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Losing You

Page 10

by Gen Ryan


  Abby wrung her hands and I took a deep breath.

  “Biggs was arrested.”

  I sagged back against the wall, bracing myself for what was to come. “I’ve had some officers come to me about Biggs’s actions over the past months. Secret calls, mystery meetings on the clock. I thought something was up and had a close watch on him, but tonight….” The chief shook his head and looked away, clearly trying to keep his emotions in check. “He went and did something I thought he never would.” Abby sucked in her breath sharply.

  “What do you mean?” I asked.

  “Colton was hit at the only spot in the vest where there was an opening. Some may see that as a coincidence. I do not.” Tears rimmed my eyes at the realization of what he was saying. It was intentional. “Plus I had lots of evidence that I’d been compiling against him. Phone logs tracing him back to Vega, pictures taken by our internal affairs showing Biggs with Vega and Sergio. We just wanted to catch him in the act.” The chief looked down at the floor. “I should have brought James in on it. It might have saved his life.”

  “Biggs set him up,” Abby whispered.

  “That fucking bastard. It was for lieutenant, wasn’t it?”

  The chief nodded.

  “Vega and Sergio were apprehended and admitted everything. Biggs will be going away for a long time.” He let out a small laugh. “At what cost though? A good officer is lying on his death bed.”

  “It wasn’t your fault.” Abby put her hand on his shoulder to comfort him.

  “He’s going to be okay. He has to be.”

  The chief and Abby both looked at me. Fuck. I hadn’t meant to say that out loud.

  “Of course he will be, son.”

  Abby’s cell phone trilled. “Excuse me,” she said as she walked down the hall to take the call.

  “He told me about you, ya know?” My eyes widened. “He said he was trying to balance work and a new relationship. I told him to make it work.” He grumbled, “Well in my own way I did. I’m glad he did. He’s going to need you now more than ever.”

  “Thank you for coming by to see him.” I held the door with my hand. I needed to see him.

  “Of course.” He turned to walk away.

  “Chief?” I called after him.

  “Yeah?”

  “Did he get it? Is he a lieutenant?”

  He smiled. “He was always my top pick. I just had to make him work for it. Being a hard-ass is kind of my thing.”

  I pushed the door open and cringed as it creaked in my hands, the noise sounding brutal in the quiet room.

  Colton was attached to so many monitors and tubes he didn’t even look the same. His smile, the laughter from the last time I saw him, was gone. All I heard was the beeping of machines, the oxygen mask hiding his handsome face. I pulled a chair to the side of his bed and sat down, taking his hand in mine.

  “I’m so sorry, Colton.” I rubbed his hand with my thumb. “I know you’re tired and in pain, but you have to fight, okay? Fight for me because....” The lump in my throat made my voice crack. “I love you, dammit. I fucking love you and can’t lose you. I can’t bear losing you too.”

  A voice cleared behind me. The doctor stood in the doorway.

  “Brad, you’re a match.” All I could do was smile down at the man who had stolen my heart. I laughed through the tears that streamed down my face because of fate. Abby was right. So much about Colton and me stemmed from fate. Our meeting, falling in love, and now this. I was going to save him. Our love wouldn’t end with his sudden death. I could save him. I ran up and hugged the doctor, who patted my back awkwardly.

  “I need you to understand that living with one kidney is doable, but there are a lot of things you might not be able to do anymore.” He flipped through some papers and checked off a few things.

  Melanie came in right as the doctor made that comment and put her arm around me.

  “Like surfing?” she asked.

  “Surfing can be dangerous. But we can see how you fare with just one kidney after a while. It might be something you will never do again.” I looked back at Colton, his body seeming so fragile in the hospital bed. I’d give it all up for him, the sun kissing my skin, the waves crashing against my body. I’d give it all up just to hear his voice again.

  “I’m willing to take that risk.”

  Melanie squeezed my shoulder.

  The doctor nodded and told me he’d be back with paperwork, and then we’d get started right away.

  “Call my parents, Melanie. Tell them what’s going on.”

