“I wanted to face you, once and for all. It’s over, Jared. I don’t even think I hate you anymore, though I did when I lost my son. I don’t feel anything anymore; I just want to be free again. I’m going to return to London and take Jenny home to America.”
Stung by the unfair claims, Jared allowed his temper to fly, unrestrained. “Over my dead body,” he shouted. “She’s my daughter and you won’t be taking her anywhere without my say-so!” He stood up, towering over her as rage transformed his features into a cold mask of arrogance. Brutally grabbing her wrist, he pulled her to her feet. “Now, I suggest you arrange your expression into a semblance of love for the guests’ benefit because we’re leaving. I’m taking you back to your house, for all the world like an adoring lover anxious to be alone with his wife.”
Despite her aching wrist, Mariah refused to give an inch. “I won’t go! You can’t risk a scandal any more than I can. How will it look to your fellow officers,” she said ironically, “if you have to drag your wife off to bed? Wouldn’t it cast doubts on your virility?”
Mariah experienced a brief moment of exhilarating triumph as Jared paused and took a deep breath, but his eyes narrowed dangerously and the next second she found herself a prisoner, helplessly ensnared in a pitiless embrace. He crushed her against his chest as his mouth covered hers. Mariah struggled vainly against his steely strength, unable to make a dent in his control. Finally when she felt near to fainting, he released her, his mouth an arrogant slash that mocked her humiliating helplessness. Slowly, teasingly, he lowered his mouth to press his lip's to the base of her throat in the softest of kisses.
Incensed by his confidence, Mariah recalled the time she had kicked him. She moved her knee upward but Jared had outguessed her. Taking her by surprise, he whirled her around so that her back was pressed against his chest. Now she was truly defenseless, held in an iron grip while he calmly fondled her at his leisure. Mariah gasped in frustration. “I’ll scream, Jared, I swear I will! You can’t get away with this!”
His hand paused beneath a rounded breast “Who has a better right than I, sweet?” His tone was condescending, as though he were explaining things to a child. Would the young lieutenant I saw inside come to your rescue? I’ve taken care of your lovers before, Mariah,” he threatened. “He’d be no problem.”
Mariah tensed and gritted her teeth furiously at his assumption that Adam was her lover. Why did he always project his own ideas of lust on her? Well, let him think it if he wanted to. “At least Adam is a gentleman,” Mariah asserted, adding, “which is more than I can say for you!”
Jared’s voice was coldly detached as he loosened his grip a moment. “Since you’ve confirmed my suspicions, I'll have to call your Adam out, won’t I? If only to satisfy my wounded honor.” His laugh was cruel and calculating, drawing the expected response from her.
“You haven’t any honor, you rogue! You merely prey on innocents and weaklings. I won’t have you cause a scene with him,” she said adamantly, emphasizing her statement with a stamp of her foot. “Leave him alone and I'll go with you.”
His breath came warm against her ear before he placed a light, teasing kiss behind it. “Of course you’ll come, and willingly; there was never any doubt of it. You’ve aroused my curiosity, though, with your claim of innocents and weaklings. You see,” he explained. “I don’t think you’re a weakling but then neither do you fit the other category.” His lips caressed the back of her neck, drawing a frustrated moan against her will.
“Damn your black heart, Jared Bryant! I was innocent enough when I met you, even you have to admit that.”
“Ah, but how quickly you learned. Your natural talents seem to have far exceeded anything I taught you, Mariah.”
Suddenly she was released and she turned on him, barely able to contain her fury. “I admit it—does that satisfy your crude nature, to hear me admit I no longer possess any self-respect? Unfortunately, the basest part of me responds to your maulings but don’t dignify the reaction as anything but depraved lust!”
Jared stood casually observing her, his mouth twisted into a wry grin. Mariah was a summer storm, hands poised on hips, eyes flashing lightning and completely unaware of how enchantingly desirable she looked. “Whatever the name, I’ll enjoy sharing it with you again. Now, compose yourself, we’re leaving.”
