My silence answers the question and Beau gives me an easy smile. “Ginny,” he says. “You’re getting in deep.”
Wanting to avoid this conversation, I try to ask Beau what he’s been doing.
“Well, some creeper moved in on Dead Man’s Ridge. A guy named Red, you see him yet?”
I shake my head. “No, I haven’t but I’ve been occupied.”
“Well that’s good, if you hear anything, let me know. He’s a drunk, and a mean one, by the sound of it.”
“Gosh, that’s awful. The mountain usually feels so safe.”
“It will be. We’ll keep looking out for one another. But I must say, I’m glad to hear you’re not alone in your place right now.”
My eyes go wide. “This Red guy that dangerous?”
“Not sure, but it’s not the time of year to take chances. The snow is falling hard, and if you needed help, it might take some time getting it.”
“Gosh, Beau, don’t freak her out.” Josie scowls.
Beau kisses his wife on the cheek. “Just looking out for our family, that’s all.”
I thank Beau for looking out for me and promise to let him know if I hear anything. After Beau heads back to the television, Josie crosses her arms, thinking. “You should invite him over tomorrow,” she suggests.
“Who? Tanner?”
“Yes, Tanner,” she laughs. “Virginia, you act like you aren’t good enough for a man like him, but what are you using to measure good enough?”
I swallow. “Easy for you to say. Forest is the best-behaved little boy on this mountain and your twins are the cutest preschoolers around. You have a college degree in finance; you’re doing all the bookkeeping for Jax and Wilder’s business. Meanwhile I never even finished high school.”
“Do you want to?”
“I don’t know.” I groan. “I just know I hate setting myself up to get let down.”
“You’re so scared of falling again, Ginny. But you walk around with clipped wings. Maybe it’s time you grow them out and learn to fly.”
“How am I supposed to do that?”
Josie smiles. “Take a chance. A risk. Invite Tanner and his kids over tomorrow to make gingerbread houses.”
“Speaking of,” I say, looking around at her kitchen counters, where the ingredients for the gingerbread sit waiting for us to start mixing batter. “We should get to work if you want your party to happen tomorrow.”
“The party you’re bringing Tanner and his kids to?”
I twist my lips. “Josie… his oldest daughter caught us kissing before I came over.”
“So, what?” she asks. “That is life, the growing up process. It’s not the worst thing to have a father who wants to hold a woman in his arms. Don’t let it make you feel ashamed.” She takes hold of my hands, speaking firmly. “Take a chance on yourself.”
* * *
I wake the next morning feeling anxious. Faith finding me kissing her father wasn’t a scenario I wanted to play out — it was the very reason I had avoided Tanner the last several days. He’s in no position to get involved with me. A hook-up is not going to end well when he has so many kids — kids who are living in my house.
Even if his words are so sweet, so tender — words aren’t enough.
But Josie’s words still ring in my ear. Take a chance on yourself.
Tanner won’t be here forever, but I can’t use that as an excuse to reject the very thing I want. Him.
I make a point of getting to the kitchen extra early, before the rest of the household. I get to work quickly, making a batch of scones, frying up bacon, making scrambled eggs. I’m slicing a cantaloupe when the kids start piling in. Tanner follows shortly after, and I pour him a cup of coffee, the way he likes it.
“I love bacon,” Levi groans as he grabs a slice from the platter. I smile as I set strawberry jam on the counter, next to the scones, and the kids begin helping themselves.
“Make sure there’s some for the everyone,” Tanner says, helping Cash get a serving of eggs.
“Where’s Faith?” Lily asks, carrying her plate to the table. She reaches for a glass and pours herself some orange juice, before asking her siblings if they’d like some.
“She’s still sleeping,” Levi offers as he slides into a chair. A pile of bacon on his plate. Tanner grabs a slice of bacon from it and takes a bite. Levi groans at his dad.
Tanner just laughs. “Portion control, son.”
“Faith’s so lucky she’s done with high school,” Clover whines. “I’m sick of school work, I just want to play all day.”
