Shadow in the Desert (Shadow SEALs)

by Becca Jameson

  She didn’t know that yet, but it was necessary. He wasn’t taking her one step closer to the danger zone. She was raised in this town. If anything happened to him, people would take care of her and get her out of the country safely.

  He didn’t know for sure how far Charley intended for Serena to accompany him, but he was certain Charley understood there was no way Ajax would lead Serena into a battle situation. The danger level he was willing to expose her to had been exceeded when they stepped off the airplane.

  Serena leaned her head on his shoulder. “You okay?”

  He chuckled as he wrapped an arm around her. “That’s usually my line.”

  “Yeah, but right now you’re the pensive one all up in your head.”

  “Mmm. True. Just thinking. We’re getting closer. Shit’s gonna get real.”

  “It must be stressful. I can’t imagine if six of my closest friends were being held hostage for three months in a third-world country. I think I’d lose my mind.”

  “If I had made this trip alone, there’s a good chance I would have panicked by now, but you’ve kept me distracted. Thank you.”

  She tipped her head back and smiled at him. “There. Perfect.”

  He furrowed his brow. “What’s perfect?”

  “I’ll just tell my mom that I had to get naked with you in order to save lives. It was an important job assignment.”

  He chuckled and kissed her forehead. “You’ll do no such thing.”

  She giggled. “Why not? I think it’s a good ice breaker. Yeah, so, Mom, I think I need to branch out and expand my options. The men I’ve met at the church aren’t cutting it for me. I’m gonna need a man with a bit more experience who can make me scream in bed.”

  Ajax rolled his eyes skyward and gripped her tighter. “You’ll do no such thing,” he repeated. “No need to kiss and tell. You won’t even have to lie. Your mother is not going to ask you if you had sex with the former SEAL you were traveling with.” Right? God, he hoped he was right. But what did he know?

  “True. Just in case…” she teased.

  “It’s bothering you, isn’t it?”

  She shook her head. “No.”

  “Not only did I lead you down a path of seduction and put you in tune with all the sins of the flesh, but I’ve caused you to start lying.” He couldn’t keep from grinning.

  “You did not.” She swatted at his chest.

  He caught her hand in his and kissed her knuckles. “It’s a slippery slope. All this lying. First, you lie to cover up your transgressions, then you lie about lying. What’s next? You probably won’t tell your mom you even came to Ethiopia.”

  Her eyes widened adorably. “Hey, that’s not a bad idea. I just won’t tell her where I went at all. Omission.”

  He chuckled. “Is that what they teach in Sunday school? Lying by omission as a way to avoid facing the truth?”

  She giggled. “Maybe you could lie for me and then I wouldn’t be the one sinning.”

  This banter was fun and helped keep his mind off the upcoming mission, but he wondered how much of it was a joke to her and how much of it was serious.

  He was concerned about her. Big time. No matter what. Even if he pulled back and kept his hands to himself starting right now, he’d still made her feel things she hadn’t been aware of. Made her think. Made her question her beliefs and choices.

  At the time, when he’d decided to show Serena what she was missing out on, he hadn’t fully realized how religious she was or how it might affect her emotionally. Now, he was worried that he’d done more harm than good.

  Was there such a thing as too much information? Some situations required one to keep some things to themselves. Like dropping into a third-world country from a helicopter and handing out candy bars to the children who’d never had one before. Was that kind or cruel?

  He felt that way about Serena. Even though he hated how sheltered she’d lived and how uneducated she was about sex, that hadn’t given him the right to interfere and cause her to question everything she’d known to be true for twenty-eight years. Now he worried he’d done her a disservice.

  On the other hand, she was an adult who made her own decisions. She wasn’t exactly naïve. She was worldly. She traveled and dealt with people and had a great deal of education. She wasn’t weak or mousy. She’d simply been uninformed about pleasure. And now she wasn’t. He was sure she would work through her feelings about sex over time.

