.
Chapter Nine
Tanner
After our night together, Virginia pulls back.
Hard and fast.
It doesn’t help that the kids need my unending attention. Once they spent twenty-four hours in the mountain air, they were recharged and were ready to play hard. Every day I’m taking them sledding, inner tubing, and ice skating. One morning, we get up early to go skiing and by the time we make it home, it’s dark. The days blur by, and every time I ask Virginia t
o join us, she shakes her head, claiming chores, errands, things around the house.
“We can pitch in and do the work together,” I suggest. “Then we can go play in the snow together.”
But she declines every invitation. Faith is the only other person in the house avoiding me. When we drove into town she seemed at least willing to try to make this time here work, but now she seems to be retreating more and more each day. At least she’s gone to Eagle Crest a few times, like Virginia suggested, to get coffee and walk around. I know she isn’t happy, and it kills me knowing I can’t give my daughter everything she wants.
Still, it’s Virginia I slept with. Virginia who I gave my body and heart to. I need to make sure she is okay.
“Can we talk?” I ask Virginia after dinner one night. The kids are showering and cleaning their rooms. “You’ve pulled further away ever since the first night I was here. Did I do something?”
“You didn’t do a thing, Tanner,” she says. “I mean it. I just don’t see how this could end well.”
“Why does it have to end?” I ask just as Clover and Cash bound into the room requesting I play Risk with them.
Virginia smiles softly. “See, you’ll be up all night with that game and those kids. As it should be.”
“You want to play too?” Cash asks.
Virginia shakes her head. “Thanks, but I’m going up to my friend Josie’s place tonight. She’s hosting a gingerbread party this weekend and I promised to help her make up the gingerbread.”
“Right, no worries,” I say, trying to get a read on her.
She leaves for the front door, pulling on her coat, and I tell the kids I’ll be right back. I follow her outside, the snow packed, and the driveway cleared thanks to Levi’s efforts this week.
“Wait, Virginia,” I call out. She turns to me, looking so damn beautiful in the moonlight. It casts a perfect glow about her. “Hey,” I say reaching her. “I miss you.”
“Miss me?” Her eyebrows raise as if she’s surprised. How could she be after our night together?
“Yeah, like crazy. Look, I know we moved fast the other night, and that my kids are a lot to handle, but —”
“You aren’t in place for another woman, Tanner. You lost Savvy not that long ago and…”
“It’s been a year. But beyond, how is time relevant?”
“Because your kids miss their mother and —”
“They will always miss her.”
“And so will you.”
“That’s true. But you’re not Savvy.”
“I know.” She presses a finger to her forehead. “I’m twenty-three. You need a woman who is more than I will ever be. When you were eighteen you were married, a father. When I was eighteen I was…”
“You were what?” I ask, needing to understand her.
“Tanner, I may seem sweet now, but there was a lot in my past that wasn’t all sugar.”
“What was there then?” I ask. “I know you’ve been through some heartache, that you were with a man who was no good for you, but I want to know why you’re so scared?”
“It wasn’t just heartache. I grew up in a motorcycle gang, Tanner.”
My eyebrows furrow. “A what?”
“I know, it sounds like a movie, but my brother Bear, and I got caught up in it when we were teenagers and I was basically Ricky’s… well, I was whatever he wanted me to be. Mostly, I was his property.”
If she’s trying to shock me, it works. “Fuck, Virginia. You just put it out there like that, I mean, it’s a lot. Hell.” I shake my head, hating what she’s been through.
“Exactly. I’m not wife material. You know how we escaped the gang?”
I move closer to her, hating the distance, the shield she’s put up around herself. “Tell me.”
“Because I had enough… and so I shot Ricky. He’s in prison now, but we were on the run for a while, and somehow ended up here. But even if this mountain is built on miracles -- I’m not going to get one. I’m damaged goods at best, Tanner.”
“Don’t do this.”
“What?”
“Pretend.”
“I’m not pretending, Tanner. That’s the harsh truth of my story. My heart was broken for a different reason than yours was. Mine was bitter, yours was beautiful.”
“The other night, you were so soft,” I say, stepping closer to her. “Now you’re being so hard on yourself, and on us.”
She blinks fast, and I know there are tears in her eyes. “It’s not pretending,” she whispers. “It’s protecting.”
“I’m not going to break your heart.”
“How do you know?”
I pull her to me then and kiss her deeply. I kiss her knowing I won’t let her down, won’t let her run away. Won’t let her say no when all she wants is yes.
I will fight for Virginia.
