“What do you think you’re doing?”
He grins with only one side of his mouth. “Saving water. There’s a drought.”
“In New South Wales. Not here.”
He slides the glass door of the shower recess open. “Doesn’t hurt to conserve, Darcy.”
When he takes me in his arms and kisses me, I feel his hard length awaken against my stomach, causing fluttering inside me in response. “Oh God, Leo,” I gasp, wrapping my arms around him as his kisses move down my neck and shoulders. “I don’t have time. We don’t have time.”
“How long until you need to leave?”
“Maybe ten minutes.”
He hoists me against the wall and grins. “Challenge accepted.”
IT’S TAKES the full five days of the week to complete the fifteen hours’ worth of work I would have done in just three had Leo and I been capable of sticking to our sex at lunch rule. The fact that we could close up the workshop at the click of a button proved too tempting for us when we’ve previously struggled to find a shared window of time. We were like kids in a candy store with very dirty minds and large appetites.
Truth be known, it’s been a wonderful week and I regret none of it. Even the part where Abby turned up and demanded to know what Leo’s intentions towards me were. Turns out, that conversation with Leo did put her mind at ease. She hasn’t made one snarky comment about him to Archer all week. She’s even said hi to him a couple of times when he’s been on his deck when we’ve left the apartment. That’s progress in my eyes.
Both of the kids have had a fairly decent first week at their new schools. Archer loves the new-to-him play equipment at his school and thinks his teachers are ‘the best’, and Abigail seems to be slotting in with a new group of friends. Some girl called Rachel has taken her under her wing and is introducing her around. I overheard them chatting to each other online the other day while they were doing homework, and there were a couple of other kids in on the conversation too, so it felt like some semblance of normal to me and helped me breathe a little easier. I knew school would either make or break our move to Bayside for Abby. I’m keeping my fingers crossed and holding them over my heart, hoping this improvement continues and my smiling, relaxed daughter returns to me.
“I thought we’d go into the main street and get something really yummy for afternoon tea,” I say to both my kids after school on Friday afternoon. “I got paid today, so we can celebrate making it through our first week of school and work.”
“Can we get cheeseburgers?” Archer asks. “Or chicken nuggets? Something that involves meat.”
“Sounds good to me. What do you think, Abigail?”
She gives me a shrug, but I can see she’s interested. “I actually don’t mind the vegan food Nana cooks, but I think I could definitely go a burger.”
I smile. “Let’s make it an early dinner then. We’ll even get dessert. I feel like going all out. I’ve never had a payslip before. I feel so grown-up.”
“Never?” Abigail says, shocked. “You’ve never had a job? What about your Etsy business? Doesn’t that count?”
“That was a hobby. It took me five years to save the money we’ve been living off this past couple of months and it’s almost gone. So, I don’t count that as a job.”
“Can we live off this money?” Archer asks.
“Well, we can’t move out of Nana’s. But it’ll pay for everything else.”
“Good. Because I like living at Nana’s.”
“I’d like it better if I had my own room,” Abigail says.
“I know, darling,” I say, glancing her way as I find a spot to park. “I’m working on it, OK?” I finally have a meeting with a lawyer who specialises in debt relief next week. I’m hoping they can point me in the right direction so I can clear up my credit rating and find out what Kevin did with all that money he syphoned away.
“Can I sleep over at Leo’s, Mummy?” Archer asks from the back seat. “He’s got a room that’s completely empty. We can have a boy’s side and a girl’s side.”
“That’s super inappropriate, Archer,” Abigail shoots over her shoulder as we get out of the car.
“I have to agree with your sister on this one, mate. It would be very inappropriate to ask Leo if you can have a room in his house,” I say, although I certainly wouldn’t mind sleeping over at Leo’s place myself.
“But he wouldn’t mind,” Archer argues. “And you could still come and say goodnight. You just walk through the door and pretend like his apartment is the other half of Nana’s apartment. I do it all the time.”