“You know,” I pipe up, steeling my courage. “My friend Josie is hosting a gingerbread-making party today. Would you like to come, Clover, with Cash and your Dad?”
I realize after the words are out of my mouth that I should have talked to Tanner first, but it’s too late.
Tanner, though, doesn’t seem to mind that I didn’t keep him in the loop. “That sounds fun. You sure we’re invited?”
“I’m totally sure,” I say, my eyes reaching his. Every time I look at him a flutter of anticipation washes over me. No matter how I try to curb my feelings — it’s impossible to deny what is real.
“Will there be other kids there?” Cash asks.
“Yep,” I tell him. “Lots. There is one thing this mountain has plenty of, and that is children.”
Tanner’s eyes narrow, not understanding. “What do you mean?” he asks.
I shrug. “People call this place miracle mountain. I promise, when you get to Josie’s, you’ll understand why.”
Chapter Eleven
Tanner
The moment we pull up to the house I realize the Christmas party is going to be slightly insane. “Uh, how many people are going to be here?”
“I think Honor and Rosie are coming. Maybe Harper too, but I’m not sure.”
I turn off the ignition. “It looks like way more than four or five families.” The yard is filled with a few dozen kids.
“Everyone here has big families. Really big families. You’ll fit right in.”
Cash and Clover are ecstatic — the kids are in the middle of an epic snowball fight. They are climbing a swing set, using hay bales as barricades, and shrieking with excitement. It’s been a hot minute since they’ve played with kids besides their siblings and I know they are pumped.
A group of men comes over to introduce themselves. Beau, Jaxon, Hawk, and Buck. All buddies, men who live and work on this mountain, running a construction business.
“The ladies are inside with the younger ones,” Beau explains as he raises his hands in a T, calling a timeout.
“Alright, you okay out here, Tanner?” Virginia asks me with a smile.
“I’m fine, thanks.”
Clover and Cash ask if they can play, and before they run off, Jaxon and Buck call their kids over. They are about the same age as my youngest. “This is Cedar, Alder, and Spruce,” Jax introduces. “And these are my twins, Clover and Poppy.”
My Clover beams. “We have the same names!” she explains. The girls immediately bond over that.
“Come this way,” Poppy says. “We have to go around the back of the house or the boys will get us.”
“Come on, Cash,” Jax’s boys holler. “We gotta beat the girls!”
The kids run off and I feel my shoulders relax. I haven’t seen the kids have such fun with other kids their ages in a long time. A knot forms in my chest, wondering if I led them astray somehow. After Savvy died, they stopped going to their homeschool co-op, we were all just too busy hanging on. Now though as they reach for balls of snow, playing easily and making friends, I realize they have processed their mother’s death in some ways — they are moving on, stronger and more resilient.
Maybe we don’t have to run from Nashville, hide away from memories. Maybe it’s me who was having a hard time letting go of the past, not them.
“Can we get you a drink?” Beau asks. “I have a kegerator in my garage.” I follow the men to the detache
d garage and take in the view. The farmhouse is situated on a gorgeous piece of property, and the white blanket of snow makes it feel like Christmas.
Beau hands me a frothy stein of dark beer. “Ginny told me last night you’ve got six kids,” he says. “That right?”
I nod. “Yeah, my oldest girl is eighteen, the twins are the youngest at eight.”
“Hot damn,” Buck whistles. “You’re in good company, Tanner. The folks who live here on the mountain know a thing or two about large families.”
“I gather that,” I say, laughing. “Virginia said there were miracles out here, but I’ve never seen so many sets of twins”
Jaxon laughs. “And triplets.”
“How long you in town for?” Hawk asks.
“Just the holidays. We will head back to Nashville after the New Year.”
Hawk frowns. “No one leaves after they visit, just warning you.”
“Except Jonah,” Beau says. “He’s been gone since Laila got married.”
“That’s true. Poor guy. Can’t seem to find himself a bride.”
“Is that the aim once you move here?”
