by Virlyce
“M-my liege,” the kneeling man said.
Mary tilted her chin up as she walked away, two phoenixes tucked under her armpits.
***
“See? That wasn’t too hard to find,” Tafel said and hopped off of Vur’s head. She landed on a path made of golden bricks leading up to a palace that shone in the sun. It was easily ten times the size of Tafel’s castle back on the central continent, and Vur had to tilt his head up to see the top of the building. “Practical experience is much greater than theory.”
Alice snorted and slid off of Vur’s face, using his cheek like a slide. “You found the biggest building to have ever existed, congratulations.”
Tafel rolled her eyes in response. “Yeah, well, you couldn’t find it even though you read all those books,” she said. “Speaking of books, we looted a lot from that dungeon, didn’t we?”
“Right, I look forward to reading them all,” Alice said.
“You sound really expectant.” Tafel tilted her head. “If I were you, I wouldn’t get my expectations up over some books we found in what seemed to be a living room, and those books in the kitchen were definitely cookbooks.”
Alice placed her hands on her hips. “I love reading all kinds of books, cookbooks included.”
“But you can’t cook,” Mr. Skelly said.
Alice whirled around to glare at the suit of armor that had slid off of Vur. “And you can’t eat. There’s no issue,” Alice said and snorted. “For the record, Vur and Tafel invited me to their party because Vur loved the way my food tasted.”
“Right, right,” Tafel said as she tugged on Alice’s sleeve. “Let’s move over a bit to the side, and Vur, please, turn back into a human.” Behind the group, there was what used to be a line of wagons. After a dragon landed on the road, the horses had scattered in all directions. A few people were screaming while others were crawling out of overturned carriages.
Vur’s scales lost their luster as his body shrank. “Ah,” he said, his voice garbled by his transformation. “We forgot Alora.”
Tafel stared at Vur, his wings shrinking into his back as his claws retracted and turned into nails. “How could you forget your cousin?”
Vur shrugged. “I remembered now.”
Tafel sighed. “I’ll record this location’s coordinates and teleport back to bring her along. You’re coming with me since I’m not sure I’ll have the mana to transport a dragon. And I don’t think she trusts me enough to let me teleport her.”
“Wait,” Alice said. “What do you mean you don’t think you have the mana to transport a dragon? You could teleport Vur and us without issues.”
“That’s because Vur cooperates with me,” Tafel said. “Whenever I need to teleport him, his mana works with me instead of against me. There’s something about his mana that makes it easy to use; it probably has something to do with the fact that he’s a blue mage.”
Alice frowned as Tafel grabbed Vur’s arm. With a flash of light coming out of the demon’s horns, the duo disappeared. Mr. Skelly tapped on Alice’s shoulder and pointed past her head. She turned around and came face to face with shining metal. A group of knights were flanking her in a semicircular formation, their swords drawn and raised. “She couldn’t have warned me before she left?” Alice muttered to herself as she raised her hands up. “Hey, I guess….”
The knights didn’t react.
“None of you are going to say anything?” Alice asked and raised an eyebrow.
Without warning, the seven or so knights fell forward, collapsing into a giant heap of shining metal. A lone figure dressed in black stood over them while dusting off his gloves. “My apologies,” the man in black said as he lowered his head, bending his torso to bow ninety degrees. “Might you be Lady Tafel’s companion?”
“Lady Tafel?” Alice asked. Her brow furrowed for a moment before relaxing. “I’m Tafel’s companion, yes. Did Mary send you?”
“That’s right,” the man said. He straightened his torso and used his finger to pull down the mask covering his mouth before smiling. “Please, forgive these knights for being aggressive. They saw a dragon and became excited. Her Imperial Majesty has been looking forward to seeing Lady Tafel again. Do you know where she might have gone?”
“Yeah,” Alice said. “She went to pick up a dragon. She should be back at any moment.”
A wry smile appeared on the man’s face, and he readjusted his mask to cover his mouth and nose. “Picking up a dragon. Of course. As expected of Her Imperial Majesty’s good friend.”
