“I sure do.” He steps away for a moment then returns with the photo of an old colonial-style farmhouse, yellow and terracotta, with a pitched roof, moulded handrails and brick chimney running up the side. “It’s beautiful. Are you including the chimney and the second storey?”
“I am. The fireplace will not work, of course. But I’m even making copies of some of the antique furniture.” He shows me a few other pictures. “It’s a really exciting project.” I’m so engrossed imagining a downscaled version of this house that I don’t see someone standing in the entryway until Leo says her name.
“Abigail?”
“What?” I immediately put the pictures down and jump off the drafting table, frowning as Abby stands in her new school uniform, long hair plaited down her back, bag over her shoulder. “I dropped you off at school almost an hour ago. What‘s going on?” Did I get the wrong address? Did school not start today? How is she here without my permission? Handing my coffee to Leo, I move closer to check that she’s OK.
“Why where you sitting on his desk?” she asks, a knit in her brow as she looks from Leo to me.
“I was looking at the plans and pictures for his miniature house project. It’s rather cool if you wanna see.”
“She’s still married. You know that, right?” She directs that at Leo.
“Abby,” I chide. Not that it makes much of a difference. She’s been much quieter, less talkative since I picked her up from her sleepover. She said she had fun, so I’ve put it down to her feeling out of her comfort zone starting a new school.
“Her ring is gone, but legally—”
“I’m aware,” Leo says gently.
“Good,” she replies, before her eyes return to me. My expression is waiting, trying not to become annoyed that she’s already skipping on the first day. “I need my sports uniform.”
“Oh,” I say. “Why didn’t you just text me?”
She shrugs. “It’s just assembly then recess. I thought I’d come see you at work.”
Spy on me more likely. “OK. Well, this is the place. The workshop is here and the office is over there. I’ll mainly be in there.”
She looks at Leo, her eyes moving over his button-up shirt, jean-clad legs, and booted feet. “And you’re out here, building a little house?”
Leo rubs his hand along his jaw. “Actually, I was about to go to the hardware store, so if you need that sports uniform, I can drop you on my way. Your mum has work to do.”
“Uh…” Her gaze flicks between us, like she’s really trying to wrap her head around the fact that work gets done here—or, at least it will. “Sure.”
“Let’s go then.” Leo grabs his keys and lets me know he’ll be about an hour. He takes control and diffuses the situation so easily that I’m grateful for his experience with difficult teens.
Once they drive off, I stand still for a moment while I contemplate what Abby’s visit meant. I don’t buy for a second that she came here to do anything other than check up on Leo and me to make sure we weren’t doing anything non-work related. Thank God she came when she did, because ten minutes earlier and we would have been busted. When she became such a suspicious person, I’m not quite sure. But it’s something I’ll need to watch. I’m not ready to introduce Leo as anything more than a friend just yet. I don’t want to rock that delicately balanced boat because she’s obviously not ready, and I’ve worked too hard to go backwards with her.
Moving into the office, I open each drawer in the four filing cabinets along the wall to see what space I have to work with and find them mostly empty. “Well, that makes things easy.”
Starting on the first box, I go through each bit of paper and sort it into categories while I think about this past weekend and the difference in my life from Bairnsdale to now. Besides the fact that I have two children, everything about my life has changed, and as Jo pointed out, I’m definitely happier for it. Kevin’s leaving was a blessing in disguise and maybe the kick in the pants I sorely needed to get my life on a different, more fulfilling path.
Archer has been amazing. He’s the most versatile kid and has thrived moving to Bayside. I hadn’t noticed quite how subdued he’d been around Kevin until I saw the contrast in his behaviour at Nana’s. He’s much more outgoing and gregarious now, and I love that he’s gotten that opportunity while he’s still young enough to enjoy it.
Then, of course, there’s Abby. She misses her friends. And she misses the stability of before. I’ve mentioned that she isn’t very adaptive to change, and I have to say that I’m proud of her for accepting our new circumstances when I know she’d rather resist. It shows a level of maturity I didn’t think she possessed yet, and if we can keep the status quo moving forward, there’s no reason I can’t take her back to Bairnsdale fairly regularly to see old friends. We can make this work for everyone.
This new development of leaving school to check up on me is interesting though. And I’m not sure if it’s because she doesn’t trust me alone with Leo, or if she was so nervous about going to school today that she made up an excuse to delay arriving. Either way, I’m happy she left with Leo with minimal fuss. I also love that he stepped up and volunteered to drive her, like it’s no issue to be helpful or go out of his way for another person. I think if we can have more ‘normal’ interactions like this between her and Leo, we’ll be that much closer to being able to introduce him as being more than a friend. I do feel we’re months away from involving the kids in our relationship. That parenting forum I read suggested I wait until I’ve been seeing Leo on my own for at least three months. Because if I allow the kids to accept him as family and things don’t work out, it can be more damaging than keeping my relationship a secret from them. And I’m trying so hard to get this right.
