by Virlyce
Vernon nodded. “You too, Eldest and Youngest.”
Tears slid down Bonnie’s cheeks. “...You’re not my favorite uncle anymore.”
“That’s right. How could you be so mean?” Youngest asked. “Couldn’t you have told us a white lie?”
Vernon’s expression darkened.
Sera nudged her mate’s side with her wing. “Heartless,” she said. Her tone was filled with disappointment, but there was a smile plastered on her face that the annoying trio couldn’t see. She hummed as she whittled away at the piece of wood in her paw with the tip of her claw.
Vernon caught a glimpse of Sera’s smile, and his countenance lit up like sunrays breaking through a cloud.
“Wow,” Eldest said. “Look at how happy he is after crushing our feelings.”
Vernon snorted and lumbered over to Sera’s side, ignoring Youngest’s cold gaze and Bonnie’s devastated one. No wonder why Alora called them the annoying trio. Why would they ask him a question they didn’t want to hear the answer to?
***
Vur hummed as he munched on a piece of meat. Underneath him, a woman wearing black armor was flailing her limbs to no avail. Vur looked down and smacked Mary’s lower back with his hand, causing her to cry out. The nobles in the surroundings had already been shocked into silence, and the smack caused them all to flinch. Sweat rolled down their faces, but none of them stood up to leave.
“Get off of me!” Mary shouted and kicked her legs against the ground. Vur slapped her lower back again and took another bite from his drumstick.
Tafel pursed her lips. “Vur..., you’re embarrassing her.”
Vur snorted. “Maybe she deserves to be embarrassed,” he said as he tossed the remaining bone over his shoulder. It bounced along the ground before rolling to a stop against a chair’s leg. “She attacked me for no reason.”
“How did you get so strong?” Mary asked as she splayed her limbs out. Even trying to push against the ground to raise herself up hadn’t worked. And with her sword out of reach because Vur kicked it away, she couldn’t cut herself to amplify her strength. “Not too long ago, I was stronger than you.”
Vur snorted again. “When was that?” Mary wriggled underneath his butt as he leaned over and picked up another plate, causing Alora to protest and grope the space that her food had been moments ago. “I was always stronger than you.”
“No,” Mary said and shook her head, her red hair brushing against the floor. “Before, we were competing, and you only won because Tafel distracted me.”
Vur didn’t respond as he munched on what he suspected to be some kind of seafood. He swallowed. “Not true. I was always stronger.”
“But you couldn’t sit on me like this!”
“But I could,” Vur said and smacked Mary’s lower back once again when she tried to climb to her knees. With a clank, her torso hit the ground, and her eyes grew wet with tears. “I was just going easy on you back then.”
Mary hit the ground with her gauntlets and pouted. “Let me up,” she said, her voice shaky. “This is no way to treat an empress.”
“Act like an empress and I’ll treat you like one,” Vur said. He put a grape into his mouth and chewed, loud munching sounds resounding through the dining hall.
“You mean you’ll dethrone her and conquer her empire?” Stella asked, popping out of Vur’s chest. “That’s what you tend to do with rulers of any nation.”
“What?” Vur raised an eyebrow. “I only do that to rulers I don’t like.”
“So you’ll do that to her,” Stella said, looking down at Mary’s head. Tears were seeping out of the corners of the empress’ eyes.
Vur rubbed his chin. “Probably.”
“Let me up, let me up, let me up!” Mary wailed and kicked at the floor, creating giant fissures in the marble tile. The nobles turned their heads and exchanged glances with each other, but none of them dared to open their mouths. “Tafel! Your husband is bullying me!”
Tafel sighed through her nose. She stood up and summoned a portal to catch the food that fell off of her dress. She shook her head as she made her way to the center of the dining hall where Vur was still eating as if nothing was wrong. It was strange. She was married to most likely the strongest person in the world, but sometimes she felt more like a babysitter than a wife.
***
Zyocuh sat by the edge of a blood-red pond. He was wearing a loose-fitting robe that revealed pale skin, so pale that blue veins showed through. Within the bloody pond, an image of a dining room was displayed just below the surface. A stranger was sitting on a woman, who had eyes as green as his. It was his niece, the vessel he had painstakingly cultivated for ten years, yet she had lost? Zyocuh’s expression darkened as his lips twisted into a sneer. “Gather round, my subjects.”
