Always and Forever at Glendale Hall

by Victoria Walters

  And then it was the night of the grand opening. Chloe had invited influencers, journalists, food critics and her foodie friends so the place was packed. I was in the kitchen with Pierre and the sous chef, handing dishes to the wait staff who ferried back and forth from the warehouse. The kitchen was hot and loud and Pierre barked orders at us all evening. I didn’t have a chance to think about anything other than the task in hand and the adrenaline was in full flow. I loved it. I might not have been creating the dishes but I was part of it and I thrived on the energy.

  ‘That’s it,’ Pierre said as the clock struck ten. ‘The final dish has gone out.’

  I slumped against the counter. ‘Blimey.’

  He looked at me. ‘Blimey? I should remove you from my kitchen for describing the night like that.’

  I grinned. ‘Fine. That was amazing. I loved it.’

  He came over to me and lifted me up on the counter. ‘It’s like taking a drug, isn’t it? Pumping through your veins.’ He brushed back my hair. ‘I hate the pink by the way. You should go back to being blonde.’

  ‘And you should learn not to be such a twat,’ I replied.

  Pierre leaned in and kissed me on the lips. For a second, I kissed him back but then I came to my senses and pulled sharply back. He raised an eyebrow. ‘No?’

  ‘It’s a hard no.’ I jumped down and hurried outside. Guilt flooded through me, which was crazy. It felt like I had been about to cheat on Cameron. I stood in the alley, letting the evening air cool down my flushed cheeks. Why couldn’t I forget about him? Why couldn’t I go back to easy flings with men like Pierre? Go back to roaming the country, the world even, without caring about anyone?

  Because I did care.

  I answered the question for myself.

  ‘You okay?’ Ashley came out of the fire door to see me lost in thought. ‘It was a great night. The last tables are just finishing up. Everyone loved the food. You should be smiling.’

  ‘The night was great. I’m really pleased. It’s just…’

  ‘What?’ he asked gently.

  ‘I miss Glendale.’ I shrugged. ‘It’s so stupid.’

  ‘Why is it stupid? I’ve lived away from my hometown for five years but I still think of it as home. Come on, Chloe wants us to toast the night.’ He gestured for me to come in so I followed, one of his words turning over and over in my mind.

  That word was ‘home’.

  Chapter Forty-Two

  I couldn’t believe that I had been in London for four weeks. It was mid-August and summer was reaching its peak. The heat in the city grew unbearable. The restaurant was going really well. It was completely booked for the duration of the pop-up now and the reviews had been as good as I had predicted. Ashley, Pierre and Chloe were already thinking about the future, finding investors and looking for a full-time premises, and they’d made it clear they wanted me to come along with them. The problem was, I still felt lost.

  It had been enjoyable. I liked working hard and the thrill of the busy kitchen excited me, and I felt so satisfied by the end of the night. I enjoyed cooking, I knew that, but now I knew that I loved working in a kitchen. I started to fantasise about what it might be like one day having Pierre’s job. But it just didn’t seem like it was possible for me. I didn’t know how to make it happen.

  And then there was the constant feeling that I was in the wrong place being in London. I was still staying in Chloe and Ashley’s spare room. It just made sense with all the time I was at the restaurant and we got on so well. But what would I do once the pop-up closed? Carrying on working with them and find my own flat in London? Or should I still go to Ibiza as I’d planned next month? The thought of working in a beach bar didn’t excite me as it had before. I kept willing the universe to give me a sign but I was worried that it already had, and I’d ignored it.

  It was Saturday and I got up early for a run. Running in London was an experience I was still getting used to. Pounding busy pavements with traffic beside me wasn’t my favourite but there was a park near to Chloe’s flat that I could run in with more peace and enjoy the morning warmth. I hated that I was comparing everything to my stay in Glendale but it was hard not to think back on my runs there fondly.

  I ran for a long time. It had been a late night at the restaurant, which had been packed with the Friday night crowd, and we’d gone to a bar afterwards so I was feeling a little worse for wear and I wanted to shake the night off.

