NERDS: National Espionage, Rescue, and Defense Society

by Michael Buckley

  Jackson knew what he had to do. “Well, why don’t you walk us out?”

  “What?” the Hyena cried. “You’re giving up just like that?”

  “He’s right,” Ms. Holiday said. “It’s best if you leave this to the professionals.”

  The children followed her toward the door, but just as they stepped through, Jackson grabbed the Hyena and pulled her back. Then he slammed a button on the wall, and the door slid down from the ceiling, locking the librarian out of the room.

  “Jackson, you open this door this instant!” she demanded.

  “Sorry, Ms. Holiday, but there’s only one guy who can save the team, and you know it.”

  Jackson leaped into the chair. Straps wrapped around his feet as Holiday pounded on the door.

  “Are you sure about this, Jackson?” Benjamin asked.

  Jackson nodded. “I’m sure.”

  “Commence scanning,” Benjamin said.

  A moment later lasers swept over Jackson’s body.

  “Physical attributes are above normal range. Continuing to scan for weaknesses.”

  “What is this thing doing to you?” the Hyena cried.

  A blue orb began to spin on the panel in front of Jackson, and a moment later a holographic skeleton was floating before his eyes.

  “Benjamin, I hate to be impatient, but can we skip this? Just give me the deal you gave me before.”

  “Very well, except there is one thing,” Benjamin said.

  “What?”

  “Subject’s code name?”

  Jackson took a deep breath and let out a sigh. “Call me Braceface.”

  Machines dropped from the ceiling and wrapped around his body. Soon his mouth was forced open by rubber hooks.

  He turned to the Hyena. “You might want to step back and maybe avert your eyes. This isn’t pretty.”

  “Think pleasant thoughts,” Benjamin reminded him.

  “Oh, this is so gross,” the Hyena groaned.

  WELL, WELL, WELL … LOOK WHO

  HAS COME CRAWLING BACK FOR

  SECURITY CLEARANCE. YOU HAVE

  A LOT OF NERVE, BUSTER. WHY

  SHOULD I HELP YOU? WHAT’S

  IN IT FOR ME? YOU KNOW,

  THIS JOB DOESN’T PAY THAT

  WELL AND TIMES ARE TOUGH.

  YOU COUGH UP SOME CASH

  AND MAYBE WE CAN TALK.

  NO, I WOULDN’T CALL IT

  BLACKMAIL. I’D CALL IT A

  BUSINESS OPPORTUNITY. YOU GET

  LEVEL 9 CLEARANCE AND I GET

  A LITTLE COIN IN MY POCKET.

  EVERYBODY WINS. YOU THINK

  ABOUT IT, AND WHEN YOU’VE

  MADE YOUR DECISION, TAPE

  SOME MONEY TO THE SENSOR.

  THAT’S MORE LIKE IT.

  I’M GLAD WE COULD COME

  TO AN UNDERSTANDING. NOW,

  LET’S GET PAST ALL THAT

  UNPLEASANTNESS AND

  MOVE ON … OH YEAH,

  LEVEL 9.

  ACCESS GRANTED!

  Ten minutes later Jackson was on his feet and staggering through the door. Ms. Holiday was standing nearby. It was the first time he had ever seen her angry.

  “I can do this, Ms. Holiday,” Jackson said.

  “I know!” she replied. “But I don’t have to like it.”

  “I’ve got it,” a scientist shouted as he rushed into the room. He was carrying a vat of something in one hand and a spoon in the other.

  “I don’t have to eat the creamed corn again, do I?” Jackson begged.

  Holiday nodded. “You volunteered.”

  Jackson opened the lid and looked into the half-empty container. The slick yellow-gray substance swooshed around, releasing a noxious fume. It took all of his courage, but he dipped a spoon into it and shoveled a heaping helping into his mouth.

  Jackson tossed the rest of the creamed corn to the floor and snatched the Hyena by the hand. “You ready to save the world?”

  The Hyena nodded.

  “OK, I have to make one stop.”