“Not the goal, exactly,” Buck says. “It’s just, ever since Jax built himself a cabin out here, things got weird.”
They all laugh, taking pulls of their beers. “Weird how?”
“Everyone started falling in love, having kids, having more kids. Everyone who moves here seems to drink the same water.”
“Next thing you know,” Hawk jokes. “You have a diaper bag on one arm, a baby carrier on your chest, and there is no going back to life before.”
“Would you want to?” I ask.
“Hell, no,” Beau says. “I spent time in prison. Hell, most everyone here has been dealt a blow, one way or another. It’s family that keeps us strong; family is worth fighting for.”
“I hear you on that,” I say, running a hand over my beard. “My children are my everything.”
“And Virginia?” Beau asks. “What is she?”
I lift my eyebrows. “Well, I reckon she’s worth fighting for too.”
* * *
Later, in the house, the women lead the rowdy kids in organized chaos. Josie may be hosting this gathering, but it’s clear Harper is the matriarch of this mountain, even her husband Jaxon seems to know that.
Holiday music fills the air, hot toddies are sipped, and a decked-out Christmas tree takes center stage. When Harper begins explaining to the kids that they aren’t to eat any candy until the houses are finished, she is met with a groan.
“No fussing, we don’t want to spread germs. You know what happens when one person gets sick on this mountain, it’s spread through all of our families. So, no finger licking, no eating the gingerbread, and make your mamas proud with your decorating skills.”
I meet Virginia’s eyes when Harper says that final bit. Make your mamas proud. I know she meant nothing by it, and the words don’t register with Clover or Cash, but they register with me. They register with Virginia.
Harper, though, continues. “And make your papas proud too — they’re the ones who changed your diapers when you were babies. You owe them a gingerbread house they can put on their mantels proudly.” The kids laugh at Harper’s comment and it’s obvious she was hoping to make them giggle. “Now have fun, alright?”
The kids begin frosting their roofs and placing rows of gumdrops on their doorsteps. Virginia stands next to me as we watch my twins. “What do you think of the party?”
“I think you found a nice place to call home.”
“Long way from Nashville,” she says softly.
I swallow. “It is.”
“Look,” she says, leading me from the kids who are sitting at the rows of folded tables set up in the living. We walk toward the kitchen but pause in the empty hallway. “I know I was acting weird the last few days. I told you I was scared and I am. Pretending I don’t want you is easier than giving in to what I want. But...” She bites her lip.
“What is it?” I ask, her beauty constantly catching me off guard.
“Even if this is only going to last one Christmas, I want to—”
I cut her off with a kiss. “Good,” I tell her, my hand on the small of her back. Stealing a kiss from the girl who is wrapping herself around my heart. “Because I want to, too.”
Chapter Twelve
Virginia
When we get back to the house, the twins are crashing. Hard. And they maybe ate a little too much sugar. The older kids are in the living room watching Elf and they all come into the kitchen to ooh and aww over their little brother and sister’s candy creations, and to give their dad a hug.
“Where is Faith?” Tanner asks Levi.
He shrugs. “Not sure. Someone came to pick her up, she said she’d be back by midnight.”
Tanner nods, squeezing his son’s shoulder. “Thanks for watching everyone today. Clover and Cash had a great time.”
“Of course, Dad.” Levi looks over his shoulder. “We just started the movie; do you mind if we go finish it?”
“Course not, kiddos. Have fun. But you two are going to bed, okay?” Tanner tells Clover and Cash. “It’s been an awesome day, but a long one.”
After the kids made the gingerbread houses, everyone stayed around Josie and Beau’s place, eating a crockpot full of chili and cornbread, and letting the kids run wild. Now it’s past eight o’clock at night and these two are exhausted from hours of snowball fights.
“Alright, Papa,” Clovers says through a yawn as she pulls off her snow boots. “Wasn’t it funny how there was another Clover there? I’ve never met another Clover.” She reaches for my hand, wrapping it against her own. “You have nice friends, Virginia.”