  When I returned to the flat, I opened the door to the sound of voices, which was surprising as both Ashley and Chloe had still been in bed when I had left for the park. And then I froze as I shut the door because I definitely recognised one of those voices. My heart sped up even more than it had on my run as I walked slowly towards the open-plan living room and kitchen.

  There were five people in the kitchen. And they all turned around as I walked in.

  I hadn’t quite believed it from the voices but now I had to believe my eyes.

  Chloe and Ashley were in the kitchen and so were Beth, Heather and Emily too. I stared at them, wondering what the hell they were doing here.

  ‘Hi, Anna.’ Beth broke the silence, smiling warmly at me. Emily gave me a cheerful wave and Heather a hello nod. The three of them were all sitting on the bar stools while Ashley and Chloe were making teas and coffees. Emily looked like she was about to fall off her stool – in the weeks I’d been gone, her bump had grown even more and I wondered how she’d even got up onto the stool in the first place.

  ‘What are you doing here?’ I asked, still in the doorway, dumbstruck.

  ‘We just fancied a little trip to London,’ Beth said with a shrug. ‘And thought we’d come and say hi.’

  I raised an eyebrow. ‘You expect me to believe that?’

  Emily laughed. She was glowing even more now that she had a tan and with her bigger bump. ‘I told you she’d never buy that,’ she said to Beth.

  ‘Fine. We came to talk to you,’ Beth admitted. ‘Do you want to get dressed? Let’s go out for brunch. Please?’ she added.

  Why was Beth so hard to say no to? ‘Fine, fine,’ I mumbled and shuffled off to the bathroom, my mind whirring as to why they were here. Were they trying to get me to come back to Glendale? My gut instinct was to say no, obviously, and yet just seeing them had put a smile on my face. I jumped in the shower and tried to use the hot water to calm myself down but it was impossible. I wondered if I could ask them about Cameron but I shouldn’t, should I? I had to leave him well alone. Did he know they’d come to see me today? I wanted to shout at myself to stop thinking about him but it had already proved impossible for me to do that.

  I got dressed quickly in a t-shirt and jeans, pulling my hair into a ponytail and not bothering with make-up. I was too curious to see what the three of them had to say, too eager to find out what I’d missed the past month. I pulled on a pair of Converse and grabbed my bag, hurrying back into the kitchen where they were all chatting over hot drinks. ‘I’m ready,’ I found myself saying a little shyly. It had been four weeks since I’d seen them and they were so close. We’d never gone out as a foursome and I had no idea why they’d come all this way to see me. I realised, though, I was pleased that they had.

  ‘Let’s go. Chloe has given us a recommendation around the corner,’ Beth said, hopping down from her stool. She helped Emily climb off hers.

  I smiled. ‘Chloe knows all the best places.’

  ‘Have fun,’ Chloe said with a cheerful wave. She wrapped herself around Ashley, who kissed the top of her head. As always when they were affectionate, I looked away because it was still painful to see them so happy when I felt so lonely. I led Beth, Heather and Emily out of the flat and into the summer sunshine outside. We walked in silence around the corner to the café Chloe loved for brunch, and we found a table in the corner. The waitress came over and we ordered drinks and food. And then there was no putting off the conversation.

  ‘How are you?’ Beth asked me. ‘We haven’t heard from you since you came down.�
� She gave me one of her not-impressed looks. It was so strange to see the three of them in a London café. To me they seemed completely out of place down here. But then again, I had been feeling that so was I.

  ‘I’m good,’ I said, which was a half-lie. ‘I really enjoy working at the restaurant,’ I added, which was true.

  ‘That’s great,’ Emily said. ‘I knew you’d love the atmosphere, there’s nothing like creating things for people to enjoy.’

  I turned to her. ‘More importantly, how are you? Should you have even travelled down here?’ I gave her bump a significant look.

  ‘I wasn’t going to miss out when these two said they were coming,’ Emily said with a wave of her hand. ‘I’m not due until the end of September, and I’m feeling full of energy actually. Although I love Glendale, I do miss living in London sometimes, so I thought I’d better grab my chance to come as I doubt I’ll be back again anytime soon.’