Hundreds of people made from bloody liquid emerged from the cracks in the walls of the cavern. Droplets of blood fell from the ceiling, forming creatures made of various animals. Zyocuh spun around. Wherever his gaze landed, the people and animals would shy away while averting their eyes towards the ground.
“Where is the queen?” Zyocuh asked and furrowed his brow. The chimera queen had only been given freedom for ten years, yet it dared to rebel? His body trembled, and the surrounding bloody creatures lowered themselves to the ground. Zyocuh moved forward and stomped on the head of a chimera, bursting it like a bubble. Droplets of blood splattered against his face, and he glowered at his subjects. “I said, where is the queen?”
One chimera whimpered as it stepped forward and gestured with its front paws that resembled a bear’s. Zyocuh glared at it before his gaze softened. “It was killed?” he asked and gestured towards the pool. “By that man sitting on my niece?”
The chimera bobbed its head up and down and brought its paws to its lips, pantomiming a drinking motion. Its chest expanded as it swallowed, and it pointed at the pond before performing the gesture again.
“He absorbed the queen?” Zyocuh asked and raised an eyebrow. A wide smile split his face, showing his pearl-white teeth that had too little gum per tooth. “That’s perfect.”
The bloody creatures in the cavern exchanged glances with each other. Zyocuh ignored their puzzled gazes and chuckled as he swept his hand out over the pond. The bloody liquid within flew up and entered his hand, funneling in like a snake. Once the pond was dry, leaving a jagged crater in the center of the cavern, Zyocuh whirled around and spread his arms. “Come,” he said, his eyes glistening. The bloody people and creatures wailed as they shrank down into beads that flew towards Zyocuh, sinking into his skin. “Let us conquer our new vessel!”
***
“Oh, this one’s turning out pretty well,” Sera said. She was holding a half-formed staff in her palm, squinting at it while turning it this way and that. “The mana veins are flowing perfectly.” She held the wooden piece out towards Vernon. “See?”
Vernon grabbed towards the staff, but Sera slapped his claw down. She glared at him. “You see with your eyes. You’ll ruin it if you touch it.”
Vernon cleared his throat and nodded. “Yes, it looks very nice.” He rubbed his snout with his paw before scratching his cheek. “But don’t you think it looks ... a little big?”
“Nonsense,” Sera said and snorted. “The perfect staff-to-height ratio is three to one. Everyone knows that.”
“Is..., is that so?” Vernon raised his brow. He rubbed his snout again before nodding. “Of course it is. How could I forget?”
“Is it really, Uncle Vernon?” Bonnie whispered from his side. The annoying trio was gathered around a few logs of wood, both burnt and unburnt.
Vernon tremored as he shook his head with small motions to prevent Sera from noticing. With the tip of his tail, he scribbled on the ground by Bonnie’s face. “The staff should be one-and-a-half-humans long.”
The annoying trio exchange glances with each other. “How tall is Vur?” Eldest asked.
Sera grunted and lifted her tail a few feet off the ground. “About
this tall.”
Eldest nodded. “I think I’ll make a staff out of this piece right here,” he said and grabbed a burnt log. “It’s perfect for fire spells.”
“Vur doesn’t know any fire spells,” Sera said. “He’s a blue mage.”
“Uh....” Vernon raised an eyebrow. “That’s not true? He knows quite a few fire-type spells.”
Sera’s claws stopped moving mid-carve. Her head rose as she arched her neck towards Vernon. “What?” she asked, her eyes narrowing into a glare. “Who set my precious child on fire?”
Vernon shrank back. “...Don’t you remember?”
***
Lindyss sneezed. Her hand stretched towards her head and sank into her hair. A moment later, a struggling fairy was pulled out. The cursed elf brought the fairy close to her face and blew her nose on the fairy’s dress.
“Eek! That is so gross!” Erin wailed and scooped globs of sticky goo away with her hands. She struggled free and flailed her arms up and down, flinging snot onto the walls and floor of the room. “Why did you do that?”