  “Okay,” she said. “I’ll stay here. Through the whole thing. Max and Jason are on their way too. We’ll be here for you and Colton.”

  I took her hands in mine. “You’re a great friend.”

  She kissed my cheek and went to the elevator to go outside to call my parents. I knew they’d be with me too.

  “You’re a match?” Abby screeched as she raced down the hall.

  “I am.”

  Abby hugged me, her tears staining my shirt. I held her close because although I knew that this was what I wanted to do, I was scared. There were still so many what-ifs with a kidney transplant. Colton’s body could reject it; all of this could be in vain.

  He was worth the risk.

  Abby released me and wiped her eyes. “Are you sure you’re okay with this?” she asked.

  I looked at her and smiled. “I love him.” There was no further explanation needed. When you loved someone you were willing to do anything for them. Move away. Give up your job. Donate a kidney. I wanted a life with Colton. The forever kind. And I wouldn’t give up on that dream so easily. My old dream of being a surfer was worth giving up for the man I loved.

  23

  ___________

  COLTON

  My eyes didn’t want to fucking open. It was pissing me off. I tried and tried as I heard voices mumbling around me. There was medical equipment beeping, rolling wheels, and the tightness of the blood pressure cuff on my arm.

  “Do you mind?” I mumbled as my eyes fluttered open finally. The nurse rolled her eyes and walked away.

  “You’re awake.” I heard my sister’s voice before I saw her. My eyes adjusted and she leaned over me, kissing my cheek. “We thought you’d never wake up.”

  “Not getting rid of me that easily.” I tried to sit up and winced at the pain in my side. I placed my hand there and felt the softness of a bandage wrapped around my abdomen. It was wrapped tight and made it harder to breathe.

  “You had a kidney transplant. It was bad, Colt.” Abby’s eyes glistened with tears but she stood up straight and composed herself.

  “Damn.” I lay back down and closed my eyes. Everything hurt. My body ached, my throat was dry as hell, and I wanted nothing more than a cool drink of water. But none of that kept the thoughts of Brad away.

  “It was Brad.”

  I opened my eyes and Abby let her tears fall. I brought my hand to my eyes. No, those tears were my own.

  “He gave me his kidney?”

  She nodded. “We all tried. But he was a match. It was fate.” She smiled.

  Maybe it was fate. Lord knew I never believed in any of that shit. I touched my bandage again. But lying in this bed, my life owed to a man who was willing to literally give me a kidney, it couldn’t be anything else. I laid my head back and realized something.

  It wasn’t fate. It was love.

  “I need to see him and Chief, tell him what happened that night.”

  “It’s all set, Colt.” Abby patted my hand, then gave it a squeeze. “Your chief had a watch on Biggs for a while. Needless to say, this wasn’t how he pictured things panning out, but Biggs is in custody and Vega and Sergio flipped on him, which gave the chief enough evidence to put him away for a long time.”

  I let out a breath. The Vega case was closed. No longer did I have to worry about getting a call due to new evidence to take Vega down or more hours needed. Biggs was going to jail, so the lieutenant spot was mine. That didn’t
bring me the least bit of happiness. Justice was served, but all I could think about was Brad.

  “I need to see Brad.”

  “I’ll see what I can do.” Abby left me alone with my thoughts. How was I going to repay Brad? This wasn’t a loan or a ride to the store; he gave me life.

  When Abby came back some time later, she was smiling. “Okay. They gave me a hell of a time, but they agreed to move you into his room,” she said.

  “Let’s go, then!” I fumbled with all the shit hanging from my body.

  “Settle down. You’re not going anywhere,” the nurse said as she rescued the cord I was attempting to unplug. “You just had an organ implanted in your body. You need to stay in ICU for twenty-four hours, and then we can make sure you two get a room to share.”

  Reluctantly, I nodded. I knew me getting up wasn’t a good idea, but it didn’t stop me from wanting it.

  “Do you want me to stay?” Abby asked through her yawn. My poor sister had probably been by my side the entire time. She needed a good night’s sleep.