  Ajax couldn’t do anything about the past now. All he could do was hug this amazing woman against him and wish the world were a simpler place in which the two of them could fit into it as a couple.

  When they finally heard a vehicle approaching, Ajax stood first, palming the gun at his side, watching closely.

  The car that pulled up had only one occupant, and Ajax tensed up until the man held up two fingers, the sign they were expecting. Ajax forced himself to calm down. He was growing more anxious with each passing hour.

  Serena rose next to Ajax and grabbed her pack, and then the two of them hurried over to the car. It was still daylight, so people would see them inside the vehicle as they drove into town, making Ajax wonder if they needed to stay down and out of sight.

  Serena came to an abrupt stop as soon as they reached the driver’s side. The window was rolled down, and when Ajax glanced at her, he found her grinning. She set her hand on the frame of the car and uttered one word. It sounded like a question.

  The dark-skinned man nodded, brows drawn.

  Serena’s grin widened and she proceeded to speak again, rapidly. This wasn’t the same language she’d spoken in Addis Ababa, and Ajax reminded himself of the reasons he’d needed her to accompany him at least as far as possible. She also spoke Afar. She used to live here. Even though Amharic was the most widely spoken language in Ethiopia, it was often a second language in the region where they were now located.

  Ajax took her bag and tucked all three in the back seat while she spoke with the man. On closer inspection, Ajax didn’t think he was very old. Perhaps early twenties.

  Serena was downright excited and giddy when she slid into the back seat next to Ajax. “My goodness,” she muttered.

  “Care to share?” Ajax asked.

  She was shaking her head slowly in disbelief as she met his gaze. “This man is the son of my friend Jasmine, the woman I told you about. He was only ten when I left. He’s all grown up now.” She reached over and squeezed Ajax’s hand. “We’re going to Jasmine’s house.”

  Ajax smiled at her. What a blessing. The woman she most wanted to see in this small town would be their hostess for the night. Even better, Ajax wouldn’t feel as nervous about leaving her there. This development solidified in his mind that he would leave Serena with her friend and continue on alone.

  Serena was beside herself with excitement as the young man parked the car behind a comfortable-looking house. Her happiness warmed Ajax’s heart. Seeing her friend would distract her from the rampant thoughts of regret running through her mind.

  A woman came out of the back of the house as soon as the young man turned off the ignition, and her face lit up when Serena jerked the car door open and jumped out to run toward her friend.

  The woman’s eyes were wide, as were her arms, as Serena ran into her embrace. Jasmine cried, sobbing out loud as she hugged Serena and then cupped her face and met her gaze. She spoke rapidly in Afar. Serena nodded several times and responded in between the barrage of questions.

  Ajax watched all of this as he extricated himself from the car and set their bags next to it. He approached slowly.

  When Jasmine released Serena’s face, Serena turned toward Ajax. “This is Ajax, the man I’m accompanying.”

  “Welcome to our home,” Jasmine responded. Tears were still sliding down her dark cheeks, and she kept swiping at them, but they continued to fall. Tears of happiness.

  It didn’t escape Ajax’s notice that this woman who had done such a kindness for Serena all those years ago had been like
a mother to her. She may have even played a more important role than Serena’s own mother. She’d empowered Serena in a very modern, feminist way.

  Jasmine ushered them all inside. Her son picked up Serena’s pack and carried it while Ajax grabbed the other two. It smelled amazing, another rich stew Ethiopians often dined on.

  Ajax followed the younger man through to a bedroom where they dropped all the bags before returning to the front of the house. Ajax wondered if he would be sleeping with Serena here. At the previous house, the couple had assumed the two of them were married. That was unlikely to be the case tonight. He would let Serena handle that side of things.

  “I can’t believe it’s you,” Jasmine was saying as Ajax joined them. They were seated at a table in the kitchen, and Ajax settled next to Serena.

  Jasmine sat at the head of the table. She reached over to stroke Serena’s hair gently and then giggled. “What a beautiful woman you have become.”

  Serena blushed as she set her hand on Jasmine’s. “You have not aged a day.”

