Dead Poets Society

by N. H. Kleinbaum

  “Do they go to Henley Hall?” Cameron asked.

  “I don’t think they’re in school,” Charlie said.

  “They’re townies?!” Cameron nearly choked.

  “Sshh, Cameron, what’s the matter with you?” Charlie said. “You act like they’re your mother or something. You afraid of them?”

  “Hell, no. I’m not afraid of them! It’s just, if we get caught with them, we’re dead.”

  “Say, boys, what’s going on out there?” Gloria called from the cave.

  “Just gathering wood,” Charlie called back. “We’re on our way.” Turning to Cameron, Charlie whispered, “You just keep your mouth shut, jerk-off, and there’s nothing to worry about.”

  “Watch out who you call a jerk-off, Dalton!”

  “Oh, calm down, Cameron,” Neil said.

  “It’s Nuwanda,” Charlie snapped back as he headed into the cave. The others followed. Cameron seethed with anger. He watched the boys enter the cave, waited for a minute, then followed.

  They threw their twigs and a log they’d found on the fire, and sat around the growing flames. “Wonder how Knox is making out.” Pitts laughed.

  “Poor guy,” Neil sighed. “He’s probably in for a big disappointment.”

  It was a disappointed Knox who wandered through the huge Danburry house and ended up in the butler’s pantry. Several kids stood talking while one couple was kissing passionately. Knox tried not to look as the boy’s hands kept moving up the girl’s skirt, and she kept pushing them away. Knox spotted Ginny Danburry, and they exchanged embarrassed smiles.

  “You Mutt Sanders’s brother?” a huge line-backer-type guy asked Knox as he mixed a drink.

  “No.” Knox shook his head.

  “Bubba!” the linebacker called to another huge, drunk jock who leaned against the refrigerator. “This guy look like Mutt Sanders?”

  “You his brother?” Bubba asked.

  “No relation,” Knox said. “Never heard of him. Sorry.”

  “Say, Steve,” Bubba said to the linebacker, “where’s your manners? Here’s Mutt’s brother, and you don’t offer him a drink? Want some bourbon?”

  “Actually I don’t …” Steve didn’t even hear Knox. He pushed a glass into Knox’s hand and filled it with bourbon, adding a tiny splash of coke.

  Bubba clicked glasses with Knox. “To Mutt,” he said.

  “To Mutt,” Steve, the linebacker, echoed. “To … Mutt,” Knox agreed. Bubba and Steve drained their glasses in one swallow. Knox followed their lead and burst into a coughing fit. Steve poured everyone more bourbon. Knox felt as if his whole chest was on fire.

  “So what’s Mutt been up to?” Bubba asked.

  “Actually,” Knox said, still coughing, “I don’t really … know Mutt.”

  “To Mighty Mutt,” Bubba said, holding up his glass.

  “To Mighty Mutt,” Steve echoed.

  “Mighty … Mutt,” Knox coughed as they drained their glasses again. Knox continued to cough, and the linebacker knocked him on the back.

  “Take it easy there, bud,” he laughed.

  “Well, I’d better find Patsy,” Bubba hiccupped as he slapped Knox on the back. “Say hello to Mutt for me.”

  “Will do,” Knox said. He turned to see Ginny smile at him as she wandered out of the pantry.

  “Gimme your glass, bud,” Steve called, pouring Knox more bourbon. Knox felt his head begin to swim.

  The fire blazed inside the cave. The boys and Gloria and Tina sat closely around the woodpile, mesmerized by the dancing flames. The candle on the head of the “cave god” sputtered.

  “I heard you guys were weird, but not this weird,” Tina said as she looked at the pitted statue. She pulled out a pint of whiskey and offered some to Neil. He took it and sipped, trying to act as if it were natural to take a swig. He handed it back to Tina.

  “Go ahead, pass it around,” she said. The fire and the warmth of the whiskey gave her plain face a pretty, flushed glow.

  The bottle went around the circle. Each of them tried to pretend he liked the bitter taste. Unlike most of the others, Todd managed to keep from coughing as he swallowed the whiskey down.

  “Yeah!” Gloria said, impressed by Todd’s drinking. “Don’t you guys miss having girls here?” she asked.

