My Only Reason (Men of Monroe Book 2)

by Rachel Brookes

  I wrapped my arms around Mom and held her tight. Dad had always been my ultimate cheerleader, and he knew all my biggest dreams and supported every single one of them. In his eyes, nothing was unattainable, and anything was achievable if you did everything in your power to get it. He always encouraged everything Cora and I wanted to do, and nothing was too big or too crazy.

  I wasn’t sure how long we stood in each other’s arms, but the silence swirling around us, and the sniffs told me we both went deep into our own thoughts. When Mom patted my back, it was time to step back into the present before we both drowned in the past.

  “Okay, sweetie, time for me to head home and rest my weary body before we do it all over again tomorrow.” Mom released me, then grabbed her purse from under the workbench and wrapped a scarf around her neck.

  I followed her to the door and gave her another quick, tight squeeze. “Thanks again, Mom.”

  She patted my cheek. “Anything for you.”

  I watched her until she got in her car and pulled away from the curb, then I locked myself in. After making sure I’d finished everything I needed to do and ensuring everything was back in the cool room that needed to be in there, I put my hands on my hips and spun around in the middle of the shop.

  What a day.

  But for now, I had to get my ass out of here and get home before Sasha and Missy arrived.

  I turned off the main lights and set the alarm, then stepped out into the frigid night air. Turning my back to the street, I locked up before spinning back around to walk to my car.

  “Holy shit!” I screeched when I came face to face with a young guy. Dressed in all black, he was wearing a light gray beanie and looked to be in his late teens, maybe early twenties.

  “Sorry, sorry, sorry!” he said, holding his hands up. “Crap, I didn’t mean to scare you.”

  “Who are you?” I stuttered while my heart slammed in my chest.

  “I just got back into town, and I was coming to put my resume under the door. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.”

  Resume? Under the door? But sure enough, he was holding an envelope.

  Pulling my coat closer to my body, I stared at him, intrigued. “You’re looking for a job at a florist?”

  “Yes, ma’am.”

  I laughed softly. “Please don’t call me ma’am. By the looks of it, I’m not much older than you.”

  “Okay. And again, I didn’t mean to startle you.”

  I plucked the envelope out of his hand. “Today was my grand opening, but give me a few weeks to get settled, and once I look over your resume, if I think we’d be a good match, I’ll more than likely give you a call. Christmas is going to be busy, so I may need some help. By the way, my name is Marnie.”

  “Nice to meet you, Marnie, I’m Finn. That sounds great. It’ll give me time to help Grandma get settled back here. I’ll let you go, and apologies again.”

  He walked off with his head down, and I stood there in shock. That was completely unexpected yet wonderful at the same time. Had the universe heard me saying I needed help? Seriously, could this day get any better?

  Well, I knew it would because I had plans to open the bottle of whiskey Austin had sent me, and I was going to create an epic cheese board for Sasha, Missy, and me to devour.

  Half an hour later, gravel crunched under the tires of my Jeep as I pulled up out front of my house. After a quick detour to the store, I knew I’d have just enough time to take a quick shower and pour a glass of whiskey before Sasha and Missy arrived.

  After grabbing the bag of groceries and the gift basket from the back seat, I clicked the lock and rushed up the stairs to get inside and out of the cold. The house was pitch black, and a thick chill hung in the air after being locked up all day. I placed the bags and gift basket on the kitchen island and headed straight for the fire. Thankfully, Cora and Trent had visited yesterday, and Trent had loaded me up with wood, so I didn’t have to go back outside and carry in wood. Soon enough, I had a fire, and quickly, my house began to warm up. Shooting a quick look at the clock that hung next to the front door, I squealed when I saw I was running out of time.

  I bolted upstairs, quickly undressed, and took a hasty shower to wash off the day. I scrubbed my face clean of makeup and lathered up with coconut body wash and enjoyed the stream of hot water for a few extra minutes I probably didn’t have to spare. Once I was done, I pulled on some tights, an oversized off-white sweater, and fluffy pink socks, and I was ready for the night.