  Jasmine chuckled. “It feels like I have.”

  She glanced at Ajax. “Thank you for bringing this lovely child back to me.”

  He nodded in some confusion. “I’m afraid I cannot take credit for that. It is Serena who has brought me to your home.”

  Jasmine smiled warmly. “Well, I’m just so happy.” She turned toward Serena and then glanced back and forth between the two of them. Finally, she lifted a brow. “You are a couple?”

  That adorable flush covered Serena’s cheeks and she swallowed. “No. Not exactly.”

  Jasmine’s grin widened and she clapped her hands together in front of her lips. There was a twinkle in her eyes. “You are in love.” She grabbed Serena’s hand and squeezed it. “I see it in your eyes, child.”

  Ajax couldn’t help but smile. This woman was intuitive. He wasn’t entirely sure she was correct, but his chest tightened at the possibility. It wasn’t fair of him to feel such glee at the prospect that this amazing woman might feel even one-tenth of the feelings toward him that Jasmine suggested.

  He shifted his gaze to Serena. She was bright red now and biting her bottom lip. He swallowed. Was she in love with him? They’d only been together a few days. Granted, those were very intense days, but love? His excitement shifted to fear. It would be a disaster for Serena to be in love with him.

  He ran a hand over his head and shifted his gaze away from the intensity of Jasmine’s.

  Jasmine changed the subject. “Tell me everything.” Her expression dropped. “We were so saddened by your father’s death.”

  “Thank you,” Serena responded. “It was hard to believe.”

  “You returned to your country with your mother and siblings, correct?”

  “Yes, I hated that we were rushed out of here in the middle of the night, unable to even say goodbye.”

  “I too hated that, child, but I knew you had been moved to safety. My husband will be so excited to see you when he gets here. And look at you,” Jasmine widened her arms. “So grown up. Your mother?”

  Serena nodded. “She is well, as are my brothers and sisters.”

  Jasmine’s son nodded toward Ajax. “I can show you the bath if you’d like to shower.”

  Ajax nodded as he stood, grateful to have a reason to leave the room. Serena would need time to catch up with her friend. He could use that time to regroup and clean up.

  He squeezed Serena’s shoulder as he turned to leave.

  She set her hand on top of his and tipped her head back, her gaze filled with happiness.

  Chapter 18

  “Just how modern is your friend Jasmine?” Ajax asked Serena later that evening when the two of them were finally alone in the bedroom. “She didn’t bat an eye about us sharing a room. What did you tell her?” he teased.

  She chuckled. “I told her the truth. Well, I might have left a few parts out, but I told her I was accompanying you on a mission because I know the region and the language. She said she would be happy to offer me another place to sleep if I’d like, but her eyes were dancing, and she quickly shook her head and changed her mind, deciding that wasn’t what I would prefer.”

  Serena looked up at Ajax, wondering if he would rather they had separate rooms. After all, he was the one to bring it up.

  He was grinning at her though, teasingly.

  She licked her lips. “It was awkward, but I didn’t want to make it more awkward.”

  Ajax reached for her and pulled her into his arms. He smoothed his hand down her damp hair from her shower and tipped her head back. “I only care what makes you comfortable, Serena.” He looked so sexy, wearing nothing more than a pair of sleep pants.

  His gaze was so intense as if he could see into her soul. It always felt so intimate when he looked at her like that. No one had ever looked at her with such intensity.

  It was both exciting and scary at the same time.

  He stroked her cheek with his thumb. “I’m so glad you were able to reconnect with your friend.”

  “Me too. A weight lifted off of me. Even if I never see her again, I will rest easier having spoken to her. So many things were left unsaid when I disappeared in the night. I never got to thank her for everything she’d done for me.”

  “She knew though, baby.”

  Serena choked up a bit. She didn’t want to get all teary again, so she drew in a breath and swiped at the tears.