“It was all the fairy dust you keep leaving behind that made my nose itch,” Lindyss said and turned a page of her book. “It’s only fair that you take responsibility for it.”
“It’s not like I leave fairy dust lying around on purpose!” Erin hmphed and flew to a nearby box filled with paper to wipe her hands. “It just falls off like your hair.”
Lindyss let out a low hum that signaled her acknowledgement but not agreement.
Erin sighed and placed her hands on her hips before shaking her head. “I don’t know why I’m friends with you.”
“Don’t ask me,” Lindyss said without taking her eyes off her book. “I have no clue either.”
Crack.
A massive black claw broke through the wall in front of Lindyss, showering her and her book with a layer of red and white dust. She coughed a few times and wiped at her eyes as a voice boomed out, “Hey, there’s something interesting moving around. Let’s go see it.”
Before Lindyss could even clear out the dust that had fallen into her mouth, she was lifted out of her seat by the black claw, Erin flying after her. The fairy queen landed on Lindyss’ shoulder. “I don’t know why you’re friends with him.”
“Neither do I,” Lindyss said and shook her head, dust falling from her hair like snow. She sighed and patted the black scales underneath her. “What is it this time? Another shiny rock?”
“No, it’s some sort of egg,” Grimmy said. “But it is shiny.”
“How does an egg move around?” Erin asked.
Grimmy snorted. “By rolling. Duh. How else?”
Erin shut her mouth and pursed her lips.
“Speaking of eggs,” Lindyss said, “weren’t you going to be a father soon? Is it really alright for you to not keep an eye on your and Leila’s egg?”
“Hmm? Oh, yeah.” Grimmy nodded. “Don’t worry. I already placed dozens of protective features around it before picking you up to come here. If anyone even steps foot into the wilderness, they’ll deeply regret it.”
“...What about the elves already living inside the woods?”
“They’ve been relocated.”
Lindyss’ brow furrowed. “To the afterlife?”
“...What kind of person do you think I am?” Grimmy asked, staring down at the tiny elf in his palm.
“That question doesn’t justify an answer,” Lindyss said and snorted. The wind ruffled her hair, blowing it into her face.
Grimmy chuckled and placed the cursed elf onto his head. “Don’t worry. I’m sure the elves love their new home, and even if they don’t, it’s only temporary.”
“So..., where did you send them?” Erin asked.
“The desert.” Grimmy nodded. “I settled their village around a cactus. They loved it.” His eyes lit up, and he pointed at the ground before Lindyss or Erin could comment. “There it is. The rolling egg.”
Lindyss’ expression darkened. “That’s a baby turtle.”
“You sure?” Erin asked. “I’m pretty sure that’s a snake.”
Grimmy licked his lips. “Well, the easiest way to find out is to eat it.”
Erin choked. “...And why is that?”
“I’ve eaten eggs, turtles, and snakes,” Grimmy said. “Whichever one it tastes like the most will clear up what it is.”
“Huh. Weird.” Erin scratched her head. “That shouldn’t make as much sense as it does.”
***
Vur sat across the table from Mary, Alora sitting beside him. Tafel was sitting next to the empress, her dress changed into a new one. And around the group of four, there were dozens of tables occupied by nobles with plates of cold food in front of them. “You have to be nice to her, Vur,” Tafel said. “It’s her birthday.”
“Then I don’t have to be nice tomorrow? She attacked me first,” Vur said.
Tafel turned towards Mary, and the empress turned her flushed face away to avoid Tafel’s gaze. The demon sighed. “Yes, you can be mean to her tomorrow, but not today, alright?”
Vur grumbled. “I’m not being mean.”
Tafel sighed again and swept her gaze over the room. Alice and Mr. Skelly were far away, sitting next to Apollonia. The diminutive guild master had said a saying about not camping on top of an active volcano when Tafel had asked her to sit next to Vur. “Look,” Tafel said to Vur after realizing no one was around to back her up, “didn’t Mary and I make even worse first impressions than she did to you and you did to her? But Mary and I are friends now.”
A wrinkle appeared on Vur’s forehead. “I disagree. She didn’t almost kill your wife.”
