Always and Forever at Glendale Hall

by Victoria Walters

  ‘I do,’ I said. It was a relief to say it out loud. I had been so annoyed at Beth and Brodie for making all these plans for me when I hadn’t even decided what I wanted but I think it was because I knew instantly deep down that they were right about what I should do. I just needed to make the choice for myself. And working here in London had decided it for me. I wanted to be in my own kitchen one day for real. I knew that it would be a long road to get there but, finally, I had a direction for my life. And it felt good. I didn’t feel as lost anymore.

  Chloe came in then. ‘Why are you both up so early? And why are you smiling like that, Anna? It’s freaking me out.’

  ‘It’s freaking me out too,’ I replied with a laugh. I felt a hundred times lighter.

  ‘You’re looking at a future chef over here,’ Ashley said, leaning to give her a kiss. The diamond on Chloe’s finger sparkled even more in the morning light.

  ‘Of course I am,’ Chloe agreed. ‘I told her that the night I tasted her food for the first time. And I’m always right.’

  I rolled my eyes as Ashley shook his head. She grinned at us. ‘I bet I’m right about something else too,’ she said, pouring herself a coffee.

  ‘What’s that?’ I asked, feeling a little bit nervous to hear what she had to say.

  ‘That you left a piece of your heart back in Glendale.’

  ‘On that note, I’m going for a shower.’ I slipped off the stool as she protested it wasn’t fair for me not to answer and Ashley laughed heartily at us. I skipped into the bathroom. I had no idea what to do about Cameron’s letter but I knew one thing, Chloe was right. I had left a piece of my heart behind me in Glendale. I just needed to decide whether to go back to get it or not.

  * * *

  Chloe came into my room late on the Thursday night before I was due back in Glendale. It was Heather’s wedding on Saturday so I was getting the train in the morning and I was packing a bag ready. Beth said I could have my old room at the Hall for the weekend and it was strange to feel like I was packing to go home. But the Hall was the closest I’d had to a home since childhood. I was excited to go back but nervous too. I still hadn’t decided what to say to Cameron but I was hoping that when I saw him, I would know.

  ‘Thank you for coming down here to help,’ Chloe said, perching on the bed as I packed. ‘Even Pierre said you were a life-saver,’ she added with a smile. ‘He won’t admit it but that red wine sauce worked so much better once you worked your magic on it.’

  ‘He definitely will never admit that,’ I agreed. ‘This has been such a great opportunity and it’s really made me want to do it for myself one day. I knew I loved cooking but honestly until we met, I had never thought about it seriously as a career. So, I’m the one who should be thanking you.’

  Chloe waved her hand. ‘It was selfish – I wanted the best team for Ashley and Pierre and that included you. I’m glad that you’ve seen sense though, that you should be doing this as your job.’

  ‘It’s been a long road. I haven’t known what I really wanted for a long time.’ I shrugged. ‘I can’t complain about all the places I’ve seen but maybe it’s time to focus on what I want to do.’

  ‘I’m proud of you. And, listen, I know there are a couple of weeks left until the pop-up closes, but we’ll be absolutely fine without you. I get the feeling that once you’re back in Glendale, you might not want to leave it again.’ She stood up. ‘No need to decide either way now. I just didn’t want you to feel like you had to come back. Sometimes when a fresh start is beckoning, it’s better to start straight away. What’s the point in waiting?’ Then she winked.

  ‘What are you planning, Chloe?’ I asked. I knew her well enough by now to recognise the mischievous look on her face.

  ‘I couldn’t possibly say but, remember, follow your heart, okay? Promise me.’ She hovered in the doorway for my response.

  I sighed. ‘I will promise to try,’ I said. That was all I was willing to agree to for now.

  ‘You’ve got this, Anna. I’ll be eating at your restaurant one day, I know it.’

  With that, she skipped out, always a bundle of enthusiastic energy. I hoped she was right. I carried on packing and found myself humming as I did so.