  Ajax ran a hand down her hair and then he reached for her fingers and backed up until he could sit on the edge of the bed. He spun her around so that her back was to him, and then he stroked his fingers through her hair. Both hands. Dragged them all the way down the length several times, letting the heaviness of it slip through his palms.

  She stood still and let him touch her like this, unable to move a muscle.

  “So damn beautiful,” he muttered. “I could run my fingers through your hair for hours.”

  This was the first time he’d had the opportunity. The only prior time she’d had it completely down had been the first night in the hotel when he’d touched it just for a moment. She drew in a soft breath. “It feels good,” she whispered. “It’s been many years since someone played with my hair. My mother used to brush it out in the evenings when I was very young. I loved sitting there letting her brush it. But then my first sister came along and then another. I often brushed their hair for them. No one had time to pay attention to me.”

  Serena flinched. What a strange thing to share.

  Ajax wrapped his arms around her from behind and pulled her back against his chest between his thighs. “I’m sorry. That must have been lonely.”

  “I hadn’t thought so at the time,” she whispered. It felt so good in his arms. A little voice in her mind told her she was playing with fire and would inevitably get burned, but she couldn’t stop herself. She wanted everything Ajax was willing to give her. Every moment.

  She could practically hear the clock ticking in her mind, warning her that her time with him would soon come to an end. Now was not the time to be timid. She needed to ask for what she wanted from him or miss her opportunity.

  She opened her mouth to speak, but he spun her around at that second, cupped her cheeks, and kissed her. She leaned into him, or perhaps melted was a better word. Her legs were putty as she molded her front against his.

  His hand slid to her back and smoothed up and down, tangling in her hair. She liked it. Liked the way he sometimes accidentally tugged on a lock. Her throat felt constricted. Concern about losing him and never feeling this way again flooded her.

  There were so many scenarios that could end with her never seeing him again. And so few in which she did. Every time she played out the future in her head, she grew more nervous.

  She knew at some point they would inevitably separate. No way would he bring her all the way to the hostage location. If he lived through this rescue attempt, would he come back to her here? Would she still be in the country? And what if he survived but then ne
ver came to her in the States? She’d pondered that several times, but it no longer seemed likely. He would find her. He’d made that clear. And then what?

  When he broke the kiss, he dragged his thumb along her swollen bottom lip, watching it. Neither of them spoke. There was an air of finality that concerned her. She wasn’t sure how many more days she had with him, but at least a few. And yet, he seemed reverent as if he were memorizing her.

  His hands slid to the bottom of her shirt and he slowly drew it up over her head, setting it on the bed next to him.

  She fought the urge to cover herself. The light was still on. It wasn’t bright, but she was still unnerved by the exposure.

  Her breath hitched when he cupped her breasts and thumbed her nipples.

  She gripped his shoulders to hold on while he explored. She wanted this. She wanted him to make love to her. So much so that she bit her lip to keep from crying out when he reached for her hair again and let the strands slowly fall through his fingers to land over her breasts.

  His breathing was heavy.

  The locks of thick hair teased her nipples and he leaned forward to part the curtain with his chin so he could suckle one.

  She gasped, her fingers digging into his strong shoulders.

  He slid a hand up to set two fingers over her lips while he flicked her nipple with his tongue.

  She pursed her lips, knowing he was trying to silence her.

  A shudder wracked her body as his other hand slid down to her butt and squeezed.

  When her lips parted, he tapped them with his fingers. A reminder. But she was failing at silence, so he released her nipple with a pop and tipped his head back to chuckle at her. “So noisy.”

  She grinned, less embarrassed by that admission than she would have been even a day ago. It didn’t keep her cheeks from heating, but she felt more confident having him see her naked.

  A little squeal came out when he grabbed her by the hips as he stood and tossed her on the bed face down. She twisted her head around to see what he was up to, but the giggle that was about to escape turned into a whimper when his hands came to the waistband of her shorts. He pulled them down and off her body so fast. Seconds later, he was on the bed with her on his side, one hand on the small of her back, the other cradling her head.