Only Me: A Surprisingly Safe Book

by Ayers, Brandy

  “Don’t worry, sugar, my husband keeps me plenty satisfied, you’re both saved from the thrill that is Zsa Zsa in the bedroom.” Zsa waves her fingers at Butch by the door, and he blows her a kiss back. They are seriously the cutest couple ever.

  “Butch is your husband?”

  “Yeah, Farm Boy. You got a problem with that?” Zsa Zsa rises to her full height, and Zeke’s eyes widen even further.

  “No. None. Sorry, just, this is a different world from where I grew up. It’ll take some adjusting.” Zeke looks genuinely sheepish at his reaction to our DJ being married to our big bear of a bouncer. But he holds his hand out to Zsa Zsa. “I hope you’ll be patient with me as I learn, ma’am.”

  I’m not sure I’ve ever seen Zsa smile so big at anyone other than her husband. She shakes Zeke’s hand, then pushes me closer to him. “Okay, you two get out of here. I’ll get Roxy to help wait tables.”

  I start to object because Roxy is a seriously awful waitress, but before I can, Zeke has me swept up into his arms once again and is practically running for the door. “Thanks, see you tomorrow,” I yell just before we get to the hall leading to the back entrance.

  “You have a car here?” Zeke’s voice is suddenly hard, his body tense, but I have no clue why.

  “Yes. It’s parked out back.”

  He practically kicks the door to the office in and stomps to the desk. “Keys?”

  I point to the closet to the left of the entrance, and he stomps over, shifting me slightly as he wrenches the door open. “Get them.”

  “You can put me down.”

  “No,” he growls.

  “Are you mad at me or something?” A squirming starts in my belly at the mere idea that Zeke might be angry. Not because I’m scared or anything, but because I suddenly realize I only want him to be happy.

  Zeke pulls in a deep breath, causing my body to rise along with his chest. As he blows the breath out, a rush of words come with it. “It’s just all so strong. I’ve never felt emotions like this before. I’ve never acted like this before. But it feels like if I don’t get you home right now and mark you as mine in some permanent way that my heart is going to try and claw its way out of my chest just to be closer to you.”

  “Then take me home.” I grab my purse from the hook in the closet, and Zeke turns on his heels, racing for the back door with my directions.

  He places me into the passenger seat of my car like I’m spun gold and I’m so stunned at being made to feel so delicate and precious that I don’t even protest when he gets behind the wheel of my car without asking if he can drive. I’ll let it slide this time, but I hope he doesn’t think this whole driving me around thing is going to become a habit.

  Since the house is only a few miles away we’re home before the speeding rate of my heart can calm even a little.

  “Stay there, I’ll open your door,” Zeke instructs.

  But I’m already opening my door. “No time for that, get me inside. Then get inside me.”

  We both run up the porch steps and Zeke fumbles with my keys looking for the right one to open the front door. Finally, I take them from his hand and do it myself. As soon as the door swings open I’m up in Zeke’s arms as he shuts the door with a backward kick. Then he’s bounding up the stairs with me still in his arms.

  “Put me down. You’re going to hurt yourself. My room is on the third floor.” I try to push against his chest, but I might as well be trying to push a broken down sixteen-wheeler along the road. He doesn’t even flinch.

  “I know where our room is.”

  “Our room?”

  He laughs a little and rounds the corner to the next set of stairs leading up to my attic oasis. I fucking love this room. Murray and Luther knew I would need a space of my own when I started my pre-teen years and the house started filling with homeless LGBT teens. Renovating the long-ignored attic took almost a year, but it turned out perfectly. The only things I’ve changed in the eight years since moving into to the top floor is trading in my twin bed for a queen and getting rid of some stuffed animals.

  Zeke is hardly even breathing hard by the time we make it up the final set of stairs. And I’m a pretty big girl, so that is saying something about the level of his stamina and strength. Before I know it, I’m flying through the air to come to a bouncing stop in the center of the bed. Zeke crawls on after me and grabs both my shoes, throwing them to the floor behind him. Getting the hint, I quickly sit up and rip my shirt up and over my head just as he grips my skirt to tug it down my legs. My bra and panties come next and working together we get me naked in literally seconds.