  Chapter Forty-Six

  I had been in London for longer than I had lived in Glendale but the sight of it was more welcome than I could have imagined. Brodie was waiting at Inverness train station to collect me and drive me to the village and as we passed by the sign I felt my body relax in a way it just hadn’t done while I was down in London.

  ‘It’s been much quieter without you, you know,’ Brodie said as we drove through the village. I had sat up in my seat to look out of the car window at the shops rolling past. I turned to give him a glare, and he broke into a grin. ‘We missed you.’

  ‘Well, good. Can we pull over a sec? I want to talk to you before we get to the Hall.’ I knew that everyone would be there and I needed to speak to my brother alone first. Brodie looked curious but did as I asked and stopped just on the road to the Hall. It felt so familiar to me and it was good to see it again. I already couldn’t wait to run out here again. I had missed my solitary mornings outside in the countryside. Even the air felt different to London.

  ‘Is everything okay?’ Brodie asked once we’d stopped and he’d turned off the engine. He had on what I liked to call his ‘serious vicar’ face, even though today he was just in jeans and a t-shirt. I wondered if he’d always be nervous when I asked to talk to him. And if I’d always feel nervous to do so. Hopefully one day we’d get there, I wanted us to talk more.

  ‘I hope so,’ I said with a nod. ‘I’ve been doing a lot of thinking down in London. I thought I’d be able to just move on like I always do. Start over and forget all of this.’ I gestured outside the car. ‘But I couldn’t. I enjoyed being here more than I thought I would. Much more. I love living at the Hall, I’ve made friends there, being close to you and Emily has been great too, and cooking for you all has been so much fun. I’ve never had people to cook for like that before.’

  ‘I was so surprised at how talented you were, and the smile on your face when you’re cooking and serving it all, I can tell how much you love it.’ Brodie smiled with genuine pleasure. I could tell he really did want to see me happy.

  ‘And then getting to work for the past few weeks in a proper restaurant just sealed it for me. I’ve spent so long being kind of aimless, I suppose, thinking that I needed to try everything and see everywhere, but I didn’t ever stop to think about whether doing that was making me happy. I think I needed to go off and experience it, though. I needed to come to terms with everything that happened. I didn’t know who I was and I needed time to discover the person I am and want to be. Now I know what I want. And a lot of that is down to you and everyone here.’

  ‘Well, I’m pleased. So, what do you want to do next? Are you going back to London? Or are you still heading abroad?’

  I shook my head. ‘Chloe said she was fine with me not finishing my last couple of weeks at the pop-up. It’s all running well, they will be absolutely fine without me. I was planning on going back but when she said that, I thought why not just get started on what I want to do, you know? I had a refundable ticket to Ibiza so I’ve got my money back. It’s not where I want to be right now.’ I took a deep breath. ‘I called your contact at the Inverness cookery school,’ I said, knowing that I was rushing to get my words out. I still felt kind of awkward baring my soul to my brother but it was getting easier. And I needed to get all of this out. ‘I’ve got a place if I want it on their diploma course in September. But I need to go and look around the college and meet with him. I wondered if you’d come with me?’

  ‘Definitely,’ he said quickly. ‘I’m so proud of you. I think you will be amazing. Do you need help with the course fees?’

  ‘Actually, I think I have enough. I can put the Ibiza ticket towards it and everything I’ve saved this summer. Plus, it’s a part-time course so I can work at the same time.
’ I took a breath. ‘I’m going to ask Beth if I can continue working at the Hall while I do it. I think I can manage most of what needs to be done at the Hall and the course is in the evenings anyway. I know that Heather said she might hire a chef for Hilltop next year but I think I would rather do things this way.’ I felt like I’d be more independent this way, and Cameron was in the back of my mind. I wasn’t sure working at Hilltop, or even living there – which I supposed I would need to do if I took the chef job – was a good idea, no matter what happened between us. I needed my own life whatever relationship I had, I was sure of that. I would always want to live on my own terms.

  ‘I think it’s a great idea,’ Brodie agreed with a nod. My chest sagged with relief. I hadn’t realised how important his opinion was to me until I heard it. ‘I’m thrilled you’ll be staying in Glendale while you do this. Even if you’re not here forever, I’m really looking forward to spending time with you and the fact you’ll be around when the baby comes makes me really happy.’