“I think so too,” I tell her. Tanner has pulled out his phone and I hear him talking to Faith, stepping away to finish the call. “I’m glad we went today. Your houses will make this place a little more festive.”
“Yeah, we need a Christmas tree,” Cash says as we move toward the stairs.
“Agreed. Maybe this weekend your dad could set one up for us and we could make decorations. Maybe buy some twinkly lights.”
Clover’s eyes light up. “Oh, pretty please! Papa packed our stockings. Maybe we could hang them on the fireplace?”
I laugh. “I think we could manage something like that.” I’ve never had a family Christmas unless you count going to Bear and Grace’s place. Which I do, of course, but it is different decorating my own house for the holidays.
We climb the stairs, Tanner and Cash ahead of us, and Cash goes to the bathroom to change and brush his teeth. Clover changes in their shared bedroom.
In the hallway, Tanner and I lean against opposite walls.
“Faith okay?” I ask him.
Tanner shakes his head. “I know she was mad about you and me… seeing us… but it’s not like her to go off like this. She says she’s not coming back all night. That she’ll be here in the morning.”
I frown. “Who is she with?”
Tanner looks defeated. “No clue. Some guy named Justin and some girls, Lisa and Jill, I think?”
“I don’t know those names.”
“She said she met them at the coffee shop. Apparently, they are at Lisa’s parents’ cabin. She says it’s dark and supposed to snow tonight and no one wants to drive in this weather. I offered to come get her, but she said no.”
“I’m sure she’ll be fine. Do you trust her?”
“She’s eighteen, what can I do? I know it’s her way of rebelling, I just want her to be safe.”
“Does she drink?”
Tanner shakes his head. “No, she isn’t reckless. Then again, I wouldn’t think she’d blow off like this either.”
“Hey,” I say, taking his hand. “You are a great father. You’ve raised her well. She’s stretching her wings, which is a good thing. You want her to learn to fly, don’t you?”
“Of course, I do.”
“Good, then just let her be. She’ll call if she needs
anything.”
“You’re right,” he says, exhaling. “Thank God you’re around. I was ready to get in the car and start knocking on every door on this mountain.”
“You’re a good dad, Tanner. But I know teenage girls. It wasn’t so long ago I was one myself. You rein them in too tight and they’ll break free, run wild.”
“There’s another lyric, Virginia. You’re good at this.”
I shake my head, blushing. “Did you have fun today?” I ask.
He nods. “I haven’t been around adults like that in a long time. Just shooting the shit, laughing. I didn’t realize how much I missed it.”
“For me, it’s like this whole new world. I never had people like that in my life before moving here. Friends.”
“You didn’t have friends in the uh—”
“The badlands?” I twist my lips. “I had one friend. Laila. She moved here, actually. She lives on the opposite side of the lake, but she went to LA for Christmas. It’s where her husband is from. And they have a whole photoshoot thing.”
Tanner furrows his brows. “Photoshoot?”
“Yeah, she kinda married Colton Miller.”
“Wow, really? The actor?”
I nod. “I told you, crazy things happen on this mountain.”
Tanner runs a hand over his beard, looking at me. “They sure do, Virginia Sutton.”
The energy between us is charged, and I want Tanner, all over again.
The bathroom door opens, and Cash comes out in his sweats and hoodie, ready for bed. Clover opens her door and we enter their bedroom where there is a set of bunk beds. “Will you sing me a Christmas song, Papa?” Clover asks as she climbs into the bottom bunk.
“Sure,” he says, then looking at me, asks. “Do you sing, Virginia?”
I bite my lip. “Not really.”
“Not really means yes,” Cash says, grinning as he climbs the ladder.
My cheeks redden. “What song did you have I mind?”
Tanner opens his mouth and a low, gravelly sound fills the room. It’s deep and seasoned and beautiful. “Have yourself a merry little Christmas,” he sings. I smile, loving this song. Loving that Tanner is singing it to his youngest children.
RAISED: The Mountain Man’s Babies Page 5
