Mend

by Chelle Bliss

  “I think Renee and I could be BFFs.”

  The happiness fades from my face, and my stare hardens. “Shut up.” I glare at him. “It’s me or her, buddy.”

  “Fine. If I have to choose…” He takes a drink.

  “Ugh!”

  I stand from the table, needing some fresh air. The sunshine outside is calling my name, and the last thing I want to do today is stay cooped up in the rental we’ve secured for thirty days. “I’m leaving in five minutes.”

  “I’m ready to go when you are,” he tells me as he walks over to the sink and puts his mug in it.

  I run upstairs to change into a pair of spandex capris and a sports bra before pulling on a hoodie. Then I grab my tennis shoes, jamming my feet inside without undoing the laces.

  Evan’s waiting for me on the front porch when I make my way downstairs. I push open the front door and finish pulling my hair into a messy bun.

  “Ready?” I ask him when I’m done fussing with my hair.

  “Where are we headed?”

  “A special place.”

  He quirks an eyebrow. “A Jack place?”

  I jog down the front steps, unable to look him in the eyes. “Maybe. Just get your ass moving, Evan.”

  I know what he’s thinking, and he’s right. I’m still in love with Jack Nelson. After seeing him, he’s all I can think about. If I’m honest with myself, he’s all I want. But I can’t have him.

  Evan walks quickly to keep up with me, tucking his hands into the front pockets of his skinny jeans. The man can’t dress down even for a hike. He must always remain in style in case he runs into someone. There aren’t many people for him to run into in Ridge Hollow, but it doesn’t stop him from being prepared. The man always appears flawless. I should despise him for it, really, but I adore him even when he’s giving me shit and looks good while doing it.

  I’m nervous as we walk; it’s been so long since I’ve been here. I replay the day Jack and I walked here for the first time in my mind with every step. I remember the way he grabbed my hand after school. I could tell he was nervous. I was too. Jack always had a way of making me feel as though butterflies were fluttering in my chest. The boy did crazy things to my pulse.

  He still has that effect on me.

  When we come to the clearing, it takes my breath away just like it did years ago. The trees have grown taller, but everything else is just as I remember it. Everything here screams Jack. He always loved it here.

  “It’s a lake.” Evan’s voice is so childlike as he stares ahead in wonderment.

  I gaze at the water, remembering every time I’d been here with Jack. “It’s special.”

  I can almost see the ghosts of our youth walking past me, holding hands as we had many times. My vision blurs. One blink and tears cascade down my face and plop near my feet, falling like raindrops against the blades of grass.

  I walk toward the edge, near the very spot I stood with Jack, and sit down in the grass, pulling my knees close against my chest. I miss how innocent and in love we were back then. We were in such a hurry to grow up. Things were so easy when we were younger. Now look at us. We are as complicated as it comes.

  Evan sits next to me, stretching out and leaning back on his hands. “It’s really beautiful, Evie, but why’s it so significant?”

  I stare across the lake, my eyes sweeping back and forth over the tree line with the first buds of spring starting to blossom into flowers. “It’s where I first became his, Evan. This place belonged to Jack and me.”

  My heart races when he asks me if I’ve ever been kissed. In this moment, I know Jack is going to press his lips to mine, and I’ll never be the same. This will change everything, but I am so ready for it to happen.

  “No,” I say softly as my cheeks heat.

  “Me either. Don’t worry. We’ll figure it out.”

  I hold my breath as we both lean forward, moving closer to become each other’s first. I would be more nervous if he had kissed someone before, but just like me, he’s a novice. Whether or not we are doing it right doesn’t matter—we have nothing to compare it to. There is only this, and it feels right, natural.

  When his lips finally touch mine, I feel a tingle down my body that emanates from my lips. His breathing is ragged as his hand tangles in my hair, and his other arm snakes around my back. I close my eyes, overcome by so much emotion I can’t bear to stare into his any longer. My fingers creep under the side of his shirt, feeling the softness of his skin against the pads of my fingertips. I can’t help but explore his torso, tracing the lines of his chest and trailing back down to his stomach.

  Nothing can ever be the same between us. I melt into him, pressing my chest against his, and I feel his heart racing as quickly as mine.

  Jack Nelson owns me, every piece.

  “You okay?”

  I close my eyes and wish I could go back to that day when everything was simpler. “Yeah.”