Walking towards the café, I slip my arm around Archer’s shoulders and pull him against my side. “I’m sorry, honey. It’s not something I’d feel comfortable asking of him. You and Abby will have to share for the time being. We’re doing OK with the bunk dividing the room, aren’t we?”
“It’s fine,” Abby says. “No one needs to sleep over at Leo’s. I don’t mind sharing.”
Later at the café, we’ve finished our meals while Archer regales us with tales about the cool trick his friend Nicholas can do with an elastic band and a handful of gumnuts. I don’t think homemade slingshots are allowed at school, but Archer assures me the gumnuts are quite harmless. I may need to test this ‘trick’ out to check for myself.
Abby messages with a friend on her phone, looking up occasionally to listen in or add something to the conversation.
“What does he shoot the gumnuts at?” she asks before frowning towards the magazine rack on the wall of the café, holding newspapers and, of course, magazines for café customers to enjoy. “Is that Leo on the cover of New Idea?”
“Huh?” I turn around and squint at the neatly stacked magazines, my eyesight not as good as it once was. “Which one?”
“That one,” she says, pointing. “Second from the left on the third row. It has yellow writing about a Neighbours star reuniting with her— Oh.” She sits back in her chair, blinking. “Maybe it isn’t him.”
“Yes, it is,” Archer says, jumping up and grabbing the magazine. “Look. It says his name right here under the photo. Who is he hugging, Mummy?”
“Don’t look at it, Mum. It’s probably nothing,” Abigail says as I take the magazine from Archer’s hands as my chest squeezes tight. Sure enough, Leo’s on the cover, standing on the beach with his arms wrapped around his ex-wife. So much for hating each other. The headline reads ‘Star-crossed lovers: Neighbours Star and Retired Ruby Legend reunite after thirteen years.
A lump forms in my throat. Based on the outfits they’re wearing, this was taken a week ago, after I left them alone at Leo’s workshop. This means they went for a walk along the beach together, hugged after whatever they were discussing, and Leo didn’t even think to tell me. I didn’t realise they were on hugging terms. God, I hate this. I hate this jealous feeling that’s taking hold and making me crazy. It’s a hug. That’s all. There’s nothing wrong with hugging the mother of your child. Maybe she had some really bad news? There could be a very obvious reason and the magazine is just blowing this all out of proportion. He’s not Kevin. He’s not Kevin.
“Mum, just put it down. You’re always saying how those magazines are trash anyway,” Abigail says while I flip through to the article.
“I, um…I just want to see what it’s about. I, ah, I didn’t realise Leo was so close to Niall’s mother.” I plaster on a smile as I look up and meet her eyes. They look sad. Like she feels sad for me. And of course, she does. She has a heart, and she knows there’s at least an attraction between me and Leo. In teenage speak, she’s sitting across from me while I discover the boy I like might like another girl more than me. But he can’t.
This isn’t true. They’re making it up. He wouldn’t…
God. I feel sick.
Desperate to see if they have any actual evidence, I flip the pages until I find the main article containing more pictures. They’re mostly innocent and taken on the same day, showing them walking along the path together, Tash r
esting her head against Leo’s chest while his hands stay by his side and then there’s the one where he’s holding her, but blown up on the page, it’s more like he’s comforting her, not embracing her. And I’d feel a thousand times better if that’s where the article ends, except there’s more. In a smaller, circular frame, there’s a grainier picture taken with a night-vision lens showing him kissing…someone. The magazine caption claims it’s Leo and Tash, but I know my own picture when I see it. The woman he’s kissing is me.
“Holy shit,” I say, slapping the magazine closed.
“Wait,” Abigail says, trying to take it from under my hand. “Was that picture you?”
“No,” I say, stretching the word out. “It wasn’t. We’re just friends.”
“It’s definitely you, Mummy,” Archer says, somehow managing to get his hands on another copy of the same magazine. “Look, that’s your bum.” He points to the picture then scrunches up his face. “Why is Leo grabbing it so hard? Grown-ups are weird.”
