Always and Forever at Glendale Hall

by Victoria Walters

  ‘Yep, you cramped my style,’ he joked, but I saw him frown as he thought back. I knew he regretted that time. He’d more than made up for it though; I doubted my brother ever put a foot wrong now. ‘I can’t remember that last time Dad picked up a guitar,’ Brodie said.

  ‘I tried learning for a bit,’ I said. I suddenly wanted to play again.

  ‘He probably still has his guitar.’

  I shrugged. I’d never ask him for it. We just didn’t have a close relationship anymore. Brodie looked like he was going to say something else but decided against it.

  We reached the pub, which was full of people, and a lively atmosphere that made me smile. I had missed the buzz of a pub. The Glendale Hall team had a fixed table and made their way there. I hung back a bit, looking around, and waved when I spotted Adam standing at the bar.

  ‘You came!’ he said when I walked over. ‘And just in time for my round. JD and Coke again?’

  ‘Perfect. I’m joining the Glendale Hall team.’

  ‘We’re at the next table and on the other side are the Fraser Farm lot. I hope you’ve brought your game: it can get pretty competitive in here.’ He laughed as he passed me my drink from the tray the barman handed him.

  I grinned. ‘I think I can handle it.’ Now I not only wanted to beat the farm team but the football lot as well.

  He clinked my glass with his beer. ‘Bring it on.’

  I walked off, feeling his eyes on me. I smiled to myself. He was fun to flirt with. I wasn’t exactly interested but he was the only (non-grumpy) man I knew around my age here, and that was attractive in itself. I sat down with my team and looked behind at the table where Heather and Rory were. She waved at us. Beth told me that the other man with them was her father, Don. Then there was an older lady called Hattie who worked in their farm shop, and Cameron, who was nursing what looked like just an orange juice and who glanced at me as I sat down, averting his eyes when I smiled, like he couldn’t even let himself smile at me.

  I shrugged and took a sip of my drink. I had been looking forward to it all day. The guys at the football table greeted me enthusiastically, everyone who’d been in the beer garden on my first visit on Sunday was there apart from Cameron, and judging by the drinks lined up they wouldn’t be too much competition for the quiz.

  ‘Welcome to quiz night!’ a voice boomed over the microphone. The room hushed immediately as the landlord, Malcolm, stood at the front of the room holding a clipboard. ‘We have five rounds tonight and I want a good clean quiz, folks. No using your phones like last time.’ He turned to the football table, who jeered back at him. ‘I mean it, lads. Once more, and you’ll be barred. Right then, the first round is general knowledge. Write the answers down on your sheets then pass them up to me at the end of each round. Are we ready?’ Everyone cheered enthusiastically. I smiled at their spirit. ‘First question then – in what century did the Scottish Reformation take place?’

  Heads bent furiously around the room to confer.

  ‘That’s not right,’ Caroline hissed furiously at her husband when he suggested a year, making me bite my lip to stop myself laughing. They weren’t lying when they said they took this seriously. Beth, of course, was the one who wrote down our answers, undoubtedly the leader of the group, and she went with John’s suggestion, her mother’s lips pursing as she was forced to agree.

  ‘Right, next question then,’ Malcolm said over the noise. ‘The Gaelic for whisky is Uisge Beatha. What is its literal meaning?’

  ‘That’s so easy,’ Caroline declared with a roll of her eyes. Emily leaned in to whisper to me that the family had made whisky, so now I knew where their fortune came from.

  ‘Give us a clue,’ Adam called over to me.

  I just raised my glass at him, and then drained it dry.

  * * *

  The room had become tense. It was the final round now. I was on my third drink and when Malcolm announced he was doing a music round, I banged my glass excitedly on the table. Beth beamed at me. I felt all eyes turn to me as Malcolm read out the questions. We were pretty much neck and neck with Fraser Farm, who were, as predicted, our main competition. The football lot seemed to have given up in favour of a shot competition, and were calling out insults to Cameron, who just ignored them.

  The first four questions were easy for me, and Beth wrote down everything I said. It felt good to contribute to the team, and I knew I had got them all right. ‘Okay, final question for the night then!’ Malcolm called out. Everyone fell quiet. ‘In 1975, “Bohemian Rhapsody” was number one for nine weeks. It was finally knocked off the top slot by a song with a name that appears in the lyrics of “Bohemian Rhapsody”. Name the song and the band that ended Queen’s number one success.’