  ‘But why did you guys come?’ I asked, still unsure if they had just come to see me or not. And if so, why?

  ‘It was my idea.’ Heather spoke then. She pushed back her curly hair. ‘We had our final dress fitting a couple of days ago and it just felt like someone was missing. And I said to these guys that it just won’t feel right me and Rory getting married without you there. So, we thought we should come down and persuade you.’

  ‘Really?’ I asked in surprise. I mean, I really liked Heather but I hadn’t known her for long. To think she’d come all this way for me…

  ‘I really want you there. So does Rory. So does everyone. But Brodie thought you probably wouldn’t want to come back to Glendale so we thought if we came down, you’d have to say yes. Plus, I deserve a pre-wedding break so we’re staying the night. We have twenty-four hours to persuade you to come to my wedding. And you know us, we will do it.’ Beth and Emily both nodded in agreement.

  I was saved from having to answer as our food and drinks arrived. I was both taken aback and touched that they’d come all this way to get me to come to the wedding. I hadn’t contacted any of them because I’d been too scared I’d hear their voices and want to rush back to Glendale. I wanted to go to the wedding, but I was scared. ‘I just don’t know,’ I admitted finally when we were alone again with a table full of coffee, tea, eggs, bacon and pancakes. ‘Things were weird when I left.’

  ‘With Cameron?’ Beth said. ‘We know. He came to talk to Brodie and Emily.’

  Chapter Forty-Three

  ‘He did?’ I said, my surprised voice rising in pitch to almost only-dogs-could-hear-me levels.

  ‘He was really upset when he found out you’d left.’ Emily took over the story. ‘He said he’d tried to contact you but you didn’t reply. He didn’t know what to do. He knew he’d hurt you but he told us that it was all a massive misunderstanding. He is desperate to tell you how he feels.’

  ‘I know how he feels,’ I replied, picking at my scrambled eggs. ‘He can’t get over what happened with his ex.’

  ‘But that’s just it, Anna,’ Emily said gently. ‘He says that meeting you has changed everything. He wants to explain what happened. Honestly, he’s gutted that you’ve gone. He’s so miserable, isn’t he, Heather?’

  ‘It’s kind of annoying,’ Heather agreed. ‘But listen, it’s up to you if you want to talk to him or not but please don’t let him stop you coming to the wedding. You’re part of the family now, you have to be there.’

  ‘And if you make up with Cameron so much the better,’ Beth added. She never gave up, did she? ‘Show her the letter,’ she told Emily.

  ‘When we told everyone we were coming down for the weekend, Cameron gave us a letter for you. He really hopes you’ll read it.’ She pulled an envelope out of her handbag and slid it across the table to me.

  I stared at it. ‘What does it say?’

  ‘He wouldn’t tell me,’ Emily said. ‘But he looked broken, Anna. Really.’

  Could he have missed me these past few weeks? Did I want him to have missed me? I mean, of course I did. But the thought that he might miss me, might feel the same way… it was also terrifying.

  ‘Think about reading it, it’s up to you. But please don’t let Cameron keep you away,’ Heather said. ‘I’m getting married in two weeks and I’m so excited but I’m also nervous. I need all of you there with me. It’s going to be so emotional without my mother, getting married in the place she loved and always wanted to—’ She broke off, her voice cracking. Beth squeezed her hand and Heather gave her a grateful smile.

  I felt like such a cow for letting her down. How could I say no? ‘I’ll have to see if Chloe can spare me though,’ I said.

  ‘She already said yes,’ Beth replied.

  Of course Beth would have already asked her. I rolled my eyes. ‘One day someone isn’t going to do what you want them to.’

  She grinned. ‘But then I’d have a lot of fun persuading them, wouldn’t I? I’m sorry, I know I’m too much, but we have missed you. We just really wanted to see you.’