  Evan scoots closer until our shoulders are touching. “Tell me what happened. Talk to me, Evie. Get it out. You’ll feel better.”

  I’ve never told anyone about this place or what it means to me. Even sharing it with Evan isn’t easy. “It’s where we had our first kiss and he asked me to be his girlfriend.”

  “Ah.”

  I place my head against Evan’s shoulder and sigh. “I thought he was my forever.” How I had hoped he would be, but everything changed once I left for Germany.

  Evan’s protective arm wraps around my shoulder before he kisses the top of my head. “He still can be.”

  I wish I could believe that’s true. Especially after seeing him again and realizing the feelings never faded. “Let’s not talk about fairy tales anymore. They aren’t real. They don’t happen in real life.”

  At least, not in mine.

  “It’s not a fairy tale. Based on the way he stalked toward you and then rescued you, I’d say he’s still in love with you, Evie. That fine specimen of man is crazy about you.”

  “It’s just Jack. He’s always been overprotective,” I argue.

  “Uh-huh,” he mutters and pulls me backward as he lies back on the grass. “Look at that cloud.” He points toward an oblong cloud straight above us.

  “What about it?” I settle into the crook of his arm and gaze at the fluffy clouds against the bright blue sky, feeling more content.

  “It looks like a penis.”

  I start to giggle and shake my head. “You think everything looks like a penis.”

  “Or a cupcake,” he corrects me. “There’s no two things more delicious.”

  “I’d have to agree.” I turn on my side, curling against him. “Don’t you wish you could find someone to settle down with?”

  “I have you, darlin’. What more can a guy ask for?”

  “Penis,” I say through my laughter.

  “You are missing the vital parts, for sure. But as long as I have you by my side, I’m a happy man.”

  “Evan, be serious. You need to find a man to love.”

  “So do you.”

  “Maybe a certain doctor is waiting for you to call. He was into you.”

  “We were talking about you, Evie. Not me.”

  I roll my eyes and give up, lying back down to stare up at the penis cloud with him.

  He and I are broken. We’ve been this way since the day we met. It’s what makes us a perfect twosome. There’s only so much ugly a person can take in their life before snapping, and Evan and I hit that limit and came out on the other side—but not unscathed.

  “Let’s make a deal, Evie.”

  “Sure.”

  I’m skeptical. He comes up with some harebrained ideas and usually finds a way to rope me in because I’m a complete sucker. He knows I am a pushover at times. He tells me I am too nice for my own good.

  “When you find love and finally allow it into your life, I’ll find my forever too.”

  “If it were only that easy.”

  “But I won’t leave your side until then,”
he assures me.

  “It’s a deal,” I tell him, but I know it’s not fair.

  He shouldn’t keep himself attached to me. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to move on from my love for Jack. The past is the past, and the future seems too bleak to think that anything good could happen. Maybe I’ll get lucky and Evan will find someone to love before I drag him into old age with me. Because at the rate we are going, that is exactly where we are headed…old and alone.

  9

  Jack

  Jason sits down and pulls one of the beers I ordered in front of him. “Thanks for inviting me. I don’t have many friends around here anymore.”

  “I don’t understand what happened because you were always popular, man.” Everyone loved him when we were in school. He was one of the most well-liked guys in our grade. Hell, I had always thought if Evie weren’t with me, she would date him or someone like him. If she had turned me down when I asked her to be mine, it might have changed everything, but she was meant to be mine.

  His shoulders fall forward as he twists the beer in his hands. “Drugs happened.” The bottle slides across the table, making small water rings on the wood. “I became the biggest dick. I’m still trying to earn back the trust of a lot of people, starting with my family.”

  “How the hell did you get so lost?”

  His fingers pick at the edges of the label of the beer bottle as he gathers his thoughts. “Los Angeles isn’t for the faint of heart. I had big-city dreams when I moved there. The parties weren’t like here, and I didn’t know how to control myself. Any drug you want, it’s already there, waiting for you to try it. Fuck.” He scrubs his hand down his face. “I wasn’t thinking. I thought I could control myself. I thought I could handle it. But in the end, it took over my life. The choices I made ruined me.”

  “I never got into that shit. Drugs just never appealed to me.” I never would have thought Jason would get into that whole scene. He was always so level-headed.

  “I wanted to fit in, Jack. Everyone else was doing it, so I figured, why not? Stupid mistake.” He shakes his head and stares down at his beer.

  “What happened, man?”