  ‘Me too,’ I said with a smile. I was going to be an auntie and I’d actually get to know my niece or nephew. It was pretty cool. ‘One more thing I’d like your help with… I need to go and see Mum and Dad. I’ve put it off ever since we talked about the accident. But I can’t chicken out anymore, especially now I’m moving here. I want to see them more. I want to put the past behind us as much as we can. I wish I had talked to you all more but I can’t change the fact I didn’t, I can just do better from now on.’

  ‘It works both ways. We should have talked about the accident too. We should have seen that you weren’t okay. That you blamed yourself. We’ll go and see them and we’ll talk it all through. It will be okay, Anna, I know it will. I have faith.’

  I smiled. ‘Good, one of us needs to.’

  I was taken aback then when Brodie suddenly leaned over to give me a quick squeeze. ‘You are stronger than you’ll ever know,’ he said into my ear.

  ‘Right, we should get going,’ I said, clearing my throat. I hid my pleased smile from him. I felt like I finally had the chance to have my family back in my life and that made me happier than I could have guessed.

  ‘Right,’ he agreed, starting up the car. I always thought my brother had a holier-than-thou attitude but I think that was just because I thought he disapproved of my life; I now knew it wasn’t that, he had been trying to look out for me. But I had needed to make my own decisions. And that was okay, I thought. He was here for me if I needed him, but I also knew I would always try to do things for myself. That was part of who I was. And I liked who I was.

  Now I was free of the guilt that had haunted me, I didn’t have to worry that I didn’t deserve to have what I wanted in life, I could instead focus on achieving it.

  I watched as the gates of Glendale Hall came into view, open ready for us, and I smiled to see the house rising up in front of me. Its grand exterior was different to the warmth within I knew. I had been intimidated when I had first arrived here but coming back to it now was just like coming home. I understood why Beth and Izzy felt so rooted here; why they never wanted to leave. Beth had been right about its ability to work magic – it had for me. I thought you’d have to have a heart made of stone not to fall in love with this house.

  It was a grey day but nothing could dampen my spirits as I climbed out of the car and walked up to the door with Brodie, carrying my bags as I had done when he had first brought me here, but feeling like I was at a completely different point in my life two months later.

  The door opened before we knocked. ‘You’re home!’ Beth exclaimed when she saw us, bouncing on her bare feet. She wrapped her arms around me. ‘So happy to have you back.’

  God, was I going to cry? ‘I’m happy to be back,’ I managed to say through the lump in my throat. I walked into the hallway, and I took in the grandfather clock, the vase of fresh lavender on the side table, and the chandelier hanging from the ceiling, and I broke into a wide smile.

  ‘Take your things up to your room, I’m just getting lunch ready, everyone is in the kitchen,’ Beth said as she ushered Brodie in and closed the front door. I walked up the stairs as they went off into the kitchen. The house was quiet as I made my way to my room, peeping in to the other rooms as I went. The house was nowhere near as clean and tidy as it had been before I left, which actually made me feel needed – the house felt as if it had missed me like I had missed it. Which was probably crazy to think, but still.

  Pushing open the door to my room, I carried in my bags, putting them down on to the floor and walking over to the window to look down at the grounds below. I had missed this view so much. All the open air and green outside of my window. I would never take that for granted. Turning, I saw there was something on the four-poster bed. It was a notecard that said ‘Welcome Home!’ and, on the back, everyone at the Hall had signed it – Beth, Drew, Izzy, Caroline, John and even Sally. Then I couldn’t help it. A little tear poked out of my eye. I brushed it away, embarrassed at myself, glad no one else was here to witness it.

  But I’d never had a place to call my own. It was still temporary, I was certain of that. I wanted to be a chef and have my own restaurant and my own place to live one day but for now, this was where I both wanted and needed to be. For now, it was home.

  I opened my bag and pulled out the print I had bought in Islington. I was going to hang it up in here. For the first time, I was going to make the room I slept in feel like it was actually mine.