He gave her a few minutes to check her coiffure and straighten her dress before he reached out to take her arm and tuck it in his. Opening the door, he issued a last-minute instruction. “Smile sweetly for the guests, darling. Anyone would think you were on the way to your own execution.” When she threw him a glare and then grudgingly obeyed, they made their way across the crowded room until they stood before their host and hostess.
Smiling roguishly, Jared explained that they would be leaving. “Of course you understand our eagerness to be…reunited, sir.” His glance swept over her figure, leaving no doubt as to his intentions.
The colonel exchanged a sly wink with Jared and Mariah blushed a deep rose color. How could he dare to be so obvious and crude! He had done it purposely to embarrass her. He might as well have stripped and taken her here, right in front of the whole assembly! Seething with righteous anger, Mariah ignored Jared’s idiotic grin and added her thanks to the colonel.
I appreciate your kindness in making me feel so welcome, Colonel Bridges. I’m beginning to regret that I've come for such a short stay.”
“Nonsense, darling,” Jared interjected. “Don’t tease the colonel! You know you begged to stay as long as I’d let you.”
The slight pressure of Jared’s fingers on her arm warned her not to refute his claim. Mariah smiled, a forced smile that felt so brittle it could easily be chipped away. “Well, you’re so persuasive, darling; I guess I’m helpless under your spell,” she replied. As they bid farewell to their host, only Jared was aware of the bitter sarcasm that had underlined her statement.
Inside the carriage, Mariah sat as far away from Jared as the close quarters allowed. Jared, for his part, lounged in a corner, staring broodingly out the window. At the house, he helped her down but released her immediately, waiting until the maid had answered their knock.
Anna’s surprise at seeing Jared made her react slowly. As she took their wraps, Mariah told her, “I won’t be needing you any more tonight. Lady Elizabeth will be home later. You may retire after she arrives.”
Yes, m’lady,” Anna replied respectfully but as she moved off toward her room, she mused over Mariah’s sharp, curt tone. She, however, was not one to question the moods of her employer.
Jared surveyed the house and observed dryly, “Not bad for Scutari, but hardly what you’re used to, Mariah.”
From the staircase landing Mariah glared. “I’m sorry I came—I should have let you know by letter,” she declared. “Do you think you can keep your hands to yourself until we reach the privacy of my room?” She hardly paused for his reply but began to climb the stairs to the upper story.
“I can see you still have some lessons to learn regarding proper respect, love.” A subtle touch of mocking amusement penetrated his voice, and she paused halfway up the stairs. “I’ll enjoy the challenge of reminding you.” His footsteps sounded behind her and she raced off. For one brief, rebellious moment she considered slamming the door in his arrogant face. When she reached her room and thrust open the door to slam it, he was there, laughing at her attempt to escape. “I’d just have to break it down and then punish your audacity, Mariah. Aren’t you glad you weren’t able to carry through?”
She stalked away from him, wheeling to face him as she reached the bureau and watching as he closed the door behind himself and locked it. Trapped, she controlled her emotions enough to contemptuously inquire, “If I have to submit, do I have your Lordship’s permission to undress? I’m particularly fond of this gown and don’t care to see it ruined by your crude handling!”
Jared slumped into an armchair, eyes lowered in calm contemplation. “Whatever you wish, my dear. A w
hore always strips as part of the bargain.”
Refusing to dignify the insult with an answer, Mariah began to unfasten her hair, contenting herself with a short reply. “Apparently whores are the only women you’re used to dealing with.”
Jared lounged back in the comfortable chair, forcing himself to relax as he watched Mariah move around the room, removing her clothing until she stood facing her mirror, wearing nothing but a sheer, silken chemise. As he had noticed at the reception, she was thin and he wondered now how ill she’d been when she lost the baby. While she had been slender and delicate, even in the earliest stages of pregnancy, now she looked fragile enough to break. He’d have to remember to be careful around her.