  “Miss it?” Charlie said. “It drives us crazy! That’s part of what this club is about. In fact, I’d like to announce that I’ve published an article in the school paper, in the name of the Dead Poets Society, demanding girls be admitted to Welton, so we can all stop beating off.”

  “You what?” Neil shouted, standing up. “How did you do that?”

  “I’m one of the proofers,” Charlie boasted. “I slipped the article in.”

  “Oh God,” Pitts moaned. “It’s over now!”

  “Why?” Charlie asked. “Nobody knows who we are.”

  “Don’t you think they’ll figure out who did it?” Cameron shouted. “Don’t you know they’ll come to you and demand to know what the Dead Poets Society is? Charlie, you had no right to do something like that!”

  “It’s Nuwanda, Cameron.”

  “That’s right,” Gloria cooed, putting her arm around Charlie. “It’s Nuwanda.”

  “Are we just playing around out here or do we mean what we say? If all we do is come and read a bunch of poems to each other, what the hell are we doing?” Charlie demanded.

  “You still shouldn’t have done it,” Neil said, pacing around the cave. “You don’t speak for the club.”

  “Hey, would you stop worrying about your precious little necks,” Charlie said. “If they catch me, I’ll tell them I made it up. All your asses are safe. Look, Gloria and Tina didn’t come here to listen to us argue. Are we gonna have a meeting or what?”

  “Yeah. How do we know if we want to join if you don’t have a meeting?”

  Neil raised his eyebrows questioningly at Charlie. “Join?” he asked.

  Charlie ignored him and turned to Tina. “‘Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day? Thou art more lovely and more temperate—’”

  Tina melted into warm goo. “Oh, that’s so sweet!” she cried, and threw her arms around Charlie. The other boys tried to appear disinterested, as if they weren’t really jealous.

  “I wrote that for you,” Charlie told Tina.

  Her eyes popped in delight. “You did?!”

  “I’ll write one for you, too, Gloria,” he said quickly, noticing her face turn red with envy. He closed his eyes. “‘She walks in beauty, like the night …’”

  Charlie opened his eyes after the first few words and stood up from the fire. Trying to cover up his forgetfulness, he walked across the cave. “‘She walks in beauty, like the night,’” he repeated. He turned his back, opened a book, and read quickly to himself, while Gloria watched expectantly. He closed it, put the book down, and turned back to Gloria. “‘Of cloudless climes and starry skies;/ And all that’s best of dark and bright/Meet in her aspect and her eyes.’”

  Gloria squealed with delight. “Isn’t he wonderful?”

  The other boys sat ashen-faced and seething with jealousy over Charlie’s escapades. Gloria squeezed Charlie tight.

  At that same moment, Knox Overstreet was experiencing some jealousy of his own as he stumbled through the crowded Danburry house. “Boy, were those guys right,” he mumbled to himself as he thought of Chris and Chet and remembered his friends’ warning not to get his hopes too high over Chris.

  The house was dark, illuminated only by the moonlight streaming through the windows. Music by the Drifters played loudly. Couples were intertwined everywhere, making out.

  Drink in hand, Knox tripped over a couple on the floor, tipsy from the innumerable bourbons without coke that he had downed with Bubba and Steve.

  “Hey!” an angry voice shouted. “Watch where you’re going! What’d ya have, too much to drink, buddy?”

  CHAPTER 10

  “Sorry,” Knox whispered, as he fell onto the sofa. He leaned back, clu
tching his half-full glass, and took a long swig of the bitter bourbon. It seemed to burn less now as it slid down his throat.

  He looked around, loosening up from the effect of the booze. To his left was a tangled couple that sounded like a giant panting beast. To his right was another pair who seemed to have sunk right into the sofa. Knox wanted to stand up, but he realized that the couple he had tripped over was now rolled against his shins, pinning him in place. He looked around and almost giggled. Oh well, I may as well make himself comfortable, he said to himself. The bodies surrounding him were too busy to notice him anyway.

  The music stopped, and the sound of heavy breathing filled the room. This sounds like an artificial respiration ward, Knox thought to himself, wishing he too had a partner. He checked on the couple to his right. I think he’s going to chew her lips off, he thought. He turned to the couple on his left.

  “Oh, Chris, you’re so beautiful,” he heard the boy’s voice say.