***
A deep frown was etched on Mary’s face. She was polishing her sword, using a cloth to rub oil into the hilt. Just looking at the metal reminded her of Lindyss’ slender fingers wrapping around it. The frown on her face stretched even harder as Mary applied more force, wiping out the long-gone fingerprints that she was sure was still there.
“My liege, your good friend, Lady Tafel, has arrived.”
Mary’s hand froze mid-wipe. She raised her head, the frown on her face flipped upside down into a brilliant smile instead. “She’s here?” she asked the kneeling Shadows member. “Nothing stupid happened like knights charging at her for disrupting the peace, right?”
Beads of sweat formed on the Shadows’ member forehead before being instantly absorbed by the black cloth covering his face. “N-no such thing happened, my liege,” the man said. “The Shadows are treating Lady Tafel with the utmost care. There were a few incidents with the traffic around the palace being disrupted by the sudden appearances of dragons, but everything has already settled down.”
Mary’s expression darkened. “I thought I told her not to bring Vur,” she said and pouted. She sighed as she stood up and slid her sword, sheathe included, into the slot reserved for it on her belt. “And I can’t even make him feel unwelcome because he’s a dragon. I … can just pretend he doesn’t exist. Okay.” Mary nodded to herself and walked past the kneeling man, exiting the room. The Shadows member exhaled out a shaky breath before standing up and disappearing.
***
Alora stared at the utensils on the table in front of her. They were silver and had flowers engraved on their handles. With a snort, she swept aside the cutlery with the back of her hand, knocking the plate onto the ground as well. She leaned forward and grabbed the whole roasted pig. As she sat back, the pig was dragged forward, leaving a greasy trail from the center of the table to the space in front of her. She ignored the stares from the surrounding people and chomped down on the back of the pig, spurting juices out from the sides of her mouth.
Thwack.
Alora yelped, dropping the piece of meat she tore off as her mouth shot open. A stinging pain stabbed into the back of her head, and she turned to glare at the culprit. Vur pointed at the fork and knife on the ground beside the shattered plate. “What did I say about table manners?”
Alora pursed her greasy lips. “Um, I don’t remember. Something, something Grimmy said something, something?”
Vur sighed. “When we’re around special humans, we have to act like them. And that means eating like they eat.”
“I don’t get it,” Alora said. “How come we only have to act this way around certain people and not others? What makes them special?”
“They’re special because Tafel said so.”
Alora turned her head towards the front of the dining room. Tafel was sitting next to Emile, Susan, and Mary while glaring at the two human-shaped dragons with a gaze that could turn lava to ice. Mary, on the other hand, was busy placing food onto Tafel’s plate, creating a small mountain of meat and vegetables that reached up to her chin. Alora blinked and turned back to Vur. “And how does she decide?”
Vur shrugged. “Most of the time, she declares royalty as special people. Nobles too but not all nobles. And not all royalty. And sometimes commoners but not always.”
Alora nodded twice. “It sounds like your wife can’t make up her mind.”
“Yup.” Vur grabbed a plate off the tray of a waitres
s who was walking by and placed it upside down on top of the roasted pig. With a flick of his wrist, he flipped the whole thing over so that the bottom of the plate made contact with the table.
Alora took another bite out of the pig, burying her face into its stomach as Vur turned around to grab utensils. She lifted her face just as he turned back around. “So,” she said before Vur could comment or hit her again, “why do we have to lower ourselves and act like humans around special people?”
“Eating like a dragon makes them uncomfortable,” Vur said and stabbed the knife and fork into the pig with a squelching sound that echoed through the room. Everyone turned to stare, but Vur didn’t notice or care. “They think you’ll eat them next, and that scares them.”
Alora tilted her head when she realized Vur wasn’t going to add anything else. “And? I’m not seeing the problem here.”
Vur snorted. “That’s because you’re too young to appreciate good food. Why do we ambush and kill our prey quickly when hunting?”
Alora blinked. “We what?”
“You don’t?”
“Should I be?”
“Yes.”
“Oh.” Alora scratched her nose, leaving a greasy smudge on her skin. “Oops?”