  I smiled as I thought about Beth calling Glendale Hall my home.

  It really did feel that way.

  Chapter Forty-Seven

  Lunch at Glendale Hall. I had missed the chaos, the laughter, everyone talking over one another, and the food. Sally had been in charge today as Beth wanted everything to taste amazing and there were lots of treats from Emily’s Bakery too, of course. As well as the Hall gang, Heather, Rory, her dad Don and little Harry were joining us and of course Brodie, Emily and Iona too. Izzy’s cat Ginny even made an appearance crying for food. Izzy snuck her some ham when her mum wasn’t looking.

  It was difficult not to feel the absence of Cameron, and even Angus, but they were working on their farms and I also knew that Cameron wouldn’t come until I let him know if I wanted to see him or not. He’d bared his soul in that letter and now it was my turn. But I couldn’t help but want to put that off. It certainly wasn’t easy to change the habits of a lifetime.

  For now, though, I focused on how good it felt to be back. I piled my plate up with crusty bread, potato salad, cheese, veggie sausage rolls, cold pasta, salad, and boiled eggs and joined everyone crowded around the table with extra chairs for those who couldn’t fit. The French doors were flung open out to the garden and a fresh breeze blew in. There was wine for the adults and homemade lemonade and juice for the kids, and Emily of course, and I’m not sure there was a more enjoyable lunch to be found anywhere else in the world.

  ‘Okay, you have to tell us all about London,’ Izzy begged me from across the table. ‘Did you go to the British Library? Or King’s Cross Station?’

  ‘I not sure Anna did the Harry Potter tour,’ Beth told her daughter fondly.

  I smiled. ‘I didn’t. I was working mostly. The restaurant was so busy and we had such late nights that in the day I mostly chilled. I did do some shopping, though, and I ran in the park most days.’ Izzy grimaced at that. Like her mother, she was averse to most exercise. ‘I loved being in the kitchen. It was a real adrenaline rush every night.’

  ‘I get that in the bakery on busy mornings,’ Emily said. ‘So I can only imagine what a restaurant is like. What was your favourite thing to do?’

  ‘Making the sauces. Pierre let me help after a while. You have to ease him in to change. He’s a real control freak but he is a talented chef. He’d turn his nose up at this kind of spread though. He’s way too fancy. I loved helping him to get the flavours just right… It’s really an art.’

  ‘I liked his food,’ Beth said. ‘But honestly, the portions
… It was ridiculous!’

  ‘I was still hungry afterwards,’ Heather agreed. ‘I hope your restaurant will do proper portions,’ she said to me, gesturing to her full plate.

  ‘It will,’ I promised, thinking how strange it was to be talking about having one of my own one day. It still felt so far off into the future but I was determined to get there. It wouldn’t be easy but I loved a challenge and I knew now it was what I wanted to do. I looked at Beth, Heather and Emily. All businesswomen running successful companies during a time when having a small business was so difficult, and in a small town too. They were all an inspiration. And I knew I could count on their help and support too. Which made it all feel a little less scary.

  After lunch, Beth asked me to help her pack up some greenhouse produce to take to the Glendale shop. I knew though it was an excuse for us to be alone so we left the others and walked across the lawn towards the large greenhouse. They grew all sorts of things at the Hall and some we ate and some were sold in the shop. ‘You looked like you had things on your mind,’ Beth said as we walked side-by-side. She had on her garden boots, even though it was summer, and a long cardigan as the breeze was chilly.

  I had to walk quickly to keep up with her long strides. I explained what I had told Brodie earlier. ‘But that’s only if you would still need me here, of course. I completely understand…’

  ‘Of course we need you!’ she interrupted. ‘I didn’t want to say because I didn’t want to pressure you or make you feel guilty, but honestly this place is already starting to fall apart. I feel like the chore list gets longer and longer so we definitely need you and we will work around your studies.’ She opened the greenhouse and we went inside, the warmth a welcome from the breeze outside. ‘I’m so pleased. I thought maybe you’d stay for the wedding then go back to London. But you’re coming home! We honestly think of you as one of the family already.’