  Oh my God, it’s Chris and Chet! Knox thought, his heart beginning to throb. Chris Noel was sitting right next to him on the couch!

  The music started up again, and the strains of the Drifters singing “This Magic Moment” filled the room. Knox’s head was spinning. Chris and Chet were going at it full force. Knox tried to look away but his eyes were riveted on Chris.

  “Chris,” Chet groaned, “you’re so gorgeous.” Chet kissed Chris hard, and she leaned against Knox. In the moonlit room Knox stared at the outline of Chris’s face, the nape of her neck, the curves of her breasts. He quickly downed the rest of his drink and forced himself to look away.

  Oh my God, help me, he thought as Chris leaned more heavily on him. Knox’s face was contorted in agony as he felt himself struggle with temptation. He tried not to look but he knew he was losing his inner battle.

  Suddenly, he turned toward Chris again. He melted as his emotions took over. “Carpe breastum,” he said to himself, closing his eyes. “Seize the breast!”

  “Huh?” Knox heard Chris say to Chet.

  “I didn’t say anything,” Chet said.

  The pair continued to kiss while Knox felt his hand, drawn by a powerful magnetic force, reach out and lightly stroke the nape of Chris’s neck, then down toward her breast. He dropped his head back and closed his eyes while he slowly caressed Chris.

  Thinking that Chet’s hands were on her, Chris responded eagerly and Knox started breathing heavily. “Oh, Chet, that feels fabulous,” Chris said in the dark.

  “It does?” Chet sounded surprised. “What?”

  “You know,” she said secretively.

  Knox pulled his hand away. Chet looked up for a moment and then kissed Chris again. “Don’t stop, Chet,” Chris moaned.

  “Stop what?”

  “Chet …”

  Knox put his hand back on Chris’s neck and started rubbing her, gently moving down toward her breast.

  “Oh, oh,” Chris moaned.

  Chet pulled hack, trying to figure out what Chris was talking about, but he gave up and started to kiss her again. Chris moaned with pleasure.

  Knox leaned his head back on the sofa. His breathing was slow and deep. The sound of the music in the room grew louder. Unable to resist, he rubbed Chris’s chest, getting dangerously close to her breast. Chris was breathing hard now, too. Knox felt himself slip into ecstasy just as his glass fell out of his hand.

  Suddenly, Chet’s hand grabbed Knox’s hand, and a lamp light rudely flicked on. Knox sat face to face with a furious Chet and Chris, who was totally confused.

  “What are you doing?” Chet yelled.

  “Knox?” Chris shielded her eyes from the sudden light.

  “Chet! Chris!” Knox said, pretending to be surprised. “What are you doing here?”

  “Why you …” Chet screamed. He smashed Knox in the face with his fist, grabbed him by the shirt and, throwing him to the floor, jumped on him. He began swinging at Knox’s face, which Knox tried desperately to protect. “You little jerk!” Chet shouted. Chris tried to pull him away.

  “Chet, you don’t have to hurt him,” Chris said. Chet’s fist hit Knox over and over again.

  “Chet, stop! He didn’t mean anything!” Chris cried. She pushed Chet off. Knox rolled over, holding his face. “That’s enough,” Chris yelled, banging on Chet’s chest, trying to get him away.

  Chet stood over Knox, who lay limply holding his bloody nose and bruised face. “I’m sorry, Chris, I’m sorry,” Knox cried.

  “You want some more, you little … Huh? Get the hell out of here!”

  Chet moved at Knox again, but Chris and some of the others held him back. Several of the kids led Knox out of the room.

  Staggering toward the kitchen, Knox turned and yelled, drunkenly, “Chris, I’m sorry!”

  “Next time I see you, you’re dead!” Chet screamed.

  The Dead Poets Society was still convened, unaware that one of its pledges was in deep trouble.

  In the cave the fire burned brightly, casting eerie shadows on the walls. Gloria sat with her arm around Charlie, staring at him in adoration. The bottle of whiskey passed between Tina and the others.

  “Hey guys, why don’t you show Tina the Dead Poets garden?” Charlie said, nodding toward the cave entrance.

  “Garden?” Meeks said, sounding surprised.

  “What garden?” Pitts echoed.

  Charlie silently motioned with his eyes for Pitts and the others to get lost. Neil caught on and elbowed Pitts, who got the hint.