  “No. Go home, kiss Olivia for me.” I scrunched up my nose. “Take a shower.”

  “Hey,” she said playfully. “I’ve been in this hospital for a week. Of course I haven’t showered.”

  “I didn’t notice,” I said through a laugh, then grabbed my side as pain shot through it.

  “All right there, Mr. Comedian. You’ll rip your stitches. Calm down.” The nurse scowled at me, and when she turned around I stuck my tongue out behind her back. Abby giggled. She leaned in and kissed my forehead.

  “I’ll be back tonight with Olivia and Lee. Is that okay?”

  “I’d love to see them.”

  “I love you. See you later.” Abby waved as she left, leaving me and Nurse Scowlface. She lectured me some more on how I needed to stay still and relax if I wanted to be released to a room in the transplant wing. That was enough to make me shut up and be a good boy. For some reason I was nervous. Okay, I was nervous for good reason. Brad had given me a part of him. Beyond the intimate moments we’d shared, I had a piece of him. I rubbed my side. A piece of him that would be mine forever.

  If it weren’t for the pain medicine Nurse Scowlface kept pumping into me, I wouldn’t have slept at all. After a quick visit with Abby, Lee, and Olivia, I was out.

  “Rise and shine.” I pried my eyes open and smiled because it was a different nurse. “I’m Tammi and I’m going to be your nurse up on the transplant floor. I just wanted to introduce myself.” She patted my leg and checked my machines.

  “Looking good, Colton. Your body seems to be taking well to the kidney.” She pressed some buttons on the machine. “You’re one lucky guy, you know that?” Tammi smiled down at me. “I’ll let the nurses know you can be transferred.”

  I was a lucky guy. I should have been dead or on my way there, but I was getting a second chance at life. The thing with second chances was they always insinuated that you’d done something wrong the first time. I worked a lot, that much I knew, and it all seemed so pointless. Sitting in the hospital bed and contemplating everything, the thing running through my mind wasn’t my job, how I wanted to catch criminals; it was Brad, the man who’d given me that second chance.

  I wanted nothing more than to see him, but I didn’t know what to say. A simple thank-you wasn’t enough for all he had given me. For all I wanted him to continue giving me. Laying my head back against the bed, I closed my eyes and hoped the words would come to me.

  “Knock knock.” I opened my eyes just as the door to my room opened. “I’m Trevor. I’ll be wheeling you up to your room on the transplant floor.”

  I scooted myself up on the bed.

  “Thanks, Trevor.”

  He whistled as he turned knobs on the bed and disconnected some cords.

  “All right, we’re off.”

  Other than beeping machines and the hospital smell that lingered around every corner we turned, it was as if I were being wheeled to my fate. Fate. Something that my sister believed so strongly in and I…. Well, it wasn’t that I didn’t believe in it. I’d just never seen it happen. But I was heading to the man I’d fallen hard for. The man who happened to be a match to donate a kidney. A man who’d saved my life in more ways than one.

  “Here we are.” Trevor opened the door. I was too far back to see in. Damn. I wanted to see Brad. “Looks like your roommate has already settled in.” I took in a sharp breath as Trevor wheeled me in.

  In the corner I saw Brad’s parents. They smiled when they saw me. I placed a finger to my mouth for them to keep quiet. I glanced over at Brad, lying in the bed next to mine, his eyes closed, his chest rising and falling with his breaths. God, he was even more handsome than I remembered. His sandy-blond hair, his skin that seemed to have a perpetual tan. I wanted nothing more than to crawl next to him and hold him close.

  “All set.” Trevor patted my leg. “Good luck with everything.”

  Stacy and Frank both stood up and came to either side of me.

  “How are you feeling?” Stacy looked down at me, concern on her face as she searched my entire body.

  “I’m fine. Thanks to your son.” My voice broke with my words.

  “He’d do anything for you,” Frank added.

  “I’d do anything for him.”

  “We know.” Stacy and Frank looked at each other, and then with a squeeze to my shoulders, I was left alone with Brad.