Tafel’s expression darkened as Mary’s head seemed to shrink down into her shoulders. Alora nudged Vur’s side. “Tafel doesn’t have a wife.”
“Exactly,” Vur said and nodded twice. “See?”
“I’ve already forgiven her for thrashing me like that,” Tafel said and patted Mary’s back.
Vur snorted. “But I haven’t. And it’s annoying how she thinks she’s better than me in anything when she’s not.”
“But I am...,” Mary said in a small murmur.
Vur crossed his arms and looked at Tafel with a gaze that asked, “See what I mean?”
Tafel sighed and turned her head. A motion from the doorway caught her eye. “Oh, the cake’s here.”
A waiter came up to Mary’s table and placed a slice in front of the empress. Mary looked at it and nodded before pushing it towards Tafel. “Try it. I asked Alice what your favorite flavor was.”
“When did you ask her that?” Tafel asked and furrowed her brow. Was there a time when the two had been left alone?
“Secret,” Mary said and pushed the plate even closer to Tafel, nearly causing it to fall off the table. Dozens of waiters streamed into the room and filled the nobles’ tables with plates of cake as well.
Vur frowned at the slice of cake. It was gray on the inside, and the outside had a layer of cream and fruit covering it. He poked at it with his finger, causing the spongy substance to sink inwards before puffing back out. His hair brushed against the table as he leaned forward to sniff the cake, getting cream on his nose. “This smells like dirt.”
“That’s rude,” Tafel said. She stabbed into the cake with her fork and retrieved a piece. “What flavor is it anyway?” she asked and placed the spongy bit into her mouth.
“Rock,” Mary said. Gagging sounds echoed through the room along with the tinkling of forks dropping onto the ground. Tafel’s face paled, her lips pressed tightly around the tines of her fork. Small motions rolled along the surface of her cheeks as she savored the exotic flavor of the cake. With an audible gulp, she swallowed and placed the fork facedown onto her plate.
“W-what flavor did you say it was?” Tafel asked.
A bright smile decorated Mary’s face. “Rock.” She nodded as Tafel grimaced. “Alice said you loved eating rocks, so I made the cake rock-flavored. Do you like it? I personally didn’t like it very much
, but it’s your favorite flavor.”
Tafel chewed on her lip. “By rock, do you mean like the bird ... or the stones on the ground?”
Mary tilted her head. “Rocks can be birds?”
“Oh, this tastes like rock stew,” Vur said and stabbed his fork into his already half-eaten cake. “No wonder why it smelled like dirt.”
Tafel gave Mary a thin smile as she pushed her plate towards Vur. “I really appreciate the cake. It was great,” Tafel said, causing Mary’s eyes to brighten, “but I’m on a diet, you see.”
“Hmm.” Alora hummed while squinting at Tafel. When the demon turned towards the polymorphed dragon, Alora nodded. “It makes sense why you’d go on one.”
“Oi!” A vein bulged on Tafel’s forehead. Alora didn’t respond, choosing to bite into her cake instead. Vur turned his head towards the window, causing Tafel to narrow her eyes at him. “Vur. Do I look like I need a diet?”
Vur swallowed the remainder of his cake and frowned. “The sky’s awfully red today.”
“That doesn’t even make any sense!” Tafel said and slammed her palm against the table. Someone tugged on her sleeve, causing her to whip her head around towards the offender.
Mary pointed out the window. “You look perfect as is, but the sky really is red.”
A wrinkle appeared on Tafel’s forehead. Why was the sky red? It was still noon.
A figure dressed in a completely black outfit fell from the ceiling and landed behind Mary. “My liege, an urgent report! All of the three other empires are performing strange rituals and sending soldiers into our lands!”
***
“What’s this?” Grimmy asked and raised his head. In his claws, there was a struggling turtle with a snake for a tail. “That’s some weird weather.”
“This feeling reminds me a bit of that girl with the red hair, don’t you think?” Lindyss asked. “The one with the armor.”
“You mean Mary?” Erin asked.
“That sounds familiar,” Lindyss said and nodded. She patted Grimmy’s snout which was underneath her. “What do you think?”