  I looked over at the Fraser Farm table. They were all staring at one another blankly. Everyone at my table looked at me.

  ‘Any ideas, Anna?’ Beth asked me, hopefully.

  I knew that song like the back of my hand but what other song was in the lyrics, that would have got to number one then? I frowned, trying to think, beginning to regret the drinks I’d had. And then it came to me. ‘Oh my god,’ I whispered. I leaned in so I was almost touching Beth, desperate for no one else to hear. ‘“Mamma Mia” by ABBA.’

  ‘Are you sure?’ she checked.

  ‘Hell, yes.’ I looked at Brodie. ‘Sorry.’

  ‘If you’re right, I really don’t care.’

  I stared at my brother, surprised again by his good humour, as Beth jumped up to hand Malcolm our final round answers. Cameron stared at her, then at me, before leaning back, crossing his arms over his chest, annoyed. Heather was hanging her head. Don told her to just write down what they thought and she took it up, glaring at Beth as they passed one another.

  Malcolm made a big show of reading both sets of answers, and then everyone else’s, even though we all knew it was between our two teams for the win. ‘Well well well… last month’s victors have—’ He paused, dramatically. ‘NOT done it again! Tonight’s winners are Glendale Hall!’

  The whole table erupted. I was pulled into Beth’s arms and Emily clapped me on the back as we all cheered. I had never felt part of a team before. It was kind of nice.

  ‘Another drink for Anna!’ Drew declared.

  ‘She drinks for free forever!’ Beth added, throwing her arms up in the air.

  I grinned. I liked the sound of that.

  The evening soon took on a blurry feeling. Everyone seemed to want to buy me a drink. Slowly, our table faded away though. First, Brodie and Emily left to go and get little Iona. Emily kissed me on the cheek and Brodie gave me a cheerful wave while telling me not to stay out too late. I rolled my eyes in response but I couldn’t help but return their smiles, it had been an enjoyable evening with them. Then Caroline and John left for home. Heather, Don and Rory left to go back to their son, who was being looked after by Angus, who lived and worked on the farm too. And then Drew and Beth began to yawn.

  ‘We’d better head back,’ Drew said. ‘I’m on nights from tomorrow so I need as much sleep as I can get. You coming, Anna?’

  ‘I’ll walk back in a bit,’ I replied. Adam and his mates were still there drinking and I really didn’t fancy going back to the silence of my bedroom just yet. It was only ten o’clock; there was a good hour left of drinking time.

  ‘Are you sure you’ll be okay?’ Beth checked. I reassured them so they left together and I went over to Adam’s table. Cameron had joined them once the rest of his table had gone, but still seemed to be drinking orange juice. He was deep in conversation with Glen and didn’t look up.

  ‘Come to rub it in?’ Alastair joked when I sat down next to Adam.

  ‘I can’t help knowing more that you, can I?’

  ‘I’m sure there are things I could still teach you,’ he replied with a wink.

  I rolled my eyes. ‘Does that line ever work?’

  Adam chuckled. ‘No, it really doesn’t.’

  ‘Yeah, because you’re such a ladies�
�� man,’ Alastair said.

  ‘At least I can get a lady…’

  I smiled as they teased one another and finished my drink. This kind of conversation I was quite happy to just enjoy. Just fun. Exactly how I liked it. Glen got us all one more drink when the last-order bell rang, and by then I was definitely drunk, still riding high on my victory and enjoying the attention of the all-male table. Well, apart from one, but I didn’t care.

  ‘Right, you lot, time to go.’ Malcolm’s voice broke through our laughter. ‘I’ve got to lock up. No arguments,’ he added when they started to protest.

  Adam leaned in to me. ‘Let me drive you home. I want to talk to you.’ I knew what that really meant. And I was happy to go with him. I didn’t want to be alone. He took my hand as we stood up. Everyone was saying their goodbyes so we slipped out unnoticed.

  Outside, the night was cool now and I shivered, so Adam slung an arm around my shoulders as we walked to his car. I stumbled a little and he held me closer, and tighter. ‘You’re gorgeous, Anna,’ he said, his mouth close to my ear. ‘And so fun. I’ve been waiting years to meet a girl like you.’