“I…” I look from Archer who seems delighted and Abigail who looks set to explode, and I shake my head. “Itsnotwhatyouthink,” I say in a rush.
Abigail glares at me, her eyes fighting tears as her jaw pulls tight. “You’re a liar,” she whispers. “So is Leo.” She stands up. “No wonder you like each other.” And walks out.
“Wait.” I go to chase after her, but the owners of the café call out because I haven’t paid my bill. With frantic hands, I throw some money on the table as fast as I can, grab Archer, then rush out into the street. Looking both directions, she’s nowhere to be found. “Abigail,” I yell, my head swivelling left and right, searching faces and figures. Fuck.
“I think she’s gone, Mummy,” Archer says. And I think he’s right.
Shit. Shit. Shit.
FORTY-FOUR
DARCY
“She’s home. She’s safe,” Nana says, hand held out to me as I arrive home in a mess. I’ve been driving around town searching for her ever since she took off this afternoon. I’m an absolute wreck.
“Oh, thank God,” I cry, landing in her arms and allowing myself a moment of weakness as I bury my face against her shoulder.
“Everything will be OK, pet,” she soothes, patting me on the back.
Lifting my head, I blow out my breath, tears burning my eyes. “We keep saying that, don’t we? But it isn’t getting better, Nana. It feels like it is and then it gets worse.”
“Oh, Darcy.” She looks at me with utter sympathy, but I know she sees it too. I keep taking one step forward and two steps back, trying to give everything to everyone around me, including myself. But I’m failing. I keep trying to do the right thing yet I’m failing every step of the way.
“Is she in her room?” I ask, touching my fingers to my forehead as I collect my thoughts.
Nana nods. “For about fifteen minutes.
“OK. I need to talk to her. Can you distract Archer for me? He’s upset too.”
“Of course, dear.” She holds her hands out to Archer, suggesting he shows her how his Roblox game works.
“Is Abby OK?” he asks, his voice small.
“Oh, she’s fine. We need to give her and your mum some time to talk it out.” I don’t hear much more past that. My blood rushes in my ears as I try to calm down. I don’t want to go in there yelling at her, but I’m furious for the way she’s reacting, running off like a spoilt child, not answering her phone, and scaring the living daylights out of me. It’s immature and unkind, and I want to rant and rave at her, maybe shake some sense into her. But those are all things fuelled by anger and a sense of powerlessness. I won’t let my own frustrations fuel my conversation with her, as it’ll only make this shitty situation worse.
“Here goes.” After a few calm breaths, I wipe my damp palms on my thighs and approach Abby’s room, knocking on the door before entering.
“Go away,” she says, sniffling.
“You ran off, Abby. I was worried sick. We need to talk about that.”
“Why don’t you go and talk to Leo? I’m sure he’d love to hold you while you cry. Just ask his ex-wife.”
Ignoring her jibe, I pull out her desk chair and take a seat on the fluffy cushion, my hands between my knees as I press my lips together. How are we supposed to get past this point where she quits being angry and I get to be a human with feelings? I feel like I’m forever walking on eggshells, never knowing which one will break and set her off.
“You can’t run away when you’re upset, Abby. It doesn’t fix anything. You need to learn to stay calm and communicate with me.”
“You run away when you’re upset, Mum. How do you think we got here?”
“That’s a very different situation and you know it. I’ve faced any number of problems in my life by standing up and talking it through.”
“So talk then,” she snaps, hugging a pillow to her chest.
“Do you want me to explain my relationship with Leo?”
“What’s the point? All you do is lie. You already said nothing was going on, that you were just friends with him, but that was a lie. Leo at least admitted he likes you but he said you weren’t going to be together until Archer and I were cool with it. That was a lie too. Because you are together, aren’t you? You’re just lying about it and hiding it. You’re as bad as Dad.”
Ouch. Low blow.
“This is nothing like what your father did to us.”
“Isn’t it? Because it feels the same. You’re sneaking around, leaving the room when you get a text message or a call, lying about what you’re doing. It’s the same, Mum. You just don’t wanna see it.”
