Protect

by Bailey, Sarah

  Tonight the entire Benson clan had descended on the house. A yearly tradition to celebrate their mother’s life on the day she’d been taken from them. A number of things had changed since last year. We were about to welcome a new member into the family, James and Fi had partners and Jen was living at home again. At least Dante’s was considered their family home what with their hated memories about Zach’s house where they’d grown up.

  With Liora not feeling up to preparing a huge meal for everyone, it’d been left to me to order in. I’d just finished sorting everyone’s choices for Indian and placed the order on my phone when it started ringing.

  Cam.

  I really didn’t want to speak to my sister but if I didn’t answer, there’d be hell to pay later. Excusing myself from the living room, I walked out onto the landing and answered.

  “Hello?”

  “You won’t believe what Billy has done this time,” came the husky tones of my sister, Camilla, who’d been a chain smoker since she was twelve years old.

  Yeah, I’d grown up in a shitty area on a council estate and my sister still lived there with her six kids and our dad. I tried to see them every couple of months, but it was also fucking depressing. Mum left when we were young and Dad was an alcoholic. I’d stepped up to the plate and helped raise Cam, which meant she ended up calling me whenever something was wrong. Like now apparently.

  “What?”

  Her eldest, William was always in trouble at school for one thing or another. At fourteen, he’d been expelled from at least one school already and it wasn’t looking good for the current one. How this had become my problem was a mystery to me since he had a dad. Aaron might be a wastrel but he was still Billy and Kyle’s father. Kyle was twelve and a complete book nerd. She had three kids, Crystal, Jaqueline and April, with Sid and last but not least, there was Kayden, her youngest with her current on and off boyfriend, Manny.

  “He was caught threatening some kid with a knife on the school grounds. I really need you to come sort him out. He won’t listen to me.”

  My sister had to be joking. Billy didn’t listen to me either. He was a law unto himself. The kid was destined for prison before he’d even turned eighteen at this rate.

  “And why on earth do you think I have time to deal with your son yet again?”

  “Come on, Brent, you know you’re better at this discipline stuff than I am.”

  I shook my head. My sister really did my head right in.

  “Here’s an idea, why don’t you ask his father to speak to him? You know as well as I do Aaron is the only person in this world he looks up to.”

  “I don’t know where he is.”

  “I’m busy. I can’t come deal with your son and even if I wasn’t busy, I’d still be telling you to sort it out yourself. I’m not his father and it’s not my fault you don’t get along with Aaron any longer.”

  I heard the kids screaming in the background and Cam shouting at them to be quiet.

  “Please, you always come. You always help me.”

  In the past, perhaps, but now I was fed up. My sister kept pulling this shit with me and I was done. Not least because I had enough shit going on in my own life. I didn’t have the energy to deal with hers too.

  “No, Cam. I’m not coming to your fucking rescue. Deal with your kids yourself. If you knew you wouldn’t be able to cope, then you shouldn’t have fucking well got knocked up so many times. Don’t call me unless you have a genuine emergency or something is wrong with Dad. I’m not your fucking dogsbody. You get enough out of me as it is. I’m done.”

  I hung up on her before I said anything else I regretted. Slamming my hand against the wall, I let out a long breath. God my sister really wound me up.

  “Brent?” came the tentative tones of Jen from behind me.

  I didn’t turn around. Seeing Jen would really fuck with me right now. I was desperate to know what was going on with her. Why she seemed to suddenly be okay with spending time with me after she’d spent twelve years hating me. Was it because we’d had sex? Did she still hate me like she said she did? I had no clue. Her being here and probably having heard my conversation with my sister didn’t help me in the slightest.

  “What is it, Jen?”

  “Are you okay?”

  I turned and stared at her. Her blue eyes were wide and her face full of confusion.

  “Do I look okay to you?”

  My voice came out all harsh when I hadn’t meant it to. Her expression dropped.

  “Well, excuse me for being concerned,” she snapped back.

  “Since when did you start giving a shit about me?”

  Hurt flashed across her features before she steeled them. Her hand came up and curled into a fist before falling back to her side.

  “You know what, Brent? Fuck you… Just fuck you.”

  Her words were loud enough that they likely carried through into the living room. She turned on her heel and stormed towards it.

  “Jen…”

  She stuck up her middle finger behind her before disappearing through the door. I scraped a hand across my face. Well, I’d fucked that right up. We’d had a weird sort of truce between us up until now. Whilst it bothered me a little, I’d also enjoyed spending time with her without all the name calling and her telling me where to go. Just me and Jen having a laugh with each other. It’d been nice, almost like we were turning a corner.

  What the hell is wrong with you? Why are you ruining shit between you?

  I stuffed my phone back in my pocket and followed her. When I sat back down on one of the sofas, I had a hard stare from Dante as if he was pissed off about me and Jen were fighting again. I shrugged at him. What did he want me to do? I had no control when it came to Jen. None whatsoever.

