“It would take far more time than a four-week voyage to explain the complicated memories this ship calls to mind. Suffice it to say the thoughts are bittersweet. Now, if you two don’t mind keeping each other company, I’d like to rest a while in my cabin. I’m afraid the excitement of leaving has tired me.” A sudden gust of wind caught at her hat and as she secured it with one hand and turned to leave, she threw a parting challenge to Adam. “I think you’ll find Lady Elizabeth a far more lively and spirited conversationalist.”
Beth doubted the statement, watching Adam Warrener stare longingly after her friend. It was clear to everyone except Mariah that the dashing young officer was smitten with her. Once Beth had discovered Mariah's plan to travel to the Crimea, she’d insisted on accompanying her. It would give her a chance to see Tony and her own fiancee. Stuart had backed the idea immediately and Mariah had gratefully accepted her company.
“Tell me, Lady Elizabeth, what makes her look so tragic? On the surface Lady Mariah’s gay enough, but one can sense the sadness smoldering below.”
Adam was obviously puzzled by Mariah’s attitude, but as Beth briefly sketched the story of Mariah’s recent loss, he nodded sympathetically. She offered no cause for the miscarriage, feeling that it was none of his business.
“She must miss her husband a great deal to join him so soon after an illness.” Adam casually tossed out the statement in hopes of finding out the condition of Mariah' relationship with the viscount.
“Mariah’s always held my admiration, Lieutenant, beneath that soft, lovely face, she’s a tower of strength. I truly believe there’s nothing she would be afraid to attempt, once she put her mind to it.”
Lying on the somewhat uncomfortable bunk in her cabin, Mariah was thinking the opposite thought. Doubts, dredged up by the memories of Jared that the ship had brought back, plagued her. I should have listened to Stuart’s advice. What on earth possessed me to think could face Jared in person? He always managed to overcome her, emotionally as well as physically. She remembered how self-reliant she had been when she made her agreement with him. Jared had made a mockery of her naïve trust, and now their son was lost. As always, when she thought of the child she would never hold, she closed her eyes in misery. Jared’s callous disregard for anyone but himself left her shaken with anger. Would he dare laugh when she faced him, empty and barren while his whore still carried his child? No, not even Jared could be that hardened. Well, they would come out even after the divorce. She would have Jenny and when his child was born in the fall, he could console himself with Del. Bittiness twisted her mouth a moment as she pictured them together. Somehow, they seemed a perfect match, both of them ruthlessly cold and heartless.
I've got to stop this, she thought as her head began to pound furiously. She had to put all such thoughts from her or she would become despondent and ill. Jenny still needs me, I won’t let him destroy that. It was her last thought as she closed her eyes and willed herself to forget.
Fortunate to have good sailing weather with no storms along the way, the Lady Jane reached Gibraltar to restock its supplies, and Mariah, Beth and Adam left the ship for a brief respite from the constant sway of the decks. Finding it almost as hard to walk on land after two weeks at sea, Mariah had to laugh at their unsteady gait. They had time to lunch at a small tavern and then take a carriage ride to sightsee.
Once on board again, Adam told the ladies that they would probably reach Scutari, the small town on the Black Sea across from Constantinople, in less than two weeks. He had managed to keep them amused with witty stories of dowagers forcing their homely, eligible daughters upon him, and with detailed descriptions of the area where they would stay.
Scutari was the headquarters for the main hospital and Mariah was looking forward to meeting Florence Nightingale. Since her contribution of hospital supplies, she had received several letters from the woman and they had begun a lively correspondence. In the hold of the ship were more supplies that Sidney Herbert was sending along.
“I’ve never met Miss Nightingale, but the men all revere her as a saint,” Adam told her. “They all call her the Lady of the Lamp, because she moves about on the fields after a battle, assisting the wounded even after dark.” With a regard for her sensitivity, Adam added,” I wouldn’t go to the hospital if I were you, Lady Mariah, Even with the improvements Miss Nightingale has made, it’s not a place for a lady. I’m afraid you’d find it too shocking.”