  When I reached the kitchen, I went straight for the gift basket, unwrapped the cellophane, and pulled out all the contents. My smile didn’t budge. This was truly me in the form of a gift basket. Even though I was smiling, I couldn’t ignore the tiny stab to my heart when I thought of Austin remembering all my favorite things. But then again, I remembered everything about him. His weird fascination with blue cheese, his ability to drink coffee late at night and have it not affect his sleep, his fixation for peanut M&M’s, and his love of the peppermint-flavored lip-gloss I was once obsessed with. They were uniquely Austin and would forever remind me of him to the point that I’d only recently started wearing that lip-gloss again because every time I’d taste it, I’d remember his moans when we’d kiss.

  Excitedly, I wrapped my hand around the neck of the whiskey bottle and noticed Austin had sent my favorite. Without hesitating, I filled a short glass with ice and poured two fingers of the liquid gold. My eyes closed, and I sighed deeply as the delicious burn hit the back of my throat.

  Because I’d been on my feet all day and hadn’t had a moment to breathe, I hadn’t had a chance to text him my thanks. It would be the first time we’d been in contact since our impromptu road trip, and I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t nervous. Before I talked myself out of it, I lifted the glass to my lips, grabbed my phone, and took a quick selfie to send along with a message.

  Marnie: Thank you. I will definitely enjoy this.

  A few minutes later as I was arranging the cheese, meats, and crackers on my favorite four-leaf clover-shaped board, I received a message back with a photo of Austin, Ben, and Fletch all lifting glasses of beer toward the phone.

  Austin: We’re celebrating you in Michigan.

  Marnie: Don’t forget the whiskey.

  Austin: Never.

  I continued sipping on whiskey as I put the finishing touches on the cheese board. When I was satisfied with how it looked, I moved it to the coffee table in the living room and put a wine bottle chiller and some glasses next to it. Just as I finished lighting a couple of candles I’d picked up from Sass, there was a knock from the front door. After scanning the living room one last time, I grabbed my glass and headed to the door.

  Both girls held up a bottle of wine and greeted me with wide smiles when I opened the door.

  “Hi! Come in out of the cold.” I ushered them in, and that was when it hit me that this would be the first time Sasha had been here since she moved out. Panic ran wild through me. Would she like what I did to the place? Would she feel weird being here?

  “Oh my god, this place looks amazing. I love what you’ve done to it. Dammit, I should have bought a couch like that.”

  And she answered my question.

  I let out a deep breath. “I love living here. I have no plans on going anywhere.”

  “Well, if I decide to sell, you’ll be the first person I tell.”

  The thought of buying this place had never crossed my mind, but now that she’d mentioned it, I knew I’d think about it constantly. Buying a house in Monroe would be putting down permanent roots, and to be honest, I really liked the idea of that.

  Something I never thought I’d ever say.

  “Who are the balloons and gift basket from?” Sasha asked, eyes locked onto the gift basket still sitting on the kitchen island.

  I grabbed the bottle off her and stepped into the kitchen to uncork it. “Austin.”

  Missy’s eyes bugged wide. “Ohhhh!”

  “He had them delivered?
” Sasha gasped as if it was the most shocking thing she’s ever heard.

  “Yep, it arrived this afternoon. It’s everything I love in a basket.”

  Missy’s hand moved to cover her heart. “I’ve got to say, I never would have imagined Austin would be as romantic as I am learning. He just always seemed like the fun, casual, guys guy. I never thought he’d be a modern-day Romeo.”

  I chuckled. If only they truly knew how romantic he could be. Before I went down that memory lane, I finished my whiskey and grabbed the bottle of wine. “Let’s hang out in the living room. I hope you like cheese because I had a craving, so I made a board.”

  Sasha nodded. “Yep, we are all going to get along just fine.”

  Two bottles of wine and a cheeseboard later, my stomach ached from laughing, and I was in complete relaxation mode. Sasha and Missy were one hundred percent the kind of people I wanted to be friends with, so I put that on the list of why coming back to Monroe was the right decision. We’d talked about blow jobs, shoes, and ex-boyfriends. Well, the two of them did because I’d only had one ex worth mentioning, and he was their friend. We hadn’t spoken about threesomes which I’m sure Sasha was pleased about.