Vur sighed again and shook his head while clicking his tongue. “According to Grimmy, things that are afraid taste less tasty. He says fear leaves a distinct, bitter flavor. So, if you make all these people afraid, then your meal will be ruined by all the fear in the room.”
“I’m pretty sure that’s not how it works,” Alice said from across the table. Only Tafel had been invited up to Mary’s space in the front of the room. “I don’t think Tafel wants you to not eat like a barbarian because it’ll make your meal taste bitter.”
“Yeah.” Alora’s head bobbed up and down. She froze. “Wait a minute.” Her eyes narrowed at Alice. “I don’t eat like a barbarian. I eat like a very refined dragon. My grandma says I’m a great eater.”
“That means she’s calling you fat,” Alice said, “in a very round-about way.”
Alora snorted. “I’m wide-scaled! Don’t make me thrash you once I turn back into a dragon.” She turned back towards Vur. “And your reason makes no sense. Well, it makes sense, but it has nothing to do with the topic. Why do we have to eat like humans only around special humans? Do non-special humans not radiate out bad-tasting fear? Or is it because their fear tastes good? See? Tafel’s just trick—”
Vur stuffed a fork with a large piece of meat on it into Alora’s mouth. “Dragons shouldn’t speak while chewing.”
Alora’s throat bulged as she swallowed without chewing since the piece of meat was too big to manipulate properly in her puny human mouth. “Tafel’s just tricki—“
Another forkful of meat stifled Alora’s words. She swallowed again. “Ta—“
Vur shoved his fork forward and retracted it, leaving another blockade in front of Alora’s verbal cannons, before exhaling through his nose. He turned towards Alice and raised an eyebrow.
Alice crossed her arms and stuck her chin out. “You’re a very sore loser when you’re wrong.”
“I’m not wrong,” Vur said as he plugged Alora’s mouth again before she could even make a sound. “Dragons are never wrong.”
“What if two dragons disagr—”
There was a screech as Alice’s wooden chair scooted backwards, dragging against the marble tile. Vur leapt across the table and knocked the tiny guild master over before she could complete her escape. He placed his butt on Alice’s chest as he sat down and shoved the roasted pig’s leg into her mouth, past her tightly pressed-together lips.
A strange cry came from the front of the room that sounded like a mixture between a yelp and a gasp. Mary’s mouth was wide open, her hands frozen stiff in the air while holding a fork and a knife that was dripping sauce. The mountain of food on Tafel’s plate creaked as it slowly toppled over onto the demon who was too busy glaring at Vur to notice until it was too late.
The dining room, which was already silent despite the large number of nobles in attendance, fell deathly still. Rustling sounds rang out as dozens of people dressed in black ran out of the various shadows in the room. They streamed out of the windows and doors, stomping and screaming unintelligible words as they ran for their lives.
“V-V-V-V-Vur!!!” Mary shot to her feet and leapt onto her table. She drew her sword and stabbed it through the gap in her armor and into her shoulder. Her blade shone with a brilliant red light, illuminating her rapidly blanching face. “This is all your fault!”
Vur looked to the left, then to the right. He tilted his head. “What do you..., oh. You spilled food on Tafel. Why would you do that?”
Tafel sighed as the table in front of her splintered from Mary’s explosive leap. The demon used her fingers to remove a wooden fragment that had landed in her mouth and flicked it away. Her gaze fell onto the food covering her dress, pooling on her lap. She reached down and grabbed a fried fish. Her torso bent forward as she propped her elbow up on the remains of the table and rested her cheek on her palm, bringing the fish up to her mouth with her other hand. Her hair fluttered as a shockwave rushed past her, coming from the collision between Vur’s palm and Mary’s sword. And this is why she thought Mary’s idea to ignore Vur was a dumb one. At least the fried fish tasted good.
20
“Hmm.” Sera growled at the staff in her paw. “Hmm.” Her eyes narrowed as she poked and prodded it with the tip of her claw, leaving tiny marks on the staff’s wooden surface. She sighed and tossed the staff over her shoulder. “Another failure.”