  I watched him sleep. The way his eyes fluttered when he was dreaming, his fingers twitched, his little moans. I’d never watched him sleep before; I’d been too busy to stop and appreciate what I had in front of me. But lying in bed, looking at the man who gave up so much for me, I knew I was an idiot not to realize it before.

  “I love you, Brad,” I said. A smile curved on his lips and his eyes opened. He looked at me, the smile never leaving his face.

  “It took me giving you a kidney to get you to say that,” he teased.

  “Hey. In my defense, I planned on saying it. When the time was right. Something about epic gun fights and near-death experiences put things into perspective.”

  He reached his hand out for me and I rubbed it.

  “I know what you mean. When I left California, I almost left an ‘I love you’ on your voice mail.” Brad laughed and then grabbed his side.

  “Careful. Nurse Scowlface told me not to laugh or I’ll rip my stitches.”

  Brad nodded. “I thought I’d lost you.” A tear escaped his eye as he looked at me. “I got off the plane and when I saw Melanie in your house I knew something was wrong. I’m glad I was a match. Now you’ll always have a part of me.”

  “I’m grateful that I get to live my life now. But you didn’t have to give me a kidney to prove that I’d always have a part of you, because I’m not going anywhere. You’re stuck with me.”

  “There’s no one else I’d rather be stuck with.” We both laughed and groaned at the same time.

  “I want to kiss you so bad,” Brad said. “But if I get out of this bed I know I’ll rip something.”

  “We’ve got a lifetime of kissing ahead of us, Brad. And fucking and surfing.”

  He cringed at the last words.

  “What?” I asked.

  “Doctor isn’t sure if I can surf. We’ll have to see how I do with just one kidney.”

  His words made it hard for me to breathe. He’d given up everything. His love of surfing could be gone forever because of what he’d done for me. He gave me life.

  “Brad—”

  He held up his hand to stop me.

  “I knew what I was getting into before I donated my kidney. The doctor explained the risks. The risk of losing you was superior to anything. Even surfing. I’d never surf another day in my life just to get to see you smile one more time.”

  I put my hands on the sides of my bed and adjusted it, grunting as I tried my best to get upright.

  “Stop. You’re going to hurt yourself.”

  I ignored Brad’s words. Simply being in the ro
om with him wasn’t enough anymore. I needed to be next to him. Feel his heart beat against mine. I managed to get up. I was hunched over, not able to stand fully due to the strain it would put on my side. I dragged my feet a few steps forward and plopped myself into the bed with Brad. He pulled me close.

  “There. This is where I want to be.”

  Brad shook his head and brought his lips down on mine. “I love you.” His words caressed my lips, breathing life back into my body and soul as he kissed me like he’d never kiss me again. That’d never happen though. A life without Brad wasn’t in the cards for me. I knew I held my life in my own hands; my fate was mine and mine alone. The stars, the universe, they were on my side. I just had to be patient. Work out the kinks of my life before I ended up where I needed to be, where I was meant to be—in Brad’s arms.

  24

  ___________

  BRAD

  One Year Later

  “Are you sure this is a good idea?” I crinkled my toes in the sand as Colton held out my surfboard to me. It’d been one year since I was down a kidney. I was doing well. We both were. Colton’s body hadn’t rejected my kidney. I was healthy, and although a few pounds lighter, the doctor said I could return to my normal activities. Which meant to Colton that I had to get right back to surfing. So we flew out to visit my parents and to surf.

  “I’m sure it’s a good idea. I didn’t fly us all the way out here and take a week’s vacation just so you could let your toes touch the sand.” He frowned. “Now get your cute ass on the surfboard and show me that you still got it.”

  Oh, I still had it. Surfing was in my blood. Something I’d never shake. I snatched the board and walked out to the water, its warmth touching my toes and washing away the sand. I let my fingers graze over the scar where they’d taken my kidney. It was a constant reminder of that day. I’d thought I’d lost him. I glanced back as he lay on his stomach and watched. He smiled at me. The crooked smile that made me fall in love with him. I hadn’t lost him. He was right here, where he’d always be.

 

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