  Then everything comes to a screeching halt.

  7

  Zeke

  Never in all my life have I seen something as beautiful as Casey Hughes naked and sprawled out on the bed before me. I’d been in a damn frenzy to get her in this state, now that she is, I have no idea what to do.

  I’ve never seen a girl completely naked before. Never. Not porn, not even in a regular old R rated movie. I’m more of a book guy. After leaving the compound and being disowned by my parents, I worked near constantly to support myself. When I wasn’t working, I was reading. Plus, it was hard to shake the voices of my mother and stepfather in my head saying I would go to hell for thinking impure thoughts. But looking at this angel laid out before me, I know nothing about this could be wrong or sinful.

  I push up my glasses, eager to get a better look. Maybe I should have been studying up on women and sex because I have no fucking clue what to do now. There are so many luscious parts of her, where do I start? Her tits are round and heavy, sloping down and to the side slightly under their own weight. I want to pick them up in my hands, push them together and run my tongue down the groove they would make. Is that something people do?

  My eyes continue down to her belly, her hips. I want to kiss her there too. Hold on tight to her hips when I put my dick inside her for the first time. I’ve already had a front-row viewing of her pussy, but even seeing it now, my dick nearly explodes in my pants. She’s puffy and pink and glistening with the moisture leaking from her body. My mouth waters wanting to lick up all that sweet nectar again.

  The debate wages on in my brain right up until Casey’s legs move together, shielding the perfect sight from my eyes. Her arms cross over her chest and hide those luscious tits from me. I swing my eyes back to her face and find her bottom lip quivering and her eyes brimming with tears.

  “What did I do wrong? Did I hurt you?” I inch forward on my knees, nauseous with the thought I might have caused her some sort of harm while I tore the clothes from her body.

  “You’re just sitting there not talking. And you look, I don’t know, confused. Like you’re trying to figure out something about the way I look.” She reaches to the side, groping for the edge of the blanket. “I know I don’t look like the other girls at the club. That’s one of the reasons I’ve never gotten on stage to dance also because I’m completely uncoordinated. If you thought I’d look like them, I’m sorry to disappoint.”

  Understanding dawns on me. I’d been sitting there like an idiot dazed by the sheer beauty of the woman I somehow only met today but already love so much. And she mistook my look of wonder for something else. “No.” I grab her wrists and pin them to the bed on either side of her body, looming over her. “Don’t cover yourself. You are the most amazing… the most gorgeous…” My mouth opens and closes searching for the right words. The perfect words to let her know exactly how much I treasure her, but instead a stream of nonsense rambling spills out. “You are the best thing I’ve ever seen in my life. I look at you, and I don’t know how I got this lucky. I don’t deserve you. I’m an uneducated construction worker that grew up sheltered from everything by hyper-religious parents. You’re this confident, curvy, beautiful creature with more knowledge of things like sex and men than I even know exists. I don’t want to disappoint you. Ever.”

  Through my speech her body has relaxed by degrees, going pliant and warm be
neath me. Her eyes are still watering, but they’re no longer glazed with sadness or uncertainty, but tenderness. Love. “I told you I’m a virgin too. I may know more about the parts and how they work, but being raised around a bunch of gay men and guys getting their rocks off in a strip club didn’t exactly give me a ton of opportunities at romance.” Her pale skin flushes and she squirms beneath me. “But, what you did in the office earlier was… mind-blowing. I think I’ll like everything you do to me.”

  I give her most of my weight, letting her feel exactly the effect seeing her has on my body. “Feel that?”

  She nods, biting her lip and the blush deepening to a rich crimson.

  “I’m going to put this cock so deep inside you, you’ll forget we aren’t one person. You’ll walk around feeling me there for days. Is that what you want?” I rock against her, the barrier of my jeans and boxers doing nothing to lessen the impending orgasm building in my balls.