  ‘I’m not a girl, I’m a woman,’ I trilled back with a giggle. He opened up the passenger door for me. ‘But definitely not a lady.’

  Adam moved his hand down to the small of my back. ‘I was hoping that,’ he replied, leaning in towards me.

  Chapter Thirteen

  ‘What do you think you’re doing?’ A voice barked at us.

  Adam drew back quickly as I turned, confused, grabbing the car door for support once Adam’s arm left me.

  Cameron was marching over. His big frame was intimidating in the semi-darkness of the car park. His face was thunderous. I blinked, wondering what the hell was wrong with him. Was he pissed off that Adam had been about to kiss me? That made no sense though: he barely wanted to speak to me. ‘You can’t drive, Adam,’ he said when he reached us. ‘You’ve been drinking all night. What the hell are you thinking?’

  My alcohol-fuddled brain woke up a little then. ‘Why did you say you’d drive me home?’ I asked Adam. I hadn’t even thought. Of course he’d been drinking along with me all night. It felt like a cold bucket of water had just been poured all over me.

  ‘I wanted to be with you,’ he said. ‘I haven’t had that many. Come on…’

  ‘I’ll drive you both home. No arguments. You can get your car tomorrow. Come on,’ Cameron said, gruffly. He shut the car door and I stepped away from it. Adam looked at me sheepishly. I felt so annoyed at myself. I knew never to get in the car with anyone who had been drinking. What was wrong with me? I shivered. The thought of another car accident…

  Cameron slipped off his jacket and wrapped it around my shoulders before I could stop him. ‘Let’s go,’ he said, not looking at me. I’d never seen anyone look so disappointed in me before, apart from my family. I suppose he was just worried about his friend. He clearly thought both of us should have known better. And I had to admit, he was right.

  We trailed after him as we walked towards his 4x4. Adam tried to hold my hand again but I folded my arms across my chest. Cameron’s jacket was huge on me but it was warm and smelled musky like he did.

  We climbed into his car in silence – Adam in the front next to Cameron, and me in the back. He drove through the village to a block of flats on the edge, where he stopped and Adam got out. ‘Cheers, mate,’ he said. He looked at me. ‘I’ll call you?’ It was a question. I didn’t reply. He shut the car door and disappeared into the night.

  Now we were alone. Cameron started to drive again, towards the Hall, leaving me in the back like this was a taxi. It was weird, but I didn’t know what to say. I could feel the anger rolling off him still. And I felt sick. Not just from the drink but because of how stupid I had almost been. I tried so hard to forget the accident I was in when I was thirteen, but tonight it felt like it had happened only yesterday. The weight of the past felt suffocating.

  Finally, we pulled into the gates of the Hall and Cameron drove right up to the door, turning off the engine, leaving us in complete silence for a moment.

  I undid my seatbelt and slipped off his coat, passing it to him. He took it without comment, but his eyes met mine in the rear-view mirror. ‘Thank you,’ I said, finally, my voice croaky. I jumped out of the car, needing to get away. There was too much tension in that car. I always ran from tension.

  I hurried up to the door and let myself in. I looked back once and Cameron was still sitting there in the car, waiting for me to go inside, but it was too dark to see his face and I decided that was a good thing. I closed the door behind me, sinking against it with a sigh, and letting out the tears I’d been holding back for the whole drive home.

  * * *

  I decided I needed to do as much work as possible the next day. It felt both like a punishment to myself and the best way not to think about last night. Even if my throat felt fuzzy and my head was banging to remind me. So I tore through Beth’s list of jobs for the day then decided to brush the stairs on my hands and knees and then mop all the wooden floors. I also did two loads of washing and drying, and made a meat and a vegetable curry, leaving them to cook slowly in the Aga before heading out for a run. It was the only way to make it through the day without crumpling into a heap on the floor.

  I fancied a coffee that wasn’t one I made for myself, so I took off towards the village. It was a cool, cloudy day, no sign of any summer sun, but it was nice weather to run in and I pounded along the pavement, trying to burn my negative thoughts away. I knew it wasn’t particularly healthy when I got like this but I couldn’t sit and dwell, I had to keep on moving and then maybe the past wouldn’t catch up to me.