  ***

  It was just my luck I got stuck sitting next to Jen at dinner, although hardly surprising considering Fi and James had insisted on Ellie and Jensen attending. Jen was clearly as unhappy with the seating arrangements as me. She’d barely said a word, scowling into her lamb jalfrezi like she had a grudge against it. Fi kept glancing at her. Clearly her twin sense was buzzing.

  When everyone else was occupied I leant over to her.

  “I’m sorry I snapped at you,” I whispered.

  She didn’t respond, just glanced at me with a deadly look in her eyes. She wasn’t going to make this easy for me. Great. I had to try because living under the same roof with her pissed off at me wasn’t going to be fun.

  “Please don’t be mad at me. I thought we were getting along.”

  “You thought wrong,” she hissed before turning away.

  Testing the waters, I reached out under the table and ran my fingers along the edge of her thigh. She stiffened. When she looked back at me, her blue eyes were blazing, like the firestorm I knew her to be.

  “Don’t fucking touch me,” she ground out, her voice low and laced with anger.

  The next thing I knew, she’d pushed back her seat, spitting out “Excuse me,” before storming out of the room. I sighed, rubbing my face. Fi stared after her and looked like she was about to get up too.

  I put a hand up. “I’ll go. I’m the one she’s pissed off at.”

  “You sure that’s a good idea?”

  “No, but I can handle Jen.”

  Fi gave me a sympathetic look. She knew just how much shit Jen always gave me. Dante gave me a significant look before I left the table. He knew all about his little sister’s temperament and her wild moods. Probably glad I was on the receiving end and not him. It was like I’d said, I could handle Jen when she spat fire at me. However, things were different between us since we’d slept together. I wasn’t sure whether we’d end up having a shouting match or if it’d escalate into something else. Like hate fucking. Something I couldn’t exactly afford to engage in considering everyone was here and I swore to myself I wouldn’t allow either of us to get carried away again.

  I found Jen pacing the firs
t floor landing, her fists clenched at her sides. When she saw me, she stopped in her tracks, her face contorting with rage.

  “What the fuck do you want?”

  “I want to talk to you.”

  “Yeah, well, I don’t want to talk to you.”

  I took a step towards her.

  “I said I was sorry for earlier. I didn’t mean to snap at you. My sister just pisses me off, which you likely heard anyway.”

  “I don’t care. Apology not accepted.”

  I took another step in her direction.

  “Tonight isn’t about us, it’s about celebrating your mother.”

  “There is no us. There never has been.”

  I stifled a sigh, well aware we were not, and never would be, an ‘us’.

  “I’m trying here, Jen. You never make anything easy on me and that’s okay, but this isn’t the time.”

  She threw her hands up.

  “You don’t need to fucking try. We are not friends. We are nothing.”

  If only she knew how much it hurt. How it ripped my heart to pieces. My chest burnt, but I ignored it. Jen might have her claws out, but I wasn’t scared of her when she got like this. I moved further towards her. There were only a couple of steps left between us.

  “Why are you so pissed off at me?”

  “Not everything is about you! Don’t be so fucking narcissistic.”

  “Then stop shouting at me.”

  “Just leave me the fuck alone.”

  She was practically screaming now and I knew very well the sound would be carrying downstairs. If she thought I was going to leave her like this, she had another think coming. Reaching out, I gripped her arm and pulled her towards her bedroom. I think she was so surprised I’d done it, she didn’t resist. When we were inside with the door shut, I let go of her. Those heated blue eyes stared up at me.

  “What is wrong with you?”

  “Nothing.”

  “Don’t give me that bullshit. You’ve been weird ever since that night you hugged me, so either you tell me what’s wrong or you calm the fuck down, come downstairs and have dinner with your family.”

  She put her hands up as if to shove me away but I caught both of them. Her eyes were molten. She could spit fire at me all she wanted, but I wasn’t letting her ruin what was meant to be a celebration of her mother’s life.

  “Let go!”

  “No.”

  “I hate you.”

  “You’ve made that clear on many, many occasions.”

  It still stung when she said it, but I was trying my best to ignore that part.

  “Why do you even care what’s wrong with me? Huh? Trying to be the hero or something?”

  I stifled the urge to roll my eyes. She really didn’t have a filter when she was angry.

  “Yes, Jen, because you’re really such a damsel in distress. Don’t be ridiculous.”

  “Just let go of me.”

  She struggled in my grasp. I held on tighter, pulling her closer to me so she’d stop trying to get away.

  “Tell me what’s going on with you.”

  “Why should I? You’re not my fucking friend, Brent. We don’t owe each other anything just because we fucked three times.”

  She really did know how to throw punches during an argument. I think this was possibly the worst one we’d ever had. I’d never seen her this pissed off nor had it directed at me.

  “Stop deflecting. This has nothing to do with us sleeping together and you know it. Tell me what’s wrong.”

  “I can’t. I can’t fucking tell you.”

  Now we were getting somewhere. She’d just admitted something was going on with her.

  “Why not?”

  “I just can’t, so stop asking.”

  She deflated, her blue eyes losing some of their fire. I let go of her hands. She didn’t move away from me.

  “Did something happen that night?”

  “Yes. Don’t ask me what it was.”

  I reached up and cupped her face on instinct. She shuddered under my touch.