  “Yes. Zeke, please.” She goes to move her hands, but because I still have her pinned, she can’t. For some reason, that little bit of struggle gets my blood pumping even harder. Her eyes go wide, and she presses her hips up, fighting my hold on her wrists a little more.

  “You’ll get it, Spitfire. But when I decide it’s time.” I lean down, finally taking the kiss I’ve been thinking about since first seeing her. Hell, since first hearing her voice. It’s not a gentle thing. It’s rough and intense. I dive my tongue into her mouth, swallow her gasps and moans. It’s my first kiss, and I know I’ll remember this for the rest of my life. Not just because it’s my first, but because this is the beginning of the rest of my life.

  I thought when I finally got around to talking to women, to having sex, I’d be shy and gentle. But Casey brings out my true self. The possessive, rough man inside that needs to hold his woman down and give her everything she needs. This can’t be right, this pulsing need to dominate. But beneath me, Casey’s eating it up, loving that my weight is holding her down. I can tell because her soaked little pussy has leaked all over my jeans.

  Rearing back, so I’m sitting on my heels, I rip off my T-shirt and toss it to the side. Dropping my hands to my sides, I lean back a little farther, letting Casey see the body that will be at her disposal for pleasure or anything else she desires, for the rest of her life. I’m not cut like some men, I’ve never been able to afford a gym membership. But I run every day and do hard manual labor ten hours a day five days a week, so I’m no slouch either. Casey’s now free hands tremble as she runs them over the hard-packed muscles in my torso, up to the soft coating of hair over my pecs.

  I can see why Casey had let self-doubt inch into her brain a few moments ago. Exposing yourself to the person you want to love you most is damn scary. But I can tell by her wide eyes and heaving breaths that she likes what she sees.

  “Take my cock out.” I thrust my hips up slightly, giving her free access to the fly of my jeans.

  “What?” She looks confused but trails her fingers down the center of my abs, following the smattering of hair that leads down into my pants.

  “Open my pants and take my cock out. I want to watch the first time you hold a cock in your hand.” I twitch in my pants at just the thought of her soft hands wrapping around that hard piece of me that has been largely ignored my whole life.

  With her bottom lip tucked between her teeth, Casey carefully unbuttons my jeans and slides the zipper down. She peels both sides of the denim away to reveal my black boxer briefs. My heart races as she grips the waistband of my underwear and drags them slowly, slowly, down until the part of me made specifically for her springs free, slapping against my abs.

  “Holy guacamole,” she whispers under her breath, and I don't think I was meant to hear that.

  But I did, and I can’t help but laugh, the extreme tension in the room breaking for a moment. “The first time you see my cock, and you say holy guacamole? Man, I wish this was an appropriate story to tell our grandkids.”

  She blushes and closes her eyes, but then she’s reaching for my cock, stroking over the head with her thumb, spreading my precum around the crown. “Sorry, you’re just so big, I’ve never seen one in real life before.” Her legs pulse against my legs where I’m holding them closed beneath me as if they’re already trying to make room for me. “I don’t think you’ll fit.”

  Shit. I hadn’t thought of that. The last thing I want to do is make this painful for her. The little I was told about sex growing up was that the women didn’t like it, it was just part of their duty to their husbands. But that thought burns in my brain, making me hate the man who pretended to be my father all those years even more. Because I know now, if you truly love the woman you are with, you’d do anything to spare them discomfort, including ignoring your own needs.

  “Don’t worry. We don’t have to do that if you don’t want to.” I slide down her body, bringing my face to her pussy, still a little puffy from my time worshipping it earlier. “I can lick you forever, and I’d die a happy man.”

  Just as I’m slinging her legs over my shoulders, Casey threads her fingers through my hair and starts yanking on it, trying to pull my mouth away from her weeping sex. “No, Zeke, I want you inside me. Need you there. I know it might hurt a little. But I think it will feel amazing then. After the pain.”