  “You do realize we are going to have to have the Austin discussion one day soon,” Missy said, wiggling her brows. “And we are going to want to know all the details.”

  I nodded. “I do realize this. I’ll give you a rapid five questions. What do you want to know?”

  Sasha and Missy looked at each other, contemplating what they’d ask.

  “When did you start dating?” Missy asked, and they both seemed to lean forward.

  “When I was seventeen. My family moved in across from the Hunts, and I crushed on him as soon as I saw him.”

  Next, it was Sasha’s turn. “Was he your first?”

  “Yep, my first everything.”

  Missy clicked her tongue while thinking of a question, and then asked, “How long ago did you break up?”

  “Seven years,” I revealed, popping the last cracker into my mouth. We’d decided to forgo dinner and just eat cheese, which I had absolutely no qualms about.

  Sasha tapped her finger on her bottom lip. Two questions to go.

  “When was the last time you saw him before you moved home?” she questioned, folding her legs under her body and not taking her eyes off me.

  My cheeks instantly flamed, and I couldn’t blame the wine, whiskey, or fire. “Uh, five years ago.” They both stared at me, anxiously waiting for more details, so I gave them what they wanted after sucking in a deep, calming breath. “When my dad was killed, I came home, and Austin was the only one who could comfort me, so I spent a week with him. We basically just cried, fucked, made love, ate, slept, and repeat. After that, I didn’t see or speak to him until the gala.”

  “I’m really sorry about your dad. I’ll never forget hearing about what happened. It is still so fresh in the minds of everyone here. He’ll never, ever be forgotten.” Sasha squeezed my hand, sounding truly sorry.

  I smiled weakly, then turned to Missy, deciding it would be best to get the conversation away from the worst time of my life, especially seeing that I’d been drinking and really didn’t want to spend the night crying.

  “One question to go. Better make it a good one.”

  “Shit, the pressure. Okay, okay, let me think. I have about a billion questions I want to ask.”

  I snickered. “I’m sure there will be plenty of other times to ask. Plus, I’ve got to keep both of you on your toes.”

  I left her to think and went to the kitchen to restock the cheese platter and grab another bottle of the wine I had in the fridge for them. I’d drunk enough wine to last me the year, so I grabbed a glass of water for me even though I really wanted more whiskey. When I walked back to the living room, Missy looked deep in thought, and Sasha was on her phone and had a whimsical look on her face.

  “Talking to Benji?” I queried softly.

  Her eyes instantly came to me, and she nodded. “Yeah.”

  “You are really good for him. I’ve never seen him like his, and I really, truly love seeing it.”

  “He’s pretty amazing. I’m wallowing, though, because it’s been two nights since I’ve slept next to him.” She pouted and wiped away a fake tear. “The struggle is real.”

  Missy rolled her eyes while smirking at Sasha. “Oh shit, someone’s dick whipped.”

  “Have you seen him lately? Damn straight, I am.”

  The three of us burst into fits of giggles, and for a moment, I thought question time was over, but Missy had other plans.

  “Okay, I’ve got my final question for the night.”

  I sipped on my water and waited.

  “Why did you two break up?”

  I was surprised it took them this long to ask the million-dollar question.

  I wouldn’t lie to them. I nibbled on my lip as I tried to find the right words to say. “Um, well, I asked him to marry me.” Their gasps were immediate, but I took a breath and revealed the final part of the answer. “And he said no.”

  “He said no?” Sasha whispered with shock plastered all over her face.

  Missy shook her head. “What the fuck?”

  I nodded, frowning slightly at them. “Yep, almost seven years ago.”

  They looked at each other.

  “I don’t even know what to say to that.” Missy was still shaking her head. “Have you two spoken about it?”

  Now, it was my turn to shake my head. “Nope, not a word.”

  “Wow.”