  Mr. Jones loved his dog Butch, but even he wasn’t stupid enough to give him a bath. After several attempts and a few tetanus shots, he had devised a clever way to clean the dog and stay healthy. He pelted the dog with soap-filled water balloons and sprayed him with a hose from a safe distance. He had Chaz stand by as backup in case Butch got off his chain and wanted revenge.

  Tossing the balloons also allowed him to have some fun with Chaz and to relive his glory days on the football field. Before he was injured, Jackson’s dad was on his way to Ohio State University to play quarterback for the Buckeyes.

  This evening, as he and his son tossed the balloons at the dog, he imagined himself marching down the field with the stadium on its feet. Just as they were getting the hose ready, they heard a roaring sound that seemed to be coming from directly above Mr. Jones. When he looked to the sky, he saw some sort of bright orange machine. He wondered if his imagination was playing tricks on him. But then a moment later the machine landed on the front lawn.

  Astounded, Mr. Jones waved the garden hose as if it might help him fight off the aliens that were invading the cul-de-sac. The door on the machine’s side opened, and a metal plank lowered to the ground. A moment later his son Jackson stepped out, followed by a strange girl.

  “Jackson,” his father said.

  “Dad, do you remember the breakdown I had in Mr. Dehaven’s office?”

  “Yes,” he said.

  “Well, it wasn’t a breakdown. I really am a secret agent. Everything I said about my bad grades and being late and failing fifth grade was the truth. But I made a decision. You need to know what’s going on with me, and maybe it’s not going to be popular with my boss, but I’m not going to lie to you. I may have to lie to everyone else in the world, but not you.”

  “Jackson, this is crazy,” his father said. “And perhaps you’d like to introduce your girlfriend to me.”

  Jackson’s face turned bright red. “This isn’t my girlfriend, Dad,” he said.

  “I’m actually a professional assassin,” the Hyena said as she reached out and shook the man’s hand. “It’s a pleasure.”

  “Likewise,” said Mr. Jones.

  “Hey,” Chaz said. She nodded back to him.

  “So, we have to get going,” Jackson said to hurry things along. “The world is under attack. If we don’t stop it, lots of people are going to die.”

  “What are you telling me, Jackson?”

  “I’m going to be late for dinner,” he said as he turned back to the rocket. The Hyena waved and stepped inside. Jackson followed. A moment later, the machine was blasting off once more.

  “Uh, Dad? Since we’re confessing things, I should probably tell you I got cut from the football team,” Chaz said.

  But his father was busy staring up at the stream of smoke rising into the heavens.

  As Jackson and the Hyena came back down out of the stratosphere, they saw the icy landscape of the North Pole before them. Ms. Holiday had programmed the exact coordinates into the ship’s autopilot program, and while they were airborne the kids took the opportunity to step into the cold-weather gear the librarian had provided. There was also the librarian’s usual addition of home-baked cookies and thermoses of hot cocoa.

  “Uh, you might want to skip the cookie,” Jackson said just before the Hyena bit into hers.

  “These are rock-hard. I think I might have lost a tooth!” she cried.

  “She means well,” Jackson replied.

  The Hyena tossed her cookie against a wall, and it left a dent. “Here’s what you need to know. The fortress is built like a huge tower and has dozens of rooms inside, but Jigsaw’s lab is in the back. It’s enormous and has an observation room that overlooks it. The kidnapped scientists are held in cells and watched by armed guards. Dr. Jigsaw has about a hundred goons and about five hundred henchmen on his payroll. There’s not much in the way of security, but with so many people it’s not going to be easy to slip in unnot
iced. But I think—”

  Wham!

  Something hit the side of the School Bus so hard it knocked them to the floor. Their ears filled with sirens, and their eyes filled with flashing red lights. When they got back into the pilots’ seats, they found the control panel was partially fried and sparks were showering over everything. A radar screen dropped out of the ceiling. On it were three angry red dots.

  “What’s going on?” the Hyena cried.

  Benjamin’s voice chirped through speakers. “It appears the ship is under attack. Three stealth warplanes are in pursuit. I suggest you take evasive maneuvers.”

