My Only Reason (Men of Monroe Book 2)

by Rachel Brookes

  “Marnie.” Austin’s voice registered low next to me. His warm hand moved to my thigh and squeezed gently, but it did nothing to calm the storm raging inside me. “Freckles, look at me.”

  At the sound of my nickname, I met his eyes.

  “It’s not worth it,” he whispered, shaking his head slightly. “Not worth a thing.”

  He knew I’d seen his parents, but he should have also known that I could read him better than anyone else. The faint sign of hurt that lingered in his eyes was not lost on me. The tension in his shoulders and the way he tapped his foot, causing his leg to rub against mine under the table also screamed his feelings loudly to me. Most of the time, he didn’t give a shit about them, but there were moments when he realized what he didn’t have. And that was why I was pissed because they didn’t deserve that.

  But he was so wrong when he said it wasn’t worth it. I wholeheartedly agreed that his parents weren’t worth a thing, but Austin, he was worth the whole damn world.

  I pushed back my seat and rushed away from the table before he could stop me. I weaved my way through people, smiling at those who smiled at me, but I didn’t stop. The closer I got to my destination, the more my heart raced.

  “You’ve got a lot of nerve coming here,” I hissed, my hands moving to my hips when I arrived at the table where Baron and Cybil Hart sat.

  “Excuse me?” Cybil hissed, her eyes shooting wide.

  “Stop pretending you don’t see your son sitting over there.” I pointed back at the table I’d come from without taking my eyes off her. “You know, the same son who was in the hospital because a bullet grazed him, who you didn’t bother checking in on. And I know you knew what happened because my mom called and told you.”

  “What?” Baron gasped, his eyes shooting wide.

  “Do you mind keeping your voice down?” she warned with a fire burning in her eyes as she stared at me. “You’re going to make a scene.”

  “I will not keep my voice down, and I really don’t care if I cause a scene.”

  Warmth wrapped tightly around my hand, followed by a gentle squeeze. I didn’t need to look to know Austin had joined me. His mother looked furious while his father looked stunned and regretful. My attention didn’t move from either of them. Over the years, I hadn’t kept my feelings about them silent. Even before we started dating, I’d been around Austin long enough to have witnessed the act his parents portrayed in public. Austin and Ashlyn were trophy children for them, especially their mom. It was as simple as that. Cybil didn’t have a parental bone in her body, but there had been times when I clutched onto a smidgen of hope that his dad did, and I still do.

  “Austin, are you okay?” Baron asked softly with genuine hints of concern in his voice. “I’m sorry, I wasn’t made aware of any phone call made to your mother.”

  Austin’s hand clutched mine a little harder when he replied, “I’m fine.”

  “Now. He is fine now. That’s a question that should have been asked two weeks ago.”

  His dad’s eyes softened, and he gave a simple nod. His mother continued to fume next to him, and I swear I could hear her teeth grinding. She had no concern about her son; she was more concerned about how this would look as she continued her campaign to become the next mayor of Monroe.

  “This is not the time or place to discuss this. Call my office and organize a time for us to meet. It’s good to see your girlfriend still likes to throw around her attitude like she always has. Get her out of here, Austin. Get her away from me.”

  Baron took a surprising step forward and glared at his wife. “Cybil, back off.”

  “What?” she spat at her husband. “She brought this on herself by storming over here and throwing her attitude around. Austin should be married to Andrea and creating a family with her. A Thompson, not a Lavender.”

  “You sure you’re okay?” Baron ignored his wife and focused on Austin.

  “Yeah. Even though I’m perfectly healthy, Marnie’s been taking care of me.”

  He nodded, and for the first time in years, I saw an almost smile from him.

  Cybil scoffed and continued to glare at me. I couldn’t stand to breathe the same air as her any longer, but I had one thing to say to her before I planned on never speaking to her again.

