How to Fly a Pig (Witch Like a Boss Book 1)
Page 14
“More than a whole person, love.” Blair leant to one side and scooped up Isabella’s hand. “At least one and a half.”
I raised my eyebrow at Patrick, who turned away with a flush of colour rising in his cheeks. While restoring the two witch’s memories, they’d become attached. I wasn’t sure if that was down to our inexperience with sucklings and putting their victims back together or just a to-be-expected side-effect. Either way, the new couple didn’t seem the slightest bit upset at the result.
“Let me know if you ever need a seeing-eye dog,” Jared said with a wide grin. “I’ve got some mates who can help you out.”
“You’re staying on in town?” Aunt Florentine stared in his direction until he nodded, then pulled a face at me before heading back to her car.
What? It wasn’t like I was in charge of him. He hadn’t listened to me when we were together, so it wasn’t likely Jared would start now.
I hid a smile and ran a tongue twister through my mind to hide my thoughts. The house had six bedrooms spare plus a study and upstairs lounge that I couldn’t foresee using. Plenty of room, if Jared wanted to pay his rent to me instead of some unknown landlord.
“Don’t worry yourself, little kitty. I’m moving in with some of the local pack, so I won’t cramp your feline style.” He tried to rub Annalisa’s head and nearly lost his hand in the process.
“Hey, don’t do that,” I scolded her. “We might need a werewolf on our side one of these days.”
“Oh, really?” Jared tilted his head to one side, narrowing his eyes at me. “Do tell.”
“I should probably be heading off,” Patrick said, saving me from the embarrassment of the conversation. “It’s a long trip home.”
“To Pounamu Basin?”
His confused glance told me I should have paid more attention somewhere along the line.
“Come take a ride.” Genevieve put her hand on Patrick’s arm. “I wouldn’t mind a quick chat before you decide on heading home.”
She led him to her car, leaving me, Jared, and Annalisa to find our way home.
“I promised my aunt to be careful with magic until she arranges some proper lessons for me.”
“Considering how that ended up, I hardly think we can use it as evidence.”
Jared gave me a companionable shoulder-bump. “But she wouldn’t have even got into the library without you.”
“That had a lot more to do with Patrick than—”
“Fine,” I said with a gust of laughter. “I’m the greatest witch in the world and I’m not flying because I don’t want to waste my talents on such trivialities. Does that sound better?”
“It sounds like a lie but one we’d be foolish to challenge,” Jared said, grinning until his eyeteeth protruded. “Talk about turning into a boss witch overnight.”
“Not such great timing, if what Agatha said was true.”
“About the witch hunters?” When I nodded, Jared continued, “I wouldn’t worry about that. The pack said—”
“Whoa. Back down. I for one want to hear what they have to say.”
“It’s been months since they were active in the area. After the last spate of attacks, the wolves kept their noses pressed to the ground and haven’t sniffed out any trouble recently.”
I hid my smile by ducking my head down, ignoring the glint in my panther’s eye. “That’s good to know.”
The weather had been forecast to change later in the afternoon, but for now, the sun was high overhead, and the breeze was a light refreshment, cooling my reddening cheeks. It would be good to learn how to fly—properly, with supervision—rather than just launching myself straight into the air.
As we turned into Conker Street, I saw Effie and Meredith farther along the road and called out, increasing my pace to catch up with them. “We’ve just been with Blair and Isabella,” I said, extending my hand for the kunekune to sniff. “They seem glad to be back to normal.”
“You did,” Effie said, patting the pig. “And Meredith is happy to keep you.”
“Just be careful not to overdo it.” Effie beamed as the pig trotted up to their gate, unfastening the latch and walking straight past the stained mark where she used to ram her head into the stone piling. “I can’t believe how well she’s doing.” She wiped away a tear. “It’s been so hard not having a familiar I can share my life with properly. Although, I don’t suppose I have to tell you about that.”
Annalisa stared at me with her emerald eyes glowing.
“Speaking of which…” Effie jerked her head as Genevieve pulled up outside my front door. Patrick stepped out of the passenger side and blinked in the sunlight, appearing dazed.
“Hey, you.” The supreme gestured for us to cross and I waved goodbye to Effie and Meredith, smiling as the kunekune performed a short, intricate dance.
“Are you okay?” I asked Patrick, ignoring Genevieve for the time being. “You seem a bit off-kilter.”
“I’m fine.”
Aunt Florentine waved from the kitchen window and I rubbed my eyebrow. There might be nothing quite like having your own place, but it appeared I had some way to go before I knew how that felt like.
“Good of you to open the house up for us,” I muttered, walking inside. “Saves me having to carry a key.”
“Don’t grumble. I just wanted to check that you changed the services out of my name.”
Oh. A fair point and one I’d completely forgotten about in the tangle of events since my arrival home. “I’ll do it today.”
“Good. And yes, I would like a cup of tea since you’re making one.”
Genevieve manoeuvred onto a stool beside the kitchen counter. “I’ve had a lovely chat with Patrick on the way here. If the events of the past week have taught me anything, it’s that we need a pair of human eyes on our side. Without you, we would never have found our old library.”