  “Did someone hurt you?”

  “No. No one fucking hurt me.”

  “Good, because if they had, I’d have to punch their lights out.”

  That got a slight smile out of her.

  “Why would you do that?”

  “Did you forget it’s part of my responsibility to protect you? I might be D’s friend, but I’m also still technically his bodyguard though I don’t do much of that these days.”

  “I don’t need protecting,” she muttered, rolling her eyes.

  I wouldn’t dispute that. I still wanted to protect Jen even if she didn’t need that from me. When she looked at me again, her eyes softened. The sight of it made my heart thump. Whilst her face happened to be a little flushed, she looked beautiful. She always did to me, but that was beside the point.

  “Why did you come after me?”

  “I thought you were mad at me.”

  “I am.”

  I raised an eyebrow.

  “Still?”

  She moved closer so our chests were brushing together. Her Dior scent surrounded us, making my mouth water and my cock stand to attention.

  Damn it, Jen.

  It wasn’t just her closeness. It was seeing her angry and worked up. My firestorm. A whirlwind of red hot passion. She burnt with it. And she was stunning.

  “Yeah, I’m still pissed at you. Pissed you came after me. Pissed you knew it wasn’t really about you. Pissed as hell that being close to you drives me crazy.”

  I stared at her, mesmerised by her lips telling me I made her angry and crazy. She made me crazy too. So fucking crazy for her.

  “Why do you make me want to strangle you and fuck you at the same time?” she asked quietly. “Why do I hate you, but still want you? You have no idea how fucking turned on I am right now from fighting with you.”

  Those words taunted me. Tempted me. And I was about to play with fire.

  I’m going to hell.

  My hand left her cheek and fisted in her hair instead, pulling her head back before I leant down and ran my nose up her neck. She let out a small whimper. I stole the sound from her mouth, my lips covering hers. Her fingers curled into my shirt, holding onto me like she was drowning as I held her in place and kissed her like she was my air. My other hand cupped her arse and pulled her flush against me.

  If she was going to say shit like that, then she’d have to face the consequences. Jen wasn’t the only one turned on by our argument. Turned on by the fire burning between us. Fighting only stoked the flames.

  “You drive me insane,” I told her, my lips brushing against hers. “When I’m with you, all I can think about is how wet, tight and warm you feel when I’m inside you. I want you. I want you so fucking much it burns.”

  I didn’t let her respond, devouring her mouth because I was starving for her. Her hands gripped my shirt tighter and she kissed me back, showing me she was on board with this. That she wanted me just as much.

  The only thing which stopped this absolute madness was a loud knock on the door, startling both of us. I pulled back, staring down at Jen. Her lips were a little swollen, her eyes wide and wild.

  “Jen? Are you okay?” came Fi’s voice.

  I indicated the door with my head.

  “I’m fine,” Jen called.

  “You sure? We’re not going to find Brent dead in your room or anything, are we? Do you need me to help you hide the body?”

  I bit my lip and Jen rolled her eyes.

  “No, I haven’t killed him… yet.”

  She raised an eyebrow at me.

  “Well, your food is getting cold, but we can heat it up in the microwave if you want.”

  “We’ll be down in a minute.”

  “Okay. I’ll go warm it up then.”

  We heard her retreating footsteps a moment later. My hand was still locked around Jen’s hair. We stared at e
ach other for a long moment.

  “This isn’t over,” I said. “Not by a long shot.”

  “No? What happened to me being Dante’s little sister?”

  I almost flinched. That was the equivalent of throwing cold water all over me. Did she have to bring it up? Dante would really kill me if he knew. I let go of her abruptly, stepping back as I regained my senses.

  “That hasn’t changed.”

  “Then what, Brent? Are we going to keep playing this ridiculous game where things get out of control then you tell me we can’t after it’s already happened because of my brother? If so, then I’m out.”

  “No. We’re not playing any games or doing anything with each other. You were right. We’re not friends. We aren’t anything.”

  Her eyes flashed. It hurt me to say those words to her because they were a lie, but what else could I do? My loyalty would always remain with Dante no matter what my feelings towards his sister were. No matter how much I loved Jen. And I really did love her to fucking death. She might be a handful. She might rant and rave, but she was beautiful inside and out. She was smart, funny and she loved hard. Her family meant everything to her even if sometimes they made her angry. If anyone tried to hurt them, she’d walk through fire to save them.

  “Fine.”

  “We’re going to go downstairs and act like things between us are normal.”

  “Fine.”

  “Good.”

  I could see the hurt in her eyes and it gutted me. Jen and I would be a disaster in the making. I’d already seen the fallout in the family over Fi and Jensen’s relationship. I didn’t want that shit happening between me and Dante. Not least because it would be worse. I’d been with them for twelve years. He’d know this hadn’t just happened overnight. At least not for me. Dante knew me better than anyone.

  So me and Jen?

  We couldn’t be anything.

  I couldn’t afford that.

  No matter how much it killed me to open the door and walk out of Jen’s room with her trailing behind me and pretend she meant nothing to me, I had to do it. For all of our sakes.