  I edged in closer and leaned in so there’d be no chance of her not hearing me. “You don’t deserve Austin. You never have. You spent years saying I was bad news, the cop’s daughter who wasn’t good enough for your son but guess what? You were wrong. When you screwed up being his family, I became his family. The Hunts became his family. The Lavenders became his family. You lost the best man I know and the best son you could have asked for. That’s on you. Say shit about me, try to force me out of my store, do whatever the fuck you want, but know one thing. I put my head down every night knowing I’m a good person. Actually, I’m a great person. I get to hear Austin’s laugh, see his smile, know his dreams and goals, and I am certain I’ll be in his future. You won’t. And that’s something you will have to live with for the rest of your pitiful life. You did this. You. Not me. You.”

  I didn’t stay. After shrugging out of Austin’s grip, I spun around and stormed back to the table where everyone stared at me in varying degrees of shock. I took my seat and went back to eating my burger, still avoiding their eyes. My anger was blinding. This wasn’t the first time I’d confronted them, but it was the first time I’d done it in public, and it was definitely the first time I’d dropped the f-bomb. Did I care what they thought? Hell no. Did I care what people who witnessed my outburst were thinking? To be honest, I did.

  “That was awesome!”

  I blinked out of my angered daze and met Sasha’s warm eyes across the table. My cheeks flamed at the look of awe on her face. Ben sat next to her grinning and nodding in agreement.

  “Are you okay?” Austin swept my hair off my shoulder after he slipped into the seat next to me. “Look at me, Freckles.”

  I didn’t want to look at him. I’d let my emotions get the best of me, and I needed a moment to breathe. Today proved yet again that no matter what had happened between us, I’d always protect him. I’d spent seven years trying to move on, and even though my mind told me I needed to, my heart had other ideas.

  I lifted my glass to my lips and drained the rest of my whiskey. The burn as it slid down my throat comforted me and left me with a sense of ease I desperately needed to look at Austin. The green in his eyes twinkled with the perfect combination of intrigue and worry when I finally looked at him. A smile usually eased his worry, but tonight, I couldn’t even muster that. Tonight’s confrontation with his parents felt different. Like something had shifted not just between Austin and me, but also between his parents and us.

  “I’m sorry,” I whispered, my voice shaking. “I shouldn’t have done that.”

  “You’re sorry for protecting me, for defending me, for taking care of me, for sticking up for me?” He shifted toward me, his knees pressing lightly against mine. “You’re apologizing for that?”

  I dropped my eyes, and it took him two seconds to place his finger under my chin and lift my face and eyes back to his. “Don’t take your eyes away from me, Freckles.”

  “Can we go? I don’t want to stay here,” I whispered, my body still shaking with fury.

  He nodded, pushing back from the table, and grabbed my hand. “We’re heading out.”

  “You okay, MJ?” Ben asked, softly, and I felt everyone staring at me.

  All I could do was nod.

  Austin’s warm hand squeezed mine, and we left the table and our friends with quick goodbyes. I climbed into Austin’s truck and stared out the side window. My mind was racing at a million miles an hour, and I didn’t know what to say or do.

  The engine roared to life, then he pulled out of the lot. We drove in complete silence, and the air felt thick with tension. Fresh tears filled my eyes, but they weren’t because of the fury I felt toward his parents. They were brought on because I felt like I’d
fucked everything up.

  As I rested my head against the window, darkness swallowed his truck. Torment swam wickedly through my head, and then it dawned on me. What if I was too late? What if I’d left it too long to tell him how I felt, how hearing he’d been shot cleared the fog in my head and made me see clearer and made me realize I couldn’t think of one month, one year, five years, or twenty years into the future and not see him beside me. Even when I spent years not seeing a future for us, I realized now that it was because he’d been holding it firmly in his hands and heart, waiting for the perfect time to give it back to me.

  As my mind went to war, I remained silent and stared outside. As he turned into my driveway, he switched off the engine and climbed out of his truck. I watched him walked around the hood to the passenger door. I hissed when the chilled air hit my face. Still, without saying a word, he grabbed my hand and pulled me out of my seat, then followed me up the porch steps and hovered behind me as I fumbled with my keys to unlock the door.