“How dare you,” I hiss, my voice low and hurt. “How dare you compare what he did to this. How dare you throw that in my face.” I’m too raw and angry to give her accusation the proper analysis it deserves. This is fucked. “Yes, I was sneaking around with Leo. But I wasn’t cheating on anyone. I was just doing what any responsible parent would do by making sure Leo and I were serious before I broached the subject with you. I have the right to find love again, Abigail. Your father left us and I was so blindsided it practically destroyed me. But I’ve done everything I can to get strong enough to survive this. Having Leo as a friend has been really good for me. He is a good man, and he actually makes me happy. I think I deserve to be happy, don’t you?”
“You love him?” She narrows her eyes in disbelief, and I sit back with a sigh.
“I don’t know, Abigail. Maybe.”
“More than us?”
“What do you mean?” Is this some kind of test?
“Do you love Leo more than you love me and Archer?”
“What kind of a question is that?”
She locks eyes with me for a solid moment. “A serious one.”
I actually smile, because I can’t believe she’s questioning my love for her. “You and Archer are my children, Abby. I love you both more than anyone, anything. Surely you know that.”
“Do you love me enough to stop seeing Leo?”
The bottom of my stomach drops out and a tightness forms in my throat. “Is that…” Why is she doing this? “Is that what you need from me?” Bile rises up my throat. I don’t want to give him up.
She looks me dead in the eye and I can see the moment her resolve strengthens. It comes a second before she nods emphatically. “Yeah. I do. Dad left. He won’t talk to us. And I guess I just… I need you to choose me.” Her lip wobbles and a tear slides from her eye. “I feel like I’m in the way of you living your life. Like it’d be easier for you if I just went away.”
“That’s not how it is at all, Abby.” A tear slides out from my eyes.
“It’s how it feels. That you’re just waiting until I’m out of your hair so you can run next door to him.”
“Oh honey, that’s never been the case. I love you. You’re my child, I’ll always choose you.”
“Dad didn’t choose us.” Her tears come fast and hard now, her words getting lost in her heaves. I gather her in my arms, m
y heart breaking as she cries against me and begs me to pick her.
“Mummy, please. I need you.”
What am I supposed to say to that? She’s my daughter, and I know how much she craves stability. And right now, she needs me to provide that for her, to focus on her needs. Fuck you, Kevin. He really did a number on our baby girl, and my hatred for him is renewed as I close my eyes and nod over Abby’s shoulder. “I’m not going anywhere, honey. I’m here. I’m choosing to be here. We’re going to get through this together, I promise. I’m here.”
ABIGAIL CRIES so hard that she falls asleep, her eyes puffy and red. I don’t imagine I look much better since I’ve been in here crying along with her, lamenting Kevin and his selfish behaviour. It gives me renewed strength to seek justice over what he did to me and the kids financially. He doesn’t get to live happily in his new life while I pay literally and emotionally for the damage he caused. Even though I thought he took everything when he left, and he’s still taking—destroying—especially in the abandonment issues he’s created in our daughter. I will never forgive him for this. Never.
When I emerge from the bedroom, I find Nana sitting on the couch with Archer curled up asleep on her lap, the poor kid also having gone through the wringer of late. He’s just so strong and capable that he doesn’t let anything faze him for too long. He has the ability to see the bigger picture even though he’s so incredibly young.
“How is she?” Nana asks. “And how are you?”
“Wrecked,” I reply, letting out a huge sigh because I’m really struggling not to start crying again. I don’t think I’ll ever stop.
“Maybe a shower and a stiff drink will help you sleep. Everything will look better in the morning.”
I shake my head. “Not this time, Nana.”
“Why ever not?”
“Because despite my efforts, I really can’t have it all. I need to go and speak to Leo. Tell him I can’t see him any more.”
She sucks in a breath and places her hand against her chest. “No, Darcy. Talk to her some more. Don’t give him up because your daughter is throwing a tantrum.”
Love is a Beach: a romantic comedy Page 28