  Sweaty and exhausted by the time I reached Emily’s Bakery, I was relieved to be the only customer inside. She was behind the counter putting out fresh cakes, and looked up with a pleased smile as I went in. ‘This is a nice surprise,’ she said.

  ‘I’ve just been for a run, needed a coffee,’ I said as I got my breath back.

  ‘Well, take a seat. I’ll take a break with you. Go on, it’s on the house.’ She waved me off so I couldn’t refuse and I did feel pretty shattered after my productive day.

  I sank into a chair and Emily brought over a latte and a tea for her, and two brownies. ‘I can’t keep eating cake,’ I protested, taking a sip of the coffee.

  She smiled as she sat down. ‘Please, there’s not an inch of fat on you and you look like you need some sugar.’ She looked at me. ‘Are you okay, Anna?’

  I wondered if I looked as tired as I felt. I took a bite of the brownie. God, it was good. ‘It’s just been a busy day on top of a late night, that’s all.’ I hadn’t slept until the early hours after what had happened. ‘But I got lots done at the Hall, dinner is cooking, and I’ve had a good run.’

  ‘Well, make sure you relax this evening and get an early night. You have to look after yourself. I know, I sound just like your brother, but he’s right sometimes.’

  ‘He thinks he’s right all the time.’

  ‘Brodie just likes to protect the people he cares about. It’s admirable really. I had never met a more caring man before. And he was right about me – I did put other people first sometimes and forgot to look after myself. I’m still learning on that score but he’s helped me to realise it. Half the battle, right?’ She took a big bite of her brownie. ‘Are you settling in okay at the Hall?’ she asked, perhaps sensing I didn’t want to agree with her on my brother being right.

  ‘I’m getting there. It’s so different to anywhere I’ve lived and worked before, you know. I’m enjoying all the cooking though. It’s been a while since I got to do that.’

  ‘It’s exciting about your Hilltop job. Heather was so worried about it but she popped in earlier and seems to be a lot calmer about it now that you’re helping out.’

  ‘Oh no, the pressure!’ But I smiled. I felt pretty confident about the food I was planning to cook. And based on what I’d seen of Heather, I was sure she’
d put a hundred percent into the farm retreat so hopefully Chloe, the reviewer, would be happy.

  ‘Not at all,’ Emily said, quickly. ‘It’s such early days for Hilltop, Heather knows that and she’s so grateful you agreed to do it. Brodie is really proud too. He was telling your mum last night all about your cooking.’

  ‘He was?’ My eyebrows shot up in surprise.

  She looked taken aback at my surprise. ‘Of course. He couldn’t believe you’d never talked about it before or cooked for them.’

  ‘It never really came up,’ I mumbled, uncomfortable. I didn’t know how much Emily was aware of our family dynamic really. I took a long gulp of the coffee and another bite of brownie. She had been right that I needed a sugar fix. ‘I suppose we don’t talk as much as we used to,’ I admitted.

  ‘That’s a shame. I always find Brodie to be a really good listener, you know. And your mum seems lovely. Your dad, I don’t know that well yet but I see his smile whenever they talk about you. They were all so pleased that you decided to come to Glendale, you know.’

  ‘So, they could try to save me?’ I snapped. Her face fell and I felt like a real bitch. ‘I’m sorry,’ I said. ‘I can’t help but always try to do what they don’t want me to, I think. Maybe it’s a habit.’

  ‘They only want you to be happy. And me too. I’m always here if you want to talk about anything. I’m not your real sister, I know, but I hope you’ll think of me as a friend at the very least.’

  It was impossible to not see that Emily was being genuine. But would she feel the same way if she knew the truth about my accident? I doubted that. I was ashamed at getting angry with her though. The stuff with my family wasn’t her fault after all. ‘Thank you. And for these, I did need them. I do sometimes overdo it. Like when I’m trying not to think about things, I guess. I push myself physically instead.’ Ever since I started running to build up my muscles after my accident, it became a mental release. I had some therapy around that time and the doctor said I needed to sometimes just sit and be comfortable with my thoughts. She even suggested that I try meditation to help. But I found it too hard to this day. I needed to be constantly moving.