Vernon’s tail sneaked around to the fallen staff and hooked around it. He dragged it to his front claws and lifted it with one paw. “What’s wrong with this one?”
“It looks weird,” Sera said. Clanking sounds resounded through the cavern as logs of wood fell out of a cabinet. Sera dug around until she found a piece of wood that was a little longer than her paw was wide. She gave it a squeeze and nodded. “This one will be the one.”
“You said that last time, Aunt Sera.”
“And the time before that.”
“And the time before that time.”
“And the time before that time that she’s talking about.”
“And the—“
Sera slammed her tail against the ground. “You know this is why Alora calls you three the annoying trio, right?”
“Yup.”
“Uh-huh.”
“Wait. Because why? I don’t get it.”
Sera sighed and lumbered away with her newfound log. Vernon turned towards the trio of dragons who were staring up at him with wide eyes. One of their heads was tilted. Vernon cleared his throat. “How do I address you individually anyway?”
The dragon in the back puffed his chest out and tilted his chin towards the ceiling. “You can call me Eldest.”
The dragon closest to Vernon raised one paw. “My name is Youngest.”
Vernon nodded and looked at the last dragon, whose head was tilted. “Oh,” she said, righting her head. “I’m Bonnie.”
Vernon blinked. “What’s with those names?”
“Alora named us,” Eldest said. “It’s why we tease her for being fat even though she isn’t.”
“Well,” Vernon said and scratched the back of his head, “she can lose some weight. Just saying.” The three dragons’ eyes widened at him, and he cleared his throat. “I mean, what do you expect when…, eh, never mind. Forget I said anything.”
Eldest tapped on Bonnie’s and Youngest’s shoulders. The three dragons whirled in place and created a circular formation with their heads facing each other. “Does..., does that mean we’re fat too?” Eldest asked in a whisper.
“I don’t know,” Youngest said, his brow furrowed. “Do you think our whole family is fat and we just don’t know it? Really, how many other dragons do we know? We could be obese when compared to normal-sized ones!”
Bonnie’s eyes widened and glistened as a layer of tear
s pooled within her nictitating membrane. She raised her head and stared at Vernon. “Uncle Vernon, am I fat?”
Vernon coughed and looked towards the wall before turning back towards Bonnie. “You see, ah, size ... is a relative thing. Right, a relative concept.” He nodded. “To insects, humans are huge. To us, humans are small, see? When compared to Alora, you’re not fat at all, Youngest.”
“I’m Bonnie,” Bonnie said and sniffled. “What if you don’t compare me to Alora? What about compared to Aunt Sera? Who’s fatter?”
A chill crawled down Vernon’s back. His neck creaked to the side until he made eye contact with Sera, who was staring at him with a blank expression. She smiled, but it didn’t reassure Vernon at all. “Yes, dear,” Sera said, drawing out her term of endearment. “Who’s fatter?”
Vernon’s gaze swiveled from Sera to the three waiting dragons, their eyes brimming with expectation. Should he tell the truth? Maybe if he wanted to die. Vernon cleared his throat. “As you get older, one day, you’ll understand that your eyes simply don’t work as well as they used to. I’m really not the one you should be asking. How about you ask your father instead? He’s still pretty young, right?”
“Dad’s asleep,” Eldest said. “And Mom would say we aren’t fat no matter how fat we actually are because she’s the one who encourages us to eat along with Grandma.” Youngest and Bonnie nodded. “You’re the only one who can tell us, Uncle Vernon.”
“Yes, Vernon,” Sera said, poking Vernon’s ribs with her tail. “Why don’t you tell them? Just the other day, you were telling me how pretty my scales were. If you can’t make out my size with your eyes, then how could you tell my scales were pretty when they’re so much smaller? Don’t tell me you were just complimenting me without actually thinking.”
The annoying trio bobbed their heads up and down. Vernon met Bonnie’s gaze and let out a sigh. “Alright, Bonnie. You’re fat. Sorry.”
Bonnie gasped and brought her front paw to her mouth.