  After switching on the lights, I placed my keys and purse on the kitchen counter and sucked in a breath, hoping it would calm the wildness pulsating within me.

  I spun around to face him. “I’m really sorry about—”

  Austin stole my words when his lips crushed against mine in a brutal kiss that sucked the air out of my lungs. I clutched his jacket, wrapping my fist tightly around the edges and held on for dear life. His tongue swept against my lips; tasting, taunting, tempting. My lips parted, inviting him in, and he took the invitation without a beat of hesitation. Even though we’d kissed hundreds of times before, this felt like our very first time. We molded together. Learning, craving, and memorizing every nibble, caress, hitch of breath, and desperate movement.

  Austin broke first, but his mouth hovered over mine, allowing our desperate attempts to suck in air to bounce off each other. My hand still clutched his jacket, and his fist was buried in my hair.

  “What you did back there? Fuck, Marnie.”

  I rose on my tiptoes, pressing my body against his warmth. Words failed me, but they didn’t fail him.

  “It’s always been you. You always stood by me. You always had my back. When the people who should have cared about me didn’t give a fuck, you cared more than anyone. Tonight, you showed me that again. You made life easy for me then, and you’re making life easy for me now. You were the sun that always brightened my dark days, and right now, you’re shining really fucking brightly. You’re blinding me, Freckles, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

  His words penetrated my heart and landed deep within my soul. It couldn’t be denied anymore. I was his, and he’d always been mine. Our past was our past, and even though there were moments of turmoil, what a beautiful past it had truly been. Life was short, it had the potential to change in a blink of an eye, and it needed to be lived, experienced, and faced head-on. My present and future belonged to not just me, but it would also be shared with this man.

  I stared up at him, his eyes never moving from mine. “If I’m the sun that brightened your dark days, then you’re the earth that allowed my flowers to bloom.”

  His green eyes flamed, and his grip on my hair tightened. “Tell me you want this.”

  It was time to unlock my heart for him. “Make me yours again.”

  Again, his lips slammed down onto mine, but this kiss was different. This kiss felt like new beginnings, second chances, and starting over. This kiss was a promise, a pledge, a commitment, and I was all-fucking-in.

  “Austin. Bedroom. Now.”

  His chuckle vibrated against my mouth. “My girl’s still as needy as ever.”

  “Enough chatting, more fucking,” I begged with not just my words but also the look of desperation in my eyes. Now that I’d tasted his kiss again, I craved the feel of his body on mine.

  I shrieked when he grabbed my hand and dragged me upstairs toward my bedroom. As soon as we stepped through the door, we went into attack mode. Five years of longing, frustration, and need exploded within the four walls of my bedroom. We tore at each other’s clothes, and desperation landed in piles on the floor. After I removed his jacket and shirt, my hands ran over his chest and landed on firm abs. I’d touched him hundreds of times before, but this body was new. The ridges and grooves were different, but the soft moans that fell from his lips were what memories were made of.

  Austin watched me explore his body, and his muscles rippled beneath my fingertips. Leaning in, I kissed over his heart and smiled as it thumped unrelentingly beneath my lips. Heat roared through my body with anticipation. My time to explore ended abruptly when he stepped forward, causing me to step back toward the bed. When my legs hit the mattress, I fell backward and crawled up onto the bed. I laid on display to him, wearing just my lace bra and panties, and as his hungry gaze trampled over my body, I realized only he could make me feel as sexy as I did at this moment.

  He leaned down, his body shadowing mine as he kissed me softly. Our kiss ended as quickly as it began, then the stubble on his jaw scratched my skin as he kissed his way down my body, starting at my neck, sweeping over my collarbone, caressing my breasts, before landing on my stomach. He was igniting the embers that had been glowing for weeks, and every inch of me burst into flames.

  I whimpered under his touch. My hands clutched the sheets as his mouth came back to my nipple. Swiping over my hardened peak with his tongue, he moved his hand to the top of my lace panties. Like the master I remembered him to be, he sucked hard on my nipple as his hand slipped inside the lace and his finger swirled over my clit.