Preoccupied, Jared hadn’t noticed that she had come to stand before him. The pale lavender chemise was a bare illusion, enhancing her nudity instead of covering it. Starting at her feet, his eyes swept over her until they came to rest on her face. She stood impassively, like a slave awaiting a master’s command. Although he felt the beginnings of desire stir deep within him, the feeling suddenly deserted him. He tried to search his mind for the reasons they were at each other’s throats. “Mariah, come here please,…sit on my lap.”
Willing herself to show nothing of her inner feelings, Mariah was determined to obey every order Jared issued. He had always seemed to thrive on her helpless struggles; it unused his male vanity to overpower her. She sat, immobile and expressionless, staring straight ahead of her.
She’s got her dander up again, Jared thought. How could he ever get through that stubborn-head of hers? He mused, staring at the lovely profile and finally decided what he wanted to tell her. When he spoke, his low, husky tone seemed depressed, disarmingly disillusioned. “I'm sorry about the baby, Mariah. I wanted it as much as you did, you know that.” Mariah still refused to look directly at him. “I thought we’d agreed to trust each other. You wouldn’t have lost the baby if you’d believed in me.”
Mariah was drawn to what appeared to be his sorrow, almost taken in by the husky appeal of his voice. She did want to believe, with all her heart, that he wouldn’t have deliberately hurt her. She turned and glanced into his eyes, wondering how he could make them appear so guileless, almost as though he’d been the one wronged and not her. “Don’t keep up this charade,” she insisted. “Somehow you’ve managed to turn the tables, to make it seem like I’m at fault.” She closed her eyes as though the sight of him was painful.
You can force me; physically you’re in control,” she admitted in a trembling voice and added, “but please, please don’t hurt me anymore!” Opening her eyes, she gazed beseechingly at him. “I can’t take that anymore. I’ve trusted you too many times, and too many times…Her voice trailed off, the uncompleted sentence speaking more eloquently than words.
“For God’s sake, girl! What kind of monster do you take me for? I swear on Jenny’s life…Jared picked up her hand, touching the wedding band that had been his mother’s. “I swear I had nothing to do with Del since the day we went back together. If she says differently…she’s lied before. Mariah, if she’s pregnant…it could be by anyone!” Jared had just about reached the end of his patience. “You know the spite she felt for you, the jealousy, yet you can easily accept her word over mine!" He dropped her hand, bitterly disgusted with the whole situation.
“You can get dressed now, I don’t care to force my…lust on your defenseless body.” Putting his hands around the tiny waist, he lifted her to her feet.
Mariah wasn’t sure what or whom to believe. She was now thoroughly confused. Jared seemed sincerely angry at what had happened and yet…
Somehow the indecision on Mariah’s face irritated Jared more than if she’d continued to denounce him. His voice rose to a shout. “You can have your damned divorce and anything else you want, Mariah! I won’t contest a thing. Have my father’s solicitor draw up the papers and send them to me at Cardigan’s headquarters.” Without waiting for her reaction, he walked out, slamming the door hard enough to make the room vibrate for seconds afterward.
Throwing herself on the bed, Mariah gave in to a fit of temper. It just wasn’t fair…how could one man be so infuriating! She was the one who’d been hurt; her feelings had been dragged through the mud. Somehow Jared had managed to make her ashamed of her accusations. The more she considered his attitude, the angrier she became, until finally she was crying furiously into her pillow. Afterward she felt better, though somewhat exhausted from the whirlwind emotions and abandoned weeping. Less burdened now with pent-up emotions, she was able to drift off into a dreamless sleep for the first time in months.
Quartered in the tent he shared with Tony, Jared had inherited Mariah’s past incapacity to sleep and he tossed and turned for most of a long and restless night.
Chapter 41
The morning after Mariah’s confrontation with Jared, a soft, timid knock sounded at her door. An equally timid Anna peeked around it before entering. Dark eyes wide, she glanced around the room, searching to see whether Jared still shared a portion of it. Satisfied with the result of her survey, she came forward with a tray of morning tea for her mistress. “Nine o’clock, m’lady. You asked me to awaken you at nine sharp.”