  Suddenly, there was another loud siren screaming a warning, and the words INCOMING MISSILE appeared on a screen.

  Jackson grabbed the rocket’s throttle and pushed down. The jet jerked to a ninety-degree angle. The missile came within inches of the School Bus before slamming into the icy ground below. “These controls are sensitive,” he muttered.

  “Here comes another one.”

  Jackson banked left and the School Bus followed. Unfortunately, the missile followed him into the turn. He banked right and there it was again.

  “I believe the missile chasing you is of the heat-seeking variety,” Benjamin said.

  “So what do I do?” Jackson asked.

  “I suppose you should try to outrun it.”

  Jackson growled. “Thanks,” he said as he sent the ship into a nosedive. The missile, according to the radar, was only seconds away.

  “What are you doing?” the Hyena cried. “Pull up or you’ll kill us.”

  “Relax, I’ve done this in video games a million times,” Jackson said and kept the nose of the plane aimed at the ground. More warning sirens filled the air, screaming for him to pull up, but he ignored them as well. And just when it seemed like they would crash for sure, he pulled up and cleared the ground. The missile didn’t have the same agility as the School Bus, and exploded on the ice below.

  “I’m so awesome!” Jackson cried.

  “Celebrate later,” the Hyena said, and pointed to another missile warning on the radar screen.

  The missile hit, sheering the right wing off the rocket.

  “What’s your next brilliant idea?” the Hyena said.

  “Are you talking to me or the computer?” Jackson asked.

  “Whichever one is going to get us out of this alive,” the girl said, just as another missile slammed into the jet.

  Bright red words appeared on the monitor. They read CRITICAL SYSTEMS FAILURE. ABANDON SHIP.

  “OK. You don’t have to tell me more than once,” Jackson said. He helped the Hyena unbuckle her seat belt and together they dashed into the cabin. A panel above their heads slid open and two parachute packs fell at their feet. They helped each other into the gear, then rushed to the door. The wind outside howled and pulled at them with invisible fingers.

  “You ever jump out of a plane before?” the Hyena asked.

  Jackson nodded his head. “It’s kind of become a regular thing these days.”

  She leaped out of the open door and was gone.

  Jackson saw her drop like a rock and a moment later her chute opened. Jackson followed, and after several seconds of freefalling he pulled the cord on his chute and jerked as the fabric opened above him. It was bitingly cold, even through his gear, and his fingers quickly grew numb. But he had little time to worry about them. He heard an explosion, and saw a massive fire erupt on the School Bus. A third missile had slammed into the jet, and it broke in half like a child’s toy. It plunged to the ice below.

  When the ground rose up to meet Jackson, he fell over hard and rolled wildly, blinded by the snow in his goggles, until at last he came to a stop.

  “Don’t move a muscle,” the Hyena said. He could hear her nearby but could not see her through his goggles.

  “Can you believe it? We both survived,” he said happily. He pulled his goggles off and brushed off the snow. That’s when he saw what had triggered the Hyena’s warning. Standing over them was a mountain of fur and claws—a nine-foot-tall polar bear with glistening yellow fangs and coal-black claws.

  “What part of ‘don’t move a muscle’ didn’t you understand?” the Hyena said.

  “Uh, moving seems like a really good idea to me,” Jackson said. “I think you’re supposed to run from a polar bear.”

  “No, I think we’re supposed to stare it in the eye,” the Hyena replied.

  “I’m sure that’s a dog. What about jumping up and down and beating on our chests?”

  “Gorillas.”

  “Fudge,” Jackson said. “Well, I vote for running very fast!”

  Jackson turned to the Hyena and grabbed her hand. The two took off at a sprint, but the icy terrain didn’t make it easy. The polar bear, however, navigated the ground rapidly and with ease.

  “We’re not going to outrun this thing. It’s fast,” the Hyena said.

  “Don’t you have some kind of weapon on you? You are an assassin,” Jackson said through gasps of the frosty air.

  “Me? You’re the superspy. Use that disgusting mouth thing of yours and kill it,” the Hyena cried.

  “I’m pretty sure polar bears are endangered,” Jackson said. “It’s illegal to kill them.”