  “I flunked out and came back home. It took about a month before my mom figured it out. She put an end to it real quick.”

  “She did the right thing, man. I’m glad she was able to get you help.”

  “Yeah, I know it now, but I didn’t then. I was so angry with her for making me go to rehab. In my mind, everyone else was in the wrong. I didn’t think I had a problem.”

  “Addicts usually don’t.”

  “I screwed everything up. I could’ve had an amazing life. Sure, I am doing okay now, but it hasn’t been easy to get to this point.”

  “But think of the difference you’re making.” I’m trying to be positive. The poor guy doesn’t look like he can take much more.

  “Yeah.” He smiles, finally looking me in the eye again. “I do, but it’s still here.” His eyes drift around the room, and he shrugs. “In the Hollow.”

  “It’s not such a bad place,” I tell him because it still feels like home. No matter how much I wanted to escape as a kid, I feel comfortable here. There’s a familiarity that I can’t find anywhere else in the world—even Philadelphia.

  “Yeah. Well. I saw Renee today,” he says through clenched teeth.

  My fist balls up, and every muscle in my body tenses at the mention of her name. “I hate that bitch.”

  “I know. Me too.”

  “I don’t know who’s worse, her or Jess.”

  He leans back, crossing his arms in front of his chest. “It’s debatable.”

  “She was at the store today. They both were. Invited me over.” I snort.

  “Did she come on to you?” He raises an eyebrow.

  I roll my eyes. “Yes. Guess I’m not that special.”

  “Nope.” He tips his chair back like he used to do in high school, teetering on two legs and about to fall over. “She’s trash, and he pretends not to see it.”

  “They’re fucked up. Pathetic, really.”

  “You have no idea.”

  “But.” I lean forward and rub the back of my neck. “They said something about Evie that kind of has me questioning everything.”

  He starts to fall backward and grabs on to the table before he topples back. “Shit. Don’t believe anything those two say.” His eyes dart to the right. “Don’t look now, but she just walked in.”

  “Evie?” I want to turn around, but I don’t want to seem overeager. Who the hell am I fooling? I’m always eager when it comes to Evie. After six years, I’ll take every chance I can get to be near her. “She’s here?”

  He nods. “Yep. She’s lookin’ fine too.” He whistles quietly so only I can hear. “She just sat down at the bar.”

  I turn the chair so I’m facing her direction. Evie hops off the barstool, and for a second, I think she’s going to come my way, but she starts poking that Evan guy in the chest.

  I wish I could read her lips, but her back’s to me and Evan’s laughing. He grabs her around the waist and hauls her between his legs.

  She’s mine.

  My insides twist, and my fists tighten at my sides. He hugs her securely, with his hands roaming down her back, and I force myself to stay seated. Although what I really want is to run to her, throw her over my shoulder, and haul ass out of here.

  “Looks pretty cozy over there,” Jason says, twisting the knife that’s already lodged in my chest.

  I know what he’s doing. He’s trying to get me to go over there, but Evie hasn’t bothered to reach out to me. She knows I’m here, yet nothing. She’s ignoring my presence.

  “I need another drink,” I mutter, keeping my gaze locked on her.

  “Another round of Jack,” he tells the waitress even though we haven’t touched the shots I ordered before he arrived.

  “Coming right up,” she says.

  “Go over there,” Jason encourages me.

  “Not yet.”

  When the waitress sets the drinks down, I pull one in front of me before she even has a chance to walk away. “Anything else?”

  “We’re good.” I wave her off.

  Jason thrusts his shot glass in front of me after I swallow mine down. “Should we drink to something?” he asks, holding his beer as I grab the shot glass.

  “I just need to drink.” I keep my eyes on Evie and Evan.

  “I haven’t done a shot in years.”

  “I’ll drink for the both of us. You can drive me home.”

  He rolls his eyes. “Sounds like a fun night.”

  I tip my head back, letting the liquid slide down my throat.

  “You may want to pace yourself,” Jason says. “You won’t find the answers you seek at the bottom of that glass. Trust me, I tried. It doesn’t work.”

  “I don’t need a counselor,” I tell him, feeling the liquor taking hold and lightening the burden of regret that’s been sitting on my shoulders.

  Right now, the only thing I want is my lips against hers. I need to make her mine again, and I’m going to make it happen.

  She gets up and walks toward the bathroom, and I know it may be my only chance to talk with her without Evan keeping a watchful eye.