  After I dropped the bombshell of the century, the conversation moved to lighter topics. We spoke about Christmas, plans for New Year’s, and I’d told them about the random run-in with the Finn guy who was looking for a job. In our wine and whiskey haze, we agreed that the planets had aligned. When we all started yawning, we knew it was time to call it a night. Their Uber arrived in five minutes, and after saying good night, I locked myself in my house and did a quick cleanup before climbing into bed.

  My head was still racing from the conversation about Austin and me. I knew we had to face our past head on. If I had any chance of moving on with my life and figuring out my new version of forever, I had to know. Leaning over, I grabbed my phone from the side table and clicked into my texts. I looked at the last messages we’d sent to each other and stared at the picture of Austin, Ben, and Fletch. I focused on Austin’s smile and the cheekiness lingering in his exquisite green eyes. He was so damn handsome, like painfully handsome. Gah! I needed to stop staring at him; otherwise, I wouldn’t stop, and I really needed to stop.

  My fingers flew over the screen as I tapped in a message that would likely bring on a world of hurt.

  Marnie: I need to move on. We need to talk.

  Immediately, three dots appeared on the screen, then they disappeared, so I sent another text.

  Marnie: We need to talk about seven years ago.

  The three dots reappeared, and this time, a reply came through.

  Austin: I’ll come to you as soon as I’m back in town.

  I didn’t respond. After checking that my alarm was set, I switched my phone to silent and cuddled my pillow. As I stared out the window and into the darkness, my mind raced.

  I needed to know, but I didn’t want to know.

  As I learned in the car the other day, the same Austin I’d once loved still existed.

  I wanted him to be an asshole, a jerk, a completely different man from who I once knew.

  But he wasn’t. And that scared the absolute fuck out of me. Because if I’d loved that Austin once before, what would stop me from falling in love with him all over again?

  Eighteen

  Austin

  The trip to Michigan ended up taking the full week, and when I’d arrived back in Monroe, it was after midnight and way too late to go to Marnie. After a restless night, I woke up feeling uneasy, and it felt like the weight of the world was sitting on my chest. Her text we need to talk about seven years
ago had been replaying over in my head since I’d received it. I’m sure some would ask me why I didn’t bring up our past as soon as she got back into town. Believe me, I wanted to, and I knew we needed to talk about, but seeing her in the flesh, hearing her voice, and having her familiar flowery perfume engulf my senses had rendered me fucking useless, and I’d been a selfish prick who wanted to enjoy it for as long as I could. I’d made it crystal clear about where I stood now, and I hadn’t hidden the fact that I wanted us to be something again, but she was still living in the dark about where I stood when I broke her heart, and that was where the problem lay.

  With a groan, I climbed out of bed when I saw it was just before ten a.m. I was in desperate need of coffee, a shower, and food. Stumbling through my apartment with one hand scratching my jaw and the other running over my abs, I was thankful I had today off. First things first, I needed to see Marnie, then I had to get my shit organized for the next week. I was on nights, which meant a crazy sleep schedule, endless cups of the strongest coffee I could make, and weird and wonderful jobs Ben and I’d be called out to. It also meant stocking up my groceries so I didn’t come home to an empty fridge after working all night or spending all my money on takeout.

  While I scarfed down a bowl of cereal, I pulled up my messages and scrolled to Marnie’s name. My fingers hurried across the screen, and I kept the message short and to the point.

  Austin: Hey, you around today?

  After ditching my bowl in the sink, I took a quick shower and dressed in black jeans, and a simple white tee and grabbed a jacket that I’d throw on before I headed out.

  I picked up my phone from where I’d left it on the counter and found a reply from Marnie.

  Marnie: Yep.

  Austin: Where?

  I grabbed my keys and wallet and waited for her reply. Seconds felt like minutes, and minutes felt like hours. Yet a reply never came through.

  Austin: Marnie?

  Marnie: You know what, we don’t have to do this. We can keep doing what we’ve been doing. Keep living in Monroe, keep crossing paths, have the same friends, and just be civil, mature adults when we see each other.