“I’m much more strong-willed than you think, Lieutenant, and I certainly do intend to visit the hospital. I’m sure if nothing else, I might be able to offer a bit of solace to some of the wounded men. It seems that is the least I can do.”
A Mrs. Staunton strolled by at that moment with her two daughters and, with a regal nod, continued her exercise. Mariah had to suppress a giggle as Adam mimicked her haughty bearing perfectly. “Really, Adam, Mrs Staunton doesn’t deserve to be made fun of! If you continue, I won’t be able to stop laughing.”
“Then I shall continue,” he insisted. “Laughter enhances your beauty.” Hesitantly, he reached out and touched her hand on the railing. “Will I see you after we reach Scutari, Lady Mariah? I know you’ll be joining your husband, but surely if there’s a social affair and he's on duty, I may escort you?”
I doubt I’ll be staying long. You’re forgetting I have responsibilities in London. I don’t want my daughter to forget she has a mother. However, we’ll see, after we reach Scutari. I would hate to rule out the possibility of enjoying your gallantry further.”
Finally, they sailed north and crossed through the narrow channel that lay between Constantinople and Scutari. Fascinated by the Oriental atmosphere of the huge Moslem city, Mariah found Scutari a disappointment. Everywhere, uniformed officers strolled, mixing in the crowded streets with veiled women and long-robed, Moslem men. With competent authority, Adam saw the ladies off the ship and into a carriage. He had to report to his headquarters first and while the two women waited in the small anteroom, he checked on available lodgings. The commander was so impressed with his credentials from Herbert and a letter of introduction for the ladies that he sought out the best lodgings in Scutari and even accompanied Adam to show them the two-story stucco house.
Mariah and Beth exchanged glances at the sight of it but suppressed their mutual disappointment. By London standards, it was a hovel; but since it was the finest house available, they graciously thanked the colonel.
Before he left, taking Lieutenant Warrener with him Colonel Bridges asked them to a reception to be held the following night at his home. “You’ll be able to meet the other ladies who’ve come to join their husbands. If you aren’t too tired from your trip, I think you’d enjoy it."
Mariah saw the sparkle in Adam’s eyes and although the offer was tempting, she declined. “Beth, you go if you like. I’m sorry, but it all depends on contacting my husband. I’m sure I’ll be occupied for a while—we haven’t seen each other for several months; I’m sure you understand. Colonel.” Beth, unsure whether Tony or Rob could be located so soon, agreed to go and Adam courteously offered to serve as her escort.
The first order of business was unpacking. Anna had come with them and she was put in charge of the servant and cook that came with the house. Sorting through their apparel, Beth inquired when Mariah would contact Jared. “I really think you should have written first, dear,” she ventured.
“Nonsense! Jared deserves a shock! I’ll send a message off to his headquarters, but if I can’t find him, I think I might just attend the party!”
Retiring early, exhausted from the excitement of landing and settling in, Mariah and Beth both slept late the next morning. When they rose, a message was waiting from Tony. Shocked by their sudden arrival, he informed them that Rob would come over to Scutari by boat in the afternoon, but that he himself would be on duty and Rob would escort Beth to the party. Jared was away on a mission for Lord Cardigan but Tony promised he would tell him of the surprise when he returned.
At
two o’clock, Rob arrived and he had a joyous reunion with his fiancee. “You women,” he said, shaking his head, “just like you to pop up without a word!” Holding his hand, Beth managed a pretty half-pout. “Does that mean you’re not happy to see me?”
“Of course not, dear. You’ve just given me a bit of a shock.” Turning to Mariah, he suddenly noticed her slim, unburdened shape. Embarrassed, he quickly glanced away.
Catching his embarrassed flush, Mariah explained, “I lost the baby two months ago. I’m quite recovered now, there’s no reason to blush so.” To change the subject, Mariah brought up Jared. “Tell me, is Jared enjoying his post as attache to Lord Cardigan?”
“I’m afraid not, Lady Mariah. He’s rather like a caged lion, forever pacing about and grumbling about boredom. Curses his luck at being assigned to staff.”
“I see. Well, he has me to blame for that. Indirectly he was assigned there because of my condition.”
“He can’t blame you for keeping him out of danger. From what Rob says, the casualties are quite high,” Beth aid defensively.