Her lips part, her mouth mine. And she whimpers, ever so softly. Remembering. Knowing. Wanting.
“Are you kidding me?” Faith’s voice slices through the night air.
Dammit, I was scared this might happen. And while I’m not ashamed of what I feel for Virginia, I didn’t want my daughter to find out this way.
Virginia and I pull apart, an understanding look in her eyes. “Go to her,” she says.
And I do. “Faith,” I call out as she stomps into the house, slamming the door. “Wait,” I say, following her inside.
I hear Virginia’s car start and pull away.
Defeated, I step inside. Faith is yelling at me, telling me she’s going to bed and not to talk to her. At all.
I watch my baby girl disappear up the stairs, knowing there is nothing I can say right now to make her feel any better. Yes, I kissed Virginia. Yes, I want to do it again. Yes, I know it feels personal. But it’s all fucking personal. It’s life and it’s hard and it’s only gonna get harder.
Still, I knock on her door. “Faith?”
She tells me to go away.
I turn the knob, it’s locked. I drop my forehead to it, wishing I had the answers, a way to pull my little girl into my arms and make sure she knows I’ll always be here for her. “Listen, sweetheart,” I say through the hardwood door. “I love you. I know you are hurting, and that seeing that kiss must have shocked you -- but this is life, this is family. We can’t retreat when things are hard, that is the time we need to lean in closer. To hold on tight. To never let go.”
She doesn’t answer, but I know she hears me. Saying a silent prayer for her peace of mind, I walk downstairs to see what the other kids are up to.
“Dad?” Cash calls. “We set up the game. And Lily and Willa want to play too.”
I run a hand over my beard, wondering how the hell can I bear to lose any more. But knowing right now, tonight, I haven’t lost it all. I have children who are healthy, needing me to love them and guide them and be there for them. Raise them the way they should be.
Upstairs, I know Faith is hurting like hell, and it kills me. But I remember the words I whispered to Virginia only a few nights ago. Isn’t the pain, the times we’ve bled, also the times we learned just how damn strong we are?”
My girl, Faith, is going to be okay. She just doesn’t know it yet. But time will tell, just like time will heal.
I smile, thinking that could be a song lyric too.
Chapter Ten
Virginia
After the kiss, I go straight to Josie’s. The moment I step inside her perfectly appointed farmhouse that her husband Beau renovated, she instantly knows something is wrong.
“What happened?” she asks, pulling me into her kitchen. The house is quiet, the kids have all gone to bed. Beau comes in to grab a beer from the fridge, gives Josie’s pregnant belly a pat, and asks how my first rental guests are settling in.
“Fine, but…”
“But what?” Josie asks as she grabs two mugs, and places tea bags in each one. She isn’t drinking, since she is five months pregnant with another set of twins, and she knows I would never drink if I was driving home
in the snow. Beau opens his beer and takes a long pull just as the kettle whistles.
“But the man who is staying has six kids.”
Josie’s eyes go wide. “Oh gosh, what mother would want to pack up her house and home over the holidays like that? With all those kids. It’s tiring just thinking about it.”
“Well, actually, Tanner’s a widower. He is raising his kids all on his own.”
I tell Josie and Beau the ages of the kids, explain how they’ve been loving the mountain, sledding, and making snowmen, and how Tanner is a really great father.
“So, why do you look so torn up?” Beau asks.
“How can you tell I’m a mess?”
Josie and Beau share a look. “Sweetie,” Josie says. “You know when you moved here, how we became friends pretty quick?”
I nod, remembering how we struck up a quick friendship over old farmhouse renovations. They had just finished their home and I contracted Beau to do a lot of the fixing up on the place Laila and I had bought to turn into a boutique hotel. A few years later, that dream has changed quite a bit, but the friendship with Josie has only strengthened.
“Of course, I remember.”
“Well, as much as you hate letting people in, your defense mechanisms didn’t work with me. I’m your best friend, like it or not. And yes, I know Laila is your old school BFF — but you and me? Our friendship started on this mountain, and there is something special that happens here when people bond.”
I bite my lip, feeling vulnerable in my friend’s presence. “It’s hard coming to terms with the fact that there are people in this world who love me as I am.”
“Oh, Ginny,” Josie says, giving me hug. “You are just so hard on yourself.”
I wipe my eyes, not having even realized I’d started crying.
Beau sets down his beer and gives me a hard look. “Did you and Tanner, you know…”
“Beau!” Josie swats him in the arm. Then she looks at me. “Well, did you?”
RAISED: The Mountain Man’s Babies Page 4