  I cried out unashamedly as my hips shot up from the bed, desperate for more. He moved his mouth from my nipple, and my eyes slammed shut as his hot breath caressed the curve of my ear. I braced for whatever he was going to say. Instead of showing his desire with words, he showed it with his fingers. Sliding one, then quickly adding a second, he slid his thick, long fingers deep into my pussy. My gasp tore through the room. I rocked as he pumped his fingers, his mouth never leaving its position next to my ear.

  “I’m desperate to hear you come, to see if you still pant my name and tighten hard around my fingers or cock as if you never wanted to let me go. But the first time you’ll come tonight will be around my cock because sliding inside you is going to feel like coming home, and we come home together. You with me, Freckles?”

  “Yes,” I panted as he continued thrusting his fingers in and out of me in long, steady movements.

  At this rate, I was racing to the quickest orgasm of my life. Thankfully, he could read my face, and he was familiar to when I was well on my way to crashing. With a smirk, he removed his fingers and lifted them to his lips. I watched him with my heart lodged in my throat as he licked my wetness from his fingers.

  If I wasn’t ready already on the brink of coming hard, then that would do it.

  Slowly, with our eyes locked and screaming unspoken promises to each other, he slid inside me, and it felt instantly surreal yet beautifully familiar. I’d spent years thinking I’d never feel this sense of euphoria again. My moan lingered in the air as I adjusted around his size, stretching and welcoming him back to where he’d always belonged. I barely had time to take a breath before he unleashed years of need and months of pent-up sexual tension onto my body. We fell into a rhythm quickly, finding our pace of long, deep movements, of our bodies joining as one. Then came the switch I’d always loved about Austin. In a split second, I went from having him on top of me to having my cheek on the pillows and him slamming into me from behind. I cried out as pleasure coursed through me, and the scent of desire clung to every inch of my bedroom. He knew what I craved, and he gave it to me while taking what he needed.

  I twisted my head, looking at him over my shoulder. His eyes burned with desire.

  “Missed you,” I panted when our eyes locked.

  The blinding smile that hit his lips would go down as one of the most beautiful sights I’d ever witnessed. As quickly as I was on my belly, I was flipped over onto my b
ack again with Austin’s body covering mine. His movements slowed, allowing me to feel every inch of his cock glide in and out of me, filling me perfectly and stretching me completely.

  Before I could stop myself, words tumbled out of my mouth that confirmed exactly where my mind and heart were at.

  “I’m clean. I was tested after my last time. And I’m protected.”

  His head shot up, and he stilled inside me.

  “You’re inviting me to come inside you?”

  I nodded, nibbling on my bottom lip. I’m sure there would be plenty of people who would think I was crazy, but this was Austin. It was as simple as that. He was my Austin. We were different people now, but I’d never trusted anyone like I’d trusted him, and I knew it would kill him to ever hurt me.

  Slowly, his hips moved. “I’m clean too. Never been unprotected with anyone other than you. You’re my one and only.”

  His words, fuck, his words destroyed me in the best possible way. The quicker his movements became, the more I panted. He buried his face in my neck, and I felt him smile against my skin when I panted his name, begging him to go faster and deeper.

  And he did. Long, fast, deep. Claiming every inch of me with every inch of him. My skin prickled with awareness, and my belly tightened. I was close, and I wanted it. I needed it.

  “I’m going to come,” I panted, wrapping my legs tighter around his hips as he moved faster. “I want you to come with me.”

  He groaned against my neck, and we came together in a sea of warmth, shuddering breaths, and whispered cries of each other’s name. I don’t know how long we laid together with him still deep inside me and our heavy breathing and thumping hearts the only noise in the room. But however long it was, it was perfect.

  “I need to clean up,” I whispered after what could have been five minutes or five hours.

  He nodded against my neck and slowly slid out of me. Quickly, I crawled off the bed and disappeared into the bathroom. After cleaning up, I switched off the bathroom light and walked back into my bedroom to find Austin now under the blankets with his eyes closed. I crawled in next to him and curled against his body. His arms wrapped tightly around me, pulling me into his warmth.