Finley's Adoration

by Elizabeth Knox

  “Yeah, would you like to come with me?” I offer.

  “Only if you want me to.” I don’t miss the apprehension in her voice.

  “I’m sure. Want me to see if Mara-Lee will keep Dom for us?”

  “Sure.” She nods and steps forward. “I love you, Finley,” she whispers and grabs hold of my hand. She gives it a good squeeze before I let it go.

  Lifting my hands, I cup both sides of her face. “I love you too, Ainslee. Here, hand Dom to me. You finish getting ready, and I’ll meet you downstairs.”

  “Okay,” Ainslee whispers and hands our son over to me.

  I take our little boy and leave the room. I’m already prepared to head out, but I saw the look in her eyes. She needs this. To come with me. To make sure I’m okay.

  Going into the kitchen, I find Mara-Lee and Cedric standing there talking. They turn to me and smile.

  “What’s going on?” I ask.

  “Nothing, Eliya is in the gym,” Cedric mutters. That’s a first. The woman has barely left her room since we brought her here. She’s stayed in there and shied away from Cedric anytime he was around. The fact she’s in the gym is progress in itself.

  “That’s good. Do either of you mind keeping Dom for a few hours? She wants to go to the doctor with me.”

  “You know you don’t have to ask,” Mara-Lee states, already coming my way to take my son from my arms.

  “Ready,” Ainslee announces, joining us in the kitchen.

  Nodding, I take her hand, wave to Dominic, and head to my new SUV. Since being run off the road and finding out my old car was totaled, I got a new SUV, which is a lot easier when you have a young kid. I climb in behind the steering wheel and wait for Ainslee to join me. Normally we’d’ve taken our bikes, but it’s drizzling out.

  The ride out to Connors’s clinic is filled with a heavy silence. I want to say something to help ease Ainslee’s mind, but I don’t know how. I don’t even know what I’d say at this point. She’s been through so much and blames herself for what happened to me. It wasn’t her fault. I’ve told her that so many times. None of this is her fault.

  It wasn’t Ainslee who strung me up. It wasn’t her who fucked me with their dick. Or the other men who fucked Lacey, only to pull out and finish themselves off by shooting their semen on me. It was them.

  Pulling into the parking lot, I park the SUV, turn the key to shut the engine off, and climb out.

  Ainslee meets me at the front of the SUV and takes my hand. Hand in hand, the two of us walk into the building where Jordan, Badger’s ol’ lady and a nurse here, greets the two of us.

  “Hey, you two. Go ahead and take this and go to the bathroom. We need you to pee in a cup. Then head to room number four. Connors is with a patient right now, but soon as she’s done, she’ll be in,” Jordan says cheerfully.

  “Sounds good,” I mutter and head for the bathroom.

  “I’ll go and wait in the room for you to finish,” Ainslee murmurs.

  I nod and go about my business, place the cup on the sink and wash my hands. When I’m done, I take the cup into the room. Jordan told me to go in and place it on the counter like I did the last time I was here. Instead of sitting on the medical chair, I sit in the chair next to Ainslee and take her hand in mine once more.

  I feel her nervousness as if it were my own.

  Okay, so I’m a little nervous myself.

  A knock comes from the door, and Connors steps in. “Finley, it’s good to see you again.”

  “I would say the same if it were any other time than a doctor’s appointment,” I utter.

  “Well, last time you were here, we did the full work-up and you were cleared, and you went to the labs a few days ago like I told you. The results came in.” Connors moves to take a seat in the chair close to the computer they keep all the records on. She types and does something else and reads something on the screen. “So, lab work shows your HCG levels are up, which confirms you’re pregnant.”

  Pregnant?

  No. That can’t be right.

  I had a period.

  Didn’t I?

  “Are you sure?” I ask and look at Ainslee and see her face pale. She’s as white as a ghost. After the assault, she opened up with me and told me when she conceived her first child, she was raped as well. It was something I assumed, but it wasn’t something I knew until she confirmed it.

  “I’m sure. Jordan’s bringing the ultrasound machine in here. If you can hop into the medical chair, we can see how far along you are.”

  Taking a breath, I nod my head and do as Connors says. Ainslee comes to stand beside me. She continues to take my hand in hers, showing me she’ll be here by my side no matter if they’re right or not.

  Everything seems to go slower than a snail’s pace as Jordan comes into the room with the damn machine. Connors instructs me to lift my shirt and pull my jeans down a little. My heart is in my throat as I look up at the ceiling, not wanting to look at the screen.

  That is until a thump, thump, thump sound fills the room. Staring at the screen, I see what looks like a small, peanut-shaped ghost wiggling.

  “Your baby looks to be thirteen weeks.”

  I lift my gaze from the screen to meet Ainslee’s. If I’m this far along already, there’s no way I can get rid of it, even if I wanted to. Victor might’ve gotten me pregnant, but I won’t think of this as my rapist’s kid. No, this is a blessing. A blessing I can only give to the woman I adore with everything I am.

  “Are you okay?” I ask after Connors leaves the room, and it’s just the two of us.

  “I should be the one asking you that,” she whispers. Her tone tells me how terrified she is. Fuck, Ainslee looks like she’s about to vomit.

  “I am if you are. I can’t think about this baby being . . . a rape baby,” I murmur, my voice hitching a little bit as I allow myself to drop the walls I’d been building without meaning to. I don’t know how to explain this to her. How the fuck am I supposed to? We have Dom. We both know how much pain she’s had in her past and how she didn’t think she could carry another child, not after her son died years ago. This is why I need to view this as a blessing because if I don’t, it could crush me. I have no other choice than to accept this child and think of it as . . . fuck, to think of it as ours.

  “I support your decision, if . . . if this is what you really want. It’s a part of you too . . . which means it’s a baby I can love just as much as Dominic, who didn’t even come from either of us,.” she says while I sit up and pull my shirt down.

  I stand from the chair and take her hand. She’s right. “Guess we’re expanding our little family.”

  “Yes, we are,” Ainslee says as she fakes a smile. I know this is going to be rough for a while, but I’m sure it’ll get easier. Her hand comes to touch my stomach where our little boy or girl rests.

  I’m sure we’re both scared of what’s to come, but as long as we’re together, we’ll make it through this. After all, we’ve made it through everything else life has thrown our way.