“Or stopped Agatha,” my aunt added. “Given our current stocktake, she managed to sell off dozens, maybe hundreds, of our oldest tomes before Isabella caught her at it.”
“I didn’t help at all,” Patrick said, pursing his lips. “I don’t even fully understand what happened.”
“Isabella helped Agatha gain entry to our library, and she repaid the favour by stealing our books to sell onto interested parties.” I rubbed the back of my neck—the spot that always tingled in horror when I thought of witch hunters on the loose, now armed with more information than they should ever have been privy too. “She also concocted some spells, which I didn’t think was possible.”
My aunt picked up the story. “When we debriefed her this morning, Isabella explained she got hold of the suckling because she suspected Agatha was up to no good. After seeing the proof that she was stealing from the library, she tried to find out who the books were being sold on to. Un
fortunately, when she set up a meeting to try to figure that out, she was attacked.”
I nodded, turning to Patrick. “You remember Teri mentioning that her daughter had spoken to their supreme, setting up a meeting with an antiquarian bookseller?”
“Emanual Snell. How could I forget a name like that?”
My nose wrinkled as I smiled. “Exactly. They found some of our books in the back of his store and are trying to track down dozens more than he fenced to the highest bidders.”
“Thankfully, the Pounamu Basin coven is helping us out there,” Aunt Florentine said. “They were appalled to find out one of their own had acted in such an underhanded manner. I can’t imagine he’ll see the light of day again in the next decade.”
I picked up the other thread to the story, finding my rhythm. “Agatha had begun dealing with Isabella when she was blind. Once she saw her in the movie theatre, she realised Isabella could now see.” I tipped the dregs of my tea into the sink and rinsed out the cup. “Then she caught her out driving and followed her. Because Isabella wasn’t used to the vehicle, she misjudged the petrol gauge…”
“Personally, I’m glad about that,” Genevieve said with a snort. “Imagine thinking you could drive when you’ve only been able to see for a few weeks.”
“Uh—she used her magic to drive.” I tapped my aunt on the shoulder. “Something I wouldn’t mind including in my lessons.”
“Tell them yourself,” the supreme said before Aunt Florentine could answer. “I’ve booked you into the high school from next month and they’ll take you through everything you could want to know.”
“Hey, I’m attending an introduction to werewolfery class there.” Jared waggled his eyebrows. “We could eat lunch together—it’ll be like the old days.”
“Anyway, back onto the topic at hand.” Genevieve patted her hairdo, strands threatening to escape all over the place. “There are other cases I could put the two of you onto right now. The demise of my predecessor for one—it was never resolved to my satisfaction. Plus, illegal familiars are getting into trouble in the woods. Someone needs to sort that out before it leads to worse mischief and, quite frankly, I don’t have the time or the energy.”
“You mean we could be assistants to the supreme?”
Aunt Florentine coughed pointedly into her hand. “I believe that role is already taken.”
“Not officially, it’s not.” Genevieve hooked up one eyebrow, jutting out her hip. “What’d you say?”
My aunt smiled. “I say yes and as my first official action, I’d like to set up a paranormal investigation department, to be headed up by one human and one witch.”
“Sounds like you’re asking for trouble.” The supreme tipped her new appointee a gigantic wink.
“I suppose if the salary’s right, I could be convinced to stay on in Briarton,” Patrick said, rubbing a hand along the side of his cheek, the dry skin rasping against his stubble.
“We could use my front parlour as an office,” I added helpfully, deliberately ignoring the anguished expression on Jared’s face. “I presume the coven is happy to pay market rent for the space.”
Genevieve rolled her eyes. “I wouldn’t say happy…”
“Done!” Aunt Florentine planted a kiss on my cheek, then rubbed away the ghost of her lipstick. “We should go out for a meal to celebrate.”
“I’m sure the restaurant won’t mind you tagging along.” I stroked Annalisa along her back, setting her motor humming. “After all, you’re the official familiar to the coven’s new investigation unit. It should be their pleasure to feed you.”
THANKS FOR READING!
If you enjoyed Desdemona Milchtrap’s first outing, please take a look at the second book in the WITCH LIKE A BOSS series: HOW TO STONE A CROW
About the Author
Willow Mason is the author of Witchy Paranormal Cozy Mysteries.
She lives in a small town in New Zealand, far too close to the beach and fantastic walking trails to get nearly as much work done as she should. Until someone bestows magic powers on her, she’ll just keep hoping for the invention of self-cleaning dishes and self-washing clothes.
www.willowmason.com
Also by Willow Mason
How to Stone a Crow (Witch Like a Boss)
How to Fly a Pig (Witch Like a Boss)
Owl or Nothing (A Very Shifty Mystery)
Pixie-lated (Newborn Pixie Cozy Mystery)
A Bone to Pixie (Newborn Pixie Cozy Mystery)
Pixie Me Up (Newborn Pixie Cozy Mystery)
Newborn Pixie Cozy Mysteries – Books 1-3
Selective Spells (Beezley and the Witch)
Vexatious Voodoo (Beezley and the Witch)
Muddled Mutt (Beezley and the Witch)
Beezley and the Witch: Books 1-3