  I was moved by that. To be honest I’d never had anyone follow me when I had left a place before. A couple of times I’d heard from people on social media or had a couple of messages before they gave up when I didn’t respond, but no one had ever come after me like this. ‘I’m glad you’re here,’ I admitted. They all smiled happily at that. I tucked into my breakfast, feeling for the first time that I actually had proper friends. Despite all my protesting that I didn’t want to be tied down by caring about people or having people care about me, it felt really good to have them here. I eyed Cameron’s envelope and when I’d finished eating, I put it in my bag to be dealt with later, when I was alone and could decide if I wanted to read it or not.

  ‘I think we need a shopping trip,’ Beth said when we’d finished. ‘We never come to the city. We need to make the most of it. And we all deserve a treat.’

  ‘I’ve got a couple of hours before I said I’d pop in and see Mum and Dad,’ Emily agreed. Her parents still lived in London but I knew they were planning to retire to Glendale next year to be closer to their family.

  We wandered around Islington and found some great independent clothes and homeware shops plus we had a mooch around the bookshop, where Beth bought Izzy a few books. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d gone shopping with other women. Maybe not since I was a teenager with my mum. I was surprised by how much fun the four of us had.

  ‘How’s my brother doing?’ I asked Emily in a shop as we waited for Beth and Heather to pay for what they wanted. I had picked up a vintage leather jacket and a print of one of my favourite album covers. I had hesitated as I had never hung things on walls, or bought much home décor, thanks to moving so much, but Emily had encouraged me as it had made me smile to see it. I felt good for having bought it, and hoped I’d get to hang it up one day soon in a place I wanted to stay long enough to put it up.

  ‘Brodie talked about you a lot once you left,’ Emily said, moving towards the door. I followed. She clearly wanted to speak to me without the other two. ‘He really loved getting to know you better once you came to Glendale.’ We stepped outside. The sun was out in full force. I wondered if it was as hot up in Scotland at the moment. ‘It felt to him like when you were younger.’

  I smiled. It was lovely to hear that he thought that. ‘We were close when we were younger. Obviously, he was older and I was his annoying little sister but we were a close family. And then he kind of went off with his friends and my parents were worried, and I didn’t really understand, you know? And then the accident happened, and it changed everything for all of us. We couldn’t talk like we used to and there was a lot of misunderstanding, which I only realise now.’

  ‘It’s amazing how just talking can help so much. I’m glad the two of you got to reconnect. I hope you’ll come back to Glendale. I know Brodie would love it. Family means so much to us. I think he just hopes he can be part of whatever you do next.’

  ‘I would like that too,’ I admitted. I thought about how I used to get reall
y annoyed that Brodie had everything figured out. I compared myself to him. I thought our parents compared me to him. I thought I’d never be good enough for my family. But I didn’t feel that way now. I had to find my own way in the world. And they would love me regardless. I felt bad for not speaking to my parents like my brother had suggested. We did need to put the past to rest. I could do that if I returned to Glendale.

  ‘So, do you think you have finally found what you want to do?’ Emily asked.

  I smiled. ‘I do love working in a restaurant. I love cooking and I want to learn more. It’s just deciding how I do that. I’m used to doing things my own way and being independent. I need to feel like I’ve earnt things for myself, you know?’

  ‘I do understand, but even if you get a helping hand along the way, it doesn’t mean you don’t earn your success. Beth rented me my bakery space. But it’s mine. I have built it up to be successful, she just gave me that first footing on the ladder. It doesn’t take away my own hard work.’ She turned to see Beth and Heather coming out of the shop. ‘I like that you’re a free spirt. Even if you do come back to Glendale, even if you do accept help, you’ll always live your own way. Because that’s who you are.’ She smiled at the others. ‘I need to go to my parents’ now.’

  ‘Shall we drop Anna home and then head to the hotel?’ Beth said to Heather. She turned to me. ‘Chloe’s booked us in to eat at your restaurant tonight.’

  We all headed off. My mind was whirring. I thought about Emily believing that, whatever happened, I could do things my own way and I liked that idea. I wanted to stop running from people and places but I would always want to be free. It was who I was now. Was there a way to do both?