“Jared likes to be in the thick of things,” Mariah replied caustically, and rose, smiling at Rob. “I’m sure you two have a lot to discuss. Beth, since neither Tony or Jared is available, and you have Rob to escort you, I think I’ll attend the party with Lieutenant Warrener. If you’ll excuse me, I’ll leave you two alone to get reacquainted.”
Mariah dressed with special care for the evening and when Adam arrived to escort Beth, he was pleasantly surprised by the change in plans. He couldn’t keep the admiring glow from his gaze as he saw how lovely Mariah looked. She was wearing a green satin gown covered in delicately worked white lace and long sleeves, ending in a ruffle on lace. The high-necked lace collar gave her a demure, proper appearance that would be a startling contrast to the more daring, low-cut dresses of the other ladies. Her hair gleamed in the lamplight, arranged in tiny curls at the back of her neck.
Beth, glowing from her reunion with Rob, was dressed in a pale satin brocade in a rich peach color that made her fair complexion glimmer with softness. She and Rob had eyes for no one but each other and when they were leaving, Mariah hung back, commenting to Adam about how much in love Beth was. “How nice to know that some people do find true happiness.” Adam quickly veiled his bewilderment, for the statement had implied she didn’t share such happiness.
At the party, Mariah and Beth were introduced to the other guests. There were so many allied soldiers stationed in the area that there was a marked difference in the ratio of men to women. Mariah was kept busy, dancing with Adam or a variety of French, Turkish and British officers, all vying for her attention. In a constant whirl about the ballroom, Mariah forgot almost completely about Jared and gave herself up to enjoyment.
Landing at the Scutari docks on a small transport ship from Balaclava, Jared was grumbling irritably to himself. After a three-day supply trip for Cardigan, he’d returned tired and exhausted and found a cryptic message from Tony, who was on a patrol, stating that Beth and Mariah had arrived in Scutari the day before.
He’d have a thing or two to say when he finally talked to her. First, she had ignored his letters, maintaining a puzzling silence for several months, then they mysteriously showed up here. She knew he didn’t want her traveling while she was pregnant, especially not here, where disease was rampant.
On the boat he’d mentally counted the months, and decided she must be well rounded at almost six months along. Regardless of his irritation, it would be good to have her close again. His almost monkish abstinence from women and the boring duties of playing escort to the few ladies who lived in the area had taken their toll on his temper.
At headquarters, he’d given his report to Cardigan and to add to his frustration, had been ordered to attend a party in Scutari as the commander’s personal representative. Despite his protests that his wife had just arrived from England and he was anxious to join her, Cardigan had been adamant about the party. In his dry, pretentious manner, he’d added, “If you’ve waited this long, Captain Bryant, another day won’t matter.”
Deciding he’d go and then try to duck out early, Jared had resigned himself to the task. As his hired carriage sped toward Colonel Bridges’ residence, he had a moment to ponder Mariah’s inexplicable appearance. What crazy notion had gotten into her head this time? She had seemed willing to settle into domesticity following their reunion and the discovery of her pregnancy. The little minx will have some heavy explaining to do, he thought impatiently.
The reception was in full swing when he arrived and apologized to his host for his tardiness. “Just returned from a mission for Lord Cardigan,” he explained. “I came over as soon as I possibly could.”
"So glad you could make it, Captain. You must give my regards to his Lordship.” Bridges’ dark eyes twinkled mischieviously as his face broke into a wide grin. “I’ve a surprise for you…your wife is here, arrived yesterday from London!”
“Yes, I’m aware of that, sir. I haven’t been able to see her yet. With your permission, I thought I might leave early and visit her.”
The heavyset colonel beamed in amusement for all the world like an aged cupid. “No, no. Captain! You’ve misunderstood me. Your lovely wife is here, in attendance at the reception. Come, m’boy, we’ll see if we can’t spot her.” Taking Jared’s arm, he guided him toward the small ballroom and confided, “You’re the envy of many a man tonight. Lady Mariah has been the center of attention. Hardly had a chance to dance with her myself.” He paused and pointed across the room. “Ah, there, you see. I'm sure your wife must be at the center of that cluster of officers. Let’s see if we can’t make the tides part!”