Refreshed by the deep, untroubled sleep she’d had, Mariah sat up, stretching indolently like a cat. “Is Lady Elizabeth up yet, Anna,” she inquired in a soft, sleepy voice. She took the cup of steaming tea from the maid, sipping at it before she placed it on a small table next to the bed.
“No, m’lady,” Anna replied. “It was quite late when she arrived home from the party. She seemed so tired, I hesitated to waken her.”
Well, let her sleep, Mariah thought. Beth was probably overexcited at seeing Rob again. “Please lay out my brown organdy for today and then you may go, until I need you. I’ll be going to the Barracks hospital this morning to meet with Miss Nightingale. Also, if you haven’t yet finished unpacking, please try to find my brown parasol in the blue trunk.”
Mariah sipped again at her tea, mentally going over the previous night’s conversation with Jared. Her head felt so much clearer this morning. I’ll have to manage some way to talk with him again, she decided. Her mind flitted off in various directions, seeking a plausible plan. When he’d left last night he’d worn that obstinate, unyielding look that meant he’d be difficult to deal with. How final he’d sounded when he told her to have the divorce papers sent to him!
Her own stubbornness was a match for his, and Mariah decided she wanted more time to think before formally starting a divorce action. Meanwhile she would stay here and perhaps do some volunteer work at the hospital to occupy her time.
Later, at the hospital, a large, gray wooden building, she wandered about searching for someone in charge. A man in a stained white coat, whom she took to be an orderly, passed by and she inquired as to where she might find Miss Nightingale. Mariah’s face flamed as his gaze insolently swept over her entire figure. The look made her feel naked and her skin crawled at the undisguised lust in the small, greedy eyes.
Down the hall, to your right; the door has her name on it. You need anything else the name’s Keegle, Dr. Simon Keegle.” He repeated the disrespectful survey once more.
I'll be certain to mention your help to Miss Nightingale, Dr. Keegle!” She threw him a withering glance that left no doubt as to what kind of report she would give. She turned away, sweeping off down the hall before he could reply. The halls seemed singularly dark and gloomy and most of the wards she passed seemed similar. At last she found the door, marked simply F. Nightingale in black lettering. At her knock, a feminine voice called to her to enter and she found a woman, dressed in black and sitting at a desk, bent over a ledger which she seemed to be studying earnestly. A distracted look appeared on her face as she noticed her visitor and a slight frown lined her thin mouth. Dark hair pulled back into a neat bun, and wire glasses gave her a businesslike, no nonsense appearance.
“What can I do for you? If you’ve come to visit, you'll find an orderly at
the end of the hall.”
Mariah ventured a smile, aware that she’d probably interrupted some important work. “I’m afraid I’ve disturbed you, Miss Nightingale. I should have written for an appointment first. My name is Lady Carleigh; we corresponded from Lon…
Mariah didn’t have a chance to finish the sentence. As soon as Florence recognized the name, she jumped up and came around the corner of the desk to grasp Mariah's hand. “You needn’t have made an appointment, Lady Carleigh!” She smiled, softening the stiffness of her features. “At any rate, I’m hardly ever where I’m supposed to be at any given time! Please, sit down,” she insisted “I’m so happy to meet you at last. I’m afraid written words are so inadequate to express my gratitude.”
Mariah assured her that no thanks were due. “I’m just happy I could help.”
“If you have the time, I’ll give you a tour; it will illustrate, far better than I can tell, just what your support can accomplish here.” She was regarding Mariah with a beatific smile on her rather tired-looking face. “I must warn you, though, unless you have a strong stomach, such a tour could be upsetting. We’ve made many an improvement in the care of the wounded and the unsanitary conditions, but unfortunately, we’ve only made a dent. Not only do we have to worry about infection, but typhoid and cholera are prevalent.”
“I think I’ll be able to take it, Miss…”
Florence interrupted her, “Please, call me Flo! Most of my friends do and I feel we’re already friends.”
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