  I groan, rubbing my face in the crease where her leg meets her body. “I hate the thought of you hurting. Whether by me or someone else. I don’t know that I can do that to you, as much as I want to be inside you.”

  “Roll over.” Casey wiggles beneath me, pushing at my chest. I hate the thought of not being on top of her, but I’ll give this woman anything she asks for, including rolling onto my back. As soon as I settle, Casey throws her leg over my hips and straddles my cock. “If you can’t bring yourself to give me a little pain for all that pleasure, I’ll do it myself.”

  She strokes me from base to tip three more times, then presses my cock against my stomach. I’m confused until she sits on top of it and starts grinding her wet pussy lips up and down the underside of my cock. With each downswing, my tip nudges her clit, and she lets out a gasp that morphs into a moan.

  “I don't think this is how we do it, my love.” She grinds down harder, and I watch in fascination as my head peeks out between her lower lips after each thrust of her hips. “But this is good too.” Holy shit, I don't think I’ll last. There’s a tingling racing down my spine, arms and legs. It all seems to be racing toward my groin, where everything inside me is begging to release in a stream of cum. But I hold back, not wanting this to end yet. It fucking hurts though.

  “Need to come one more time. Make it all wet and soft for you.” Casey continues her not so dry humping on top of me, grabbing my hands and bringing them up to her chest. “Feel me, Zeke. Touch me however you want.”

  Fuck. If that doesn’t sound like the invitation to heaven, I don't know what does. Her hands fall away to brace herself on my chest and lean her tits harder into my palms, which is when I take over. I roll her nipples between my fingers, push the creamy mounds together and massage them with my calloused hands. Everything I do makes her moan louder and louder, and the space between her legs wetter and wetter. Soon she's so slippery that with each glide of her pussy over my cock, the head nudges into her tight opening just a little before she slides it back up again. Over and over she almost takes me inside, but then denies me. It’s driving me insane, the need to be inside that warm wet place overriding my fears of hurting her.

  I pinch her nipples between my fingers, and she comes with a scream, her back arching and her eyes squeezing shut. Her cream coats my cock and I can’t take it anymore. I sit up, wrap my arms around her body and reverse our positions so she’s flat on her back and I give her all my weight. Angling my hips up I grip the base of my dick and slam home.

  Still, in the midst of her orgasm, Casey barely flinches as I stuff her full with every single inch of me. Her eyes fly open, and her mouth gapes. I want so badly to hold myself back, to fuck h
er into oblivion like I’ve heard so many guys on the sites talk about, but there’s no fucking way I can hold back now that I’m buried balls deep inside her. There is no feeling like being surrounded by her hot flesh, and I let go, emptying thick ropes of cum straight into her still pulsing pussy.

  I collapse on top of her as the pure power of my climax wrecks my body. Instead of being disappointed, Casey strokes her hands down my back and grips my ass in her hands, pulling me just a little bit deeper. “Yes, give it all to me Zeke.”

  8

  Casey

  Zeke gasps, struggling to regain his breathe after what has to be the most intense moment of both our lives. I’ve masturbated a few times before but never has anything rocked me so deep to my core like that. Everything I’d heard from the girls at the club led me to believe sex the first time would hurt like crazy. That I’d never want to do it again, but it’s the total opposite. I was so out of my mind with my orgasm that I only felt the tiniest pinch as Zeke pushed into me for the first time.

  I felt full to the brim, but not in an uncomfortable way, in a complete way. Then he started coming almost right away, and the hot flood of his cum inside me set off all these little tremors, I couldn’t get enough.

  “We didn’t use a condom.” The words fly from my mouth at the same time the thought pops into my head.

  Zeke leans his head back a little, his eyes hooded and completed sated. “Never want one of those things between us. I’ve never even bought one. I don’t plan on starting now.”

  There are so many condoms hidden away in stashes around this house I have no excuse for not getting one. When you live in a safe house for LGBTQ teens, protection is paramount. Or that is what Murray and Luther always said.

  But I can’t find it in myself to care that we were completely reckless the very first time. “What if I get pregnant?”