Jared was in a state of total confusion. Bridges had to be thinking of someone else. Mariah would never have attended a social function in her advanced condition. Still, as the group of officers parted for their superior, he caught sight of Mariah, her head thrown back in a peal of laughter at the witty remark of a tall, dark-haired lieutenant who stood far too close to her.
Jared had a moment to study her before she became aware of him. She looked as he remembered; as he had dreamed these many months except that her face was much thinner and…he felt himself go numb with shock as he stared at the flatness of her stomach, which should have been rounded and burdened by his child. Vaguely aware of the colonel’s voice calling Mariah’s attention, he noted the widening of her green eyes as she stared at him across the short space.
The first to recover his composure, Jared greeted her with warm surprise. “I should have known you’d be the center of attention, my dear!” Reaching for her hand, he drew her through the crowd, offering his apologies to her admirers. “Gentlemen, you’ve enjoyed my wife’s company too long. Surely you don’t mind if I exercise my marital privileges and steal her away?” He missed neither the tensing of her captive hand nor the jealous glare he’d received from her escort. Strolling away, Jared’s dark blond head bent close and the two seemed to be engaged in a loving reunion.
“You have some important explanations to make, Mariah. They’d better be good.” He adjusted her lace shawl around her shoulders before pulling her along with a strong, relentless grip. Once outside, on the garden terrace, away from curious glances, he grasped her shoulders painfully as his eyes darkened to a stormy blue.
“How is it you failed to inform me you no longer carried our child?” Mariah’s mouth was set in a sullen pout and she refused to look at him or answer his question. Confused and angry from the shock he’d just had, Jared shook her until her head wobbled precariously on her slender neck. He repeated the inquiry. “Unless you want to create a scandal when I drag you out of here by your hair, you’d best answer me,” he stormed.
Mariah finally found her voice and all the pent-up fury and pain broke from her, washing over him in a flood of accusations. Glancing contemptuously at the tight grip of his hands, she raged, “I lost the baby two months ago. You’re such an excellent actor, one would think you were sadde
ned by the news. Considering you caused your son’s death, I find that highly amusing!”
Jared let loose of her, stunned by the wildly flung accusation. “What the hell are you talking about? You seem to forget I know nothing about what’s happened in London for the past few months. You’ve been as uncommunicative as you’re being now!” There was a wide garden seat directly behind where they stood and Jared shoved her down and sat next to her. The lamps that hung about the garden illuminated the whiteness of her face and the two bright spots of color staining her cheeks. "Why wasn’t I told?” he demanded. “Why didn’t you answer my letters? You had me half-worried to death!”
“I burned the letters when they arrived,” she confessed, “and I insisted Stuart remain silent until I could face you myself.” Hysterical laughter burst from her, laughter she seemed unable to control until Jared slapped her, stunning her into silence. “Physical dominance is your answer to everything, isn’t it, m’lord? All right, I’ll tell you what caused me to lose the baby. I found out about Del.” Her eyes were glaring at him, a brilliant, feverish glitter of green set in a too-white face. “You have no reason to feel remorse, Jared. I lost my baby but come July, your slut will still give you a child!”
"You’ve gone crazy,” Jared insisted. “I had nothing to do with any other woman, certainly not Del. Someone deceived you all right, but it wasn’t me. Who filled your head with this nonsense?”
“Is it a lie that you allowed her to stay in that house, that you continued to pay the rent?” Mariah took the sudden hesitancy on his face for guilt. “You can’t deny it, can you?”
“No, I don’t deny it but does paying another woman’s rent make me guilty of sleeping with her? After Ben died, she couldn’t find any work and she asked if she could stay on until she found work or another man. If you want the honest-to-God truth, I felt sorry for her, but I’d forgotten about her completely.” Jared saw the stubborn disbelief in her face and cursed disgustedly. “Hell, why bother trying to justify my actions—you’ve already made up your mind I’m guilty! Why’d you come so far, Mariah? I’m surprised I didn’t get a notice of divorce in the mail.”
Savage In Silk Page 31