  “Oh, right. That garden. Come on, guys,” he said.

  “This is so strange!” Tina said, sounding confused. “You guys even have a garden?”

  Everyone had left the cave except Meeks, who stood around looking baffled. “What are you guys talking about?” Meeks asked. Charlie stared at him with daggers in his eyes. “Charles, uh, Nuwanda, we don’t have a garden,” Meeks said.

  Neil came back in and pulled Meeks out. “Come on, you idiot!” Neil laughed.

  Charlie waited for them to go. He looked at Gloria and smiled. “God, for a smart guy, he’s so stupid!”

  Gloria stared into Charlie’s eyes. Charlie smiled. “I think he’s sweet,” she said.

  “I think you’re sweet,” Charlie sighed, closing his eyes and leaning in slowly to kiss her. Just as his lips brushed hers, Gloria stood up.

  “You know what really excites me about you?” she asked.

  Blinking, Charlie looked up. “What?”

  “Every guy that I meet wants me for one thing.... You’re not like that.”

  “I’m not?”

  “No!” she smiled. “Anybody else would have been all over me by now. Make me up some more poetry,” she said.

  “But …” Charlie stammered.

  “Please! It’s so wonderful to be appreciated for … you know … what you have inside.” Charlie groaned and put his hand over his face. Gloria turned and looked at him. “Nuwanda? Please …?”

  “All right! I’m thinking!” He paused for a moment, then recited:

  “Let me not to the marriage of true minds

  Admit impediments. Love is not love

  Which alters when it alteration finds,

  Or bends with the remover to remove.”

  Gloria moaned with satisfaction. “Don’t stop!” Charlie continued to recite as Gloria’s moans grew louder.

  “O, no, it is an ever-fixéd mark

  That looks on tempests and is never shaken;

  It is the star to every wandering bark,

  Whose worth’s unknown, although his height be taken …”

  “This is better than sex any day,” Gloria cried. “This is ROMANCE!”

  Charlie’s eyes rolled in frustration, but he continued to recite poems well into the night.

  The next day, the entire student body was summoned to the Welton Academy Chapel. A buzz droned among the boys as they moved into their seats, passing copies of school newspapers among themselves.

  Knox Overstreet sat down trying to hide his bru
ised and swollen face. Neil, Todd, Pitts, Meeks, Cameron, and especially Charlie wore faces drawn with exhaustion. Pitts stifled a yawn as he handed Charlie a briefcase.

  “All set,” Pitts whispered. Charlie nodded.

  Dean Nolan entered the chapel as the students quickly put away all the newspapers and stood. Nolan took long strides to the podium and motioned for the boys to sit down. He cleared his throat loudly.

  “In this week’s issue of WELTON HONORS there appeared an unauthorized and profane article about the need for girls at Welton. Rather than spend my valuable time ferreting out the guilty parties—and let me assure you I will find them—I am asking any and all students who know anything about this article to make themselves known here and now. Whoever the guilty persons are, this is your only chance to avoid expulsion from this school.”

  Nolan stood silently, waiting for a response. Suddenly, the sound of a telephone ringing broke the heavy silence. Charlie briskly lifted the briefcase into his lap and opened it. Inside was the ringing telephone. The students whispered in hushed astonishment. No one had ever done something this outrageous at Welton! Undaunted, Charlie answered the phone.

  “Welton Academy, hello?” he said for all to hear. “Yes, he is, just a moment. Mr. Nolan, it’s for you,” Charlie said with mock seriousness.

  The dean’s face turned beet-red. “What?” Nolan screeched.

  Charlie held the receiver out to Nolan. “It’s God. He said we should have girls at Welton,” Charlie said into the phone as a blast of laughter from the students filled the old stone chapel.

  The dean did not hesitate to react to the stunt. Before he knew it, Charlie found himself standing in the middle of Nolan’s office as the dean paced furiously. “Wipe that smirk off your face,” Nolan hissed. “Who else was involved in this?”

  “No one, sir,” Charlie said. “It was just me. I do the proofing for the paper, so I inserted my article instead of Rob Crane’s.”

  “Mr. Dalton,” Nolan said, “if you think you’re the first one to try to get thrown out of this school, think again. Others have had similar notions and they have failed just as surely as you will fail. Assume the position.”