I let out a sigh as I collect another stack of papers from the box. Maybe this thing with Leo is all a pipe dream and I’m putting too much pressure on us to become something more than we are. We’re together, but anything more than that seems to be a logistical nightmare. We’re a series of stolen moments and hidden conversations. I wish we were more, but the one thing my mother was right about is that this is too soon. I can’t run from one committed relationship to another. As Abby pointed out, I’m not even divorced yet. And I won’t be for at least another year. Should I even be contemplating a real known-to-the-world relationship with Leo when I’m still married to Kevin?
This is all so complicated. Logic versus emotion. In my heart, I want something amazing to happen with Leo. But in my head, all I can see are problems moving forward. Meaning we’re stuck as we are now. The question is, will the occasional heated moment and quiet morning walk be enough?
I have to admit I had a dream over the weekend that Leo said he was falling in love with me. I’d fallen asleep while talking on the phone so his voice was fresh in my mind, and I was wishing I was with him instead of in Bairnsdale. In the dream, we were cuddled up in bed—something I’m craving—and he was pressing kisses against my shoulder then he paused and said he thinks he’s falling in love with me. Then I said I love you back. No pause, no thought, I just said what I felt. And now I’m trying to imagine a world where that level of emotion can be a reality without creating problems with Abigail, possibly Niall, and definitely Tash. The way she treated me on Friday was simply off-putting. She and Leo have been apart for thirteen years. She has no claim over him any more.
God, the idea of our relationship becoming public knowledge scares the crap out of me. And not only because of the reactions I expect, but because I’m afraid to trust this feeling. I mean, I loved Kevin all those years and was completely blindsided when it was over. I wasn’t enough for him. What’s to say that when the initial attraction wears off that I’ll be enough for Leo? What if I give my heart again, fight to have a life with him, and then he wakes up one day and realises that I’m not enough? It would destroy me. What I feel towards Leo burns hot and bright in my chest, and I desperately want to believe that the last twenty years were designed by fate to le
ad me to this perfect man who complements every part of me. But what if I’m doing exactly as my mother suggested and throwing myself at the first eligible guy I found because I’m scared to be alone? Lawd. This hurts my head. Nana isn’t wrong in her encouragement to live a life with joy and happiness and all things Leo. But she is in a very different stage of life than I am, and I do need to juggle her open way of thinking with the wisdom it takes to raise stable and emotionally healthy kids. Jo isn’t encumbered with that responsibility either, so as much as I love her, she doesn’t know what this is like.
I’d like to think fate lead me here, but as I look around at all the paperwork across the desk, spreading to piles on the floor, I’m so overwhelmed. The chaos in front of me eerily matches what I’m feeling inside my head. In my heart. I’ll be able to make sense of all the paperwork in front of me, but my heart? I don’t think I trust myself to make any sense of that.
FORTY-TWO
LEO
“I get the feeling you don’t like me much,” I say to Abby as we drive towards the high school. We’ve stopped off at the apartments to get her sports uniform, said a quick hello to Esme while she sat and had tea with Arthur—I thought she broke up with him, but I struggle to keep up with her harem members—and made it halfway back to the school with barely a spoken word.
“I don’t know you, Leo. You’re just some guy who lives next door and keeps showing up like you have a reason to.”
“I get it,” I say. Her words are simple, but they’re telling.
“I doubt it.”
“You’re worried I’m making moves on your mum and trying to take the place of your father.”
“Hanging out with Archer, giving an unqualified woman a job, building an elaborate bunk set for us. All signs are pointing to yes.”
“Do you want the truth, or do you want me to lie?”
“Truth.”
“I like your mum. A lot. But she won’t let me have the kind of relationship I want with her until she’s one hundred percent sure you kids are going to be OK with it. Which is a beautiful thing, because it shows how much she loves and cares for you.”
“So that’s why you gave her a job, because you’re into her?”
“I gave her a job because she needs money to support you and Archer and she needed a break. I offered money, but she wouldn’t take a handout because she’s proud and she’s trying to teach you how to be strong and resilient when the chips are down.”
“Doesn’t explain why you’re all buddy-buddy with Archer.”
I sigh as I shift gears to turn the corner. “Archer comes to me because he likes to. I don’t make him, but I do listen when he talks. Which is ultimately what I think he’s after. He’s a good kid, maybe if you spent some time with him, you’d see that for yourself. And as far as the bunk build goes, I’m a carpenter. Building things is my job. A job your Nana paid me for. So, maybe you can stop looking at me like I’m some kind of threat to you. Maybe sit back in the knowledge that your mum loves you guys above everything else in the world. And every decision she makes is based around what’s best for the both of you.”
She leans back in her seat and scoffs.
“You don’t believe me?”
“I do. It’s just that you say you don’t want to take the place of our dad, but that was the biggest dad speech I’ve ever heard. You said you’d tell the truth.” That’s the longest dad talk? Holy shit. The man is such an arse.
Pulling up outside of the high school, I sigh. “I don’t want to take the place of your dad, Abigail, and I’ll tell you why. That guy up and left, and I don’t live my life that way. I stand up, I show up, and I don’t give up. I’m not going anywhere, I don’t lie, and I certainly don’t cheat. I really like your mother, Abby. So we can either get along and let your mother be happy, or we can fight each other and force her to choose.”
She lets out another scoff. “You think she’d choose you?”