  “It’s trying to kill us!” the Hyena shouted.

  But the polar bear wasn’t their only problem. In their mad dash to escape, they were running straight for the burning rocket. The explosive heat coming from the wreckage was rapidly warming the ice around it. When Jackson finally noticed where they were headed, he realized he had to choose between two horrible deaths. So he stopped.

  “What are you doing?” the Hyena cried, trying to drag him along.

  “It’s time to see what I’m capable of,” he said.

  The braces swirled in his mouth and morphed into a huge shield just as the bear reached them. The shield blocked the beast’s deadly blows, and sparks flew off in all directions. The polar bear roared with anger and swung again—with similar results. The impact caused a little irritation to Jackson’s teeth, but for the most part he realized he could probably defend them from the hulking animal for the rest of the day. “Problem solved,” he bragged.

  “Look!” the Hyena cried.

  Jackson turned his head to see that the burning rocket had sent ribbons of cracks snaking through the ice they were standing upon. One of the cracks was fast approaching.

  “This is just not cool,” the Hyena said as the crack zipped between her feet. She stepped to the left as the pieces of ice began to separate. Jackson did the same. However, the polar bear was not so clever. The crack widened beneath it, and a moment later the big animal splashed into the water and vanished.

  The pair now found themselves on a chunk of ice that had broken off completely from the rest of the sheet. The once-solid ice sheet was beginning to resemble a jigsaw puzzle. Worse, the ice was taking them farther and farther from Dr. Jigsaw’s fortress.

  Jackson’s braces started to swirl once more and out sprang the four familiar spiderlike legs. He grabbed the Hyena by the waist, and the two rose into the air. The legs stepped over to the next chunk of ice.

  “You know, this little gizmo of yours is very cool,” the Hyena said. “But it’s not going to help you with girls.”

  Jackson rolled his eyes and said nothing. He concentrated on the legs, willing them to step to the next block of ice. They were making steady progress, but unfortunately the chunks of ice were drifting farther apart. Soon they reached a gap that was just too far across for Jackson’s metal legs to carry them over. He remembered Ruby’s advice, about really focusing on his braces, and that he had control over what they did. He set the Hyena down on their chunk of ice and focused. His braces shot out of his mouth in all directions and wildly went to work assembling his vision. They morphed and twisted before his eyes, and when they were done he had built a small boat with an outboard motor around himself. The Hyena climbed aboard. No sooner was she seated than the boat started pushing t
hrough the waves toward the fortress. When they reached the solid chunk of ice near the fortress, their speed sent them skidding onshore.

  “Tell me that wasn’t cool,” Jackson crowed as his braces slid back onto his teeth.

  “Save the celebration for later,” the Hyena replied.

  “How do we get into this place?”

  “Let us show you the way,” a voice said behind them. When they spun around to see who it was, they were met with fists to the face. Jackson and the Hyena fell to the ground. Just as everything went black, Jackson heard his partner grumble two words.

  “Dumb Vinci.”

  Jackson awoke on a lumpy cot under a bright fluorescent lamp. His head felt full of gravy, and his nose was running. Every joint in his body ached. He pulled himself up and waited patiently for his eyes to adjust to the blinding light. Soon, he could see his surroundings more clearly, though there wasn’t much to see. He was in a windowless room with gray walls and a concrete floor. The Hyena was sitting cross-legged on the cot next to him.

  “Good morning, sleepyhead,” she said.

  “Where are we?”

  “Well, there’s good news and bad news. The good news is we are inside Jigsaw’s fortress. The bad news is he has locked us in a back room and there’s no way out. At least, no way I could find. You, however, have the superbraces. Why don’t you use them to knock down the door?”

  Jackson got to his feet but fell back on the bed with an awkward thump. He was still woozy.

  “Easy, big shot,” the Hyena continued. She got up from her cot and helped him to his feet.

  They stepped to the door and Jackson studied it. There wasn’t a doorknob—only a single metal panel. They opened it and found a tiny hole not even big enough for a key.

  “OK, back up,” Jackson warned. “This might get violent.”