I shake my head. “Not for a second. She’ll always choose you. What you have to decide is, are you going to make her do that? Or are you going to let her be happy?”
“HOW WAS Abby going back into school?” Darcy asks when I return a little over an hour later. The tray of my ute is laden with supplies, and she grabs a can of paint and a box of random fixtures to help me unload.
“She was OK. Wanted to know my intentions.” I feel a smile kicking up the corner of my mouth. I don’t hold any resentment towards Abby. In fact, I think that her reactions are very typical of a girl her age going through the collapse of her typical family unit. I’ve been through a stack of tense moments over the years with Niall, so I’m an old hand at navigating the hard questions. No kid wants their parents to split and anyone outside the immediate family is viewed as a threat.
“Towards me? What did you tell her?”
I stack sheets of plasterboard against the far wall and gesture for her to put the box and paint can on the workbench. “A version of the truth. I didn’t out us as together, but I did tell her I care about you. I won’t lie to anyone about that.”
As she inhales, her back gets straighter and her hands go to her hips. “And how did she respond?”
“She asked if that’s why I gave you a job.” I keep moving so she has to follow me back to the ute if she wants to continue this conversation. I have no objection over relaying my conversation, but we’re working here.
“And what did you say?” She jogs a little to catch up to me, concern knitting her brow. I’ve obviously overstepped in her book. But the way I see it, I didn’t tell the girl anything she doesn’t already now. I just took away a little doubt and I’m not going to apologise for that.
I pull a stack of two-by-fours off the tray, and she catches the end of it—adorably, because I can totally carry this myself—and carries with me while I relay what was said about the circumstances of her job, that she wanted to know why I spent time with Archer, and what my motivation for making the bunks was. The only part I left off was when I spoke about not taking the place of her dad. I think that part of the conversation was between me and Abigail, and if she wants her mum to know that’s a concern of hers, then I’ll let them have that conversation on their own.
When we place the wood on the rack, she pushes her hair back from her face. “And she was fine with those reasons?”
Moving to stand in front of her, I slip my finger into the belt loop on her jeans and pull her closer. “Yes. I also told her what an amazing mother you are and how your first thought in all you do is for your children’s happiness.”
“You think I’m an amazing mum?”
I nod. “Uh-huh.”
“Well, thank you. That means a lot to know you think that.”
“It’s true. And do you know what else I think?”
She grins, catching the soft change in my tone. “What else do you think?”
“This may not be the best segue, but I really missed you this weekend. I think we should close up the workshop and take a nice long lunch break to celebrate your first day.”
Her hands glide over my shoulders, fingers lacing behind my neck. “I’ve barely done any work, but, I’ve missed you too and I’d really like to connect in that way with you again.”
“Oh, angel. I’ll give you a connection you’ll never forget.”
It takes about five seconds for my thumb to find the remote and hit the button so the roller doors slide down and we’re blissfully alone. Finally.
FORTY-THREE
DARCY
The alarm sounds on my phone, letting me know it’s almost time to pick up Abigail and Archer. I press my face into Leo’s chest and groan. “I don’t want to get out of this bed.”
Tightening his arm around me, he places a kiss on the top of my head. “Me either. I want to ravish you, fuck you, sleep wrapped up with you then wake up and do it all again. Repeat. Repeat.”
“Sounds heavenly.” I brush my fingers through his chest hair, listening to the sound of his heart and his breath. “What wou
ld we eat?”
“That’s easy. Each other.”
I chuckle. “And what would we drink?”
“Hmm, there are options. But this could get really gross really fast.”
My chuckle becomes a grossed-out giggle. “We should probably get out of bed then.”
“Hmm.”
We’re in agreement, but we don't move a muscle. It feels too damn good being alone with him. But the tick-tick of time is forcing my heart rate to quicken, moment by moment slipping away. The outside world demanding attention.
“OK. I’m getting up,” I say, forcing myself to sit.
“Come back.” Leo pulls me to him and I happily fall against him, laughing and kissing before I push away again.
“I really have to get up. I need a quick shower before I grab the kids, or the mothers at the primary school will smell you on me and think I’m a hooker. That won’t be a great first impression.”
“I think you smell wonderful. Not hooker-like at all,” Leo says, running his fingers up and down my bare back. I close my eyes and enjoy his touch for a split second longer. “Want some company in that shower?”
“Yes. But we’ll never get out of there, so no. Stay right here.” I hold a finger up as I stand and head for the small but functional bathroom. It has white tiled walls, blue tiled floor, a decent-sized shower, and a small vanity and toilet. Everything you need.
As I wait for the shower to warm, I take a quick look at myself in the mirror. Kiss-sore lips, bright eyes, messy hair, and pink cheeks. I look thoroughly fucked, and the grin curving my lips confirms it. The man is amazing in the sack.
When I have the water temperature right, I step under the stream and call out to Leo. “Hey, I know I’m not supposed to work tomorrow, but I’m thinking I might come in and do the work I should have done today?”
“Sounds good to me,” he says from the doorway, giving me a sudden fright that causes me to laugh.
Love is a Beach: a romantic comedy Page 27
